Being devoured alive is a terrible way to go, so naturally there's an entire genre of horror devoted to animals going apeshit on folks who should be higher up on the food chain. Peter Benchley wasn't the first dude to write a book about nature culling the human population (he's pre-dated by the likes of Daphne Du Maurier's The Birds from 1953, and Stephen Gilbert's Ratman's Notebooks from 1969), but after Jaws hit the best-seller list in 1973, you couldn't stop the copycats. James Herbert was one of the first, pushing Rats on to British shelves in 1974, and from then, every species you cared to name was up for co-opting in the name of terror: dogs, cats, cockroaches, bears, bats, bees -- didn't matter. If it was alive and capable of consuming and/or destroying people, someone wrote a book about it doing just that.
Shaun Hutson arrived on the scene like the kid who got picked last for kickball. Other people had already penned stories about the bigger, nastier, and deadlier critters out there, but that wasn't about to stop Hutson. Oh no. He dove head-first into that barrel to scrape the bottom, and he came up both slimy and swinging with Slugs.
This book is exactly what you think it is: a story about murderous, poisonous, flesh-stripping, blood-drinking, shell-less terrestrial gastropods. They invade small town UK, crawling through the grass and slithering through the sewers in their relentless search for flesh, and when they do, read that first sentence again.
Slugs are about the goofiest would-be killers on the planet. They move with sloth-like speed, are completely unarmored, and can be murdered by common table salt. Nevertheless, Hutson manages to turn something preyed on by nearly everything else in the animal kingdom into a roiling, writhing, burrowing, slimy shit show of equal parts awful and hilarious.
This is not, by any stretch of the imagination, a "good" book. The characters are forgettable (seriously, 48 hours later and I can't even remember the protagonist's name), the plot is ludicrous, and the premise is absurd. Despite this, Hutson spun three hundred and sixty-eight gawddamn pages out of that one-word title, and once you start, you'll keep going, because you already knew what you were getting into from the cover.
Slugs is everything wrong (and thus, to me, everything right) with 80's creature-feature horror. It turned a common garden nuisance into the invertebrate equivalent of Michael Myers. It reads very much like the novelization of a direct-to-video horror flick, but in this case, the book spawned a terrible movie instead. No, trust me, you don't want to see it. Even Hutson thought it was awful.
You pick up a book like Slugs for one reason, and one reason only: to see how inventive the author can be when it comes to wholesale slaughter. As long as this is why you're reading Slugs, you'll be impressed at all the ways Hutson savages his characters. By the time the danger is presumed contained, you'll have seen beloved pets turned into liquid hamburger, genitals burrowed into, eyes destroyed, brains hemorrhaged, tongues chewed, grave robbers devoured, women consumed, children obliterated, and oh yeah, an enormous sewer explosion that should, by all rights, flood everyone's home with a flaming torrent of cascading shit.
It doesn't do this, but it should. Flaming torrents of cascading shit should be a problem for everyone, not just me after a trip to Long John Silver's. Hutson exercises better bowel control than I have. Good for him. Good for all of us, really.
Hutson ends Slugs on a cliffhanger, which allowed him to write its follow-up, Breeding Ground, a few years later. I haven't read it, but come on, it's "Man-Eating Slugs vs Humanity, Round Two!", and Hutson ran out of fucks to give roughly four pages into round one, so I can't imagine it's too high-brow for the likes of me.
Best Scene:
There is precisely one scene in Slugs that damn near made me unintentionally regurgitate my supper. One poor sod accidentally sucks down a slug with his salad, which causes him tremendous stomach pain at first, then later a literal splitting headache. See, it isn't bad enough that the slugs want to eat you. Said slugs also carry around a nasty-ass parasite called a schistosome in their blood stream, and these sons of bitches are designed to do one thing and one thing only: get into your bloodstream, lay eggs in your brain, then grow into worms which burrow out of their human host.
Through the eyeballs.
We watch this happen to our poor walking time bomb in the middle of his high-stakes business lunch, and the results are lovingly described right down to all the barfing everybody else does when they see this poor schlub cross over the rainbow bridge.
Now that I think about it, there's a lot of throwing up in Slugs. Way more hurling than I think I've ever read in any other horror novel. Shaun Hutson loves to make his characters toss their cookies, whether it's from witnessing gruesome events, or because they're crawling through a pit of chest-deep turd water in the local sewers. If you're prone to sympathetic technicolor yawns, Slugs is not the book for you.