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For Keeps: Women Tell the Truth About Their Bodies, Growing Older, and Acceptance
Nearly every aging woman has a complicated relationship with her body. For Keeps , an inspirational collection of personal essays from writers on their ever-changing bodies, will resonate with every maturing woman. Editor Victoria Zackheim brings together women with unique voices who have all struggled, at one time or another, to make peace with the bodies that at times they don’t even recognize as their own. From a mastectomy that renewed one woman’s lease on life, to the emergence of gray hairs and wrinkles, each woman addresses aging, illness, injury, and life circumstances with humor and grace. These empowering essays explore the many ways that aging can be a positive, revealing transformation; Ultimately, For Keeps challenges every woman to rethink the way she sees her body through various life-altering changes in order to lead a more healthy, satisfying, and productive life.
256 pages, Paperback
First published November 23, 2007
3 people are currently reading
96 people want to read
About the author
Victoria Zackheim
20 books83 followersVictoria Zackheim is the author of the novel, The Bone Weaver, and editor of six anthologies, the most recent being FAITH: Essays From Believers, Agnostics, and Atheists. Her screenplay, Maidstone, a feature film, is in development, as are her theater plays The Other Woman and Entangled. Victoria also writes documentary films and teaches creative nonfiction (Personal Essay) in the UCLA Extension Writers’ Program. She is a 2010 San Francisco Library Laureate.
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Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews
March 9, 2008
For Keeps is not an easy book to read. It is not about pretty women with perfect bodies who find easy acceptance in a beauty-obsessed culture. It is an impolite, impertinent, irreverent collection of essays written by twenty-seven much-published and gifted writers who are not afraid to tell the truth about the imperfect bodies they have learned to live in--and learned to love.
These are hard truths. "My Mother's Body Image, My Self" (Sara Nelson), tells us that our obsessions about the size and shape and appearance of our bodies are often taught to us by our mothers--who may have been obsessed with their own bodies. An unhealthy preoccupation with physical image and the desire to use bodies to please men can be passed from mother to daughter.
"Dead Bone" (Aimee Liu) is the story of a young woman who became first an anorexic, then an "exercise zealot" for whom physical suffering was a path to perfection. A series of disabling injuries at least teaches her a necessary lesson. "My body finally, definitively, forced the message over my perverse will: I could no longer afford the fallacy that pain would make me better."
"What I Gave Up" (Ellen Sussman) follows the life of a woman who (pushed by her father) went from being a "killer tennis player" to being a compulsive competitive runner to the practice of yoga--each transition accompanied by the rupture of a spinal disk. Now facing her third spinal fusion, Sussman can say, "What I hope for is this: that I can live in this body without pain; that I can use it as well as I'm able to; and that my mind can accept these changes with the grace of an athlete." It's a prayer that we might all etch on our bathroom mirrors.
Victoria Zackheim, the editor of this splendid and often unsettling anthology, remarks in her introduction that most of us spend our lives "worrying more about taut stomachs than about healthy aging" and care more "about society's expectations than our own personal growth." But the women who contributed to this collection show us that it is possible to face our imperfections and confront the daunting prospect of aging in a culture that places a high premium on youth. "It's a new experience, living in a body that feels old," writes Joy Price in "Making Love and Joy in Seasoned Bodies." "My body surprises me every day: What parts will and won't work today?"
And yes, we are asked to own up to death. One of my favorites, "Death Becomes Her," begins with the Monty Python line, "Cake? or Death?" In it, Louisa Ermelino writes about the nearly simultaneous deaths of her mother and her husband. How does a daughter, a wife, live through something so impossible, so terrible? With grace, with compassion, with humor, with love. At the end, Ermelino writes: "I have a vision. My mother is at the stove; my husband is at the kitchen table. The sun is coming in the window. She is making him something to eat. Cake, please..."
Several of the writers had to confront the terrifying prospect of their own deaths. "One of the hardest things about having cancer was leaving the old me at the border, the innocent, healthy me, eater of broccoli and tofu, and facing my own mortality." That's Barbara Abercrombie in "The Best Birthday of All." And then there's Margot Beth Duxler, who learns (in "Impossible Geometry") that she has a tumor on her heart. "No, actually," her doctor corrects her as she wrestles with the news, "it's in your heart."
I wish that every woman could read and take to heart each of the stories in this anthology. It is a rare collection, uncompromisingly honest, ruthlessly real, uncomfortably raw, yet warmed with a very human compassion and brightened by the triumphs, small and large, that make each of these writers a heroine in her own right.
These are hard truths. "My Mother's Body Image, My Self" (Sara Nelson), tells us that our obsessions about the size and shape and appearance of our bodies are often taught to us by our mothers--who may have been obsessed with their own bodies. An unhealthy preoccupation with physical image and the desire to use bodies to please men can be passed from mother to daughter.
"Dead Bone" (Aimee Liu) is the story of a young woman who became first an anorexic, then an "exercise zealot" for whom physical suffering was a path to perfection. A series of disabling injuries at least teaches her a necessary lesson. "My body finally, definitively, forced the message over my perverse will: I could no longer afford the fallacy that pain would make me better."
"What I Gave Up" (Ellen Sussman) follows the life of a woman who (pushed by her father) went from being a "killer tennis player" to being a compulsive competitive runner to the practice of yoga--each transition accompanied by the rupture of a spinal disk. Now facing her third spinal fusion, Sussman can say, "What I hope for is this: that I can live in this body without pain; that I can use it as well as I'm able to; and that my mind can accept these changes with the grace of an athlete." It's a prayer that we might all etch on our bathroom mirrors.
Victoria Zackheim, the editor of this splendid and often unsettling anthology, remarks in her introduction that most of us spend our lives "worrying more about taut stomachs than about healthy aging" and care more "about society's expectations than our own personal growth." But the women who contributed to this collection show us that it is possible to face our imperfections and confront the daunting prospect of aging in a culture that places a high premium on youth. "It's a new experience, living in a body that feels old," writes Joy Price in "Making Love and Joy in Seasoned Bodies." "My body surprises me every day: What parts will and won't work today?"
And yes, we are asked to own up to death. One of my favorites, "Death Becomes Her," begins with the Monty Python line, "Cake? or Death?" In it, Louisa Ermelino writes about the nearly simultaneous deaths of her mother and her husband. How does a daughter, a wife, live through something so impossible, so terrible? With grace, with compassion, with humor, with love. At the end, Ermelino writes: "I have a vision. My mother is at the stove; my husband is at the kitchen table. The sun is coming in the window. She is making him something to eat. Cake, please..."
Several of the writers had to confront the terrifying prospect of their own deaths. "One of the hardest things about having cancer was leaving the old me at the border, the innocent, healthy me, eater of broccoli and tofu, and facing my own mortality." That's Barbara Abercrombie in "The Best Birthday of All." And then there's Margot Beth Duxler, who learns (in "Impossible Geometry") that she has a tumor on her heart. "No, actually," her doctor corrects her as she wrestles with the news, "it's in your heart."
I wish that every woman could read and take to heart each of the stories in this anthology. It is a rare collection, uncompromisingly honest, ruthlessly real, uncomfortably raw, yet warmed with a very human compassion and brightened by the triumphs, small and large, that make each of these writers a heroine in her own right.
May 31, 2009
Victoria Zackheim's anthology For Keeps is a collection of essays by twenty-seven women about coming to acceptance of their bodies. Many of the authors write about learning to live with illness, chronic pain or physical disability. Some tell us about eating disorders. One of my favorite novelists, Elizabeth Rosner, writes about her experience as an artist's model, casting an interesting light on her second novel, Blue Nude.
Though I read this book to look at Zackheim as an editor, I was very much taken by the subject matter of the essays and their theme of women accepting their bodies. Though some of the pieces were better written than others, the book as a whole made a strong impression on me. I'd recommend it not just to most women, but to anyone thinking about body image and body acceptance.
Though I read this book to look at Zackheim as an editor, I was very much taken by the subject matter of the essays and their theme of women accepting their bodies. Though some of the pieces were better written than others, the book as a whole made a strong impression on me. I'd recommend it not just to most women, but to anyone thinking about body image and body acceptance.
April 1, 2018
These essays are not really what I expected, which was various women talking about how they experienced getting older. Instead there are essays about getting ill, about dysfunctional families, about sports injuries. And the writing is uneven: some is professional quality, and some little better than amateur. Still all the women are past a "certain age" and that gives some perspective: into not being young, losing parents, a spouse, a way of life.
July 14, 2024
Some of the stories had very unique perspectives and experiences that I really enjoyed learning about. However none of the writing was particularly compelling? Not content wise but like quality of writing. Also i felt the theme was too broad. There were one or two essays that I felt just missed the theme entirely and overall would’ve appreciated them being a lil more cohesive.
January 22, 2008
This collection is so relevant that I'm pining for a sequel, or perhaps a series (paging Victoria Zackheim and Seal Press). Each essay is more personal and revelatory than the one that precedes it, and the body/mind conflict issues are explored beautifully. The book was launched amidst a literary mini-trend that explores women's relationships with their aging selves (see GOING GRAY by Anne Kreamer, 60 ON UP by the indefatigable Lillian Rubin, TALES OF GRACEFUL AGING by Nicole Hollander and, of course, I FEEL BAD ABOUT MY NECK by Nora Ephron).
I enjoyed each entry, but was particularly fond of "Death Becomes Her" in which author Louisa Ermelino gracefully confronts the death of her mother and husband in close succession, "Belly Wounds" by Caroline Leavitt, looking at the physical and emotional effects of sudden illness and the peace that comes from eventually accepting the changes. "My Mother's Body Image, My Self" by Sara Nelson dives into the murky waters of body concept as a biproduct of maternal attitudes. At the end of this essay, Nelson recounts a visit with her ailing and now overweight mother: "As I was wheeling her into a movie theater yesterday, I had to squeeze myself in between her chair and the wall. As we settled in, she turned and looked back at me. 'It's a good thing you're so thin,' she said." Nelson continues, "Will it surprise you to hear that that one little comment made my whole day?"
In her introduction, Zackheim writes, "Too many of us go through life worrying more about taut stomachs than about healthy aging; we fret more about society's expectations than our own personal growth." I think there's something here that will resonate for every woman as we continue to grow and face the changes that will inevitably come our way.
I enjoyed each entry, but was particularly fond of "Death Becomes Her" in which author Louisa Ermelino gracefully confronts the death of her mother and husband in close succession, "Belly Wounds" by Caroline Leavitt, looking at the physical and emotional effects of sudden illness and the peace that comes from eventually accepting the changes. "My Mother's Body Image, My Self" by Sara Nelson dives into the murky waters of body concept as a biproduct of maternal attitudes. At the end of this essay, Nelson recounts a visit with her ailing and now overweight mother: "As I was wheeling her into a movie theater yesterday, I had to squeeze myself in between her chair and the wall. As we settled in, she turned and looked back at me. 'It's a good thing you're so thin,' she said." Nelson continues, "Will it surprise you to hear that that one little comment made my whole day?"
In her introduction, Zackheim writes, "Too many of us go through life worrying more about taut stomachs than about healthy aging; we fret more about society's expectations than our own personal growth." I think there's something here that will resonate for every woman as we continue to grow and face the changes that will inevitably come our way.
December 31, 2007
I loved this collection. The essays are painfully honest, well-written, but most of all moving and relevant. They will stay with me for some time.
This is the second anthology I've read by Victoria Zackheim -- the other is The Other Woman -- and both are excellent.
This is the second anthology I've read by Victoria Zackheim -- the other is The Other Woman -- and both are excellent.
March 8, 2013
Anthologies are always tricky for me. I’ll choose the book for the subject matter and like that I can read a chapter, put the book down for a while and not miss the through-line. But it’s still all about good storytelling. This book has a nice variety of stories, many well told and engaging. Closer to 3-1/2 stars.
June 19, 2008
In reading this book I had several ahhhhh moments. Accepting that it takes strength and perseverance to carry on with life. Susan Wittig Albert writes a wonderful review - the main reason I even picked this up to read!
November 8, 2008
Many women contributed essays for this book. They dealt with body image and how we live in our bodies especially as we age. I was touched by many of the essays and really appreciated hearing others perceptions. Their stories resonated with me.
January 20, 2009
Every day we get older and our bodies and skin get older. It's just nice to know I am not alone! Somehow, we never think we will get older- just other people! But it will happen to you, too, my pretty!!!!
January 17, 2015
Interesting collection of essays from women reflecting on their bodies. Insight was given into aging, illness, acceptance of self. I enjoyed some essays more than the others, but overall they were good!
February 26, 2008
Interesting book about women and the decline of their bodies due to illness, weight loss. It's short stories about body acceptance.
August 15, 2008
I like most books. again, I liked this book. I thought most of the women were very brave to write these honest stories about themselves, every honest stories...
I don't know that I could have...
I don't know that I could have...
September 1, 2013
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Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews