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288 pages, Paperback
First published February 3, 2011
In Mexico there are at least seven million, and worldwide many more. They are young people with no future, or, if they have one, it is hopeless, bleak, and shameful. This is a generation marked by disappointment. They are now called the "Ninis," and previously were the "emos" and generation X.
In Tunisia, the young people who helped bring down a dictator are called hittistes—French-Arabic slang for those who lean against the wall. Their counterparts in Egypt, who on Feb. 1 forced President Hosni Mubarak to say he won't seek reelection, are the shabab atileen, unemployed youths. The hittistes and shabab have brothers and sisters across the globe. In Britain, they are NEETs—"not in education, employment, or training." In Japan, they are freeters: an amalgam of the English word freelance and the German word Arbeiter, or worker. Spaniards call them mileuristas, meaning they earn no more than 1,000 euros a month. In the U.S., they're "boomerang" kids who move back home after college because they can't find work. Even fast-growing China, where labor shortages are more common than surpluses, has its "ant tribe"—recent college graduates who crowd together in cheap flats on the fringes of big cities because they can't find well-paying work.
The little building looks both dead and drunk, unused, and at least two hundred years old. Around the corner, next to a permanent mound of fresh garbage and behind a metal grate, with no sign and no fixed name, sits our spot. It is just one room big and the bathroom is revolting. Nothing decorates the walls but a sticky film best left uninvestigated. Roaches the size of small rodents sometimes amble across the tile floor, giving me the frightening impression that they have large and complex brains. Old prostitutes, gangly old gay men, transvestites or transgendered ladies with saggy chins, gangsters, women with only a few precious bits of teeth hanging from their gums, dealers—it’s their spot, too. We get to know the “owners” and become quite acquainted with the running melodramas of the place.
One day a roommate brought a friend over to our apartment. The friend was a young, redheaded, blue-eyed native of Mexico City, dressed like a gutter punk, who was “hanging around” California. I told the young Mexican girl my parents were Mexican and that I was born in San Diego, that we’re from Tijuana. “But you’re not really Mexican,” the girl responded. I was not? Until then I had always been under the impression that the world perceived me as Mexican, like it or not. I felt Mexican—stuck between a dominant American culture that shunned the “Mexican” within its society, and contemporary Mexicans back in Mexico who found it so easy to dismiss our mixed heritage as somehow unrelated to theirs. Around that time films such as Amores Perros and Y Tu Mamá También were opening up radically new conceptions of Mexican life for people north of the border. The same should have been true in the opposite direction. But no. As a Mexican American, born in gringo territory, I was still excluded from the national narrative in Mexico.
You can see it in other designers here as well. they are merging the global with the local, applying the austere lines and geometries of international couture with the playfulness and surreal qualities of everyday life in Mexico. They are also disciples of the power of androgyny. Among independent young labels, garments are offered as unisex, expressing in a simple article of clothing a belief in the idea that the male and female exist equally within the self.
Our turn is coming up, causing a new anxiety to rise in my throat. When it's my turn to approach the security window, the final barrier between me and my country's bureaucrats, I have to decide, will I speak to the pretty receptionist lady in Spanish or in English? This is the American embassy, but I am in Mexico. Our row is called up. Panic sets [in]. The receptionist, who appears to be Mexican, calmly and politely deals with the people in line ahead of me in clean Spanish, a reassuring sign. A series of possible sentences in both languages scroll[s] quickly through my head. I want to appear as cool and collected as possible before this first-responding emissary of the United States of America.
And under that, of course, I feel a wave of self-loathing. As Americans, have we grown accustomed to fearing our own government? Even with nothing to hide, we cower before our bureaucrats, our own employees. The thoughts roll through my head as I try suppressing a darker sort of fear. It is that feeling I get in the moments before I approach the United States as a pedestrian at the border between Tijuana and San Ysidro. The wild, pitted fear that just this time, out of so many hundreds throughout my life, something could go inexplicably wrong, and a pack of men in black will silently march at me and I will be disappeared forever into the monster-machine of the U.S. government.
My turn. Behind the heavy glass, the receptionist smiles at me brightly and asks what sort of business I hope to attend to at the U.S. embassy. It is all happening so fast. I hand over my expiring passport and blurt nervously, "Es que tengo que hacer renew mi pasaporte."
It rolls down my brain and off my tongue without warning, as Spanglish as me, as California as me, perfectly incorrect on multiple levels: "Es que tengo que hacer renew mi pasaporte." (216-7)