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Peace from Broken Pieces: How to Get Through What You're Going Through
How do you find your way through the broken pieces and the pain to peace? In this honest and searching book, New York Times best-selling author Iyanla Vanzant recounts the last decade of her profoundly human journey and shares her own hard lessons to inspire you to put your personal puzzle back together. Part metaphorical teaching story, part wrenching personal chronicle, this phoenix-rising-from-the-ashes tale is about men and money, love and work, mothers and daughters, life and death, and the patterns and pathologies that families pass down through the generations—until someone gets clear enough to break the pattern and pave the way to healing. Discover why everything you need to learn is reflected in your relationships; gain a new perspective on personal power, spiritual purpose, and karma; and recognize that it is possible to make your broken pieces whole.
340 pages, Kindle Edition
First published September 15, 2010
683 people are currently reading
3764 people want to read
About the author
Iyanla Vanzant
141 books1,300 followersIn Peace From Broken Pieces New York Times best-selling author Iyanla Vanzant she recounts the last decade of her life and the spiritual lessons learnedfrom the price of success during her meteoric rise as a TV celebrity on Oprah, the Iyanla TV show (produced by Barbara Walters), to the dissolution of her marriage and her daughters 15 months of illness and death on Christmas day. Like a phoenix rising from the ashes, Iyanla shares why everything we need to learn is reflected in our relationships and the strength and wisdom she has gained by supporting others in their journeys to make sense out of the puzzle pieces of their lives.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 350 reviews
June 29, 2020
*I get a lot of comments regarding this review. I delete them all, so don't bother writing one and trying to debate me about Iyanla Vanzant. I find her entertaining and probably even well-meaning, but I stand by what I wrote 8 years ago. She wants a check. Who doesn't?! I just prefer when people are honest about it. I deleted one line of the original review regarding Vanzant's childhood rape. I rather not comment on it at all. If you love Iyanla Vanzant and aren't open to any criticism of your fave that is perfectly okay. It's also perfectly okay, that I am not a fan and did not enjoy this book.*
Perhaps I am in the wrong mental state to fully appreciate this book, but I thought it was awful. I appreciate how honest Vanzant is about her life and the scenes surrounding her daughter's death brought me to tears. The rest of the book just seemed like a never ending saga of drama and Vanzant playing the victim. We all have flaws and the bible is filled with flawed characters that God used to teach and lead his people, but some of Vanzant's flaws are quite scary considering her age and experience. I was taken aback when she wrote that she spent the first 50 years of her life insane. That is quite a statement coming from a woman who made her living from being a spiritual healer and a Priestess. I was done when she wrote about not paying taxes for a year because she didn't think she had to and wound up on a payment plan with the IRS to the tune of 30k a month. This woman lost the majority of her money for such a silly reason and at that point she was well in to her 40's, I believe. I won't use this review as a platform to rip this author. Obviously, she has been through enough and she goes on and on about being a bad mother, not believing her own hype, marrying a cheater, etc. I don't need to add anything else to it. I will say that women really need to find a grain of happiness and hold on tight to it. Vanzant needs to stop blaming men and her absent father for all of her mistakes. At some point you have to pick up the pieces, dust yourself off and keep it moving. It does not sound like she has found peace. It sounds like she is in need of cash and trying to get herself back out there. I am not mad at the sister, but this book was totally depressing and really put a damper on my good mood.
Perhaps I am in the wrong mental state to fully appreciate this book, but I thought it was awful. I appreciate how honest Vanzant is about her life and the scenes surrounding her daughter's death brought me to tears. The rest of the book just seemed like a never ending saga of drama and Vanzant playing the victim. We all have flaws and the bible is filled with flawed characters that God used to teach and lead his people, but some of Vanzant's flaws are quite scary considering her age and experience. I was taken aback when she wrote that she spent the first 50 years of her life insane. That is quite a statement coming from a woman who made her living from being a spiritual healer and a Priestess. I was done when she wrote about not paying taxes for a year because she didn't think she had to and wound up on a payment plan with the IRS to the tune of 30k a month. This woman lost the majority of her money for such a silly reason and at that point she was well in to her 40's, I believe. I won't use this review as a platform to rip this author. Obviously, she has been through enough and she goes on and on about being a bad mother, not believing her own hype, marrying a cheater, etc. I don't need to add anything else to it. I will say that women really need to find a grain of happiness and hold on tight to it. Vanzant needs to stop blaming men and her absent father for all of her mistakes. At some point you have to pick up the pieces, dust yourself off and keep it moving. It does not sound like she has found peace. It sounds like she is in need of cash and trying to get herself back out there. I am not mad at the sister, but this book was totally depressing and really put a damper on my good mood.
October 25, 2011
I remember reading Ayelet Waldman's GOOD-BAD MOTHER and being in complete and utter awe of her honesty. In my view, she made a slow, naked walk in public look easy. I had a similar experience while (listening) to PEACE FROM BROKEN PIECES in the sense that Vanzant also translates harrowing life experiences into achingly honest and beautiful prose but she takes it further. Vanzant has clearly spent the time to distill the lessons of her life and how to consciously try to make different choices, or as she might say, how to change pathology. I wept, laughed, and sometimes I just turned off my Kindle to quietly process what she has been through and what I can take from her lessons as a wife, daughter, sister and most of all, as a parent of two beautiful girls. Listening to Vanzant talk about laying her child to rest was one of the most heart-wrenching things I have ever heard. There is a lot of wisdom here, the kind of wisdom that comes from descending into hell and climbing, one step at a time, your way back out. This is not easy or light reading but it's the kind of honest, raw, truth-telling that stays with you and inspires change. What sticks with me most, after listening to all 11 hours of this audio book is how Iyanla seems on the other side of the chaos, pain and grief of her early life and yet she writes in the present, recognizing how living is a moment-by-monent experience and she seems put on this earth to remind us, that help is always one prayer away.
March 8, 2011
Oh, how I wanted to love this book!!!! Because ever since Starting Over, I have loved Iyanla Vanzant. With in the pages there are some pearls of wisdom. But as a memior, I felt as if I had been dragged through depression and disfuntion. I try really hard to not stay in my story. We all have stories and the longer we stay in them the worse life seems...It happened there is nothing we can do....I love the saying ' Let Go or Be Dragged....Let go you lovely loving wonderful lady...If you were here I would hug you.....
May 11, 2011
Kind of like a follow-up to "Yesterday, I Cried," where the author uses her personal experiences to impart wisdom to her readers. I'm a huge Iyanla fan, and this was a good book -- I'm just really sorry she had to go through so much unpleasantness and upheaval in her personal life. She is searingly honest about it. The book is cleverly structured; it's really an examination of the experience and impact of the death of her daughter to cancer, but the first half is like a prologue laying the foundation so the reader will understand clearly why she had the reactions she did.
January 9, 2012
The first time I saw Iyanla Vanzant she appeared on Oprah during the Farewell Season. She was very interesting to me and I immediately placed on my "to read" list her book Peace from Broken Pieces.
I have never heard of Iyanla, nor have I read any of her books.
After reading Peace from Broken Pieces I cannot imagine turning to her to read a book about really anything.
While I was interested in her life story, I felt she was disorganized in the presentation to the reader. I had to wade through a lot of empty repetitive writing to find my story. I dismissed everything she had to offer in other areas because in my opinion she had little experience in her preachings. I felt she was a fraud.
I am cheering Iyanla on because she had beat herself up enough in her lifetime. It appeared at one point Iyanla did have access to Dr. Phil and I wish she would have turned to him for private help. I think he could have helped her tremendously.
I "got" what Vanzants life had been all about; patterns followed that did nothing to meet her needs. I did not appreciate the reference to her being insane for the first 50 years of her life. I think there were much better ways of describing herself to the reader.
I appreciated Iyanla's honesty in her writing. Not many people are willing to go to the depths that she did.
I have different thoughts on Bill Geddie. I hope by now he knows he can respect a person without liking them. I really felt bad for Iyanla and her entire experience with Buena Vista.
Since I have recently had the experience of sitting with my mother as she suffered from pancreatic cancer, Iyanla's experience hit pretty close to home. I was very down after reading this book. I did not pick up tips on "How to Get Through What You're Going Through" but I did find Iyanla's life interesting.
I hope writing the book earned her some cash and helped her to go forward with a new spring in her step. She needs to once and for all break her negative family patterns and enjoy what life does have to offer her.
I have never heard of Iyanla, nor have I read any of her books.
After reading Peace from Broken Pieces I cannot imagine turning to her to read a book about really anything.
While I was interested in her life story, I felt she was disorganized in the presentation to the reader. I had to wade through a lot of empty repetitive writing to find my story. I dismissed everything she had to offer in other areas because in my opinion she had little experience in her preachings. I felt she was a fraud.
I am cheering Iyanla on because she had beat herself up enough in her lifetime. It appeared at one point Iyanla did have access to Dr. Phil and I wish she would have turned to him for private help. I think he could have helped her tremendously.
I "got" what Vanzants life had been all about; patterns followed that did nothing to meet her needs. I did not appreciate the reference to her being insane for the first 50 years of her life. I think there were much better ways of describing herself to the reader.
I appreciated Iyanla's honesty in her writing. Not many people are willing to go to the depths that she did.
I have different thoughts on Bill Geddie. I hope by now he knows he can respect a person without liking them. I really felt bad for Iyanla and her entire experience with Buena Vista.
Since I have recently had the experience of sitting with my mother as she suffered from pancreatic cancer, Iyanla's experience hit pretty close to home. I was very down after reading this book. I did not pick up tips on "How to Get Through What You're Going Through" but I did find Iyanla's life interesting.
I hope writing the book earned her some cash and helped her to go forward with a new spring in her step. She needs to once and for all break her negative family patterns and enjoy what life does have to offer her.
June 24, 2011
I saw Iyanla on Oprah and immediately ordered her book on my Kindle and basically could not put it down until I was done. She is such a powerful person to listen to, the things she said on Oprah just made me go, "Ah ha!" all over the place. Her book was very good, one of the most candid and absolutely raw memoirs I have ever read. This woman lays it ALL out there, she is so blatantly honest about every single moment in her life, but it's not just about that. This book is so much more. She gives us little lessons along the way, real soul lessons that we can actually take in and use. I truly read her book and felt that I had learned something about myself.
It is a compelling read from a woman who once had it all, fame, fortune, a regular appearance on the Oprah Show, and then she lost it all. Everything. She was shaken to the very core of her being, and yes she was even angry at God whom she adored above all else.
The only thing I will say that was a bit confusing was although I totally understand that Iyanla is a woman of God, sometimes I felt like her friends (near the end anyway) kept reassuring her that nothing was her fault. Her marriage ending, her career tanking, etc. That it was the pathology of her DNA that ran through her veins... it felt like, at those moments, that they all were giving her none of the culpability in her life.
An good book for anyone who is searching for meaning and purpose.
It is a compelling read from a woman who once had it all, fame, fortune, a regular appearance on the Oprah Show, and then she lost it all. Everything. She was shaken to the very core of her being, and yes she was even angry at God whom she adored above all else.
The only thing I will say that was a bit confusing was although I totally understand that Iyanla is a woman of God, sometimes I felt like her friends (near the end anyway) kept reassuring her that nothing was her fault. Her marriage ending, her career tanking, etc. That it was the pathology of her DNA that ran through her veins... it felt like, at those moments, that they all were giving her none of the culpability in her life.
An good book for anyone who is searching for meaning and purpose.
March 12, 2011
I am so Blessed to have found this book, I started crying the first 5 chapters. I lived in the projects and was on welfare, only for 9 mos but I still felt the pains of a system that showed you rejection at every turn. I have gone through some of the same tragedies as a child. My mother is mentally disabled, my father was murdered when I was 12. I was raised by an abusive grandmother, where my little sister was the welcomed child and I was the child that got punished for everything, beating with extension cords and everything else. I would also hid and be invisible, I would clean the house just so she would leave me alone. I feel her pain when she talks about dealings with men. My father abused my mother before the divorce and I for a while was drawn to the wrong types of men. I had to leave my home town and start fresh in order to be successful. I am back in college now, I am a Supervisor at the Post office and my son is graduating college this year. I have broken the cycle in every way.
October 3, 2012
Ms. Vanzant mentions that this is her story. It takes us through her darkest days, triumphs, downfalls and her road to personal growth and healing. It is not a direct self help book. The book offers the reader spiritual encouragement based on her life experiences (which she goes into in admirable detail, with prayers and quotes along the way) in hopes of bringing awareness to our own spirituality.
My favorite quote from the book is "I've learned we all get exactly what we need, when we need it,in order to learn what God intends for us to know so we can be who God intends for us to be". " God can and will do in you, through you, and for you everything that is required, at just the right time, in the perfect way.
My favorite prayer from the book is " Dear God: Please untie the nots, All of the can nots, should nots, may nots and have nots. Please erase from my mind the thoughts that I am not good enough".
My favorite quote from the book is "I've learned we all get exactly what we need, when we need it,in order to learn what God intends for us to know so we can be who God intends for us to be". " God can and will do in you, through you, and for you everything that is required, at just the right time, in the perfect way.
My favorite prayer from the book is " Dear God: Please untie the nots, All of the can nots, should nots, may nots and have nots. Please erase from my mind the thoughts that I am not good enough".
October 2, 2013
I'm in a book club. I did not choose this book. Not one for watching TV, this was my first exposure to Iyanla Vanzant. I was not impressed! Maybe hearing her talk on talk shows is the secret rather than reading about her life in a book, because all I got out of it is that she is a phony! What she preaches to others is not how she even lives her own life. Phony! Why follow a supposedly expert's advice when they don't even walk that way in their own life? Phony! I personally don't want to take advice from someone is who messed up in their own personal lives.
Did she write this book because she was in desperate need of money yet again? I do commend her for doing so, because it opened up a whole can of worms of her leading a false life. It could had done nothing to help her with her career because it exposes her to her own bad relationships in her personal life. I also commend her for doing so, because it couldn't had been easy, not all at.
I have been told her by friends that she is a wonderful inspirational speaker in helping broken relationships, but how can you give advice when you don't have the same skills in your own relationships with your parents, husbands, or children? What I got out of her relationships is that she is a control freak and feels a need to control everyone around her.
Her life is one tragic episode after another starting from day one in childhood into adulthood. I was in shock, in disbelief that someone could have such tragic story after story and wondered how much can one person endure and suffer? It was heartbreaking and I cried. But, to be well into adulthood and continually blame her father, her grandmother, her mother is tiring and unfair. There comes a point when you have to say what happened in the past was in the past, it's time to move on and make a change. Yes, she says this many times, but she has a terrible habit of messing up over and over again, making one foolish decision after another, and it's ends up being the same pattern that she doesn't seem to see.
There were a few ahaaa moments, but very few. Her story really frustrated me. I was not a believer in God speaking to her and having actual conversations with her. I thought it was more like it was her voices telling her what to do rather than God's, because it was never the best advice, and it always fell apart. It was more of what was good for Iyanla at the time and then finding out it wasn't good at all.
In Chapter 5, when she was talking about the "soul", it came out of nowhere and I thought it was all just crazy talk. That did it for me. "I think it is because children hold on to some memory of what they heard God whisper into their souls". She goes on to say "souls have assignments and lessons". Even her husband tells her "you are not the only that the spirt speaks to, you know?" For her to reply "I am not doubting you, but I know that when the Holy Spirit is working, everything that is given to everyone involved lines up, and what you are saying to me does not line up with what I have been given". That makes me suspcious". It's because Iyanla, it's your inner voice telling you what to do, because it is what is good for YOU at that moment and yet again it ends up being another bad judgement on your part and not the Holy Spirit's talking to you as you claim.
By Chapter 10, I was really done with the book. I didn't want to pick it up anymore. I couldn't take reading more of her foolishness and her pretending to be one with God, while she was messing up her life yet again.
She didn't convince me ever that she was a better mother than her own or that she was a dedicated mother. I think she put her children on the back burner while her wants and everyone else's around her were the priority.
What exactly happened to her son that he went to jail for? It was never explained. There was no talk about her oldest daughter either. This book centered around Iyanla's and Gemma's lives. If I was her other two children and read this book, I would had been a mess. She makes it very clear that she favors her middle child.
The time she lost her jobs with Oprah & Barbara Walters, she ended up losing her rental home too. She is unable to find a place to live even though she was looking for months, and ended up living in a hotel room with her spouse, Gemma, her man & their son. "I was still the only one working full time, and sharing a hotel room with a 6 year old was wrecking havoc on our sex life". To only find out it was 2 weeks. Really? 2 weeks without sex and she describes it as "wrecking havoc on their sex life?" Oh gosh, I would understand more if it was months, but only 2 weeks, gasp!!! She has a tendency of contradicting herself a lot. That same time period, she tells Gemma it's about time she moves out on her own since she is 25, an adult and a mother. Even though Iyanla has been unable to find a place for months, Gemma finds a "beautiful apartment" within 4 days, but then to only move in with her daughter and family for 4 months. I thought what the heck? My mouth gapped open at that!
It seems I'm not the only one that felt she is phony because Gemma tells her and this quote is from her husband, "you aren't practicing what you are preaching" to turn around and admit to herself that "the voice I had accepted as Divine Guidance was actually the voice of my ego leading me right into destruction." You think?
I just thought she was so self centered because even when her daughter is diagnosed with cancer, Iyanla feels it's God punishing her for all the wrong she has done in her lifetime. "I just needed to know how was I responsbible for Gemma having cancer". Does this sound like a spiritual leader to you? Do you think God seriously works that way woman?
She always needs to interfere and assuming what people are thinking rather than asking them. Time and time again she does this.
I felt towards the end in Chapter 19, she was finally coming to terms with turning her life around, but then blows it in the next paragraph. Chapter 20 when she is praying and all of a sudden she's having a conversation with a woman's voice (which I presume is her dead daughter Gemma) is just too weird for me to take seriously. She has this happen (conversations) numerous times through the book. How many times must the reader be convinced she is going to turn her life around? I stopped believing many chapters before. She claims she is "finally ready to have a real relationship with myself, where I could stand on my own two feet without hidden agendas or needs that I did not put on the table..." Whatever Iyanla, whatever, I have lost my faith in you Iyanla. I am far from convinced that she had ever found any peace from the many broken pieces. I think she is far from healing. I think she wrote this book for the money.
Did she write this book because she was in desperate need of money yet again? I do commend her for doing so, because it opened up a whole can of worms of her leading a false life. It could had done nothing to help her with her career because it exposes her to her own bad relationships in her personal life. I also commend her for doing so, because it couldn't had been easy, not all at.
I have been told her by friends that she is a wonderful inspirational speaker in helping broken relationships, but how can you give advice when you don't have the same skills in your own relationships with your parents, husbands, or children? What I got out of her relationships is that she is a control freak and feels a need to control everyone around her.
Her life is one tragic episode after another starting from day one in childhood into adulthood. I was in shock, in disbelief that someone could have such tragic story after story and wondered how much can one person endure and suffer? It was heartbreaking and I cried. But, to be well into adulthood and continually blame her father, her grandmother, her mother is tiring and unfair. There comes a point when you have to say what happened in the past was in the past, it's time to move on and make a change. Yes, she says this many times, but she has a terrible habit of messing up over and over again, making one foolish decision after another, and it's ends up being the same pattern that she doesn't seem to see.
There were a few ahaaa moments, but very few. Her story really frustrated me. I was not a believer in God speaking to her and having actual conversations with her. I thought it was more like it was her voices telling her what to do rather than God's, because it was never the best advice, and it always fell apart. It was more of what was good for Iyanla at the time and then finding out it wasn't good at all.
In Chapter 5, when she was talking about the "soul", it came out of nowhere and I thought it was all just crazy talk. That did it for me. "I think it is because children hold on to some memory of what they heard God whisper into their souls". She goes on to say "souls have assignments and lessons". Even her husband tells her "you are not the only that the spirt speaks to, you know?" For her to reply "I am not doubting you, but I know that when the Holy Spirit is working, everything that is given to everyone involved lines up, and what you are saying to me does not line up with what I have been given". That makes me suspcious". It's because Iyanla, it's your inner voice telling you what to do, because it is what is good for YOU at that moment and yet again it ends up being another bad judgement on your part and not the Holy Spirit's talking to you as you claim.
By Chapter 10, I was really done with the book. I didn't want to pick it up anymore. I couldn't take reading more of her foolishness and her pretending to be one with God, while she was messing up her life yet again.
She didn't convince me ever that she was a better mother than her own or that she was a dedicated mother. I think she put her children on the back burner while her wants and everyone else's around her were the priority.
What exactly happened to her son that he went to jail for? It was never explained. There was no talk about her oldest daughter either. This book centered around Iyanla's and Gemma's lives. If I was her other two children and read this book, I would had been a mess. She makes it very clear that she favors her middle child.
The time she lost her jobs with Oprah & Barbara Walters, she ended up losing her rental home too. She is unable to find a place to live even though she was looking for months, and ended up living in a hotel room with her spouse, Gemma, her man & their son. "I was still the only one working full time, and sharing a hotel room with a 6 year old was wrecking havoc on our sex life". To only find out it was 2 weeks. Really? 2 weeks without sex and she describes it as "wrecking havoc on their sex life?" Oh gosh, I would understand more if it was months, but only 2 weeks, gasp!!! She has a tendency of contradicting herself a lot. That same time period, she tells Gemma it's about time she moves out on her own since she is 25, an adult and a mother. Even though Iyanla has been unable to find a place for months, Gemma finds a "beautiful apartment" within 4 days, but then to only move in with her daughter and family for 4 months. I thought what the heck? My mouth gapped open at that!
It seems I'm not the only one that felt she is phony because Gemma tells her and this quote is from her husband, "you aren't practicing what you are preaching" to turn around and admit to herself that "the voice I had accepted as Divine Guidance was actually the voice of my ego leading me right into destruction." You think?
I just thought she was so self centered because even when her daughter is diagnosed with cancer, Iyanla feels it's God punishing her for all the wrong she has done in her lifetime. "I just needed to know how was I responsbible for Gemma having cancer". Does this sound like a spiritual leader to you? Do you think God seriously works that way woman?
She always needs to interfere and assuming what people are thinking rather than asking them. Time and time again she does this.
I felt towards the end in Chapter 19, she was finally coming to terms with turning her life around, but then blows it in the next paragraph. Chapter 20 when she is praying and all of a sudden she's having a conversation with a woman's voice (which I presume is her dead daughter Gemma) is just too weird for me to take seriously. She has this happen (conversations) numerous times through the book. How many times must the reader be convinced she is going to turn her life around? I stopped believing many chapters before. She claims she is "finally ready to have a real relationship with myself, where I could stand on my own two feet without hidden agendas or needs that I did not put on the table..." Whatever Iyanla, whatever, I have lost my faith in you Iyanla. I am far from convinced that she had ever found any peace from the many broken pieces. I think she is far from healing. I think she wrote this book for the money.
February 4, 2014
If you have ever watched Oprah Winfrey Network’s Super Soul Sundays, there is one woman you just cannot miss out. She is Iyanla Vanzant. Apart from Iyanla: Fix my life, two of her most poignant episodes were: Daddyless daughters and Fatherless sons. In the episodes she poignantly helps men and women without a father figure in their life and to deal with the empty space a parent leaves behind. However behind the wise stories that she has today which helped and transformed thousands of lives, lie life lessons she learnt in her journey to heal and grow. And those lessons were not easy. This is what she writes in her book, “Peace from broken pieces.”
What does one do when you realize 30 years later in your own academy that your own daughter holds grudges and anger that you being a mother never loved her enough? What does one do when a 37 year old relationship ends in a brutal divorce, adultery being one of the reasons? What does a mother do when she loses her daughter bit by bit to cancer? What does one do when your house is in mortgage and you do not have enough money to find a roof? Iyanla Vanzant learnt about life lessons, of repetition of patterns, of family pathology that runs in our DNA and of God’s master plan to put us where our life work is. This is a book, everyone should read, to find one’s own piece in the puzzle of life and finally end in the path of peace from the broken pieces. It definitely needs courage to see God’s purpose when everything is breaking in one’s life. But she saw it, with courage and might and left inspiration for millions who might go through darks days in life.
Standing in grace she begins the first chapter, “It is often difficult to identify the exact moment that your life falls apart. In most cases, it is not a one-shot deal. If you ask people who have had the experience of losing everything they love or believe in, they will probably say it was not one telephone call or one letter, one revelation or realization that caused the collapse of life as they knew it. I now understand that my life fell apart one piece at a time. Piece by piece; one experience, one situation, and one circumstance at a time, until I found myself standing in the midst of a heap of broken promises, splintered relationships, and shattered dreams. It is not a place I imagined I would find myself again, after I had gotten through it the first and the second times.”
She begins her story as a 3 year old girl who just lost her mother. She was put in care of her paternal grandmother who in her own words was ‘mean as a cat.’ That was when she learnt the wrong messages that there was something terrible wrong in her that made everyone mad at her. From the women around she learnt to make excuses for anything man did. She learnt that men can get away with anything and women need to make excuses for all the wrong done. She made the story about her unworthiness that enhanced her need to be approved. At 13 she goes on to give birth to a child who dies shortly, another part of her trashed, wounded and unrecognized.
Then she mentions her days when she was 26 years old, while riding on a taxi, she just could not bring herself to ask the driver to turn down the air conditioner. It made her shiver because deep down voices told her she was worthless, she was always undeserving and she was never to ask anything. That was one day she realized there was something terribly wrong in her life that needs to be sorted out.
By then two of her relationships has failed. As she realizes later, men who have always refused to honor and respect her were the men she attracted in her life; always. In all these inner turmoil she raises three children. Then goes to law school, but finally realizes that being a lawyer was not what her purpose in life was.
Her pattern with men follows her, men who are emotionally unavailable, and who would not take responsibility for anything. There she talks of family pathology or family patterns; things that run in the family. She, her mother and finally her beautiful daughter Geminia deals with the same kind of men. But finally when it came to her granddaughter Niamoja she could break this pathology and as she writes, ‘teach her how to say no, without an explanation.’
She talks about the days when she was already an acclaimed writer and a motivational speaker. But she talks of a point in her life when no matter how much she was appreciated by the world, the old feeling of unworthiness crept by. It is hard to imagine that a woman whose claim to fame is inspiration to millions had her days of self-doubt and tears. She goes on to talk about her fall with Oprah Winfrey, her failure as a television speaker, her financial difficulties and finally her bringing in people and resources that built her vision of healing people, ‘Inner Vision Foundation.’
This book is an insight on the lessons our souls are designed to learn, on people who come to us so that we can learn and become exactly the way we are meant to be, that is to be whole. This book is about the greatest difficulties in life that might arise in life, even if it meant watching your own daughter die is a perfect plan of the universe for you to grow and heal.
There is one thing that this book can assure; anyone who picks it up will not remain the same person after finishing it. The book is not only about Iyanla Vanzant, it is a universal story of hurts and wounds, of denials and betrayal, lies and truth but above all the light of God that makes us rise all above it and make us shine. You might not go through all that Iyanla Vanzant has been through but in the book there will be a part of you that just lie somewhere that needs to be healed or uncovered. You never know, your life might just take that big leap. Do pick this book this weekend.
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What does one do when you realize 30 years later in your own academy that your own daughter holds grudges and anger that you being a mother never loved her enough? What does one do when a 37 year old relationship ends in a brutal divorce, adultery being one of the reasons? What does a mother do when she loses her daughter bit by bit to cancer? What does one do when your house is in mortgage and you do not have enough money to find a roof? Iyanla Vanzant learnt about life lessons, of repetition of patterns, of family pathology that runs in our DNA and of God’s master plan to put us where our life work is. This is a book, everyone should read, to find one’s own piece in the puzzle of life and finally end in the path of peace from the broken pieces. It definitely needs courage to see God’s purpose when everything is breaking in one’s life. But she saw it, with courage and might and left inspiration for millions who might go through darks days in life.
Standing in grace she begins the first chapter, “It is often difficult to identify the exact moment that your life falls apart. In most cases, it is not a one-shot deal. If you ask people who have had the experience of losing everything they love or believe in, they will probably say it was not one telephone call or one letter, one revelation or realization that caused the collapse of life as they knew it. I now understand that my life fell apart one piece at a time. Piece by piece; one experience, one situation, and one circumstance at a time, until I found myself standing in the midst of a heap of broken promises, splintered relationships, and shattered dreams. It is not a place I imagined I would find myself again, after I had gotten through it the first and the second times.”
She begins her story as a 3 year old girl who just lost her mother. She was put in care of her paternal grandmother who in her own words was ‘mean as a cat.’ That was when she learnt the wrong messages that there was something terrible wrong in her that made everyone mad at her. From the women around she learnt to make excuses for anything man did. She learnt that men can get away with anything and women need to make excuses for all the wrong done. She made the story about her unworthiness that enhanced her need to be approved. At 13 she goes on to give birth to a child who dies shortly, another part of her trashed, wounded and unrecognized.
Then she mentions her days when she was 26 years old, while riding on a taxi, she just could not bring herself to ask the driver to turn down the air conditioner. It made her shiver because deep down voices told her she was worthless, she was always undeserving and she was never to ask anything. That was one day she realized there was something terribly wrong in her life that needs to be sorted out.
By then two of her relationships has failed. As she realizes later, men who have always refused to honor and respect her were the men she attracted in her life; always. In all these inner turmoil she raises three children. Then goes to law school, but finally realizes that being a lawyer was not what her purpose in life was.
Her pattern with men follows her, men who are emotionally unavailable, and who would not take responsibility for anything. There she talks of family pathology or family patterns; things that run in the family. She, her mother and finally her beautiful daughter Geminia deals with the same kind of men. But finally when it came to her granddaughter Niamoja she could break this pathology and as she writes, ‘teach her how to say no, without an explanation.’
She talks about the days when she was already an acclaimed writer and a motivational speaker. But she talks of a point in her life when no matter how much she was appreciated by the world, the old feeling of unworthiness crept by. It is hard to imagine that a woman whose claim to fame is inspiration to millions had her days of self-doubt and tears. She goes on to talk about her fall with Oprah Winfrey, her failure as a television speaker, her financial difficulties and finally her bringing in people and resources that built her vision of healing people, ‘Inner Vision Foundation.’
This book is an insight on the lessons our souls are designed to learn, on people who come to us so that we can learn and become exactly the way we are meant to be, that is to be whole. This book is about the greatest difficulties in life that might arise in life, even if it meant watching your own daughter die is a perfect plan of the universe for you to grow and heal.
There is one thing that this book can assure; anyone who picks it up will not remain the same person after finishing it. The book is not only about Iyanla Vanzant, it is a universal story of hurts and wounds, of denials and betrayal, lies and truth but above all the light of God that makes us rise all above it and make us shine. You might not go through all that Iyanla Vanzant has been through but in the book there will be a part of you that just lie somewhere that needs to be healed or uncovered. You never know, your life might just take that big leap. Do pick this book this weekend.
http://paromitabardoloi.blogspot.in/2...
September 16, 2025
I love Iylana’s books. Her storytelling is amazing. This book was on the heavier side. I shed many tears while reading this book. But it was so captivating from the very beginning. She was so honest and raw. The things that she experienced in her life was filled with so much pain but somehow she pushed through. As a child, so many adults failed her. The pain and grief she went through when she lost her daughter was heartbreaking. Her story was definitely worth reading.
June 2, 2012
Peace from Broken Pieces is Iyanla Vanzant's journey through the darkest days of her life. Her daughter Gemmia was her best friend through all of the dark days.
As the middle child Gemmia tried to be the perfect daughter. She got good grades, never got in trouble and helped raise her brother and sister.
As an adult, Gemmia continued to play her role by helping run her mother's business and becoming her best friend. No matter how hard Gemmia tried to be perfect, her mother didn't really notice her. After stuffing her anger for years and trying to be perfect, Gemmia died from cancer.
Iyanla is devastated at the loss of her daughter. After reading Gemmia's journals from the past ten years, Iyanla tries to come to terms with her role in her daughter's illness and in the lessons she passed on to her about love. Iyanla realizes that she has unconsciously passed on the dysfunctional family dynamics that she had vowed to change for her children. After realizing the part she played in Gemmia's death, she begins to start over and change the dynamics for her grandchildren.
I liked this book, although it wasn't what I was expecting. I thought it would start with her story and then move into a self-help book to help others through their broken pieces. She did give bits and pieces of advice, but most of the book was her story. Although I had just finished a book about the early parts of her life, I still enjoyed learning more about her current life. I recommend this book if you like Iyanla or biographies.
As the middle child Gemmia tried to be the perfect daughter. She got good grades, never got in trouble and helped raise her brother and sister.
As an adult, Gemmia continued to play her role by helping run her mother's business and becoming her best friend. No matter how hard Gemmia tried to be perfect, her mother didn't really notice her. After stuffing her anger for years and trying to be perfect, Gemmia died from cancer.
Iyanla is devastated at the loss of her daughter. After reading Gemmia's journals from the past ten years, Iyanla tries to come to terms with her role in her daughter's illness and in the lessons she passed on to her about love. Iyanla realizes that she has unconsciously passed on the dysfunctional family dynamics that she had vowed to change for her children. After realizing the part she played in Gemmia's death, she begins to start over and change the dynamics for her grandchildren.
I liked this book, although it wasn't what I was expecting. I thought it would start with her story and then move into a self-help book to help others through their broken pieces. She did give bits and pieces of advice, but most of the book was her story. Although I had just finished a book about the early parts of her life, I still enjoyed learning more about her current life. I recommend this book if you like Iyanla or biographies.
October 6, 2016
In this book, Iyanla shares her tremendously tragic childhood, her many mistakes as a teen and single mother, her rise as an inspirational speaker, her fall from grace after losing her contract with the Oprah show, the disastrous day time show of her own produced by Barbara Walters, and losing her closest daughter to cancer.
This memoir is interesting, but there are parts that are vague and glossed over. Iyanla shares about her final failed marriage but doesn't go in depth about her first two. She also spends much of the last part of the book detailing her daughter's heartbreaking illness and death, but barely speaks at all about her other children. By the end of the book, you have no idea what kind of relationship they share. She is vague about a lot of important things, but maybe that information was included in her prior books. I can't help but to feel that her version of events might be denied by the other parties involved. It's also pretty odd to me that she would publish a memoir without including the motivations behind her current career and how she specifically got started in the business.
Despite all of that, this book is extremely sad. Iyanla has lived a very hard life, with one tragic heartbreak after the other (one would think she'd be a little more empathetic toward the women on her current show on OWN because of it). I commend her for her successes and for sharing such intimate details about her childhood and family.
Those interested in knowing more about this inspirational speaker and mentor should definitely pick this one up.
This memoir is interesting, but there are parts that are vague and glossed over. Iyanla shares about her final failed marriage but doesn't go in depth about her first two. She also spends much of the last part of the book detailing her daughter's heartbreaking illness and death, but barely speaks at all about her other children. By the end of the book, you have no idea what kind of relationship they share. She is vague about a lot of important things, but maybe that information was included in her prior books. I can't help but to feel that her version of events might be denied by the other parties involved. It's also pretty odd to me that she would publish a memoir without including the motivations behind her current career and how she specifically got started in the business.
Despite all of that, this book is extremely sad. Iyanla has lived a very hard life, with one tragic heartbreak after the other (one would think she'd be a little more empathetic toward the women on her current show on OWN because of it). I commend her for her successes and for sharing such intimate details about her childhood and family.
Those interested in knowing more about this inspirational speaker and mentor should definitely pick this one up.
November 8, 2011
I saw Iyanla on Oprah's Lifeclass on OWN last week and decided to read this book after she referred to one of the concepts in it. If you believe in a spiritual world beyond this earth in which souls choose their life here on earth to learn certain lessons in order to heal themselves...than you will enjoy this book. I found her to be believable and her spiritual ideas and concepts to be very interesting. Her life story is heartbreaking. This woman has overcome so much--she's a true warrior of life. I fell in love with her daughter Gemmia and was amazed at her wisdom. Iyanla bares her soul, her emotions, flaws and mistakes. I saw her as a very flawed individual who is striving to grow and become everything she feels God wants her to be. I agreed with a lot of what she had to say--as for the points I didn't fully agree with, she gave me a lot to digest and ponder.
March 25, 2011
Iyanlva Vanzant has written lots of wonderful stuff and I think she is an amazing teacher and speaker, but this book is a disappointing and self-pitying mess. I was so looking forward to this book and I very much like the memoir-as-self help genre but this book just failed for me. There were also grammatical errors, typos and some erroneous information, like Iyanla thinks aids can be spread in a hot tub and had a big fight with her ex husband over this. That was disturbing to read.
Read a different Iyanla book. Or, better yet, watch her on youtube. Her strength is really as a speaker, not a writer.
Read a different Iyanla book. Or, better yet, watch her on youtube. Her strength is really as a speaker, not a writer.
March 10, 2011
I really wanted to love this book. After seeing Ms. Vanzant on Oprah (twice!) last month I tore through this book. For me, it's too repetitive and frustrating. I found myself saying, "Ok, I get it, I get it" more than a few times.
March 20, 2011
I see Iyanla Vanzant pouring her heart out in this book. She shares with her readers the agony and pain suffered has she tried to hold on to her relationship. Although she knew somethings were going on behind her back, she yet tried to survive the relationship.
In chapter 2 "Walking Wounded". I see how hurts from her childhood has now followed her into adulthood. Now she sees herself doing some of the same things she saw or heard that her mother did.
Talking about the need to break generational curses. Iyanla sure does give us blow by blow details. From the hurts of her grandmother, her mother, herself reliving them, and seeing them in her own children. My heart ached within as I read chapter by chapter of her experiences with abuse past down generation after generation.
In Chapter 19- she states " When you are starting your life over, with a new sense of self, who you once were is going to challenge you. Who you once were is going to dangle old carrots, old wounds and issues in front of your face."..I know I am living that right now.
In chapter 2 "Walking Wounded". I see how hurts from her childhood has now followed her into adulthood. Now she sees herself doing some of the same things she saw or heard that her mother did.
Talking about the need to break generational curses. Iyanla sure does give us blow by blow details. From the hurts of her grandmother, her mother, herself reliving them, and seeing them in her own children. My heart ached within as I read chapter by chapter of her experiences with abuse past down generation after generation.
In Chapter 19- she states " When you are starting your life over, with a new sense of self, who you once were is going to challenge you. Who you once were is going to dangle old carrots, old wounds and issues in front of your face."..I know I am living that right now.
May 8, 2015
The subtitle of this book is "How to get through what you're going through", so naturally I assumed that this would be a self-help book on dealing with your own struggle. Instead I found a story about the author's life and what I understand to be how she was processing her own struggles.
I recently lost a very dear friend, but unlike the author I do not have the luxury of retreating to my bed for months in order to heal. I found it rather puzzling that anyone who struggled so much financially would ignore all her financial responsibilities, however I do understand that grief has a way of making everything in your life less of a priority.
So if you are looking for insight as to how to deal with your own challenges, this may not be the book for you. If you are familiar with the author's public life and would like to read her story, if you feel that you can glean wisdom from it, then perhaps you will connect with it more than I did.
I recently lost a very dear friend, but unlike the author I do not have the luxury of retreating to my bed for months in order to heal. I found it rather puzzling that anyone who struggled so much financially would ignore all her financial responsibilities, however I do understand that grief has a way of making everything in your life less of a priority.
So if you are looking for insight as to how to deal with your own challenges, this may not be the book for you. If you are familiar with the author's public life and would like to read her story, if you feel that you can glean wisdom from it, then perhaps you will connect with it more than I did.
November 3, 2011
Peace from Broken Pieces is a book that I needed to read at this particular point in my life. Iyanla Vanzant shares a very personal story about her life in this book. She uses her skill as a spiritual teacher to help the reader navigate through difficult times in a positive manner.
Iyanla shares some very life shattering events in this book. Her daughter's death, her divorce from her husband, the details around relationship with Oprah, her television show and the forclosure on her home. As you make the journey with her, there are valuable lessons that she shares in her make it plain style.
I really enjoyed reading this book. If you need a story that is not only interesting but also uplifting to read, then this is a book you should definitely read.
Iyanla shares some very life shattering events in this book. Her daughter's death, her divorce from her husband, the details around relationship with Oprah, her television show and the forclosure on her home. As you make the journey with her, there are valuable lessons that she shares in her make it plain style.
I really enjoyed reading this book. If you need a story that is not only interesting but also uplifting to read, then this is a book you should definitely read.
October 10, 2012
Iyanla is one of those women who puts my life into perspective. We have had very similar paths; I've had multiple marriages, lost my entire life savings,my home, BUT I have never sat with my adult child and watched him die! Kuddos to her for the strength she gives to us in her ability to write about this and rebound with such courage and hope. Blessings to Iyanla and those who supported her during that gut wrenching, life altering time! God will NOT put more on our plates than we can handle even when we feel our knees buckling beneath the weight of it all! An amazing book that made me cry, made me smile, brought me joy and made the look inside myself at the pathology of my family and what I have brought forward. A must read for every woman who came from a home that was "normal".....
May 31, 2011
Iyanla is an amazing and inspiring woman. I had always wondered what had happened to her. I loved her books in the late 90s/ early 2000s, and had always hoped she would start writing again. This book did not disappoint! Iyanla reveals her story in an incredibly raw, honest, authentic fashion. She really shares her journey with readers; even the painful and very difficult aspects of it. I found myself crying at several points in this book, and feeling a lot of compassion and respect for Iyanla. Through it all she shares her wise and poignant spiritual insights, and I was left feeling encouraged and inspired to continue evolving on my own spiritual journey!
January 12, 2012
After becoming a multimillionaire, having her own television talk show, and writing a number of best sellers, Iyanla One day, as I sat helplessly surveying the broken pieces of my mind, heart, and life, I recognized that a broken life is a test of faith of the highest order."
I like the book, but it was heartbreaking to read about the avoidable and unavoidable tragedies that Iyanla endured simultaneously. Her healing journey--financially, psychologically, and spiritually--was not easy but is inspiring to read about.
I like the book, but it was heartbreaking to read about the avoidable and unavoidable tragedies that Iyanla endured simultaneously. Her healing journey--financially, psychologically, and spiritually--was not easy but is inspiring to read about.
April 14, 2011
This book is a solid read if you're an Iyanla fan, but the book drags in the last third. "Yesterday, I Cried" made an impression on me in the 90s, and this feels like a Where Are They Now? update to that book that runs a bit long. That said, there's inspiration, revelation, and lots to learn from Iyanla's journey. I think there's something powerful about getting to the "top" and realizing there's nothing there...
August 17, 2013
I wanted to love this book. I wanted this book to teach me how to get through what you're going through (as the title suggests). I wanted to get lessons. I got nothing of what I wanted. So the question is, did I want the right things? How can I learn from someone who constantly bemoans her status in life? How can I learn from her own broken pieces when she doesn't mend her own? Thoroughly disappointed.
May 23, 2012
Excellent book. I have a whole new respect for Iyanla Vanzant. So happy she shared her story and explains why she's so good at what she does. Anyone who's going through a valley in their life can relate to this book and see just how people we revere have moments of doubt, sincerity and how they work through those valleys trusting and believing in God that He will bring you through.
December 29, 2010
This is a great book so far! It tells the story of how a woman went from being poor and a teen mother, to being a famous and inspirational speaker. She is truly a great writer!
January 9, 2011
Iyanla Vanzant is one of those people who inspire me. Really looking forward to this book.
April 4, 2011
just ordered from Amazon - so excited!
June 28, 2011
Wow Iyanla has gone through a lot, both before and after her fame. This is an introspective biography. The moral is you keep on keeping and and learn all you can from all that life brings you.
May 3, 2012
very emotional
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