Only Couples Need Apply

by Doris Miles Disney

Two murderers, posing as a married couple, spend a secluded summer in the carriage house apartment of a wealthy, Connecticut widow

Genres: Mystery, Fiction

160 pages, Mass Market Paperback

First published January 1, 1973

Reviews

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Only Couples Need Apply" is the rare case of of a story which is improved by its cover blatantly lying about the contents inside. My copy came emblazoned with the slogan "A story of mystery and romance!"

There is neither mystery, nor romance to be had inside this slim tome (unless you have a vastly different conception of romance that this reader does!). What I expected was the prototypical 1970s gothic romance - what I got was a quick and nasty tale of two serial killers, a sort of Bonnie and Clyde, trying to have a vacation from their dirty deeds and fucking it up beyond all possibility.

Gertrude and Jay, the main characters, make their living setting Gertrude up as a companion to a rich old lady. Gertrude gains their trust (and access to their bank accounts) and then Jay comes in to tie up the loose ends. Their reign of terror comes to an end when Jay decides he's sick of Gertrude telling him what to do, and pulls a little caper of his own.

Any more, of course, would be spoilers, but I suspect this isn't a book you're going to run across in your local bookshop any time soon. It seems Doris Disney was a semi-prolific writer in the mid-century, and this was one of her near to last books. Whether it would be as enjoyable if you already knew the premise, I can't say, but I was pleasantly surprised and entertained.

[Ruth · Rating 4 out of 5]

We open the book to an urban-pastoral scene - a young couple sitting in a diner, enjoying breakfast together, reading the newspaper and looking for an apartment. I can almost hear the bacon and eggs sizzle. But slowly, we find that this unassuming couple is anything but ordinary. They are cold-blooded killers looking for their next victim.

This literary approach was very effective for me, especially since the method of our criminals is to be unobtrusive, earning the trust of their prey and then without emotion, take all their valuables and end their lives. Ms. Disney is a writer that is efficient in her prose and deliberate in her pacing. At only 188 pages in the first edition, there's no room for errors, only the "perfect crimes" of two psychopaths.

Out of print, this book was a great find thanks to my friends over and the Barnes & Noble Mystery Book Clubs. Thankfully, my library has some first edition hardcovers of Doris Miles Disney. I may be checking out more of her stories at some point in the future!

[EThayer3 · Rating 4 out of 5]

A fun, quick read of a book from the 1970's by Doris Miles Disney. I read all her books back then and came across this one a a tag sale. It was for free so I picked it up. Gretchen and Jay are a couple of con artists who have been on a little killing spree across the country. They decide to take the summer off and spend it in Belmont, a small town in northeast Connecticut. One thing I thought I remembered about her mysteries is that the good people didn't die, it was only the bad ones. Maybe I'm remembering it wrong, because the good died in this book. As I'm reading all I can think is that they never could have gotten away with what that did is this day and age with cameras at every exit and entrance of public buildings and at most people's houses, computers, databases, DNA, etc. A satisfying end helped to make this a good read.

[Lynn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jay & Gretchen Addison are con artists moving across the US stealing and killing. Their style seldom changing: find a wealthy women who lived alone wanting a companion –Gretchen would disguise herself as a frumpy live-in companion, gain her confidence & management of her financial affairs ---until it was convenient to call in Jay ---take all the cashables, jewels, kill the victim and travel along. They stop in Connecticut for what they think will be a lazy summers vacation….and, it all starts again!

A quick, easy fast read and yet has unusual twists and turns ---hard to put down! Was good enough that ---since her books are old, not being printed and not in the library ---I’ve been buying them at auctions out on the internet!

[Liz · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had forgotten about Doris Miles Disney’s mysteries! Twenty-five years ago or so, I read many of them. They were a favorite author of my friend Becky’s, and she had a collection of them on her shelves, which I borrowed and enjoyed. I especially remember the interesting titles: Did She Fall or Was She Pushed? and Do Not Fold, Spindle, or Mutilate, rather than the typical “The Case of the….” or “The Mystery of the…” of other authors. Recently, Becky and I were talking about books over emails, and Disney’s name came up, so I decided to read them again. I’m glad I did! This story follows a couple of con artists who change names, stories, and appearances to rob from and murder elderly ladies who have hired the woman as a companion.

[Penny Dobbins · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m a huge fan of Doris Miles Disney and this is one of her best. I stress one of her best because many of her books like “Winifred” are some of the very best stories I’ve ever read. The settings are real, the characters are believable and very much like people you meet every day of the week, the twists are things that the characters should have seen coming so the storyline is just like real life only I can get to the last page, sigh and know I can go on the hunt for another of her wonderful books.