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Ben Cousins: My Life Story
Ben Cousins has one of the most extraordinary stories in modern Australian sport. He's perhaps the most gifted player of his generation - a former captain of the West Coast eagles, a Brownlow medallist, a premiership winner, voted the AFL's Most Valuable Player - but he's best known for what he's done off the footy field rather than on it. Ben is a self-confessed drug addict, whose drug binges would last for days and involve incredible amounts of cocaine, crack and ice. But what's really remarkable about Ben's story is that the two sides of his life - the captaincy, the premierships, the Brownlow, the accolades, and the frenzy and squalor of the drug scene were actually done at the same time, side by side.Ben's book is an account of this double life, and what it's cost him, his family and his friends. It's also an account of his battles to beat his addiction, and his battle to keep playing football - which was his lifeline - against the entrenched opposition of a large number of people in the game. And as if the story is not extraordinary enough, what distinguishes it above all else is the approach Ben's taken to writing it. It is a work of searing emotional and factual honesty. Ben hides nothing, and the result is one of the most remarkable sporting memoirs ever published in Australia.
359 pages, Paperback
First published November 1, 2010
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194 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 57 reviews
December 11, 2012
Reading Cousins' autobiography really allowed me to understand an addicts point of view. His story is extremely eye opening to how many people live every day and after reading this I was able to understand perhaps why and how he found himself where he is. I also found 'My Life Story' very insightful because I've never been particularly interested in footy as a sport and didn't quite understand the footy culture... I now understand the amount of time, sweat and dedication that goes into playing footy at an elite level, and I can now appreciate how disappointing losing a game actually is for the guys. I enjoyed this book and it made me feel a range of emotions.
February 9, 2023
A real “tell all” story of a AFL superstar who really ran off the rails into drug addiction , and later his redemption in life . Tells the stories that most other sportsman leave out of their biographies . Enjoyable read .
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July 29, 2011I'm not a big fan of Mr cousins, and after reading this book, I'm still not his greatest fan.
I do have a better understanding of him though, and at times, can understand why he made some of the choices he did.
I did find at times, that I felt he needed a great swift kick up the arse, and if maybe somebody or some ones, had been more strict in there dealngs with him, he may have turned out a diffrent character. As Ben himself admits, at times, he was allowed to get away with more than he should.
Trouble was, as long as he applied himself, he was able to achieve great things, despite abusing himself with drugs and a paty life style.
Read this book if you want a insight into how a drug addicts mind works, and how twisted their thoughts and reasoning can be, when dealing with their addiction.
On this score, this book is a very good read.
I do have a better understanding of him though, and at times, can understand why he made some of the choices he did.
I did find at times, that I felt he needed a great swift kick up the arse, and if maybe somebody or some ones, had been more strict in there dealngs with him, he may have turned out a diffrent character. As Ben himself admits, at times, he was allowed to get away with more than he should.
Trouble was, as long as he applied himself, he was able to achieve great things, despite abusing himself with drugs and a paty life style.
Read this book if you want a insight into how a drug addicts mind works, and how twisted their thoughts and reasoning can be, when dealing with their addiction.
On this score, this book is a very good read.
December 25, 2018
Awful. Only read about a hundred pages or so and had to stop. Sadly, Cousins refuses to accept any responsibility for the position he has found himself in, instead placing the blame at any number of people/ influences. As a west coast fan I really wanted to enjoy this book but I just couldn’t. Sorry Ben!
January 26, 2025
Ben Cousins’ story is one of the most fascinating and incredible I have ever read. As is typically the story with any successful sports person who battles with addiction, it is one of a double life where he trains and performs to level required by a high level athlete while also enjoying the elicit life of an out of control drug addict. Cousins’ emotional and raw account of his rise to the top of his sport becoming a club captain at his home town west coast eagles, brownlow medalist and premiership champion juxtaposed with his spiralling drug binges is a gripping read. His obsessive nature and attention to detail allowed him the ability to perform to such a level while doing this but it also ended up costing him dearly in terms of his public image, relationships, friends and family. Overall I came away from this book feeling sympathetic for Ben and his ordeal and with a massive respect for his honesty and openness while writing this book. This book would be enjoyed by all sports fans but is a must read for big afl fans, especially those who were following the game while Cousins’ name and reputation was being dragged through the mud. It is written in a n easy-to-read enjoyable manner. The only change I would make would be to perhaps include some personal anecdotes from the people who were around him during the time of his addiction.
August 24, 2016
I’m going to keep my opinion of Ben Cousins to myself. One of the first things people ask me after knowing I’ve read his book is 'so what, now you’re his biggest fan?’ This really annoys me, why do people think that by reading his book I’m somehow going to be brainwashed into his ‘biggest fan’? My point of picking it up was because I wanted to get his side of the story and not just what the media wanted to project onto the public – now there’s brainwashing at its finest!!
As far as the book in general is concerned, I thought it was honest and an easy read. By easy I don’t mean that there weren’t any emotional parts and that I wasn’t affected by some incidents described throughout the book. I don’t know how many times (there were so many) where he would say the words “such a f*ck up” and it would hit home. Knowing that you are screwing up and still not being able to change what you’re doing means that you're in some real trouble!
Yes, there were definitely parts in the book that I do feel Ben fluffed over (is fluffed a word?) but my opinion of that is that the public don’t need to know EVERY LITTLE THING even in Bio’s! And so it didn’t really bother me. This was his chance to have his say and I think for all of those people out there who love to throw judgment at Ben should shut up, pick up his book and maybe then have an opinion.
As far as the book in general is concerned, I thought it was honest and an easy read. By easy I don’t mean that there weren’t any emotional parts and that I wasn’t affected by some incidents described throughout the book. I don’t know how many times (there were so many) where he would say the words “such a f*ck up” and it would hit home. Knowing that you are screwing up and still not being able to change what you’re doing means that you're in some real trouble!
Yes, there were definitely parts in the book that I do feel Ben fluffed over (is fluffed a word?) but my opinion of that is that the public don’t need to know EVERY LITTLE THING even in Bio’s! And so it didn’t really bother me. This was his chance to have his say and I think for all of those people out there who love to throw judgment at Ben should shut up, pick up his book and maybe then have an opinion.
January 25, 2014
This book was written better than I expected. It is amazing to think how damaged someone's mind can be, but then at times it did sound a bit like excuses being made. Obviously he truly needed help, and still does. Overall not a bad read considering I'm not a football fanatic.
July 3, 2016
It's hard to know which bits to believe, but Cuz comes through as a morally-stunted self-justifying turdburger of the highest order.
I still feel sorry for this family.
I still feel sorry for this family.
May 2, 2020
After watching the latest documentary about former West Coast Eagles star, Ben Cousins, a friend recommended I read his autobiography. Written ten years ago in 2010, the autobiography describes Ben Cousins’s early life and his spectacular Australian Football League career.
Arguably the most talented player of his era, the book details every season of Ben’s career and will appeal to footy buffs. But even if you are not a sports fan, there is a lot here to keep the pages turning. The narrative style is light and often humorous and you can hear Ben’s voice coming through on the page.
My son was in primary school when Ben Cousins dominated the footy world and he and his mates idolised him. The most prominent memory I have of Ben Cousins from that time is of him shirtless and handcuffed, being forced into a police car. I could never understand how a hardened drug addict could also be an elite athlete, but Cousins explains this in the book. It was all about timing. Ben had his training and drug taking schedules down to a fine art. He knew when his training was due and he knew how long it would take him to recover from a bender. He explains that his footy training and drug taking worked in tandem as a warped kind of reward and punishment system.
Ben was able to navigate the drug testing because he had the opportunity to plan ahead. And as long as he delivered the goods on game day, neither the authorities nor Ben himself seemed to concern themselves with the long term effects.
Ben got himself in and out of various scrapes but it wasn’t until Christmas of 2005 that things really came undone. Ben “jumped too early,” and mistimed the start of his Boxing Day twister. As a result, he was in a “right state” on Christmas Day and ruined it for the whole family.
By now, the seriousness of Ben’s addictions were becoming obvious and everyone was worried. Even his underworld cronies. There is a very funny part in the book where they pick Ben up to take him on a “fishing trip”. Ben worries that he has done something to offend them and is thinking the worst, but his mobster mates take him aside and give him a good talking to, warning him of the dangers of ice.
There were a couple of half-hearted attempts at rehab in luxurious, overseas facilities. Whisked away at LAX by two mystery blondes in a Mercedes, Ben’s overseas rehab stint ends up in an ambulance ride to hospital.
Ben spent the final years of his career at the Richmond Football Club, where by his own admission, he was not the best player. However, he had a long period of being drug free and he retired from the club satisfied with his performance.
The book ends on an optimistic note. Ben acknowledges the harm he has done himself and others with his drug use and hopes to bring solace to those suffering from addiction. But unfortunately, things have not gone so well since then.
Fast forward ten years to March 2020 and the latest documentary "Ben Cousins: Coming Clean." Ben is estranged from his family, has been to prison and is living “between joints.” The following month, in April 2020, Ben is in the news again, back in prison for drug possession and aggravated stalking.
It’s as though the words of a dying outlaw, tattooed across Ben’s abdomen, are becoming a self fulfilling prophecy. Surely this is not the future that such a gifted young man envisioned for himself.
I really hope that is not the case and that Ben can finally turns things around. I hope that his life will become more than just a cautionary tale.
Arguably the most talented player of his era, the book details every season of Ben’s career and will appeal to footy buffs. But even if you are not a sports fan, there is a lot here to keep the pages turning. The narrative style is light and often humorous and you can hear Ben’s voice coming through on the page.
My son was in primary school when Ben Cousins dominated the footy world and he and his mates idolised him. The most prominent memory I have of Ben Cousins from that time is of him shirtless and handcuffed, being forced into a police car. I could never understand how a hardened drug addict could also be an elite athlete, but Cousins explains this in the book. It was all about timing. Ben had his training and drug taking schedules down to a fine art. He knew when his training was due and he knew how long it would take him to recover from a bender. He explains that his footy training and drug taking worked in tandem as a warped kind of reward and punishment system.
Ben was able to navigate the drug testing because he had the opportunity to plan ahead. And as long as he delivered the goods on game day, neither the authorities nor Ben himself seemed to concern themselves with the long term effects.
Ben got himself in and out of various scrapes but it wasn’t until Christmas of 2005 that things really came undone. Ben “jumped too early,” and mistimed the start of his Boxing Day twister. As a result, he was in a “right state” on Christmas Day and ruined it for the whole family.
By now, the seriousness of Ben’s addictions were becoming obvious and everyone was worried. Even his underworld cronies. There is a very funny part in the book where they pick Ben up to take him on a “fishing trip”. Ben worries that he has done something to offend them and is thinking the worst, but his mobster mates take him aside and give him a good talking to, warning him of the dangers of ice.
There were a couple of half-hearted attempts at rehab in luxurious, overseas facilities. Whisked away at LAX by two mystery blondes in a Mercedes, Ben’s overseas rehab stint ends up in an ambulance ride to hospital.
Ben spent the final years of his career at the Richmond Football Club, where by his own admission, he was not the best player. However, he had a long period of being drug free and he retired from the club satisfied with his performance.
The book ends on an optimistic note. Ben acknowledges the harm he has done himself and others with his drug use and hopes to bring solace to those suffering from addiction. But unfortunately, things have not gone so well since then.
Fast forward ten years to March 2020 and the latest documentary "Ben Cousins: Coming Clean." Ben is estranged from his family, has been to prison and is living “between joints.” The following month, in April 2020, Ben is in the news again, back in prison for drug possession and aggravated stalking.
It’s as though the words of a dying outlaw, tattooed across Ben’s abdomen, are becoming a self fulfilling prophecy. Surely this is not the future that such a gifted young man envisioned for himself.
I really hope that is not the case and that Ben can finally turns things around. I hope that his life will become more than just a cautionary tale.
September 29, 2019
Might be a biased opinion because I was always a huge fan of Ben cousins (not a west coast eagles fan) But I thoroughly enjoyed reading this.
This book was confronting and showed a very honest account of his drug addiction troubles through out his footy career. Though never blaming anyone but himself for his troubles it is incredible to see how far he could fall without his club, the league or many of his family and friends seeing it happen.
As an afl player he was incredible and to play so well through the off field drama and second life he faced is only staggering to assume how good he could have been.
The book finishes after his final season with Richmond in 2010 so the drama that has continued to followed and plague him over the last few years isn’t accounted for. Would be great to see and sequel to this book in a few years time hopefully when life has settled for him.
This book was confronting and showed a very honest account of his drug addiction troubles through out his footy career. Though never blaming anyone but himself for his troubles it is incredible to see how far he could fall without his club, the league or many of his family and friends seeing it happen.
As an afl player he was incredible and to play so well through the off field drama and second life he faced is only staggering to assume how good he could have been.
The book finishes after his final season with Richmond in 2010 so the drama that has continued to followed and plague him over the last few years isn’t accounted for. Would be great to see and sequel to this book in a few years time hopefully when life has settled for him.
July 10, 2022
The contradictions in this read are overwhelming. Says he was self-motivated to train in his free time more than anyone else... then later says when he had free time on his hands, all he wanted to do was use.. The book is very easy to read as it is poorly written and intended for a dumb audience.
If he wasn't a good looking, amazing white footy player, he would've never been afforded the time of day he has.
The guy has had more money and opportunities thrown his way than anyone else in life, and yet he continues to treat his family and himself like dirt. Oh, and thinking that Perth underworld figures are 'good people' at heart?
Yuck.
If he wasn't a good looking, amazing white footy player, he would've never been afforded the time of day he has.
The guy has had more money and opportunities thrown his way than anyone else in life, and yet he continues to treat his family and himself like dirt. Oh, and thinking that Perth underworld figures are 'good people' at heart?
Yuck.
February 28, 2025
I will start this review by saying that I am not a West Coast Eagles supporter or a fan of the club. Huge kudos to Ben Cousins for turning his life around. I remember seeing a lot about his fall from grace in the media but thought to myself typical football dickhead- all the money and fame went to his head and he fell of the rails like most do. Sorry Ben, I was wrong about that. I do wonder though that if when Ben was choosing which football team to join out of the three at the beginning of his career, if he had of chosen Geelong, would his life have ended up the way it did?
December 25, 2019
I only read this book because it was given to me by a friend who highly recommended it. Unfortunately I won’t be highly recommending it!! I’m sorry Ben, given how you have progressed with you life since completion of this book, I have to say I have no sympathy for you! In this book all I see is a self centred, egotistical young man who just saw the use of drugs as a means of entertainment with no regard for the consequences. 👎
January 6, 2021
Ben's battles were highly documentated by the media but reading it from his side of the story was both confronting & eye opening. One of the best players of his era, it was heartbreaking to read what he was doing to himself and the justifications made. As someone who has luckily never been touched by drugs this book bought a whole range of emotions. With a good mix of Ben's journey & AFL stories this was a great read.
March 28, 2020
Even blend of football and personal struggle with addiction. Enough about family and friends without disrespecting their privacy. He was at my table at VIP function and I thought he was a right twat. Reading this made me wonder if it was the drugs back then or if he's just good with words in the writing of this book.
January 23, 2023
Ben Cousins was such an amazing player and I loved watching him play. So talented. He shows in this book that we are all human and make mistakes. I'm glad he is doing so much better now and has been accepted back into the media and football world, where he belongs. Champion.
December 23, 2018
Excellent book
May 12, 2021
An interesting read regarding a genuine superstar of AFL football and his unfortunate drug addiction that sadly ruined his life as he knew it. I recommend.
August 16, 2022
This book was worth me taking the time to read it.
October 20, 2022
Didn't finish.
January 29, 2023
A different read April. All about the footy world!! Very much what I thought before reading. 3 stars
May 9, 2023
Very readable, and a timely lesson on what drugs can and will do to folk.
November 17, 2023
Not that I've read a lot, but this seems like a pretty standard sports autobiography, albeit that his career coincided with his struggle with drug addiction.
April 26, 2024
A proper ‘tell all’. I’ve never related to someone’s experience of addiction so much
February 26, 2025
An honest detail of his life the good the bad and the ugly. I couldn’t put this book down. I hope drugs & footy are a bit cleaner now but I have my doubts
January 14, 2025
Gave me a real understanding of a different type of persons point of view, very open and raw and is a great read
May 10, 2020
I read this book having read a sampler of Ben's auto-biography, but as is often the case, the most interesting bits of the book had been used in the sampler. Thus, having downloaded the full book, it wasn't that interesting a read. It is heavily centered around sport, which is not surprising given he's a sportsman, but you may find this book a lot more interesting if you have a particular interest in sport yourself. It was however interesting to read how Ben's life very quickly descended into the life of an addict, having started with recreational use. It was pleasing to hear in the end that he was abstaining from drugs and turning his life around, however just when I finished this book it appeared in the news that Ben was back on drugs - very sad indeed.
August 31, 2019
I am not a footy fan.
Part of me isn’t even sure why I read this book. I think It goes back to some interviews that Cousins did with Hughsey and Kate during his time at Richmond. I wasn’t a footy fan but I was a H&K fan so I was surprised to hear Cousins chat with them, and when he did, he actually seemed like a nice guy. This was at odds with the clips I’d seen of him on the news, the smug drug abusing star with a swagger and a sneer, or the over confident, full of himself footy captain. So I guess that is what sucked me into reading the book. How did this guy who had so much talent for his chosen job, and seem to be a nice guy turn out to be such a loser? Maybe the book would give me some clues?
While the first chapter or so is interesting, the following chapters about young Cousins’ life, are not. Its full of names that mean nothing to me, but which he has dropped as if he is expecting the reader to know them. I am not sure if that was his intention, or if he just wanted to fill the pages with the names of all his mates and teachers growing up so he could remember them in his old age (if he gets that far). I really didn’t need to hear about every footy match, win or loss during his teenage years. These chapters however, did give me clues as to why this talented young sportsmen got into drugs. He was, and perhaps still is, a very insecure man, highly anxious that combined with a driving obsessive personality and work ethic to his chosen job (footy and the training that goes with it) he was a wreck waiting to happen. He just couldn’t get the balance right.
The book goes into too much detail about every footy season he played, who held the ball, who tagged him, how many points he scored, how many goals he kicked and it was just boring “over-information” that dragged the story out. He continued to drop the names of every person he came across with no background information and the names added nothing to the story.
The real hero in this story is Mr Cousins senior, and Ben’s other family members who supported and loved him despite him being a bit of a nob. They supported him through every battle in adulthood, including the big drug ones. It just goes to show that even a parent who has all the tools to lead a kid to successful adulthood, can’t, because, well, it depends on the kid. Ben was a good liar and a good planner. Ben is a man who had every chance to lead a successful and happy life, but his demons were bigger than him. It’s a sad reality for some addicts. *spoiler follows* Even though the book ends on good terms, after a clean couple of years, developments since its publication show that Ben is a drug addict leading a wreck of a life, in and out of jail, the courts, hospitals and regularly pulled from the Perth gutters in a drugged state.
Part of me isn’t even sure why I read this book. I think It goes back to some interviews that Cousins did with Hughsey and Kate during his time at Richmond. I wasn’t a footy fan but I was a H&K fan so I was surprised to hear Cousins chat with them, and when he did, he actually seemed like a nice guy. This was at odds with the clips I’d seen of him on the news, the smug drug abusing star with a swagger and a sneer, or the over confident, full of himself footy captain. So I guess that is what sucked me into reading the book. How did this guy who had so much talent for his chosen job, and seem to be a nice guy turn out to be such a loser? Maybe the book would give me some clues?
While the first chapter or so is interesting, the following chapters about young Cousins’ life, are not. Its full of names that mean nothing to me, but which he has dropped as if he is expecting the reader to know them. I am not sure if that was his intention, or if he just wanted to fill the pages with the names of all his mates and teachers growing up so he could remember them in his old age (if he gets that far). I really didn’t need to hear about every footy match, win or loss during his teenage years. These chapters however, did give me clues as to why this talented young sportsmen got into drugs. He was, and perhaps still is, a very insecure man, highly anxious that combined with a driving obsessive personality and work ethic to his chosen job (footy and the training that goes with it) he was a wreck waiting to happen. He just couldn’t get the balance right.
The book goes into too much detail about every footy season he played, who held the ball, who tagged him, how many points he scored, how many goals he kicked and it was just boring “over-information” that dragged the story out. He continued to drop the names of every person he came across with no background information and the names added nothing to the story.
The real hero in this story is Mr Cousins senior, and Ben’s other family members who supported and loved him despite him being a bit of a nob. They supported him through every battle in adulthood, including the big drug ones. It just goes to show that even a parent who has all the tools to lead a kid to successful adulthood, can’t, because, well, it depends on the kid. Ben was a good liar and a good planner. Ben is a man who had every chance to lead a successful and happy life, but his demons were bigger than him. It’s a sad reality for some addicts. *spoiler follows* Even though the book ends on good terms, after a clean couple of years, developments since its publication show that Ben is a drug addict leading a wreck of a life, in and out of jail, the courts, hospitals and regularly pulled from the Perth gutters in a drugged state.
December 6, 2010
This book was a real eye opener, it held a lot of information that was shown in his television documentary, but also gave a whole lot more insight on the lifestyle I could have never imagined he lived. This book, never felt like a drag at all, but I must admit, those who arent exactly interested in AFL or Ben Cousins, may find this book a little hard to enjoy.
During this book, i felt sympathetic and upset for what was being explained throughout his life story. This book. goes through each and every year of his 14 year old career, from the beginning to the end. Every event that took place, and was being thrown up by the media, was explained by Ben Cousins, and it really made me feel sick by how ruthless the media had been towards him.
I thoroughly enjoyed this book, and would recommend it to anyone who wishes to know 'what the big deal is'. In all honesty it can make you sick to know how down in the dumps this man got, and that no one from the AFL hierachy would be nice enough OR caring to come to his aid. They were selfish and only showed interest in the way people perceived the sporting institution, and punished Cousins for bringing the game into disrepute.
This really angered me, because I was an AFL fan, and believed it was a supportive institution that cared for its athletes, how wrong was I?
Event after event, incident after incident, and the AFL punished him, instead of assisting him in his recovery or widely referred to as his 'double life'...this book is packed with information that'll make you think "HOLY CRAP!"
Hope I helped.
Enjoy.
During this book, i felt sympathetic and upset for what was being explained throughout his life story. This book. goes through each and every year of his 14 year old career, from the beginning to the end. Every event that took place, and was being thrown up by the media, was explained by Ben Cousins, and it really made me feel sick by how ruthless the media had been towards him.
I thoroughly enjoyed this book, and would recommend it to anyone who wishes to know 'what the big deal is'. In all honesty it can make you sick to know how down in the dumps this man got, and that no one from the AFL hierachy would be nice enough OR caring to come to his aid. They were selfish and only showed interest in the way people perceived the sporting institution, and punished Cousins for bringing the game into disrepute.
This really angered me, because I was an AFL fan, and believed it was a supportive institution that cared for its athletes, how wrong was I?
Event after event, incident after incident, and the AFL punished him, instead of assisting him in his recovery or widely referred to as his 'double life'...this book is packed with information that'll make you think "HOLY CRAP!"
Hope I helped.
Enjoy.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 57 reviews