هذا العام سوف أقوم : كيف تغير احدى عاداتك أخيرا، أو كيف تلتزم بقراراتك، أو كيف تحقق حلمك

by M.J. Ryan

كيف تغير إحدى عاداتك أخيرا، أو كيف تلتزم بقراراتك، أو كيف تحقق حلمك ..، هذا العام سوف أتوقف عن الإفراط في القلق، سوف أصل إلى الوزن المثالي، سوف أحسن علاقتي بأفراد أسرتي، سأتعلم اللغة الأسبانية أخيرا،

كم شخص منا اتخذ قرارات تشبه إحدى تلك القرارات السابقة ؟
لدينا جميعا شيء نريد أن نغيره بشأن أنفسنا، أو شيء نريد أن نتعلمه، و سواء كان ذلك في أول يوم بالسنة الجديدة ، أو في أحد أعياد الميلاد، أو بعد الطلاق، أو حتى لمجرد أننا قد اعترانا شعور بالسأم، فإننا عند نقطة معينة نقسم أننا سنقوم بذلك الأمر الذي طالما رغبنا به، و لكن حين يتلاشى الحماس الجارف لتنفيذ تلك الرغبة فإن هذه القرارات تزاح جانبا، ليس لأننا لم نعد نشتاق لتحقيق ما نرغبه، و لكن ببساطة ﻷننا لا نعرف كيف نتغير.

يرصد لنا هذا الكتاب حالات مختلفة كان من الصعب تحقيقها؛ ولكن المؤلفة" .ام. جيه. ريان أو ضحت لنا طرائق وأساليب مختلفة في سبيل تحقيق تلك الغايات ان ذلك الكتاب يمثل مرشدا ونبراسا لك لتحقيق التغيير الذي تنشده ومن .ثم النجاح والسعادة في حياتك الجديدة فهيا بنا نخوض تلك المغامرة"

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Personal Development, Psychology, Audiobook, Reference, Productivity

226 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2006

About the author

MJ Ryan is one of the creators of the New York Times bestselling Random Acts of Kindness series and the author of The Happiness Makeover (nominated for the 2005 Books for Better Living award in the Motivational category), Attitudes of Gratitude, The Power of Patience, Trusting Yourself, The Giving Heart, and 365 Health and Happiness Boosters, among other titles. Altogether, there are 1.75 million copies of her titles in print.

Reviews

[Donna · Rating 4 out of 5]

UPDATE: this book made my re-read list this year. Even the second time around, I really enjoyed this gentle and positive reminder of living a more purposeful life. I always need reminders....my memory isn't what it used to be.

---------------------------------

I liked this book and from time to time, I need to read books like this. They serve as a reminder and they give me a boost of encouragement. This information was well organized and presented in a usable way. Was there anything new in this? No, not really, but I still found it uplifting. I also enjoyed the narration of the audio.

[Evie · Rating 3 out of 5]

"I don't believe in New Year's resolutions." Ever said that or heard that? I actually don't believe in making huge vows at the beginning of the year, and falling flat on my face a month later. I am a believer in trying to implement lasting lifestyle changes in my life that lead to a happier/healthy me. The problems usually arise after my burst of energy fizzles out, and I am back to square one, usually 10 lbs heavier and just a smidge bitter.

What I needed was a way to organize my ideas and goals, and a way to jump from goal to action. Once that was in gear, I needed help with sticking to those goals. Thus the book, which if you didn't already know, is a "self-help" book, which already was an issue for me, since I don't care for this genre (probably because I've only read a few really, really bad ones). That aside, I really enjoyed the straight forward layout and style of the book, and the practical suggestions. It served as a workbook and was divided into sections that you can revisit from time to time if you need to refocus on your projects.

While some information was repetitive and also a little contradictory, I was able to take away a lot of good points, for example, reflecting on habits that were successfully created in the past, and what I did to accomplish them. It took awhile to really hone in on past successes, but I was able to reflect on how I broke the habit of cursing (including even thinking them in my head), avoiding soda, and even when I lost 35 pounds and kept them off for two years. She also tackled awkward subjects like dealing with naysayers, especially when they're family or close friends. Made me realize that I've been that person in the past. Why do we do that?!

I read about 60% of this book last year in an effort to finally shed unwanted pounds, and then just didn't have the energy to finish it. How funny and sad, huh? Needless to say, I did not lose the weight I wanted last year. This year though, I finished the book and even downloaded the audio book so I can listen to certain areas again when I need to get reenergized. My three main goals this year are to run a half marathon by the end of the year (I am not a runner at all), adopt a cleaner way of eating (including buying organic meats, fruits, and vegetables), and to review all of the books I read this year. I'm actually doing pretty good!

So what about you? What are some things that you've wanted to implement or change in your life? If you're feeling a little stuck and need some direction on pinpointing where to get started, you'll probably really enjoy this little book.

[Reshma · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think MJ Ryan has done a great job of distilling wisdom from different fields of study and really offers some insightful tips and reminders for helping yourself set up the framework needed to create lasting and meaningful change. I feel like it's a book you want to refer to over and over, and especially use it as a companion as you are trying to make a particular change.

I read it cover to cover just to get a sense of what it offers and see if it fit with my way of thinking. Now I I want to use it as a tool and a companion as I go through the process of making changes.

[7jane · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really excellent, this book is made of several chapters of helpful hints on how to reach one's goal, no matter what. Made so many notes while reading this, and for me it's a good sign - this book has much to give and I never got a feeling that I was being patronised or made to feel inferior, unlike some other 'helpful' books. The size of the book, despite being a hardback, was easy to handle.
For those who want one book on setting goals, working on goals, sticking to working on goals, and reaching + keeping said goal, this is *the* book.

[Rorie · Rating 4 out of 5]

last year I decided to take on a new good habit every month, stuff I had been saying I would do, little things (regular flossing, drinking enough water, etc., regular excercise) I finished out the year with 6 new good habits I didnt have before. This year has been trickier, as its the stuff I didn't get to stick last year and I'vebeen trying to figure out why. that's why I picked up this book.
a lot of what I learned last year in this book in a readable, distilled and backed up with some neurological science. The exercises she has are good for keeping one on track, although there is no panacea you just have to do it, and do it, and do it until it wears a groove in your life recognizing that it still must compete against that other, undesired groove of the bad habit. and if you dont succeed one day, its not the end of the world, you just do it again over and over and over. and the most important thing is to kick that inward critic in the shins,
this book is a keeper. i will read and re-read it like a reference or a workbook.

[Dang · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is about 225 pages about how to get off your duff and start making changes--losing weight, quitting smoking, changing jobs, etc. As a busy person, and frequent procrastinator, I found the short chapters very convenient. Even I could find time to read a few pages, then put it down. But, in fact, once I started, it became hard to put down, and I was on course to finish it in a week, until... well, until page 147. Up to this point, the stories had been a mix of recounted/anecdotal stories with a mix of references to studies, papers, etc (though there was no bibliography) supporting the ideas presented. As I follow news on cognitive and learning discoveries, it was pleasant to see the things I have read reinforced and phrased in an actionable way, where I could put them to use.

Until I got to page 147, where I found this nugget of horse shit:
"But according to quantum physics, somehow we do increase potentialities with our magnetic thoughts."

At this point, my brain figuratively exploded, and I lost all confidence in the author. That sentence makes no sense, no matter how you look at it. Thoughts are not magnetic. What are our "potentialities", and what does it mean to increase them? And, no--quantum physics says abso-fucking-lutely nothing about our potentialities or magnetic thoughts. It was a line of pseudo-scientific crap trying to lend an artificial air of authenticity to a chapter and book that do not need it. Furthermore, even if I pretend it makes sense, it doesn't fit into the paragraph or chapter that it's in. It completely blindsided me.

I struggled over the next three months to finish the remaining third of the book, but admit my heart wasn't in it, and sloughed through it because I had told myself, "This year I will... finish reading a self-help book." I succeeded, but the overall experience was disappointing.

Nonetheless, if one can skip that sentence, I really do think the rest of the book has useful information and guidance to making changes. I intend to write to the publisher about this one sentence.

[Dmitry Loktev · Rating 3 out of 5]

Classical self-help book as per both the form and the content. That being said…

Главный вопрос, на который отвечает автор – почему люди не достигают своих целей? Для них они важны, ценны, желанны – но всё не достигают. Ответ простой, хоть он и не написан в книге, но это косвенное обобщение всего, что написала автор.

Люди биологически не приспособлены к тому, чтобы достигать сложносоставных, долгосрочных целей. Люди биологически не приспособлены к стратегическому мышлению. It is just unnatural for humans. Люди натурально непоследовательны и подвержены регулярным бомбардировкам сиюминутых желаний своей лимбической системы, мешающих реализовывать долгосрочные цели.

Как же люди добились того технологического прогресса как сегодня? Ну... Они много раз пытались, они придумывали системы (и прежде всего словарь), чтобы искусственно направлять себя с помощью систем многочисленной обратной связи in order to keep on track. Даже в словаре людей существуют такие слова как воля, последовательность, саморегулирование – всё это внешняя система, воспеваемая нравственностью (уже надстройка над природой), чтобы люди достигали сложных, долгосроных целей.

Наши цели – результат наших желаний. «Желание» - это результат работы... внимание... лимбической системы! То есть эмоционального мозга. Наши желания рождаются древним мозгом, который просто не может конкретизировать его. Вожделение, тоска, ностальгия – все супер неконкретные термины, описывающие жалания. Как я узнаю, что достиг, реализовал желание Х? А что, если я просто обречен всегда желать, всю жизнь желать?

На помощь приходит мозг современный. Неокортекс. Красивый, мощный, recent update, most sophisticated and latest software (в отличие от firmware – лимбической системы). Своим неокортексом мы начинаем «допрашивать» наш эмоциональный мозг, конкретизировать желание. А конкретизированное желание становится целью. Конкретизировать лучше сразу по СМАРТ. Критерий достижения (реализации желания), временной промежуток, совокупность действий.

«Хочу найти свою любовь.» А как узнаешь, что нашёл\нашла? «Почувствую.» У меня плохие новости для таких людей.

«Хочу стать богатым.» А как поймёшь, что стал? Сколько денег нужно? Активов? Акций? Недвижимости? Определи.

«Хочу больше времени проводить с семьёй, уделять время детям». Что это, бл*ть, значит!?

Итого, базовая инфа: know your values, your priorities, your goals. Know yourself. Добейся кристальной ясности.

Интересный факт. Чтобы бороться с багом врождённой сиюминутности у людей и популяризировать идею долгосрочного, стратегического видения, Джефф Безос даже создал фонд The Long Now. Его цель – пропаганда идеи долгосрочного планирования.

Как то, что ты делаешь сегодня забенефитит тебя завтра?

Цели мы выбираем неокортексом, но эмоциональный мозг может думать совсем иначе. Он не умеет прогнозировать. Он заточен эволюцией обеспечиваться немедленное удовольствие и безопаность. Вот почему мы так часто «саботируем» собственные решения – наш эмоциональный мозг начинает превалировать над думающий частью, и мы переключаемся на блоее примитивные вещи – собственную безопасность или получение немедленного удовольствия.

Вступление получилось длинным. Какие другие ловушки в достижении целей? Перечислю 5 наиболее важных на мой взгляд причин.

Неопределённость, нечёткая формулировка желаний. Отсутствие ясности. Отсутствие приоритетов. Уже поговорили.

Поиск оправданий, откладывание. Это результат недостатка приоритетов и прояснения мотивации. Если с мотивацией (финальной целью, причиной) вопрос решён, то отговорки «нет времени» не существует.

Отсутствие системы напоминаний и навыков самоконтроля. Наш биологический мозг не завязан помнить сложные цепочки действий, держать в фокусе одну цель, тем более долгосрочную. Мы ведомы импульсами, контекстом и инстинктами. Нужно создавать системы: публичные обещания, контракты, работа, секретарша, календаль – всё это пример систем.

Непроработка внутренних конфликтов в противоречащих желаниях. Self-explaining.

Перфекционизм.

Топ-3 мысли.

Чувства на нашей стороне.
Эмоциональный мозг будет нам мешать добиваться цели, даже если мотивация для неё детально проработана, если действия, ведущие к цели нам противны (не нравятся чувственно). Поэтому нужно обманыавть свой мозг или, что назыавется, «переорпделять кайф». Не нравится ходить в спорт-зал, но хочется красивую фигуру? Найди способ «подкреплять себя», т.е. создай положительно эмоциональный стимул для похода на тренировку. Слушай там любимую музыку, книги, покупай себе классный журнал после каждой тренировке, переводи деньги родитеям, и т.д. Цель – заставить собственные чувства играть на стороне долгосрочных целей.

Обучение = неуверенность.
Человек, который всегда учится – всегда неуверен. Ведь у него нет опыта. Уверенность в Х – функция от количества опыта в Х. Уверенность – способность прогнозировать, что твои дейстия, направленные на желаемый результат Х приведут к Х.

Цели = тренажёр для развития характера.
Относись к достижению целей не как к финальной цели жизни, а как тренажёрам для развития качеств характера. Об этой мысли вся книга Джима Лоэра – the only way to win. Какие качества характера ты хочешь развивать в долгосрочной перспективе?

[Joan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm one who boldly says I'm reading a self-help book,
...and that's usually all the self-help I get from it. I make motions and wishes in the right direction, but then seem to get stuck, or fall back into the comfort zone of the old routine, rather than rally myself toward the unknown of change.
This book's advice was mixed in well with the author's own struggles to change habits and work toward her strongest desires. She isn't promising results in 3 weeks, like many magazine articles/diet products/TV infomercials do, and I give her credit for staying away from that kind of hype which I've fallen for in the past. (With all the fitness videos and equipment I've purchased over the last 5 years, you'd think I was a personal trainer, but one look at me in a bikini would tell you I own those things, not necessarily USE them!)
The author provides psychological backup for what she is talking about, incorporates many inspirational quotes from famous people who have screwed up in order to find success (and that was reassuring, too!), and gives a great variety of examples for struggles you may encounter for whatever goal you're setting for yourself, be it losing weight, being more of a positive person, quitting smoking/drinking, and on and on. An excellent book for those of us who haven't given up, but are looking for something more.

[Annie · Rating 4 out of 5]

The ideas in the book are simple. But that's because the method to change is simple -- find the right approach for you and identify what would motivate you to continue day after day. People often fail because of two reasons. They talk about or read about change but don't take any action. Or they start without having a plan or consider how to get back on track when slipping up occasionally.

If you're ready to make a change, this is a great book to walk you through it. The author describes the steps (e.g., plan and prepare). She gives examples of where people have succeeded and failed in these steps. You decide what would work for you. Go through the book slowly. Absorb a few ideas and practice the techniques. Be willing to tweak it so it works for you (e.g., putting sticky notes to remind yourself rather than beat yourself up when you forget to do something). After accomplishing those steps, move on to the next section in the book.

[Tatyana Naumova · Rating 4 out of 5]

Возможно, эта книга поможет мне закончить подготовку и пробежать марафон, а не бросить все на 70%

[Melani · Rating 2 out of 5]

Okay, so I have to preface by saying that I did learn some things from this book. There was some interesting technical information about how our brain forms neural pathways during our lives, and actions that move contrary to those neural pathways seem less natural to us. These neural pathways are what makes it difficult for us to change and cultivate new habits; our old habits are hard wired into us. I enjoyed this aspect of the book, however, I did not get much out of the quotes from Meryl Streep or the life stories of Brad Pitt and Oprah Winfrey. The book took me forever to read, even though it is very short -- and I think that may be because I really slogged through the parts about loving your inner self more and life's little angels. I am sadly too cynical for stuff like that and I usually avoid books that make me sneer. The author looks so friendly and happy on the back flap that I feel bad saying something negative about her books. But I am sure that she will take her own advice by seeing her mistakes, learning to forgive herself, and moving on :)

[Eric Montag · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am a pretty big fan of this author. This book is composed of many small chapters, with each chapter being 2-3 pages. Chapter headings include things like, "AA Is On To Something- One Day At A Time" and "Don't Despair: Understand The Three Stages Of Learning." So if you don't want to read the whole book cover to cover, it is very easy to skim the contents and just read the chapters that you think will apply to you. Some of the chapters seem like common sense, but I do also think that it is true that common sense is not always so common. Sometimes, when you are trying to change something about yourself, it is good to see the simple "common sense" answers and think about how they can apply to you.

[Shams AlDharrab · Rating 5 out of 5]

هذا الكتاب اعده من اروع الكتب التي قد يقرأها من يرغب في البدء بتغيير عادة جديدة , او البدء في شيء جديد , وليس فقط بداية السنة كما يوحي العنوان , فكل الاوقات مناسبة للبدء كما تبين الكاتبة,بشرط أن تضع هدفك قبل بداية قراءته والا سيمر عليك كما تمر بقية الكتب التي تقرأها دون جدوى , كذلك لابد من المتابعة خلال القراءة عبر التطبيق والكتابة .

[Happyreader · Rating 3 out of 5]

My boss and I argue endlessly over whether it's possible for people to truly change their habits and lose weight. He votes no because he's having problems shedding some weight and he sees many patients not keeping commitments to lose weight. I vote yes because I think all change depends on your mindset and I've had patients suddenly make that mental shift and lose the weight. While this book isn't focused directly on weight loss, it's all about how to shift your mindset so that you're ready to make some changes and stick to a plan. A lot of what's in here is standard goal setting stuff - make it specific, doable, and measurable. Some mental shifts seem helpful such as dropping the analysis of why you continue with your current unhelpful behavior and focusing instead on what positive change would look like and acting as if. Focus on what the positive outcomes will be if you're successful in making the change. Focus also on what positive character traits you're developing in addition to the specific habit that you're changing. At the end, I give this book 3 1/2 stars. It's a quick read with good tips yet I felt like there wasn't enough depth in addressing really tenacious, addictive behaviors and blind spots that block awareness of self-sabotage. She does wisely point out that if you're not really putting in the effort to change that there's a hidden need that's being met by your continued unhealthy behavior. I wanted more on helping people finding and addressing the root fears that fuel those hidden commitments. This is a good book for those who are already committed to change (planning, action, and maintenance in the stages of change) but not as helpful for those in pre-contemplation or contemplation.

[Anna · Rating 3 out of 5]

For me, this book arrived a bit too late. I have already, more or less, and with some failures along the way, figured out how to keep the resolutions myself (or maybe with some help of the zillion self-help books I've read on the subject before :)). So most of the time I couldn't help thinking "hey, that's exactly what I'm doing" - defining my goals with precision, setting deadlines, keeping record of the current progress etc. However the great thing about the book is that it gathers all the methods neatly into one pile, for you to try, test and then pick what works best for you. It also warns you against the pitfalls of perfectionism, all-or-nothing thinking and giving it all up once you've succumbed to that huge ice-cream and skipped gym :) Some things were new for me, and certain questions are definitely worth asking yourself. However, I was hoping for more information on the subject. Although maybe there is simply nothing else to write - I somehow suspect the secret to achieving goals is simply doing what you planned :)

[Andrea James · Rating 2 out of 5]

It's probably unfair to simply say that this is a basic book because it may seem basic only because as a trainer/coach I've read so many others and hence I'm familiar with the advice that is commonly spouted.

I listened to this on audiobook whilst running and admittedly once in a while I do miss one or two things that is said because I'm momentarily distracted by some obstacle and it's too much of a hassle to rewind the audio. Anyway, another reviewer (Dang) pointed out the following:

Until I got to page 147, where I found this nugget of horse shit:
"But according to quantum physics, somehow we do increase potentialities with our magnetic thoughts."

Had I heard that, it probably would have made the rest of the book harder to stomach (as the above reviewer experienced).

The book did offer the usual practical advice most of which were pretty sound and do produce results (I already use a bunch and they work for me) so it's not completely off the mark.

[Maria · Rating 3 out of 5]

Change, growth, goals are things that we all aspire to and Ryan is here to encourage the reader on. She reminds the reader to figure out the why behind the reason to change, be clear about the how and plan for disruptions. Change is hard so reward yourself, with notice and praise along the way.

Why I started this book: Once again, all my library holds arrived at once... good thing that the one due first, is the one that will cheer me on to read the others.

Why I finished it: Quick read and a solid reminder of the hard work it takes to change.

[Kristal · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book gives great insight to the psychology behind changing a habit or sticking to a resolution and how to evoke different parts of the brain and your emotions in order to make the habit long term. Very easy to read. Be prepared to do some writing as you are reading to help when you get to the task of creating resolutions

[Bailey Olfert · Rating 2 out of 5]

Although this book has quite a lot of helpful information, it isn't as in-depth as some of the other habit-related books I have recently read. I only rated it two stars more because of my own situation than because of any weakness in the book: you have to be at a place in your life where you're able to choose a goal in order to effectively use this book.

[Leslie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Probably the best self-help book I have read. And I have read it twice. What I find most helpful is that it guides you through the practices and pitfalls of change in general. The information here can be used to help you get healthy, quit an addiction, provide yourself with better work/life balance, or even write that book you have been dreaming of. Great book...I took notes.

[Rasha · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked this book a lot, although it didn't say something new but it inspired me to priotize my resolutins and try to keep them again after I lost faith in myself and my ability to achieve what i've set my mind to, it worth reread to digest all its strategies and advices.

[Karen · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you are needed some inspiration on how to change, listen to this audiobook. Nothing new but always need to hear this information again and again.

[Cindy (BKind2Books) · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a nice book to pick up and read bits at a time; it's not really intended to simply read at a whack, although it's short enough you could certainly do that. It would probably also be useful if you had a big goal (save money for a house, complete a degree, lose a lot of weight, etc.) and you felt stuck and weren't getting any traction. A lot of the concepts in here I am familiar with, partly because in doing WW (and losing a bunch of weight several years ago / keeping most of it off) these are techniques that they recommend for their members. Is there anything revolutionary or life-changing in here? Unless you've been living under a rock, probably not. But that's not to say that there weren't interesting ideas and tips for getting going on that goal.

Quotes / ideas to remember:

We do what we do because it serves some need. We developed a particular habit...as the best way we know at the time to meet some need in ourselves. But because we're not conscious about what we're doing, the strategy we choose to solve the problem eventually becomes a bigger problem than the original one...So many change efforts fail because we bypass the crucial step of identifying the need being served. We can't make lasting change unless we recognize it and meet it some other way.

The benefits of where you're headed need to be clear. Just as you need a powerful what, you need a meaningful why...while you may have been pushed into action by hitting bottom, ultimately you need something positive that you want to go toward.

One great way to create such a focus...is to name the year: The Year of the Body; The Year of Learning to Say No; The Year of Household Projects...we give our thinking something to crystallize around so that we increase the likelihood of actually doing what we intend.

Stretch is where change occurs. It's where you feel awkward, but not so stressed out that learning is impossible...if what you're doing doesn't feel at least somewhat weird to you, you haven't yet gone far enough out of your comfort zone for change to happen.

[Marjorie Elwood · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read a lot of books about goals and habit-changing and most of them share much the same information. This one doesn’t – the author uses examples that are rarely found in these types of books (such as being negative, or addicted to weed) and mentioned that goals can be set at any time, such as on one’s birthday (that’s when I set mine). She had my vote when she said that knowing the “why” of a habit doesn’t fix the problem (it can help, but just knowing why you do something doesn’t mean you’ll be able to change). Instead, she suggests that we look at what need the current behavior is fixing.

Other helpful tips:
• You have to make the change a higher priority than the other items on your to-do list.
• When you mess up and do something counter to your goal (and you will), realize that it’s just because you haven’t found the right strategy yet, not because you’re ‘bad’ or incapable of achieving the goal.
• Write a letter to future you about how it feels to be x (thinner, financially secure, etc.)

There were aspects I didn’t like, particularly her lack of enunciation (I was listening to the audiobook) – it was distracting; she really slurred her words. But overall, an interesting take on goal-setting.

“Goals are dreams with deadlines”. Diana Hunt

[Hoại Băng · Rating 5 out of 5]

I like this one. Not bad at all.

[Barbara Dutton · Rating 5 out of 5]

I picked this book from a list of inspirational, self-help books. I read it daily - at least 10 pages per day. I took notes and made scribbles all over the book.

It’s a tiny book - but very powerful. Many lessons to be learned.

Take the time to read it. You won’t be sorry.

[Marwa Bayaho · Rating 4 out of 5]

على مدى أكثر من شهر استمتعت بقراءة هذا الكتاب القيم ،كنت كلما شعرت بإحباط رأيت فيه ما يشجعني ويدفعني إلى أن أعمل بحماس أكبر ،و قلت في نفسي بادئ الأمر :
إن لم أستطع أن أطبق كل ما جاء فيه من نصائح فلا ضرر من أن آخذ منه القدر الذي أستطيع تطبيقه ، وبالفعل وجدت فيه الكثير من الأفكار سهلة التطبيق ، وارتحت جدا لمعرفتها فقد كنت أبحث عن هكذا نصائح عملية وجديدة غير مكررة في كتب التنمية ، أما شكل الكتاب فقد كان تقريبا مقسما إلى ثلاثة أقسام رئيسية وهي : الاستعداد للتغيير والبدء في التحرك والاستمرار في التقدم
وكل قسم قد شمل عدة نصائح ونقاط مهمة للمرحلة المخصصة له ، وفي الأخير كانت الكاتبة قد وضعت اثنتا عشرة نصيحة شاملة لما جاء بالكتاب تقريبا ،
ربما تشعر بأن الالتزام بكل ما قرأته صعب جدا ،ولكنني أرى أنك إن استطعت أن تخرج من الكتاب بنصيحة واحدة فقط واستطعت تطبيقها فهذا يكفي ، فهو بالأخير كتاب يحاول إقناعك وتغيير اعتقاداتك السلبية اتجاه نفسك وقدراتك ، ويخاطبك بكل ود لتستطيع أن تنهض بنفسك وتغير ما أنت مصمم على تغييره .
كتاب رائع يستحق القراءة

[Ann Kolomenskaya · Rating 3 out of 5]

The first time I read this book, I thought that it could be my favorite self-help book. But it happened at the specific period in my life when I just needed something cheering and motivational.

Now, rereading it in a more calm state, I see that there is nothing special that I haven’t read in any other self-help book.

This book is filled with references of other books and works of other people, providing honestly very basic phycological tips and tricks.

So, nowadays I would not say it is a bad book but I’m pretty sure that I won’t come back to it for advice. It did not age well for me in a couple of moments, I found them questionable at least…

[Hassan Algoz · Rating 5 out of 5]

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
في هذا الكتاب فعلاً وجدت أجوبة لأسئلة لطالما حيرتني وكانت في داخلي وثبتت مفاهيم أخرى كنت لا أعلم بوجودها في أعماق عقلي. يبدأ هذا الكتاب بـ"يجب أن ترغب في ذلك رغبة حقيقية" ثم يجري الحديث والنقاش بينك وبينه فيسألك: ما هو ثمن عدم التغيير؟. ثم يعلمك أنه "عندما تكتسب عادتك الجديدة، فهي ملكك إلى الأبد".

ومن أروع ما وجدته في هذا الكتاب، أن الكاتبة أتت بأمثلة واقعية من عملائها الذين تابعت معهم تقدمهم في تغييرهم والذين أثبتوا أنهم تغيروا فعلاً وعاشوا لذة الوصول للهدف المنشود.

[Sasha · Rating 3 out of 5]

The trade-offs you make with how you spend your time and who you give it to reveal what you truly care about. Covers all the stages of changing a habit - right from the conception of change, letting go of beliefs holding you back, to failing the first time, revising and re-trying.