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The Gold-Threaded Dress
A young girl from Thailand finds that there are many shades to being American in this poignant story about longing to belong.
In Thailand she was named Oy, but here in America the teachers call her Olivia. Other things are not so easy to change, however. When Oy draws a self-portrait that has brown hair and eyes round as coins, her classmate Frankie makes fun and calls her Chinese. And the popular girl, Liliandra, barely speaks to her, until she learns that Oy has something very a Thai dancing dress from her grandmother, shimmering with pink silk and golden threads that make her look like a princess. Will Oy risk shaming her family to win Liliandra’s approval - and be part of the club she has envied from afar?
With compassion and rare insight, Carolyn Marsden tells a simple tale about a young girl who searches for acceptance in a complex culture, while learning to treasure all that she is.
In Thailand she was named Oy, but here in America the teachers call her Olivia. Other things are not so easy to change, however. When Oy draws a self-portrait that has brown hair and eyes round as coins, her classmate Frankie makes fun and calls her Chinese. And the popular girl, Liliandra, barely speaks to her, until she learns that Oy has something very a Thai dancing dress from her grandmother, shimmering with pink silk and golden threads that make her look like a princess. Will Oy risk shaming her family to win Liliandra’s approval - and be part of the club she has envied from afar?
With compassion and rare insight, Carolyn Marsden tells a simple tale about a young girl who searches for acceptance in a complex culture, while learning to treasure all that she is.
80 pages, Hardcover
First published February 18, 2002
12 people are currently reading
164 people want to read
About the author
Carolyn Marsden
31 books18 followersCarolyn Marsden was born in Mexico City to missionary parents. She has been a writer all her life, but THE GOLD-THREADED DRESS is her first book. About THE GOLD-THREADED DRESS she says, "I wrote this story when my half-Thai daughter was being teased at school. As a parent and elementary school teacher, I watched her struggle to establish a cultural identity. I became fascinated with a conflict that is common to many children in our increasingly diverse United States." Carolyn Marsden has an MFA in Writing for Children from Vermont College. After spending the last twenty-five years in Tucson, Arizona, Carolyn Marsden now lives by the ocean with her husband and two daughters.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 44 reviews
May 2, 2011
I read this book to see if it was appropriate to read to my third graders. I've had some trouble with some bullying, so I thought this slim little volume might be a good way to end the year. I read the first half of it to my first class today, and I could tell they were listening. We had a little discussion about whether or not Oy should bring the dress to school. I hope they will be thinking about this book long after we finish reading it.
November 30, 2014
The story takes place in an American city. The main character is Oy, who immigrated to America with her family for better opportunities. The father, a Thai Chef, won a cooking contest and got a job in America. The move location within a community to a poorer area and Oy has to move to a new school. Her classmates do not treat her kindly. In order to get accepted into the group, she has to let the other girls try out her prized dress from Thailand. Oy is reluctant to let them try it out, but gets convinced to let them try it because she has no friends. The get caught for not being clothed in the school park. Unfortunately, Oy gets blamed for bringing the dress to school because the principal believes that that is how the trouble initiated. Fortunately, Oy got the dress repaired and learned who her real friends, certainly not the leader of the club. She ends up concluding that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. Being part of a group that manipulates you to do something for acceptance are not friends that have your best interests. This can be a cruel lesson but for many kids, this is a rite of passage.
This is a great book for children and particularly valuable with those who suffer peer pressure and feel that they have to compromise for acceptance. The characters, plot and setting are believable. I have been through similar circumstances at some point during my childhood. Kids can be mean and have the potential to neglect someone unique. It is particularly difficult for immigrants that come into America because of the cultural differences. I feel that there many valuable themes from this novel. We have all heard, “The Grass is always greener on the other side.” It was tempting for Oy to be accepted by the group, but at what cost? The novel will give children from the ages of seven to nine a head start on peer pressure and how being accepted into a group is not always the best thing. I believe a novel like this is valuable because it is important to discuss issues of peer pressure, resilience and self-understanding.
This is a great book for children and particularly valuable with those who suffer peer pressure and feel that they have to compromise for acceptance. The characters, plot and setting are believable. I have been through similar circumstances at some point during my childhood. Kids can be mean and have the potential to neglect someone unique. It is particularly difficult for immigrants that come into America because of the cultural differences. I feel that there many valuable themes from this novel. We have all heard, “The Grass is always greener on the other side.” It was tempting for Oy to be accepted by the group, but at what cost? The novel will give children from the ages of seven to nine a head start on peer pressure and how being accepted into a group is not always the best thing. I believe a novel like this is valuable because it is important to discuss issues of peer pressure, resilience and self-understanding.
January 17, 2009
Grade Level: 3-5
Realistic fiction - Thailand
The story teaches the struggle of a young girl who is caught between cultures. In her heart Oy respects the customs, traditions, and values of her family and culture yet she wants so much to “belong” in her new country. As Kun Mere teaches “To be alone is hard, Oy. But no friend is better than a cruel one” (p. 65). Gold-Threaded Dress was an enjoyable read. I felt Oy’s agony as she sacrificed her beautiful ceremonial dress for friendship. I cringed with Oy as the girls each destroyed the dress one by one. I felt her shame when she bravely took the blame for the incident and told the truth to her parents. I felt the connections of Oy, her mother, and Frankie, all of whom understood the heartbreak of not belonging. The book is a quick read for transitional readers. The story extends the awareness and understanding of diversity to young children. It is realistic, believable, and convincingly true to real life and is presented to young children in an unobtrusive way. The point of view helps children empathize with others who are different from them.
Realistic fiction - Thailand
The story teaches the struggle of a young girl who is caught between cultures. In her heart Oy respects the customs, traditions, and values of her family and culture yet she wants so much to “belong” in her new country. As Kun Mere teaches “To be alone is hard, Oy. But no friend is better than a cruel one” (p. 65). Gold-Threaded Dress was an enjoyable read. I felt Oy’s agony as she sacrificed her beautiful ceremonial dress for friendship. I cringed with Oy as the girls each destroyed the dress one by one. I felt her shame when she bravely took the blame for the incident and told the truth to her parents. I felt the connections of Oy, her mother, and Frankie, all of whom understood the heartbreak of not belonging. The book is a quick read for transitional readers. The story extends the awareness and understanding of diversity to young children. It is realistic, believable, and convincingly true to real life and is presented to young children in an unobtrusive way. The point of view helps children empathize with others who are different from them.
May 29, 2018
This is a timeless tale about making friends and fitting in with the crowd. Even though Oy's troubles are directly related to her culture and ceremonial dress, the stress of peer pressure us more universal.
Oy experiences a lot of frustration and lonliness in her new school. Her desire to make friends, and her irritation with mean teasing are very common. Children will be able to empathize with her dilemma.
I faced a similar dilemma when I was very young and had a similar outcome: I never became friends with the girl who had pressured me to bring something in to school and I disappointed my parents for taking it to school without asking. In the end, it was really not a big deal, but I will never forget how I felt.
Overall, this is a well-written story and a fast read. I really enjoyed it, especially since I have a Thai friend who also has the name Oy.
interesting quote:
"To be alone is hard, Oy. But no friend is better than a cruel one." (pp. 64-65)
Oy experiences a lot of frustration and lonliness in her new school. Her desire to make friends, and her irritation with mean teasing are very common. Children will be able to empathize with her dilemma.
I faced a similar dilemma when I was very young and had a similar outcome: I never became friends with the girl who had pressured me to bring something in to school and I disappointed my parents for taking it to school without asking. In the end, it was really not a big deal, but I will never forget how I felt.
Overall, this is a well-written story and a fast read. I really enjoyed it, especially since I have a Thai friend who also has the name Oy.
interesting quote:
"To be alone is hard, Oy. But no friend is better than a cruel one." (pp. 64-65)
April 12, 2019
This book really showcases the problems I faced moving from school to school and wanting to make friends so bad I just did what they said and became there slave. This book made me feel like wasn't alone.
February 12, 2025
I read this book at school and my teacher, Mrs. Vrchamis recommended it to me twice. The first time I thought it didn’t look so great but boy was I ever wrong! So finally I decided to read it!! This book was great!!! It’s full of friendship, drama and more! Definitely worth reading!!
August 16, 2008
Oy is a Thai immigrant who is just trying to fit in. Her new elementary school is not a great place to accomplish that: the girls are mean and exclusive and the annoying boy, Frankie, keeps calling her Chinese. She doesn't get much support from home, either; her mother doesn't speak English and her father is always working at the restaurant. Oy's mother would not understand Oy's troubles at school and she has never felt more alone. Then one day a picture of Oy in her special celebration dress her grandmother gave her falls out of her backpack and the other children see it. The leader of the mean girls orders Oy to bring it to school so she can and the other girls can try it on. But to do that would go against her traditions. But to not do it will leave her more left out than ever before.
This is an interesting short story about a little girl trying to establish a cultural identity. I liked the idea of the story and most of the writing itself, but it seemed a bit rushed and I think that it wouldn't have hurt to expand it a little. Nevertheless, it does paint a good picture of what it is like for immigrant children trying to adapt to a new life in a strange place.
This is an interesting short story about a little girl trying to establish a cultural identity. I liked the idea of the story and most of the writing itself, but it seemed a bit rushed and I think that it wouldn't have hurt to expand it a little. Nevertheless, it does paint a good picture of what it is like for immigrant children trying to adapt to a new life in a strange place.
February 4, 2016
Narrated by Amy Rubinate. Oy’s family moves to a new neighborhood where at her new school she is teased for being Asian. Most of the kids call her Chinese although she is from Thailand. Oy longs to be part of popular Liliandra’s playground club and make new friends. When the kids see a photograph of Oy attired in her beautiful Thai dancing dress and jewelry, Liliandra says Oy can join the club but only if she brings the dress to school. Oy is torn between her desire to fit in and keeping her dress safe at home. Rubinate reads with a compassionate, gentle tone that’s just right for the book but also makes mean girl Liliandra sound nice.
April 30, 2014
I enjoyed the cultural references to Thai culture and the accurate description of how Oy must have felt not being accepted at school. Kun Mere makes an interseting observation when she tells Oy that the girls at school wanted to try on her dress not so that they could be the same, but so they could be different. The character of Frankie is also developed well, helping readers to see that there can be more to a bully than their mean comments.
May 23, 2017
A dear friend visited several months and brought a stack of middle school books with her. Little Bee (12) and I have decided to work through the stack over the Summer. Excited to go on one last MS journey with her before she joins her sister in the world of YA.
While too young for her, we both enjoyed this very short (72 pages) read. Excellent for 3-4 graders who may encounter bullying. Situation reminds me of many both she, and I, encountered during those formative years.
While too young for her, we both enjoyed this very short (72 pages) read. Excellent for 3-4 graders who may encounter bullying. Situation reminds me of many both she, and I, encountered during those formative years.
September 23, 2019
A simple well told tale of trying to fit in and the bullies who make life so hard.
July 9, 2020
The story of wanting to fit in, finding out who real friend are, and learning to be yourself.
This is a favorite.
This is a favorite.
April 4, 2025
About midway through, I was definitely going to give the book three stars, because it felt like it was belabouring Oy's troubles dealing with ostracism and bullying (as relatively light as it is here, especially since Oy ignores it). Then it ended mostly okay, even though my emotional impulse was to value the dress highly *despite* the fact
1. it's just a dress
2. that she's going to outgrow soon anyway.
Also, was pretty predictable, though the reason why was less so. I mainly bumped up my rating because Oy both didn't lie about what happened to her parents and had a very good sense of humour about .
I like the ending, mostly, though I don't know how much I would recommend this to other "minority"* group readers. It's good for a fast read, though, especially as a book with diverse representation.
*As we approach the point where white people are no longer the majority, "minority" becomes less of an accurate descriptor. Non-white would be more accurate, but it almost feels like how LGBTQ has to keep adding additional categories for "not straight." I don't really like that ("not straight"), since I don't like being defined by what I'm not, and I assume others don't either. Definitely keeping an eye on what "minorities" become in the near future.
1. it's just a dress
2. that she's going to outgrow soon anyway.
Also, was pretty predictable, though the reason why was less so. I mainly bumped up my rating because Oy both didn't lie about what happened to her parents and had a very good sense of humour about .
I like the ending, mostly, though I don't know how much I would recommend this to other "minority"* group readers. It's good for a fast read, though, especially as a book with diverse representation.
*As we approach the point where white people are no longer the majority, "minority" becomes less of an accurate descriptor. Non-white would be more accurate, but it almost feels like how LGBTQ has to keep adding additional categories for "not straight." I don't really like that ("not straight"), since I don't like being defined by what I'm not, and I assume others don't either. Definitely keeping an eye on what "minorities" become in the near future.
October 9, 2017
Small book, appropriate for grade 2-4. My 5th grader thought this book was too short for her. The problems in the book are realistic and easily relatable. There was one problem I had, I was surprised when I found out the mother couldn’t speak English, because all this while Oy was conversing with her mother in English. Only when she said “My mother could not even understand English” that I realised she has been conversing with her mother in Thai, not English. That was slightly confusing.
May 6, 2017
Kids can be so mean. I have had enough of them making fun of others and putting them down because they are not like them. Families need to teach kindness and model it.
October 18, 2017
Sweet story about trying to fit in, and when you shouldn’t.
January 3, 2012
Terrific book for kids to help them on a lot of levels: bullying and teasing; cultural differences and acceptance; honesty; honoring family; the beauty of other cultures' traditions. Marsden showed the reader that there was wisdom in Olivia's divulging her problems at school to her family, as the family proved to be close and very understanding. I really liked the fact that it was a boy who eventually reached out to Olivia for friendship, not a girl. The boy, Frankie, had asian ancestry, too, and he understood Olivia's pain better than some. I thought the novel ended on a good note, too - upbeat and full of the positive and neverending possibilities in their new friendship.
For ages 7-9.
Booklegger grades 3/4.
For ages 7-9.
Booklegger grades 3/4.
August 14, 2012
This was a solid 3-4th grader book. It is about Oy, an immigrant from Thailand who is teased because of her 'slanty' eyes at school. She has a very special dress from Thailand and the most popular girl at school threatens Oy that if she doesn't bring the dress to school, she won't be her friend. Desperate to fit in, Oy brings the dress to school and it gets ripped and dirty from all the girls trying it on. She just wants to fit in, but she has damaged her most prized possession and fears the consequences from her parents.
This is a very short, easy read. It is a good book for showing what it feels like to not fit in and could give American kids a window into what it would be like for someone different.
This is a very short, easy read. It is a good book for showing what it feels like to not fit in and could give American kids a window into what it would be like for someone different.
December 14, 2016
This book mostly takes place at the school Oy goes to. One of the main events is when everybody is out at recess. Another is when there at the rug telling where there from. Another is when their out at recess in the club house trying on the dress.
One of the themes is Try not to let people to get you to do something your not conferrable to do. The girls at the club house wanted Oy to bring the dress but Oy didn't really want to but she did any ways. The girls at the club house wanted Oy to be in their club but Oy didn't really want to because she didn't want to leave her friend. Another example is Oy wanted to hold the class pet but she didn't want to ask to hold it.
I love this book. I love all the charters. It has a great moral to it. It is also a good read.
One of the themes is Try not to let people to get you to do something your not conferrable to do. The girls at the club house wanted Oy to bring the dress but Oy didn't really want to but she did any ways. The girls at the club house wanted Oy to be in their club but Oy didn't really want to because she didn't want to leave her friend. Another example is Oy wanted to hold the class pet but she didn't want to ask to hold it.
I love this book. I love all the charters. It has a great moral to it. It is also a good read.
March 10, 2011
As School Library Journal is quoted on the back of the book: "A simple story about the painstaking effort of trying to fit in." In this case it is Oy, a young girl from Thailand who is trying to make friends at her new school in America. However, the friendship with the most popular girl at school (from my point of view the school bully) comes at a high price: Oy's precious traditional Thai dancing dress and Oy will have to decide what is more important to her. While most young readers in international schools will easily relate to Oy's struggle, the book did not fully convince me and I prefer other titles by Carolyn Marsden such as The Jade Dragon and When Heaven Fell.
March 12, 2012
Thai-American Oy wishes she fit in with the other girls at her school. At recess they have a secret club, but she has never been invited to join them. When the girls see a picture of her dressed in a traditional Thai dress and jewelry, the ringleader of the popular girls tells Oy that if she brings the dress to school, they'll let her join their club. The knowledge that her parents would not allow this and the fear that the dress might be damaged aren't enough to sway Oy from making the wrong decision. And just as she feared, the dress is torn - and the girls all get in trouble. A good quick read about fitting in and true friendship.
December 7, 2015
Oy is a young girl from Thailand who is struggling with bullying and fitting in. When she caves into the pressure to bring her gold-threaded dress to school, it is torn and the teachers send a not home. Her mother helps her fix the dress and she finds that she doesn't need to be popular and finds friendship with Frankie.
This book is an excellent read for someone around grade 3. It has very powerful themes of friendship, peer pressure, and fitting in. It would be an excellent story in a classroom with diversity or issues with bullying to address these things and help children see how others may be feeling.
This book is an excellent read for someone around grade 3. It has very powerful themes of friendship, peer pressure, and fitting in. It would be an excellent story in a classroom with diversity or issues with bullying to address these things and help children see how others may be feeling.
March 25, 2014
This book needs more than 5 stars! I haven't enough words to explain how beautiful this book is! The dress is a perfect metaphor for the beauty of this book. Though it is indeed a sweet coming-of-age story, it's also a good lesson for readers of ALL ages about seeing others through open eyes! People of all cultures and backgrounds have something beautiful to share, if only we learn to see it. (Instead of being like the girls in the story, "big, and in a hurry, and greedy") Such a simple lesson, really, but one we must continue to re-learn throughout our lifetime.
February 23, 2010
This book remind of me when I was first came to United State to study, it was complicated to change things like the living,food,people,etc. and also remind me of wearing those beautiful dress! I like how the main character wrote Thai Letter to her grandma.. I like how she wrote it because it shown that Oy still love her own culture even though she lives in different country. But I dont get it why people in school have to make fun of her?! because she different or something ? I dont get it?
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April 4, 2016Groundbreaking Book, Lovely Read
The Gold-Threaded Dress is an important book as it describes the experience of many Thai descendants in the United States. Written from child's perspective, it shows positive and challenging, at times racist, interactions that happen when growing up in the USA. The reality comes through sweetly and authentically in Marsden's writing, which is accessible and no-nonsense for readers. This book is one-of-a-kind and worth reading again and again.
The Gold-Threaded Dress is an important book as it describes the experience of many Thai descendants in the United States. Written from child's perspective, it shows positive and challenging, at times racist, interactions that happen when growing up in the USA. The reality comes through sweetly and authentically in Marsden's writing, which is accessible and no-nonsense for readers. This book is one-of-a-kind and worth reading again and again.
January 19, 2016
Read for library's battle of the books. Would be a great book for kids to discuss bullying and multiculturalism. Understand where the author came from and why it was written the way it was, but it still irritates me that Oy gets in trouble for "provoking inappropriate behavior" on the playground when Liliandra is the one that got undressed in the first place to put the dress on and then ruined it. Just need to realize that I'm too adult and take things too seriously.
January 14, 2011
Great story! Full of heart; Thai-born Oy struggles to fit in her American classroom. The kids tease her and tell her she's Chinese. When the resident mean girl promises to include her if Oy will bring her precious gold-threaded dress to school and let her try it on, Oy discovers friends come from unexpected places. Lovely, focused tale with believable characters.
June 17, 2008
Use with 3/4 graders. Good tale not only in being a new student and trying to fit in, and being so desperate that you do things you're not sure you'll do. Also message on how hard young immigrant children work to make their parents proud - or at least - not add to their worries.
June 17, 2012
Oy is an immigrant from Thailand. Her parents came to the States so her father could make better money as a cook. In this story, a mean girl wants Oy to bring her beautiful Thai dress to school, or Oy can not be in the girl's club.
I liked the surprise at the end. I was not expecting it!
I liked the surprise at the end. I was not expecting it!
April 26, 2016
I like this title and its prequel for how it addresses the second generation immigrant who tries to acclimate to US culture while having the old country's culture at home. Great for school age kids in 3-5th grade.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 44 reviews