The Sweet Potato Queens' Field Guide to Men: Every Man I Love Is Either Married, Gay, or Dead

Sweet Potato Queens #4

by Jill Conner Browne

If the Nobel committee offered awards in Gender Relations, the Sweet Potato Queens would have the prize all locked up. These fine ladies have devoted an absolutely inordinate amount of time to the pursuit of love, marriage, and great sex, and they’re just bursting to share their stories. Now their royal ringleader, bestselling author Jill Conner Browne, brings you The Sweet Potato Queens’ Field Guide to Men , a hilarious (and highly instructive) handbook about the men we love to hate, and the ones we love to love, with special revelations

Why he didn’t call
The sweetest revenge ever
The downright crazy things we will do for romance

Plus, memorable tales of Queenly dating adventures, the shameless lowdown on looking as young as you feel, and more royal recipes that are guaranteed to bring him home each and every night.

Genres: Humor, Nonfiction, Southern, Chick Lit, Relationships, Essays, Literature

241 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2004

About the author

Jill Conner Browne is the multiple #1 New York Times bestselling author of nine Sweet Potato Queens® books and has created a global phenomenon--6,200 chapter groups in 37 countries--based upon her philosophy and world-view as recounted through these rollicking, raucous and riotously funny essays. Women and smart men understand that the bawdy, sassy, down-to-earth humor is simply the vehicle by which the greater message is conveyed--that is, one of self-reliance and empowerment, inspiring all to do what makes their hearts sing.

Reviews

[Dione Basseri · Rating 2 out of 5]

I feel like this is the SPQ book I wind up being most critical of. While a goodly portion of Browne's previous books revolve around the relationships between men and women, there's at least some non-relationship stuff that helps dilute the sexism throughout the texts. And I'm talking about sexism which harms both men and women. Browne definitely has a more second-wave "feminism" focus. Basically, men are scum, and if you treat them like scum they'll do whatever you want. Which is...really disappointing for something published post 2000.

If you go into this more well-adjusted in third-wave feminism, the entire thing just grates. There's a few funny stories which are just relating real-life events, but they're so few that they're less oasis in a desert and more a camel's piss-puddle.

I can't give this just one star, cause I was entertained, at times, but I'd say this is one of those books I wouldn't want any of my friends to know I've read. I just hope Browne finds something a bit more amusing to make fun of them gender stereotypes.

[Bayneeta · Rating 1 out of 5]

Not a match for my sense of humor. Over the top raunchy (and, I swear, I am not a prude!). I haven't read anything else in this series, but I've been told others in series are better.

[Eva · Rating 5 out of 5]

Men have finally been analyzed and qualified in this laugh-out-loud funny book. Men are not from Mars and women from Venus. Men are spuds and women are yams. Jill carefully describes each type of spud so you can identify them when you come across them. From the Dud Spud to the Spud Stud, they are all here, with anecdotes from the Sweet Potato Queens who have dated them and, sometimes, accidentally married one.

I read choice sections aloud to my own Spud, who howled at the descriptions and antics. Don't be afraid to recommend this to your men friends, for one of Jill's Bud Spuds calls it a great guide to how to get laid. It lets men know how women view them, what we like and are looking for and what we don't.

Also included is very good advice on where to find the Spud you've been looking for and what to do once you've harvested him. Seriously, this book is tooooo funny. Read it.

[Megan · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is Browne's fourth self-help/advice/humor book for women. This one (like most others) deals with men. Browne tells you the five men that you must have in your life (things she's touched on previously), more crap about the blowjob Promise (this just doesn't die), stuff on why your interested date doesn't seemed too interested in you and how to get him back. Really it's all stuff she's talked about before in the three previous books she's written. That doesn't mean this book was humorous. It was just repetitive after reading her other books.

[Louann · Rating 5 out of 5]

HILARIOUS!!!! I had the CD and laughed all the way down the road. She gets a little...ahem...risque in parts but it is all good-natured. I will def be getting all her books now. I highly recommend the CD as she reads and has a wonderful southern drawl that makes the book all the more enjoyable. I heard a comment in here that I had not heard since my childhood in small town Texas: Yank a knot in your ass (or tail). LOL!!

[Whitney 'Thompson' Jenkins · Rating 3 out of 5]

These books are hilarious

[Kimberly · Rating 4 out of 5]

I just love diving into the Sweet Potato Queen culture....and yep, I want to be a Shazam Yam! Fabulous on audio.

[Kevin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Browne's fourth training manual for belles gone bad is a Southern-fried delight. It's ostensibly a guide to men, but it doesn't take long for the book's focus to return to the care, feeding, maintenance and revenge secrets of the SPQs. Men (or "spuds") are classified in categories including the platonic "Bud Spud," the beautiful-but-dense "Scud Spud," the shouldn't-wear-bikinis "Pud Spud" and the elusive "Spud Spud" (aka "Mr. Right" or "The One"). Browne is at her laugh-till-it-hurts best detailing her adventures having an eye- and facelift ("I have pretty much adopted plastic surgery as my hobby"), bowling ("There are few things in life... with a cringe-and-gag factor to rival that of putting rented shoes on one's own personal feet") and losing weight (temporarily) with acupuncture ("We would—and have—done anything to lose weight, except, of course, the obvious one: changing our eating habits"). As usual, there are also mouth-watering recipes for those with steel arteries. One bacon, cheese and cracker concoction advises a cooling off period "for maximum reabsorption of any grease that may have inadvertently escaped during baking." This is a high-caloric treat.

NOW A REVIEW OF THE ABRIDGED AUDIOBOOK READ BY THE AUTHOR:

Browne's fourth venture into chronicling Southern belles gone bad shows no signs of exhausting the topic; her reservoir of hilarious advice and empowering stories are still fresh and funny. There are five categories of men "you must have in your life—one to talk to, one to dance with, one who can pay for things, one to have great sex with and one who can fix things." Offering tips on where to find eligible men, Browne suggests Home Depot, bookstores (where she met her new husband, The Cutest Boy in the World), post-funeral feeds and "class reunions after number 25 or so are hot beds of, well, hot beds." As for dating older men, Browne coos, "I've long been a proponent of this concept on account of the opportunity it affords us to be young and cute forever." Although the Queens are best known for their all-purpose problem solver of "The Promise" (of oral sex), equally useful is the sage observation that "No compliment is too outrageous for a man to believe." Browne narrates with an assured, relaxed drawl—she writes exactly as she speaks, making her the perfect raconteur. This is the first time Random has not issued Browne's work unabridged. Obviously, they forgot Mae West's adage, "Too much of a good thing can be wonderful."

[Tabby Kat · Rating 5 out of 5]

Browne's fourth training manual for belles gone bad is a Southern-fried delight. It's ostensibly a guide to men, but it doesn't take long for the book's focus to return to the care, feeding, maintenance and revenge secrets of the SPQs. Men (or "spuds") are classified in categories including the platonic "Bud Spud," the beautiful-but-dense "Scud Spud," the shouldn't-wear-bikinis "Pud Spud" and the elusive "Spud Spud" (aka "Mr. Right" or "The One"). Browne is at her laugh-till-it-hurts best detailing her adventures having an eye- and facelift ("I have pretty much adopted plastic surgery as my hobby"), bowling ("There are few things in life... with a cringe-and-gag factor to rival that of putting rented shoes on one's own personal feet") and losing weight (temporarily) with acupuncture ("We would—and have—done anything to lose weight, except, of course, the obvious one: changing our eating habits"). As usual, there are also mouth-watering recipes for those with steel arteries. One bacon, cheese and cracker concoction advises a cooling off period "for maximum reabsorption of any grease that may have inadvertently escaped during baking." This is a high-caloric treat.

[Lana. · Rating 3 out of 5]

A quick read with plenty of cheap laughs, The Sweet Potato Queens' Field Guide to Men definitely made bus rides a little more tolerable. But one has to get through / overlook some rather bad puns regarding "Spuds" (men) and "Yams" (women) and other saccharine terms of endearment.

Similar to "He's Just Not That Into You", "The Guide to Men" has some fairly good advice along the "Don't bother obsessing, just concentrate on having fun and being absolutely fabulous" variety. All mixed with a "girl power" and "yay girlfriend" sentiment worthy of "Ya-Ya Sisterhood" - with an unapologetic mentions ex-husbands and plastic surgery.

The final section (Part V) also includes some artery clogging recipes that I enventually skipped (if you've gotten this far and enjoy bacon, cheese, and more bacon - this part might be worth reading).

Again - fun, but I don't plan on joining this particular bandwagon.

[L. · Rating 3 out of 5]

A bit like the last book and quite cliche but funny. I am not one for reducing the opposite sex into neat categories, unless I am drunk with my knitting buddies. I agree that there are men who need killing and most men do not understand the purpose of a hamper. A few days ago a few friends and I went on a tear about wet towels on the bed. The author should have put a caveat that these annoying behaviors show up during the teenage years and if you don't stop it early the damage will be irreversible. My husband is 42, can't use a hamper, and leaves wet towels on any available surface, including the bed I am sleeping on at the time. (No, he doesn't need killing, just hit with a chair in the face occasionally.)
All in all this is a good road trip/ housecleaning book to listen to. I suggest listening to it as the author does the honors and adds just the right amount of attitude to the writing.

[Jenny · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was so incredibly hilarious, I must've looked like a lunatic lmao in the middle of bumper-to-bumper rush-hour traffic, but it was a definite good choice since I was lmao instead of being irritated to high heaven by the traffic.

Also, the audio-book version I had was read by Jill herself, so it gave it an extra special umph to hear it told in her accent and with her own inflection to it.

It really felt like sitting down and having a chat with a wiser, honest, and really old friend that has known you too long to b-s you, but who has a fantastic sense of humor.

[Patrice Doten · Rating 4 out of 5]

A friend loaned me this book, which I accepted with skepticism. I'm not a fan of the women-ripping-on-men genre, and much of what passes as literary humor these days fails to move me (unless you count eye-rolls). SPQ's Field Guide To Men starts out slow and I feared the worst. Thankfully, I kept reading because it is HILARIOUS! I earned some askance looks on the bus ride to work, shaking with laughter that I tried (somewhat unsuccessfully) to keep silent. The other riders probably wondered if I was working my way up to a Grand Mal. I’ll definitely be reading the other SPQ books!

[Julia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hilarious and so true. I got this as an audiobook from the library for my 45 minute commute to and from work and finished it in a couple of days. It causes belly-aching laughter and weird looks by oncoming traffic wondering why you are grinning ear to ear riding down the road by yourself. This is truly a perfect gift for a girl going away to college to get the true information on the different "spuds" out there and the ones to stay away from. Loved it and can't wait to listen to other Sweet Potato Queen collections.

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

I am apparently some sort of charter member of the Sweet Potato Queens, an international collection of fabulous outspoken women. The Head Boss Queen, Jill Connor Browne, has written five or six great books on a variety of subjects - this one's is, obviously, men. You know that old saying, "Men: can't live with `em, can't live without `em"? Well, Jill and her Queens tell you how to do both with a lot of humor and attitude.

[Staci Magnolia]

I picked this one up on the sale rack at Borders during a time when I needed some female empowerment in the male department. If you're looking for a humorous how-to and how-not-to snag your perfect "spud" this is the ideal text.
Since it had been sitting in my beach bag without much use, and given the fact I believe I have found my own perfect spud, I think I shan't have use for it any longer......

[Myra · Rating 2 out of 5]

Normally, I love the SPQ books. However, this one sort of dragged on, and I found myself just not as interested as I usually am. Don't get me wrong, the book is still full of the normal witticisms and trashy humor that are trademarks of the author - it just wasn't as good as the first three SPQ books that I've read.

[Christine Whitney · Rating 3 out of 5]

Fairly funny.. I am a little to young and married to be part of the intended audience, but it is funny nonetheless. The book ends with several artery clogging recipes. The gist is good, so for those that are in bad relationships later in life, this book is for you, or a good one to give your friends!

[Linda · Rating 3 out of 5]

The first 50 pages were a little slow, but the book got better later on. Still wasn't as funny as I'd hoped. Her very first book was the best. I've wanted to be a Sweet Potato Queen ever since I read the first book. I wish I'd had someone to teach me the Queens' take on men and life while I was still a larvae.

[Cheryl · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was a little raunchier than I was expecting, although it was quite funny. Made for a nice light and quick read when that was all I could manage. Could have done without the heavy-handed application of the "f" word, but otherwise enjoyed the little tales of how difficult men can be and how best to get, or get rid of, or get even with, said men.

[Vickie · Rating 5 out of 5]

O MY GOD!! If you need a snort laugh, get any and all from the Sweet Potato Queen's series of books! I listen to them as audiobooks and they are all narrated by the author and I wouldn't have anyone else do the job. She is PERFECT! Wry and Southern....great combo.

[Larissa · Rating 3 out of 5]

" 'Aint it the truth?" say so many women as a reaction to this title!

This was the first book I picked up in the months that followed my daughter's birth & my return to work. Laughter really is the best medicine! (Even if this one wasn't as funny as the previous ones)

[Mitsi · Rating 5 out of 5]

I picked up this book one day just before boarding a flight. I laughed OUT LOUD the entire flight. People thought I was crazy. It's just good fun, good laughs, some poignant moments,and really good recipes! lol

[Beth · Rating 2 out of 5]

I keep trying to get into these books but I can't. I mean, they're cute and fun, but just not my thing. I'll try the one about kids since I often want to sell mine as well. Maybe i'll like that one more.

[Jules · Rating 3 out of 5]

I also read this book via audio text on my road trip from Vegas to Florida. It was entertaining, but I don't know if I would've been able to actually read it as opposed to listening to someone read it...the author did a good job reading it.

[Stephanie O’ · Rating 3 out of 5]

I heard Jill Conner Browne talk on a radio show and she was hilarious. Her book is equally funny, but I listened to the audiobook and though she reads it herself, it was kinda lackluster. She sounds nervous and slightly monotone. But it's funny, and I'd like to read some of her other stuff.

[Della Scott · Rating 3 out of 5]

No need to recommend--I went through ugh my SPQ phase several years ago and read most of the books. Cute, light, entertaining. They are definitely right about one thing--everybody needs more resons to wear a tiara.

[Anne Scruggs · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was yet again a very cute book with a lot of funny & some serious as well. I loved all the recipes with either bacon or cream cheese/coolwhip. These books make my drive to & from daycare for Colin a little bit more bareable.

[Stefan Jung · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book the same as I have the previous Sweet Potato Queens books I've read. The book is a laugh out loud funny send-up of the ups and downs of the modern dating world and the battle of the sexes. Jill Conner Browne is a gifted comedienne and writer!

[Holly · Rating 3 out of 5]

Pretty funny book on understanding the male species from the Southern Woman's point of view. Easy to read NC-17 guide on the maintenance of men including a witty chapter on revenge in the event your relationship tanks.