The Size Spies

The Size Spies #1

by Jan Needle, Roy Bentley (Illustrator)

Little wear to boards. Content bright with slight toning to endpapers. Good DJ with slight surface soiling.

156 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1978

About the author

Jan Needle has written more than forty books, including novels for adults and children and literary criticism. He also writes plays for stage, TV and radio, including serials and series like Grange Hill, The Bill and Brookside. His first novel, Wild Wood, is a retelling of The Wind in the Willows with Toad, Rat, Mole and Co as the ‘villains’ - a sort of undeserving rural squirearchy – and the stoats and weasels as heroes. A new version was brought out recently by Golden Duck, with the original wonderful illustrations by the late Willie Rushton.

Although he is currently working on a film of perhaps his most celebrated children’s book, My Mate Shofiq, Jan has recently been concentrating on historical novels about his first and most enduring love, the sea, and a series of extremely gritty thrillers. His aim has always been to transcend standard genre writing, which has sometimes brought him disapproval. The ‘hero’ of his first naval fiction, A Fine Boy for Killing, is a borderline sadist, and life on the frigate Welfare undermines almost every heroic myth popularized by earlier writers. Loved or hated, his novels refuse to be ignored.

His thrillers are also firmly in the ‘noir’ spectrum. The most recent is The Bonus Boys, which features a hard-as-nails investigator called Andrew Forbes and his Scottish lover Rosanna ‘the Mouse’ Nixon, who first appeared in Kicking Off, a chilling warning about the fissile state of Britain’s crumbling prisons. More are in the pipeline, as are additions to a series of novellas about crime, the 18th century navy, and the secret world of spies and spying. Even the possibility that Napoleon escaped from his exile on St Helena is examined. Like many ‘mere conspiracy theories’ it uncovers some extraordinary possibilities.

Jan also attempts, in conjunction with Walker Books, to widen the readership for certain classic novels. They include so far Moby Dick, Dracula, the Hunchback of Notre Dame, and The Woman in White, all aimed at a young adult audience . In his spare time, he sails boats and plays a variety of musical instruments.

Reviews

[Capn · Rating 3 out of 5]

It is not every day the cat catches a mouse an puts it in your boot. It's not every day the cuckoo clock pinches your breakfast sausage. It's not every day the dog eats your comic and blows a fuse. But to George and Cynthia, stuck out on the Yorkshire Moors with a totally mad professor and a huge (not to say tiny) problem, these little things just about put the tin lid on it. Something's got to happen, and it's got to happen NOW!
Cover illustration by Roy Bentley.

ISBN 9780006717010, U.K. 1.75, Canada $3.50

Inside summary continues from "NOW!":

Well it does. Before they know exactly what's hit them, they're in the thick of an absolutely lunatic adventure, involving spies, dangerous inventions, two peculiar boys called Jugears and Mophead, and a set of stolen parents. Before much longer they're got themselves into a right old mess.
The Size Spies is very exciting, and a lot of fun. But watch out - it could happen to you!

"Cynthia and George manage to keep sane in a world of crazy grown-ups including the professor, inventor of the machine which has accidentally shrunk their parents, and the British government (which doesn't believe in children). 8—12. Good read aloud."
- Books for Keeps, 4 Sept 1980

Well... it hasn't aged well. It's partly the technology to blame, but also just the march of time. The whole thing would have been funnier while Thatcher was still in office and the Cold War still in the public subconscious.

I have to admit that I found the style rather jarring, too. And I don't think I cracked a single smile - the humour was largely satirical and contemporary to 1980.

I did enjoy seeing the Ey Up of the Yorkshire dialect in text (also Ee and thee (not thysen, though), but no By Gum). The Moors were a bleak and boggy and frigid setting, and London a technological marvel of traffic and central heating and football hooligans. There were jokes about gender neutral roles in careers which were not offensive by today's standards, but were from such a different historical perspective that I was rendered bemused. If I wasn't sick to death over politics at the moment, I might have spent more time ruminating over that one.

At one point they accidentally travel to hell, but manage to get out before they ever really get in. There are electric pets and a smart-alec computer which speaks in verse. There is some very questionable parenting. There's a nutty Professor (I'm wondering how different he is to Professor Branestawm - I have that omnibus awaiting me, too).

It's all quite madcap. Unfortunately, Douglas Adams didn't write it. (If you want dated-tech and a good laugh, Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency is where you should head next).

There's a great line where the Professor says to the kids that as soon as he heard the Government speak of peace, he knew they were plotting war. And it's the only point in the story where the kids aren't wiser than the adults. It was strangely out of place in relation to the rest of this comic story, but I think it was an excellent note on which to end.

[Sophie Langley · Rating 4 out of 5]

A really good and funny book.