What do you think?
Rate this book
Sexual Detox: A Guide for Guys Who Are Sick of Porn
Sick of porn? Time to detox.
A huge percentage of men need a porn detox, a moral and psychological reset. Do you? If so, whether you know it or not, pornography has corrupted your thinking, weakened your conscience, warped your sense of right and wrong, and twisted your understanding and expectations of sexuality. You need a reset by the One who created sex.
In this book, I hope to help you reorient your understanding of sex, both in the big picture and in the act itself, according to God's plan for this great gift. I want to help you detox from all the junk you've seen, all the lies you've believed. This is not an easy process. It is rarely a quick process. It involves a letting go of old realities and an embrace of a new normal. To be willing to go through it you need to see how bad your current situation really is, and how the path you are on leads no place good. You need to see that the path of porn leads only to more isolation, guilt, alienation, and pain. Whether single or married, such a reset to normal is the only thing that can ever equip you to become a pure, loving, attentive, sacrificial husband.
But you already know you need to change. Few Christian men indulge in porn without realizing they need to quit. Every Christian guy who looks at porn wants to stop, but many of us want to stop just a little bit less than we want to keep going. The problem isn't knowledge-it's desire and ability. So sin prevails.
Here's a promise. You'll never stop until you begin to see the monstrous nature of the sin you're committing. You'll never stop until the sin is more horrifying to you than the commission of the sin is enjoyable. You'll need to hate that sin before you can find freedom from it. That means you need more grace. You need to cry out to be changed and to see the monstrous nature of this sin. And then you need to behave in faith that God will meet you with grace as you act to cut off the porn and begin the reset.
-Tim Challies
A huge percentage of men need a porn detox, a moral and psychological reset. Do you? If so, whether you know it or not, pornography has corrupted your thinking, weakened your conscience, warped your sense of right and wrong, and twisted your understanding and expectations of sexuality. You need a reset by the One who created sex.
In this book, I hope to help you reorient your understanding of sex, both in the big picture and in the act itself, according to God's plan for this great gift. I want to help you detox from all the junk you've seen, all the lies you've believed. This is not an easy process. It is rarely a quick process. It involves a letting go of old realities and an embrace of a new normal. To be willing to go through it you need to see how bad your current situation really is, and how the path you are on leads no place good. You need to see that the path of porn leads only to more isolation, guilt, alienation, and pain. Whether single or married, such a reset to normal is the only thing that can ever equip you to become a pure, loving, attentive, sacrificial husband.
But you already know you need to change. Few Christian men indulge in porn without realizing they need to quit. Every Christian guy who looks at porn wants to stop, but many of us want to stop just a little bit less than we want to keep going. The problem isn't knowledge-it's desire and ability. So sin prevails.
Here's a promise. You'll never stop until you begin to see the monstrous nature of the sin you're committing. You'll never stop until the sin is more horrifying to you than the commission of the sin is enjoyable. You'll need to hate that sin before you can find freedom from it. That means you need more grace. You need to cry out to be changed and to see the monstrous nature of this sin. And then you need to behave in faith that God will meet you with grace as you act to cut off the porn and begin the reset.
-Tim Challies
108 pages, Paperback
First published October 1, 2010
151 people are currently reading
491 people want to read
About the author
Tim Challies
62 books1,570 followersTim Challies is a leading evangelical blogger. A self-employed web designer, Tim lives in the outskirts of Toronto, Ontario with his wife and children.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 120 reviews
December 27, 2020
Obligado leerlo por todos los hombres
Es bueno encontrar libros que abiertamente hablen acerca de lo que la mayoría de hombres luchamos ya sea en el presente o pasado. Recomendable para todo hombre, para que podamos ver lo terrible del pecado sexual.
Es bueno encontrar libros que abiertamente hablen acerca de lo que la mayoría de hombres luchamos ya sea en el presente o pasado. Recomendable para todo hombre, para que podamos ver lo terrible del pecado sexual.
August 28, 2023
Excellent book written to men that does a great job of explaining why porn is unhealthy.
Some quotes I underlined:
When you indulge in sexual sin, it reveals what you truly believe about sexuality. You believe that the pleasure of sin is better than the pleasure of obeying God by enjoying sex the way God created it to be enjoyed. You believe that the pleasure you derive from your sin is greater than the consequences your sin will have on you and those around you. You believe that your momentary pleasure is greater than the rewards the Lord has for you- both in this life and the life to come.
It is actually far more difficult to avoid pornography than it is to find it.
Because of porn, even prostitutes are finding their world changing. Acts that were once culturally forbidden because of their exceedingly vulgar and degrading nature are now accepted as legitimate forms of sexual expression.
God created sex for us. He created sexuality for something greater. You need to track down the lies you have believed about sex, so those lies can be replaced by truth that comes straight from God.
Detox is a reset to normal, a return to health. It’s a reversal of a corrupting, polluting process. It gets you back to where you ought to be.
Whether you are single or married, such a reset to normal is the only thing that can equip you to ever become a pure, loving, attentive, sacrificial husband.
You will never stop until you begin to see the monstrous nature of the sin you are committing. You will never stop until the sin is more horrifying to you than the commission of the sin is enjoyable. You will need to hate that sin before you can find freedom from it.
Pornography makes a mockery of God’s intention for sex. Indeed, all the messages of pornography go directly against God’s purposes.
Where God says the purpose of sex it to build unity between a husband and a wife, pornography says it is about fulfilling any perceived need with any partner, willing or unwilling. Indeed, pornography teaches that sex is everything except intimate body-to-body, soul-to-soul contact between will spouses.
God says sexual desire is good in a controlled context because it urges a man to pursue his wife ( and a wife her husband). Pornography says sexual desire cannot and should not be controlled, but should be allowed to draw us to anyone we find attractive.
Pornography is progressive.
You cannot be a loving husband, an effective husband, or a godly man as long as your mind is filled with the lies of pornography.
You think you’ve been controlling your sin, but it has actually been controlling you. Subtly, unrelentingly, it has reshaped your mind and your heart in very real ways.
Pornography is an area where it’s especially important to be honest.
When the author of the book meets a young man, he assumes he either is or was into pornography. It’s an accessibility problem. Porn is so prevalent that it’s nearly certain that a young man will find it, and once it has been tasted, it is difficult not to indulge.
Indulging in pornography is a form of psychological isolation, a withdrawal into a tiny world of self-gratification. It is a kind of sexual expression that makes your appetites much larger even as your world gets much smaller.
Getting free and staying free are different things, but they involve the same process: Repentance, putting off the old, and putting on the new. You need to practice all three, on a regular basis, for the rest of your life. Sorry. That’s how it is.
Masturbation strips sexuality of its divine purpose of mutual fulfillment.
Sex is inherently good because it was created by a good God. God forbids pre-marital sex (fornication), extra-marital sex (adulatory), and selfish sex (masturbation). All these things make a mockery of the real thing. All these things abuse his good gift.
God gives a man sexual desire and a sexual appetite because he wants him to have sex with his wife. Husbands and wives are to have sex often, and are not to refuse one another this special gift. The only exception is in 1 Cor 7:5 which says there may be a brief pause for specific, limited purposes.
God made sex for marriage and marriage for sex.
This same desire motivates a man (in part) to keep pursuing his wife even after they are married. Sexual desire is a gift of God, not to torment us, but to motivate our obedience. When a husband inevitably feels sexual desire, it is not an invitation to pornography and masturbation, but a nudge toward pursuing his wife. A man can lead his wife, taking the initiative, taking care to love her, so as to draw her toward wanting to have sex with him.
Generally speaking, a man finds intimacy and acceptance through sex while a woman needs to first experience intimacy and acceptance before she can be prepared to enjoy sex.
It all begins with a powerful combination: a man’s sexual appetite, plus his love for his wife, plus the sexual liberties granted them by virtue of marriage. These are wonderful things, but if they are all the husband sees, he will end up being a sexual bully toward the woman God has given him to love and cherish. He needs to recognize and learn to navigate the differences in how he and his wife experience intimacy and acceptance.
The husband has a desire that only the wife can meet. Therefore, he takes the lead in seeking to fulfill that desire. He does this by meeting the desires of his wife that will, in turn, cause her to see and appreciate and eventually fulfill his desires. And then, in that act of consummation, God grants a grace that surpasses the mere union of flesh and blood.
We have grown accustomed to learning through screens, communicating through screens, even worshipping through screens. Many have grown accustomed to experiencing sex through them as well.
Remember that most pornography is designed to incite lust in a particular kind of person— one already calloused against what is good and pure. Porn is created to arouse the hardened heart, not the tender heart.
We must put off that which is of the flesh and in its place put on that which is of the Spirit. We have to be about the business of putting sin to death.
The male struggle against sexual temptation is essentially universal.
The Bible calls an unmarried man to be intoxicated with no woman. And it calls a married man to be intoxicated, not with just any woman or a series of women, but with one woman: the wife of his youth. Every time you look at pornography, every time you give in to lust, you are diminishing your ability to be focused on one woman, intoxicated in her love and finding your joys and satisfaction in her alone.
When you sin sexually, whether before marriage or during marriage, you pile all kinds of baggage onto the backs of that present or future marriage relationship. As a result, the relationship is forced to carry a weight that is unnecessarily heavy and unnecessarily complicating.
Charles Spurgeon says whenever you are exposed to any trial...mind that you do not try to escape from it in any wrong way. Think of the Israelites. They went through the Red Sea. It would have been a great pity if they had tried to escape by any way of their own, or had attempted to turn around and fight Pharaoh. God made a way to escape and it was through the Red Sea.
Some quotes I underlined:
When you indulge in sexual sin, it reveals what you truly believe about sexuality. You believe that the pleasure of sin is better than the pleasure of obeying God by enjoying sex the way God created it to be enjoyed. You believe that the pleasure you derive from your sin is greater than the consequences your sin will have on you and those around you. You believe that your momentary pleasure is greater than the rewards the Lord has for you- both in this life and the life to come.
It is actually far more difficult to avoid pornography than it is to find it.
Because of porn, even prostitutes are finding their world changing. Acts that were once culturally forbidden because of their exceedingly vulgar and degrading nature are now accepted as legitimate forms of sexual expression.
God created sex for us. He created sexuality for something greater. You need to track down the lies you have believed about sex, so those lies can be replaced by truth that comes straight from God.
Detox is a reset to normal, a return to health. It’s a reversal of a corrupting, polluting process. It gets you back to where you ought to be.
Whether you are single or married, such a reset to normal is the only thing that can equip you to ever become a pure, loving, attentive, sacrificial husband.
You will never stop until you begin to see the monstrous nature of the sin you are committing. You will never stop until the sin is more horrifying to you than the commission of the sin is enjoyable. You will need to hate that sin before you can find freedom from it.
Pornography makes a mockery of God’s intention for sex. Indeed, all the messages of pornography go directly against God’s purposes.
Where God says the purpose of sex it to build unity between a husband and a wife, pornography says it is about fulfilling any perceived need with any partner, willing or unwilling. Indeed, pornography teaches that sex is everything except intimate body-to-body, soul-to-soul contact between will spouses.
God says sexual desire is good in a controlled context because it urges a man to pursue his wife ( and a wife her husband). Pornography says sexual desire cannot and should not be controlled, but should be allowed to draw us to anyone we find attractive.
Pornography is progressive.
You cannot be a loving husband, an effective husband, or a godly man as long as your mind is filled with the lies of pornography.
You think you’ve been controlling your sin, but it has actually been controlling you. Subtly, unrelentingly, it has reshaped your mind and your heart in very real ways.
Pornography is an area where it’s especially important to be honest.
When the author of the book meets a young man, he assumes he either is or was into pornography. It’s an accessibility problem. Porn is so prevalent that it’s nearly certain that a young man will find it, and once it has been tasted, it is difficult not to indulge.
Indulging in pornography is a form of psychological isolation, a withdrawal into a tiny world of self-gratification. It is a kind of sexual expression that makes your appetites much larger even as your world gets much smaller.
Getting free and staying free are different things, but they involve the same process: Repentance, putting off the old, and putting on the new. You need to practice all three, on a regular basis, for the rest of your life. Sorry. That’s how it is.
Masturbation strips sexuality of its divine purpose of mutual fulfillment.
Sex is inherently good because it was created by a good God. God forbids pre-marital sex (fornication), extra-marital sex (adulatory), and selfish sex (masturbation). All these things make a mockery of the real thing. All these things abuse his good gift.
God gives a man sexual desire and a sexual appetite because he wants him to have sex with his wife. Husbands and wives are to have sex often, and are not to refuse one another this special gift. The only exception is in 1 Cor 7:5 which says there may be a brief pause for specific, limited purposes.
God made sex for marriage and marriage for sex.
This same desire motivates a man (in part) to keep pursuing his wife even after they are married. Sexual desire is a gift of God, not to torment us, but to motivate our obedience. When a husband inevitably feels sexual desire, it is not an invitation to pornography and masturbation, but a nudge toward pursuing his wife. A man can lead his wife, taking the initiative, taking care to love her, so as to draw her toward wanting to have sex with him.
Generally speaking, a man finds intimacy and acceptance through sex while a woman needs to first experience intimacy and acceptance before she can be prepared to enjoy sex.
It all begins with a powerful combination: a man’s sexual appetite, plus his love for his wife, plus the sexual liberties granted them by virtue of marriage. These are wonderful things, but if they are all the husband sees, he will end up being a sexual bully toward the woman God has given him to love and cherish. He needs to recognize and learn to navigate the differences in how he and his wife experience intimacy and acceptance.
The husband has a desire that only the wife can meet. Therefore, he takes the lead in seeking to fulfill that desire. He does this by meeting the desires of his wife that will, in turn, cause her to see and appreciate and eventually fulfill his desires. And then, in that act of consummation, God grants a grace that surpasses the mere union of flesh and blood.
We have grown accustomed to learning through screens, communicating through screens, even worshipping through screens. Many have grown accustomed to experiencing sex through them as well.
Remember that most pornography is designed to incite lust in a particular kind of person— one already calloused against what is good and pure. Porn is created to arouse the hardened heart, not the tender heart.
We must put off that which is of the flesh and in its place put on that which is of the Spirit. We have to be about the business of putting sin to death.
The male struggle against sexual temptation is essentially universal.
The Bible calls an unmarried man to be intoxicated with no woman. And it calls a married man to be intoxicated, not with just any woman or a series of women, but with one woman: the wife of his youth. Every time you look at pornography, every time you give in to lust, you are diminishing your ability to be focused on one woman, intoxicated in her love and finding your joys and satisfaction in her alone.
When you sin sexually, whether before marriage or during marriage, you pile all kinds of baggage onto the backs of that present or future marriage relationship. As a result, the relationship is forced to carry a weight that is unnecessarily heavy and unnecessarily complicating.
Charles Spurgeon says whenever you are exposed to any trial...mind that you do not try to escape from it in any wrong way. Think of the Israelites. They went through the Red Sea. It would have been a great pity if they had tried to escape by any way of their own, or had attempted to turn around and fight Pharaoh. God made a way to escape and it was through the Red Sea.
April 4, 2022
The first time I saw this book on Ligonier conference last year. I hesitated to buy it because I didn’t want the cashier and the people around her saw me with a book about porn struggle. I was too prideful to buy this book.
This book is easy to read and we can finish it in one sitting.
I love chapter 3 as I found many people argued that masturbations are good and healthy. I used to argue the same by also adding some proofs scientifically. But it was completely wrong.
I thank Tim Challies for providing challenging discussions so I can reflect and examine my heart.
His five-right-questions are like cherry on the top. And those cherries are glazed with 4 different sauces of unusual bible verses about purity.
This book is easy to read and we can finish it in one sitting.
I love chapter 3 as I found many people argued that masturbations are good and healthy. I used to argue the same by also adding some proofs scientifically. But it was completely wrong.
I thank Tim Challies for providing challenging discussions so I can reflect and examine my heart.
His five-right-questions are like cherry on the top. And those cherries are glazed with 4 different sauces of unusual bible verses about purity.
March 14, 2014
Warning: This review is not rated G.
Every man deals with sexual temptation and Tim Challies believes that nearly every male struggles with pornography at some point in his life. He even assumes that almost every man he meets is either currently struggling with or has struggled with porn in his life. Battling sexual temptation and helping others do so has been a key focus of mine for several years and this short book helps men understand the struggles/temptations. Tim challenged the way I think about some things and I think he even changed my mind on a couple. The book even ends with a sermon from Charles Spurgeon on I Corinthians 10:13. This is a little different book (in a good way) on sexual temptation and I would recommend this book for every male.
My favorite quotes:
-p. 10 - "It is actually far more difficult to avoid pornography than it is to find it."
-p. 15 - "Every Christian guy who looks at porn wants to stop, but many of us want to stop just a little bit less than we want to keep going."
-p. 24 - "One of the most deeply harmful things pornography does, therefore, is reinforce the false lesson that sexual excitement is not about a whole-person union at all. Instead, sexual excitement becomes associated with isolation from others and a focus on self. That which is supposed to be about sharing becomes all about getting."
-p. 38 - "Reality is rarely as wonderful as fantasy."
-p. 63 - "Porn is created to arouse the hardened heart, not the tender heart."
Every man deals with sexual temptation and Tim Challies believes that nearly every male struggles with pornography at some point in his life. He even assumes that almost every man he meets is either currently struggling with or has struggled with porn in his life. Battling sexual temptation and helping others do so has been a key focus of mine for several years and this short book helps men understand the struggles/temptations. Tim challenged the way I think about some things and I think he even changed my mind on a couple. The book even ends with a sermon from Charles Spurgeon on I Corinthians 10:13. This is a little different book (in a good way) on sexual temptation and I would recommend this book for every male.
My favorite quotes:
-p. 10 - "It is actually far more difficult to avoid pornography than it is to find it."
-p. 15 - "Every Christian guy who looks at porn wants to stop, but many of us want to stop just a little bit less than we want to keep going."
-p. 24 - "One of the most deeply harmful things pornography does, therefore, is reinforce the false lesson that sexual excitement is not about a whole-person union at all. Instead, sexual excitement becomes associated with isolation from others and a focus on self. That which is supposed to be about sharing becomes all about getting."
-p. 38 - "Reality is rarely as wonderful as fantasy."
-p. 63 - "Porn is created to arouse the hardened heart, not the tender heart."
July 10, 2024
Awkward book to rate on Goodreads. I’m reading it to disciple others. Someone else may want to know if they should use it.
Use this book alongside Ray Ortlund’s “The Death of Porn.” Challies gets to the basics and starts a good conversation. Ortlund’s book is better, nuanced and encouraging. (There’s six chapters in both books. Can read them together in a six-week discipleship)
Challies attacks the monster of pornography well. He gives biblical advice and provides a healthy view of sex in marriage. Guys struggling with pornography and men discipling them can benefit from this book.
Chapter five is a good reason I wouldn’t only use Ortlund’s book. Challies gives a great paradigm for how to think wisely about sex. Chapter three is also a necessary topic to discuss. Ortlund doesn’t address it. So there’s another reason.
Some Issues:
- Challies’ hierarchy (aka complimentarian) view of marriage leads him to use strong words—too strong—about the wife in his section on the gift of sex. He avoids extremes, and there is nothing wrong per se. I’d use different language and avoid some of his logic.
- The verses he suggested for memorizing were good for him. Better ones would serve his broad audience.
- I have some minor quibbles with chapter three, but I understand him and his motives.
Use this book alongside Ray Ortlund’s “The Death of Porn.” Challies gets to the basics and starts a good conversation. Ortlund’s book is better, nuanced and encouraging. (There’s six chapters in both books. Can read them together in a six-week discipleship)
Challies attacks the monster of pornography well. He gives biblical advice and provides a healthy view of sex in marriage. Guys struggling with pornography and men discipling them can benefit from this book.
Chapter five is a good reason I wouldn’t only use Ortlund’s book. Challies gives a great paradigm for how to think wisely about sex. Chapter three is also a necessary topic to discuss. Ortlund doesn’t address it. So there’s another reason.
Some Issues:
- Challies’ hierarchy (aka complimentarian) view of marriage leads him to use strong words—too strong—about the wife in his section on the gift of sex. He avoids extremes, and there is nothing wrong per se. I’d use different language and avoid some of his logic.
- The verses he suggested for memorizing were good for him. Better ones would serve his broad audience.
- I have some minor quibbles with chapter three, but I understand him and his motives.
November 9, 2015
Quick read. Lays out a theological framework for purity/ marriage. If you're looking for something with a ton of practical steps, this is not the book. However, without a proper theological perspective, which this book offers, you will not succeed in the fight. Chillies' charge is to comprehend the severity of sin and to focus on the faithfulness of God. Recommended for all ages.
November 5, 2023
One of the most consistent requests I receive as a pastoral counselor is helping men deal with sexual temptation. I am so thankful for this short, volume with many practical and gospel helps within it.
June 1, 2025
This was an audio book that I listened to on Audible. Tim Challies the author was also the narrator.
As an audio book it was only fair. The narrator’s voice was soft & quiet most of the time. I found myself straining to hear him.
The content of the book was much more solid. Challies dealt with some difficult topics in a thorough & biblical manner. Pornography, adultery, lust, masturbation, addiction… this was not light listening for sure. There is great help here I believe. The work is not coarse but it is at times dealing with unpleasant issues.
The assertion that pornography is a game changer for a marriage is truthful in my experience as a pastor. Expectations are skewed, disloyalty is experienced, & it is a rough road to navigate for most couples.
This may well become a book that I point my men to as a help to break their addiction. It is not overly long & could be read in a short period of time. My thought would be to read it prayerfully, slowly, with a pen & paper to note helpful verses, thoughts, & strategies to win the battle for your mind.
I would recommend this.
As an audio book it was only fair. The narrator’s voice was soft & quiet most of the time. I found myself straining to hear him.
The content of the book was much more solid. Challies dealt with some difficult topics in a thorough & biblical manner. Pornography, adultery, lust, masturbation, addiction… this was not light listening for sure. There is great help here I believe. The work is not coarse but it is at times dealing with unpleasant issues.
The assertion that pornography is a game changer for a marriage is truthful in my experience as a pastor. Expectations are skewed, disloyalty is experienced, & it is a rough road to navigate for most couples.
This may well become a book that I point my men to as a help to break their addiction. It is not overly long & could be read in a short period of time. My thought would be to read it prayerfully, slowly, with a pen & paper to note helpful verses, thoughts, & strategies to win the battle for your mind.
I would recommend this.
January 4, 2018
Acabei de ler "Sexual Detox: a guide for guys who are sick of porn", do Tim Challies. Este é, sem dúvida, o livro mais prático e direto ao ponto sobre o assunto. E, apesar de eu ter lido a versão original, descobri depois que a @edicoesvidanova já havia trazido essa obra para o português! (Veja "Desintoxicação Sexual", da Série Cruciforme da Edições Vida Nova)
Sabemos que há algumas pessoas hoje que fazem vista grossa para a realidade da pornografia e alguns que ainda estimulam seu consumo. Todavia, a posição cristã bíblica sobre o assunto permanece a mesma desde o princípio. E, fundamentado nas Escrituras, Tim Challies faz um excelente trabalho pastoral para homens solteiros e/ou casados que queiram deixar esse tipo de prática. Recomendo fortemente!
Sabemos que há algumas pessoas hoje que fazem vista grossa para a realidade da pornografia e alguns que ainda estimulam seu consumo. Todavia, a posição cristã bíblica sobre o assunto permanece a mesma desde o princípio. E, fundamentado nas Escrituras, Tim Challies faz um excelente trabalho pastoral para homens solteiros e/ou casados que queiram deixar esse tipo de prática. Recomendo fortemente!
Read
October 7, 2021«Limpia tu mente» es un libro útil tanto para los que están en medio de la batalla con la pornografía, como para quienes el uso de la pornografía es una tentación latente, y para los que por la gracia de Dios han podido vencer a este monstruo y quieren ayudar a otros a hacer lo mismo. Lo recomiendo absolutamente.
Lee la reseña en Coalición por el Evangelio.
Lee la reseña en Coalición por el Evangelio.
November 2, 2024
We live in a society invaded by both sensual images and explicit sex. Pornography has infected our society, and unfortunately, many men and women have fallen into this sin. This book is a call to keep our minds pure before the Lord and to protect our view of sex within marriage. God created sex to be beautiful and full of delight in the context of marriage.
February 24, 2021
Una exhortación clara y directa del pecado que padecemos la mayoría de los hombres. Una lucha que se debe atacar de frente, no solamente mortificando la carne, sino que también vivificando nuestro espíritu, con ayuda de los medios de gracia que el Señor establece.
Un libro que todo hombre debe leer. Un confrontamiento del que nadie puede huir.
Un libro que todo hombre debe leer. Un confrontamiento del que nadie puede huir.
May 12, 2017
El verdadero propósito de dios para disfrutar el sexo
January 28, 2022
Fantastic little book on a huge topic plaguing young men in the church today. Lots of good insights (as a father) to help pass onto them and as a husband to help treasure my wife.
March 5, 2018
This book makes a few good points here and there however mostly relies on God to prove its points. On each page at least 5 times mention of God and what are his intentions and what young men are doing against. Hardly talks about practicality, health-physical or mental, rather discusses everything from the angle of the Bible and of Christianity.
July 27, 2020
Decent overview. It does put the issue of porn addiction in right context. It is focused od young adult who are married or expect to get married soon.
September 19, 2013
Every man should read this. Married, single, Christ-followers, and non-believers alike. Yes, the book approaches what healthy sexuality should look like as defined by God, but the end result is a loving and deeper marriage that all men should desire regardless of faith.
These five questions stuck out to me as helpful for me to think through in my own struggles regarding sexuality, masturbation, and pornography:
What is Your Heart in This?/What is my motivation?
Is this act of a conqueror or of a servant?
Does this bring pleasure to one or to both?
Does this trouble either your conscience or your spouse’s conscience?
Can you thank God for this?
Challies openly confronts the hidden sins of masturbation and pornography and attacks them head on with the Bible as his guide. He doesn't simply preach that these acts are "bad" but rather explains how the motivations leading to them and the feelings they produce separate us further from God and from the ability to have a healthy, loving, and tender sexual relationship with our spouse.
Seriously, I can't say enough about how wonderful this book is. This is something ALL men deal with, whether they admit it or not. At some point in our lives we are all tempted and we will continue to be. This book helps to change the way we view those acts and arm us to fight against them in the future. Give it a shot, you won't be disappointed.
These five questions stuck out to me as helpful for me to think through in my own struggles regarding sexuality, masturbation, and pornography:
What is Your Heart in This?/What is my motivation?
Is this act of a conqueror or of a servant?
Does this bring pleasure to one or to both?
Does this trouble either your conscience or your spouse’s conscience?
Can you thank God for this?
Challies openly confronts the hidden sins of masturbation and pornography and attacks them head on with the Bible as his guide. He doesn't simply preach that these acts are "bad" but rather explains how the motivations leading to them and the feelings they produce separate us further from God and from the ability to have a healthy, loving, and tender sexual relationship with our spouse.
Seriously, I can't say enough about how wonderful this book is. This is something ALL men deal with, whether they admit it or not. At some point in our lives we are all tempted and we will continue to be. This book helps to change the way we view those acts and arm us to fight against them in the future. Give it a shot, you won't be disappointed.
February 6, 2020
Tim hace incapie en las consecuencias desastrosas que puede traer la impureza sexual a nuestras vidas cómo creyentes, ya sea que estés casado o no.
Te invita a reflexionar sobre lo que dice la Biblia y lo que se es evidente por la experiencia propia, consumir y vivir algún tipo de inmoralidad sexual conlleva a peligros eternos. Muy recomendado.
Te invita a reflexionar sobre lo que dice la Biblia y lo que se es evidente por la experiencia propia, consumir y vivir algún tipo de inmoralidad sexual conlleva a peligros eternos. Muy recomendado.
September 11, 2024
The only critique I would have would be that this booklet should not have only been marketed to men. Challies gives incredible insight into sexual sin from a biblical and Gospel-centered perspective. The counsel and “detox” action steps given within and at the end of each chapter would benefit both men and women. I highly recommend this simple but profound read.
May 21, 2012
Man up, guys. The temptation is universal. The Gospel is good enough to help. This books shows us.
April 26, 2016
This is the best book I have used on the subject in counseling.
February 13, 2017
Worth reading once a year until you are dead or perfect (whichever comes first).
June 15, 2017
Excellent resource for youngs, every man should read it.
March 16, 2019
A hilariously misinformed book on the "dangers" of pornography, which cites no sources and for which there is little to no actual scientific data.
April 14, 2021
I remember a time at a friends graduation party where one of my Christian brothers, who played in the worship team, was extremely zealous about how, "Christians just dont read their bibles! Its maddening! You, how much do you read your Bible?"
Caught off guard, I was humble to a fault as I provided the age old line: "Not as much as I'd like to."
If memory serves me right, though it typically doesn't, I had actually been in the midst of a good Bible reading system. Each day I was reading, but I also enjoyed leisure time of video games (probably Gears of War 3 at the time) and other such activities.
He responded, with all the zeal an 18-year-old worship team guitarist can muster, "See! Like, how is that going to help you!! I'm just so sick of this!!"
That excited yet immature aura and attitude is what this read felt like. It, perhaps, comes from a young heart who first felt a newfound taste of joy and freedom in the heart of Christ's love, yet aggressively misunderstands so much more that goes into the complex yet understandable dictations of Scripture regarding sanctification, faith, and hope.
That, of course, is on top of misunderstanding the complex yet understandable dictations of gender experiences, which apart from certain God-ordained specifications and expectations among his creation, are far more similar than this book alludes to. Most aggregiously, during one section, the author implies that women are not nearly as sexually primed, attuned, or tempted as men. Even one entire section devoted to how husbands should initiate and wives should reciprocate, and if a spouse is currently disinterested, it must be due to sin or sinful disconnection.
A momentary tangent demands I share that, despite this book being written in 2010, and therefore having little understanding of the true weight and influence the internet truly has on molding the mind of a new generation (which includes, to this books surprise, both young boys and girls both being exposed to pornography), published literature as opposed to oratory speeches and the like do not have the benefit of cultural niavety. In its forward, recognizably written by other men than the author, it espouses it being for "normal men with normal problems to provide normal solutions"; or something along those lines (I sure wish they would define normal men. Is it truck drivers? Artists? Coal miners? Buff or skinny? Angry or soft? Having been sexually assaulted, or merely happened upon their father's porn stash as a kid? Rampant abuser or closetted sinner? Heterosexual or homosexual? Please, define normal!). It's title alone also demands attention to its demographic, but just as sexual addicts often delude themselves into thinking their sexual sin is their only sin, so too does this book misunderstand its subject matter as borderline exclusive to its demographic, so much so it makes assumptions about women that are both woefully inpept, but laughably dangerous. Although my wife and I had a good chuckle as she repeatedly scoff or sigh at certain phrases, this is a book being recieved by men during a serious low point in their faith, and are therefore grasping at the edges for anything hopeful or beneficial. When this book espouses to assist in helping a struggling man, would we be surprised to see that man also consume even its most confounding and problematic aspects?
And that's ignoring the fact that this book has very little scripture. Talking of grand concepts such as sex (which in one instance decries is merely good because God is good, and therefore does not need to be complicated by theology, while following up that sex is a profound mystery that is akin to Christ and the church... all without scriptural reference to the hurting, ailing, weak, lost-in-sin Christian who is seeking to live by the bread of life: The Word) or even marraige (which during one section the book implies marriage is the culmination of human advancement, i.e. that if a man were to grow, he would inevitably be married, as if it were a natural progression despite Jesus and Paul clearly station the intrinsic finite quality of marriage compared to the joyous capability of singlness without undermining the mystery or glory seen in marraige), a learned individual would see how this book is more influenced by culture than it dare admit.
Repeatedly the book almost grossly exemplifies sex as the greatest thing ever. Such a danger this is, and how twisted the mind of Christians are when merely adopting the world's fascination and worship of sex by simply sliding it under the Lord's umbrella. Might I direct, hilariously enough, to a tweet that I recall saying: "Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever had mozzerella sticks?". This book has seeds of the sexual revolutions idol worship of sex peppered throughout (a true irony as it ignores the intrinsic sexuality of women, who might I remind the dear reader: women have sex organs too). This is the equivalent of the Christian, often the sex addict, who has spent their whole life fighting their addiction and thinking "If only I can get married, then I can have sex!" (Further irony, as this book has a section about how that's bad because obviously) which again undermines all aspects of sex: the marriage, the spouse, the gift. Sure, the book tries to imply it recognizes this, but as this book merely skims (intentionally, with its page length), it rather skids, leaving a track of its previous faults and evidence of its failures up until its final remarks.
Leaving off with "Read scripture" - albeit great advice - is the equivalent of a young man zealous for God but immature in his worship, companionship, or knowledge of His character (let alone his own). It may be written as a saving grace, but it is more of a damnable inditement.
I finished this book swiftly, as it was too frustrating to read, and life on this side of heaven is too short to be frustrated. While this may admit fault due to its implore toward a slow read and contemplation of its questions, I am guilt free. Its questions are so undeniably "You" focused, one would not more see God in their life than they may see the Eiffel Tower in Pittsburg.
I do not feel worse off for reading it, for I've built of a comfort in the analytical excersize of reading bad literature, but it did lead me to ponder more metatextual ideas regarding publication. When a Christian publishes his work, but that work contains dangerous material, what a frightening reality. I just finished reading John Newton's letters where-in, after what he shares to be his officially recognized conversion, met with an old shipmate of his. Agast, he felt shame and misery that this shipmate, who initially had no interested in philosophy or spirituality, was now enslaved to Newton's own previous enslavement. Newton, stricken with shame, saw how his life of flesh had influenced another, and now after his conversion was convicted to not only adhere to his own faith in Christ, but seek to ammend his past sinful influence upon this old friend. Repeatedly, Newtons friend often rebutted (paraphrase): "John, what you say to me now about God is different than how you spoke to me then. Don't you recall, you were the one who taught me these things! Now you tell me they are wrong?"
As such, even Jesus recognized a prophet is of no consequence in his own home town (even Jesus, who did no wrong to begin with in his own town knew this to be true!), so it isn't unheard of to think how our past might damage or negatively impact our future (a novel concept, I know!). Thus, for all my distaste toward this book, and my clear dislike and admission of fear that this book's 86 pages are dangerous, I approach its author with prayer and intercession. This was 2010, after all. Culturally, Christians are typically 5-10 years behind (a net positive and negative, in my opinion), and thus it suprises me not that this book is laden with a lack of knowledge, and a dangerous application of "wisdom". Simultaneously, Tim Challies may be a very different man than he was 11 years ago, as we all have been. So I hold no contempt for what I, at minimum, percieve to be a brother in Christ. Yet, I still believe this is a dangerous purchase, read, and perhaps of more value as an excersize in right thinking (as in, putting your thinking to the test), than it is an excersize in patient absorbtion.
EDIT:
I recognize people will still seek assistance or help amidst their fight against sexual sin, and my negative review of this book may still send people questioning where to go. With this in mind, I recommend David White's book God, You, and Sex, perhaps the best book I've read on the matter. At length, it spends more time talking about God than much else, which is typically what one would hope when seeking to fight sin: an overwhelming focus on God. Simultaniously, for men specifically, his book Sexual Sanity for Men is an amazing read and a brilliant group book to go through with others. Again, a massive focus on God above all else.
Caught off guard, I was humble to a fault as I provided the age old line: "Not as much as I'd like to."
If memory serves me right, though it typically doesn't, I had actually been in the midst of a good Bible reading system. Each day I was reading, but I also enjoyed leisure time of video games (probably Gears of War 3 at the time) and other such activities.
He responded, with all the zeal an 18-year-old worship team guitarist can muster, "See! Like, how is that going to help you!! I'm just so sick of this!!"
That excited yet immature aura and attitude is what this read felt like. It, perhaps, comes from a young heart who first felt a newfound taste of joy and freedom in the heart of Christ's love, yet aggressively misunderstands so much more that goes into the complex yet understandable dictations of Scripture regarding sanctification, faith, and hope.
That, of course, is on top of misunderstanding the complex yet understandable dictations of gender experiences, which apart from certain God-ordained specifications and expectations among his creation, are far more similar than this book alludes to. Most aggregiously, during one section, the author implies that women are not nearly as sexually primed, attuned, or tempted as men. Even one entire section devoted to how husbands should initiate and wives should reciprocate, and if a spouse is currently disinterested, it must be due to sin or sinful disconnection.
A momentary tangent demands I share that, despite this book being written in 2010, and therefore having little understanding of the true weight and influence the internet truly has on molding the mind of a new generation (which includes, to this books surprise, both young boys and girls both being exposed to pornography), published literature as opposed to oratory speeches and the like do not have the benefit of cultural niavety. In its forward, recognizably written by other men than the author, it espouses it being for "normal men with normal problems to provide normal solutions"; or something along those lines (I sure wish they would define normal men. Is it truck drivers? Artists? Coal miners? Buff or skinny? Angry or soft? Having been sexually assaulted, or merely happened upon their father's porn stash as a kid? Rampant abuser or closetted sinner? Heterosexual or homosexual? Please, define normal!). It's title alone also demands attention to its demographic, but just as sexual addicts often delude themselves into thinking their sexual sin is their only sin, so too does this book misunderstand its subject matter as borderline exclusive to its demographic, so much so it makes assumptions about women that are both woefully inpept, but laughably dangerous. Although my wife and I had a good chuckle as she repeatedly scoff or sigh at certain phrases, this is a book being recieved by men during a serious low point in their faith, and are therefore grasping at the edges for anything hopeful or beneficial. When this book espouses to assist in helping a struggling man, would we be surprised to see that man also consume even its most confounding and problematic aspects?
And that's ignoring the fact that this book has very little scripture. Talking of grand concepts such as sex (which in one instance decries is merely good because God is good, and therefore does not need to be complicated by theology, while following up that sex is a profound mystery that is akin to Christ and the church... all without scriptural reference to the hurting, ailing, weak, lost-in-sin Christian who is seeking to live by the bread of life: The Word) or even marraige (which during one section the book implies marriage is the culmination of human advancement, i.e. that if a man were to grow, he would inevitably be married, as if it were a natural progression despite Jesus and Paul clearly station the intrinsic finite quality of marriage compared to the joyous capability of singlness without undermining the mystery or glory seen in marraige), a learned individual would see how this book is more influenced by culture than it dare admit.
Repeatedly the book almost grossly exemplifies sex as the greatest thing ever. Such a danger this is, and how twisted the mind of Christians are when merely adopting the world's fascination and worship of sex by simply sliding it under the Lord's umbrella. Might I direct, hilariously enough, to a tweet that I recall saying: "Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever had mozzerella sticks?". This book has seeds of the sexual revolutions idol worship of sex peppered throughout (a true irony as it ignores the intrinsic sexuality of women, who might I remind the dear reader: women have sex organs too). This is the equivalent of the Christian, often the sex addict, who has spent their whole life fighting their addiction and thinking "If only I can get married, then I can have sex!" (Further irony, as this book has a section about how that's bad because obviously) which again undermines all aspects of sex: the marriage, the spouse, the gift. Sure, the book tries to imply it recognizes this, but as this book merely skims (intentionally, with its page length), it rather skids, leaving a track of its previous faults and evidence of its failures up until its final remarks.
Leaving off with "Read scripture" - albeit great advice - is the equivalent of a young man zealous for God but immature in his worship, companionship, or knowledge of His character (let alone his own). It may be written as a saving grace, but it is more of a damnable inditement.
I finished this book swiftly, as it was too frustrating to read, and life on this side of heaven is too short to be frustrated. While this may admit fault due to its implore toward a slow read and contemplation of its questions, I am guilt free. Its questions are so undeniably "You" focused, one would not more see God in their life than they may see the Eiffel Tower in Pittsburg.
I do not feel worse off for reading it, for I've built of a comfort in the analytical excersize of reading bad literature, but it did lead me to ponder more metatextual ideas regarding publication. When a Christian publishes his work, but that work contains dangerous material, what a frightening reality. I just finished reading John Newton's letters where-in, after what he shares to be his officially recognized conversion, met with an old shipmate of his. Agast, he felt shame and misery that this shipmate, who initially had no interested in philosophy or spirituality, was now enslaved to Newton's own previous enslavement. Newton, stricken with shame, saw how his life of flesh had influenced another, and now after his conversion was convicted to not only adhere to his own faith in Christ, but seek to ammend his past sinful influence upon this old friend. Repeatedly, Newtons friend often rebutted (paraphrase): "John, what you say to me now about God is different than how you spoke to me then. Don't you recall, you were the one who taught me these things! Now you tell me they are wrong?"
As such, even Jesus recognized a prophet is of no consequence in his own home town (even Jesus, who did no wrong to begin with in his own town knew this to be true!), so it isn't unheard of to think how our past might damage or negatively impact our future (a novel concept, I know!). Thus, for all my distaste toward this book, and my clear dislike and admission of fear that this book's 86 pages are dangerous, I approach its author with prayer and intercession. This was 2010, after all. Culturally, Christians are typically 5-10 years behind (a net positive and negative, in my opinion), and thus it suprises me not that this book is laden with a lack of knowledge, and a dangerous application of "wisdom". Simultaneously, Tim Challies may be a very different man than he was 11 years ago, as we all have been. So I hold no contempt for what I, at minimum, percieve to be a brother in Christ. Yet, I still believe this is a dangerous purchase, read, and perhaps of more value as an excersize in right thinking (as in, putting your thinking to the test), than it is an excersize in patient absorbtion.
EDIT:
I recognize people will still seek assistance or help amidst their fight against sexual sin, and my negative review of this book may still send people questioning where to go. With this in mind, I recommend David White's book God, You, and Sex, perhaps the best book I've read on the matter. At length, it spends more time talking about God than much else, which is typically what one would hope when seeking to fight sin: an overwhelming focus on God. Simultaniously, for men specifically, his book Sexual Sanity for Men is an amazing read and a brilliant group book to go through with others. Again, a massive focus on God above all else.
February 2, 2024
I was able to read this book with a friend while walking alongside him in his battle with sexual sin. It provides a helpful framework as to the why and the how of fighting against this sin. This why and how have also been helpful reminders to me in regards to the importance of spurring him on to fighting for change, confessing, repenting, and knowing he’s forgiven in Christ.
“But the reality is that we will never get anywhere in defeating our sin if we don’t fight. We have to be about the business of putting sin to death.”
“No one has ever devised a better method for overcoming sin than that which God articulated through Paul. Standing firm in the gospel and relying on the grace and power of God to make our efforts effective, we must put off that which is of the flesh and in its place put on that which is of the Spirit.”
“But the reality is that we will never get anywhere in defeating our sin if we don’t fight. We have to be about the business of putting sin to death.”
“No one has ever devised a better method for overcoming sin than that which God articulated through Paul. Standing firm in the gospel and relying on the grace and power of God to make our efforts effective, we must put off that which is of the flesh and in its place put on that which is of the Spirit.”
July 30, 2018
Sexual Detox by Tim Challies is “a guide for guys who are sick of porn.” Like all titles from Cruciform Press, this one is short (less than 100 pages), helpful in practical ways, and biblical. It is a book, not a Bible study or workbook, but each chapter has helpful questions at the end to prompt further thought and specific application. Pornography is bad, it is enslaving, and it is a drug. But it is beatable and there is hope. There is no mystery here about what this book is about or even really much need to comment too much on it. Challies writes in a way that is discreet but specific. Convicting but not condemning and realistic but hopeful. Highly recommended.
February 19, 2021
Another Christian book that was over before you could even get into it, because after all Christians are too busy doing whatever to read something in depth.
Some reasonable points but it was pretty two dimensional and did not really raise the complexities of issues.
Porn is easy to define here, but what is porn?
Is the nude art work from the classic artist porn?
Is watching sit-coms and soaps where everyone has affairs and sells around porn in word even if they don't show it?
Is porn only visual or do romance novels count as porn?
Three issues not discussed in this book.
Some good points but a bit one note, way too brief and shallow and ultimately not that helpful.
Some reasonable points but it was pretty two dimensional and did not really raise the complexities of issues.
Porn is easy to define here, but what is porn?
Is the nude art work from the classic artist porn?
Is watching sit-coms and soaps where everyone has affairs and sells around porn in word even if they don't show it?
Is porn only visual or do romance novels count as porn?
Three issues not discussed in this book.
Some good points but a bit one note, way too brief and shallow and ultimately not that helpful.
October 10, 2023
Today the temptation is all around us and as close as the device you are reading this from now. A true sin pandemic that destroys many who wander in, out of curiosity or some other reason. The epidemic is not just limited to men of all ages, but is increasingly taking captive the hearts and minds of our young women. Pastor Tim focuses on men (of all ages) and provides solid Biblically based information on a subject that too many in the church either believe they are alone, too entangled, or too embarrassed to ask for help. This book is short but powerful and is designed so it can be used in a mentoring or small group setting.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 21, 2024
Despite being written back in 2010, the biblical principles Challies articulates remain entirely relevant almost 15 years later. I've been going through this with a guy in my church who is battling pornography addiction, and it has helped him see the devastating nature of pornography, its sinful depravity, while also giving him hope for real change. I think I would still go with Heath Lambert's Finally Free as my go-to resource for those addicted to porn, but Sexual Detox is still excellent. Especially helpful if you are working with someone who is not a reader and would find a longer book daunting.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 120 reviews