Why Your Prescription Takes So Damn Long to Fill

by Drugmonkey, Master of Pharmacy

" .... I call your doctors office and am put on hold for 5 minutes, then informed that your prescription was phoned in to my competitor on the other side of town. Phoning the competitor, I am immediately put on hold for 5 minutes before speaking to a clerk, who puts me back on hold to wait for the pharmacist. Your prescription is then transferred to me, and now I have to get the 2 phone calls that have been put on hold while this was being done. Now I return to the counter to ask if we've ever filled prescriptions for you before. For some reason, you think that "for you" means "for your cousin" and you answer my question with a "yes", whereupon I go the computer and see you are not on file.The phone rings..." That's part of the reason why your prescription takes so long to fill, and after almost 20 years of this, a question I was never quite able to answer loomed larger and larger each "Why did I get into this profession?"Cranky customers whose only questions seem to involve their insurance co-pays. Pointless paperwork. People begging for early narcotic refills. Staff cuts. That was my workday. The struggle to get people the medicine and information they needed seemed almost futile at times.Then one day I got the answer. It hit me like a ton of bricks while driving home one spring evening along the California coast. I was born again, but it had nothing to do with Jesus.It did have a lot to do with a little plastic motorcycle. And I did become the pharmacist who saved Christmas.I absolutely know now why I became a pharmacist.I still don't know why your co-pay is so high.

Genres: Humor, Nonfiction, Medical

202 pages, Paperback

First published November 15, 2010

Reviews

[Chrissy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Three stars, less because of the amusing stories/less amusing rants and mostly because I've grown so accustomed to people in pharmacy ranting about the "lazy shits on welfare" and the "sluts who are on birth control/buy plan b" that this was a small spark of hope that there are still some people in this profession who Get It. Major star wattage loss based on my heavily biased refusal to tolerate any criticism about NPR. DON'T mess around with my Diane Rehm, okay.

[Barb Kasik · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hysterical. This is an admittedly self-indulgent treasure that I highly recommend to anyone involved in our strange world of retail pharmacy or our kindred spirits in emergency medicine, nursing, etc. I loved this book. I would warn you it's a bit vulgar, but that's rhetorical in this profession. Enjoy!

[Andrea Larson · Rating 4 out of 5]

While the author may have a bit of a drinking problem, his witty cynicism about the profession I have chosen was right on! A good laugh, especially for those in the pharmaceutical industry, though every one can appreciated the stupidity of the masses!!

[Carol · Rating 5 out of 5]

Must read for anyone in or thinking about a career in pharmacy.

[Heather · Rating 4 out of 5]

Once upon a time I followed a sarcastic, foul mouthed pharmacist on Twitter. That foul mouthed pharmacist was Drugmonkey.

Nearly 9 years of my life was spent working for two separate long term care pharmacies so that was the initial appeal of this book and the twitter account. Thankfully in that setting I didn't deal with the actual public, the narc junkies and the complainers. My retail pharmacy acquaintances have no shortage of war stories.

Now I sling fares for the largest mass transit agency in North America, which is possibly the next best place to work if you want to have adventures (or misadventures) with the public. I thoroughly enjoyed this book from both angles. Kinda sad I waited so long after I bought it to read it, but my new career path has brought a new perspective on the public, without which I might not have liked it so much.

[Tri Le · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a pharmacist and former retail employee, I found this book to be hilarious and relatable. I really enjoyed the sarcastic humor and could identify with practically every entry. Worth a read to anyone who's worked in a pharmacy!

[Olivia · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked parts of this book a lot and parts of it made me really dislike the author.

[Madeleine Van Dyke · Rating 4 out of 5]

Had to revisit this after the last crazy few weeks at work, kind of had me wanting to write my own book about the wild stories I have

[Christopher Scott · Rating 4 out of 5]

Being a pharmacist is hard. Like really hard. Especially if you work in retail, the days are long, the patients are frustrating, and there’s never a lack of phone calls for stupid things that aren’t your problem. Hell, even doctor’s don’t seem to know prescription laws. No, you cannot call in a schedule 2 drug over the phone. Why do you not know that?

If you are one of the many hardened individuals who have taken on the role of pharmacist then this book is for you. There’s so much familiarity which each story, you are constantly relating to the author’s struggles.

There are some sections that are unnecessary here and there but overall it’s a fun read. If you’ve ever felt alone in the crazy world of pharmacy, this book will make you feel less so.

[Natalie Laufer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Unexpected hilarity and good vibes abound. Calvert DeForest would approve.

Unexpected hilarity and good vibes abound. Calvert DeForest would approve.

Drugmonkey writes of his daily adventures with great good humor and a decided liberal bent, honed by his years of grappling with big pharma and soulless corporate culture. Don't limit yourself though Drugmonkey! Really, you are a radical, and a dampened good soul, to boot. This humble memoir gave me several great big smiles and the wry wit beats Letterman and Larry Bud Melman any day. Gotta read it to get the reference. Picked it up on Kindle Unlimited but would happily pay for more Drugmonkey musings, whenever available. Put me down for a refill.

[Marie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I laughed often while reading this book. My spouse read it too and was equally pleased. Highly recommended for anyone who spends time in a pharmacy (patient or employee), required for future pharmacists, suggested strongly for current pharmacists. It's shamelessly political at times but explores issues in good humor and with real science and caring about people.

[Krista Murdock · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you, Drugmonkey, for this fantastic book.

As a mediocre pharmacy technician with a streak of liberalism in small town Arkansas, I needed this book. Probably more than I realized. Thank you for the laughs, the insights, and the reassurance that this job can be rewarding, despite the droves of idiots we in retail pharmacy have to deal with on a day to day basis.

[Kristyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

The author is a genius story teller who finds the hilarity in everything that makes me dread going to work. He also includes some off-subject rants, and intelligent thoughts on serious pharmacy-related issues.

[Kelsey · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was, for the most part, entertaining, and the parts about working in the pharmacy were entirely true and completely relatable, which I loved, but he got a little rant-y sometimes and it got old. However, I learned some interesting things about a few drugs. Glad I stumbled upon this book.

[Julia · Rating 5 out of 5]

hilarious read for those in the pharmacy profession

[Philip · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you are a pharmacist at a corporation you will laugh a lot.

[Joanna · Rating 5 out of 5]

Everyone who's ever been to a pharmacy, worked in a pharmacy, or walked by a pharmacy and asked where the milk is should really read this. He needs a follow up!!

[David · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hilarious, if only because true. This is a cynical, sad-but-true, sometimes sober look (but not always) at one ONU grad's experience of what makes retail pharmacy hell on earth.