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I Totally Meant to Do That
Jane Borden is a hybrid too horrifying to a hipster-debutante. She was reared in a propert Southern home in Greensboro, North Carolina, sent to boarding school in Virginia, and then went on to join a sorority in Chapel Hill. She next moved to New York and discovered that none of this grooming meant a lick to anyone. In fact, she hid her upbringing for many years--it was easier than explaining what a debutante "does" (the short not much).
Anyone who has moved away from home or lived in (or dreamed of living in) New York will appreciate the hilarity of Jane's musings on the intersections of and altercations between Southern hospitality and Gotham cool.
Anyone who has moved away from home or lived in (or dreamed of living in) New York will appreciate the hilarity of Jane's musings on the intersections of and altercations between Southern hospitality and Gotham cool.
240 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2011
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 171 reviews
August 6, 2011
I'm having a bit of a hard time with the rating system - when I first joined Goodreads, I generally used the 3 stars for anything I was meh on, and 2 for things I didn't much like. But then I found I needed the 3 for things I liked but didn't love, so meh moved to 2, which feels low. All of this to say that 2 stars feels like I'm being quite negative about a book that I was perfectly happy to finish, but that I wouldn't recommend to anyone.
About the book: I thought it was going to be one of those quirky funny anecdotal memoirs that are so popular right now. And I think the author thought that too. But it was unfocused, less funny and more introspective so that the Southern girl in New York stories seemed almost intrusive. The author can write, but I felt like she didn't know what exactly she was writing here.
About the book: I thought it was going to be one of those quirky funny anecdotal memoirs that are so popular right now. And I think the author thought that too. But it was unfocused, less funny and more introspective so that the Southern girl in New York stories seemed almost intrusive. The author can write, but I felt like she didn't know what exactly she was writing here.
May 3, 2011
I Totally Meant to Do That is Jane Borden’s transformation from southern belle to Brooklyn hipster,” says book publicist and RIF staffer Justina Batchelor, “it’s about being a southerner in the city, which I can relate to because I am one myself. So I passed this book on to all the other southerners in the city I know. But because Jane is like a female David Sedaris, I think anyone with a sense of humor can really appreciate this book.”
August 11, 2011
Jane Borden is a southern Debutante who moved to New York City after college and eventually ended up living there for over ten years. Her family members back in North Carolina, and her upbringing there, are the ultimate stereotype of genteel southerners. I Totally Meant To Do That is Borden's part memoir part commentary on her experiences straddling these two very different cultures and as she contemplates, after a decade of living in NYC, if 1) she can officially be considered a New Yorker (after all, what is a New Yorker, really?) and 2) if she should stay in the big city or return to her roots in North Carolina.
Based on the plethora of positive blurbs from the likes of Amy Poehler, Ed Helms, and other funny folks, plus the fact that Borden has worked as a contributor for Saturday Night Live, I expected this book to be laugh-out-loud, belly rollicking, hilarious. I was engrossed in the first chapter right away, laughing as she described the illegal knockoffs industry in Chinatown and how she worked as a spy to find fakes of her clients' knockoffs so the authorities could be alerted. I was amused by the chapter in which she described her naivete and the way she obviously stuck out -- trying to make eye contact with everyone she passed on the street so she could smile at them. And I loved the chapter where she compared finding a roommate in NYC to rushing for sororities. I've never done either, but I could still relate it to my own life and I thought "so true!" I also found interesting the chapter where she tries to define what makes one a New Yorker. (I don't agree with what she was told). I thought this following quote was an interesting way to describe New York. Though she's comparing it to purgatory, which is sort of different, the point she ultimately makes is one I can relate to regarding my thoughts about the city.
At home, I would either be a member of a congregation or not, in an exclusive club or not, at a political fund-raiser or not. Inaction is still an action. Not so in New York, where I don't have to be one thing or the other. Living in purgatory is not about being free to make whatever choice you want; the city offers something more profound, a third option: immunity from making choices at all, and therefore from the judgments accompanying them. Purgatory is Paradise. (p. 131)
After about the first third of the book, though, I sort of lost interest. This book really started to seem more about a reflection of her southern roots and the southern lifestyle. The big city really could have been any big city. For those looking for a read about NYC, I wouldn't necessarily recommend this. While Borden continued to make some references to the city and to the comparisons, I felt that was more of a springboard to discuss, in depth, the southern counterpart which I couldn't relate to. And by the end, I felt a disconnect from the book as Borden tried to figure things out for herself.
So now I'm all confused again. Here or there -- which is home? Or, rather, the true task is to discern which of the two is more of a home than the other. I'm Southerner by default. But I'm also a New Yorker. Right? I love this city... don't I? Sorry. Why am I asking you? I'm all mixed up, so much so that I sought counseling from a chintzy etiquette paperback. (p. 215)
I will say, though, that part of that disconnect likely stems from the fact that I am so far removed from her southern background; my life experiences and outlook are so different that I'm sure that hindered what turned out to be a different aspect of the book than I was expecting.
If you're a southern, country girl who has moved to a big city, or really if you're a southerner in general, you may enjoy this book. But, unfortunately, it wasn't the belly rollicking NYC story that I was hoping for.
Taken from my blog at www.takemeawayreading.com
Based on the plethora of positive blurbs from the likes of Amy Poehler, Ed Helms, and other funny folks, plus the fact that Borden has worked as a contributor for Saturday Night Live, I expected this book to be laugh-out-loud, belly rollicking, hilarious. I was engrossed in the first chapter right away, laughing as she described the illegal knockoffs industry in Chinatown and how she worked as a spy to find fakes of her clients' knockoffs so the authorities could be alerted. I was amused by the chapter in which she described her naivete and the way she obviously stuck out -- trying to make eye contact with everyone she passed on the street so she could smile at them. And I loved the chapter where she compared finding a roommate in NYC to rushing for sororities. I've never done either, but I could still relate it to my own life and I thought "so true!" I also found interesting the chapter where she tries to define what makes one a New Yorker. (I don't agree with what she was told). I thought this following quote was an interesting way to describe New York. Though she's comparing it to purgatory, which is sort of different, the point she ultimately makes is one I can relate to regarding my thoughts about the city.
At home, I would either be a member of a congregation or not, in an exclusive club or not, at a political fund-raiser or not. Inaction is still an action. Not so in New York, where I don't have to be one thing or the other. Living in purgatory is not about being free to make whatever choice you want; the city offers something more profound, a third option: immunity from making choices at all, and therefore from the judgments accompanying them. Purgatory is Paradise. (p. 131)
After about the first third of the book, though, I sort of lost interest. This book really started to seem more about a reflection of her southern roots and the southern lifestyle. The big city really could have been any big city. For those looking for a read about NYC, I wouldn't necessarily recommend this. While Borden continued to make some references to the city and to the comparisons, I felt that was more of a springboard to discuss, in depth, the southern counterpart which I couldn't relate to. And by the end, I felt a disconnect from the book as Borden tried to figure things out for herself.
So now I'm all confused again. Here or there -- which is home? Or, rather, the true task is to discern which of the two is more of a home than the other. I'm Southerner by default. But I'm also a New Yorker. Right? I love this city... don't I? Sorry. Why am I asking you? I'm all mixed up, so much so that I sought counseling from a chintzy etiquette paperback. (p. 215)
I will say, though, that part of that disconnect likely stems from the fact that I am so far removed from her southern background; my life experiences and outlook are so different that I'm sure that hindered what turned out to be a different aspect of the book than I was expecting.
If you're a southern, country girl who has moved to a big city, or really if you're a southerner in general, you may enjoy this book. But, unfortunately, it wasn't the belly rollicking NYC story that I was hoping for.
Taken from my blog at www.takemeawayreading.com
May 26, 2011
You don't have to be rich or Southern to appreciate Jane Borden's book, but don't expect her to apologize for being those things. Despite these two obstacles, Borden writes about a New York City that is highly recognizable to someone who actually lives here. Jane's day with the Sanchez Brothers, moving apartments? Substitute Uzbeks for Puerto Ricans and I've lived the same day (plus re-enacted abbreviated versions of this scene with every West African and Rastafarian Gypsy cab driver I've ever ridden with, and in case you don't know me, I ride in a lot of Gypsy cabs.)
Oh crap, now I'm concerned because "Gypsy cabs" is so politically incorrect.
Lots of virtual underlining in my Kindle version of this book.
Minus one star for breaking my heart at the end of the book, even though Borden doesn't write anything here that I haven't thought myself one million times.
Oh crap, now I'm concerned because "Gypsy cabs" is so politically incorrect.
Lots of virtual underlining in my Kindle version of this book.
"I mean, without a doubt, the city is killing me. But it's because I'm running into the knife. I'm so quick to blame New York, but it's never New York's fault."
"This economy of impermanence governs every transaction in city life. Even if I plan to stay in a coffee shop, I'll order my drink 'to go,' in case I change my mind midlatte."
Minus one star for breaking my heart at the end of the book, even though Borden doesn't write anything here that I haven't thought myself one million times.
June 9, 2011
Maybe my hopes were too high? There were obviously shining moments, but overall, I was disappointed. A lot of the essays read like unpolished notes for a stand-up set. Paragraphs started whole other stories or jokes that were absolutely tangential to the thrust of the story, like a constant "that reminds me of the time..." approach to storytelling. There was a total lack of flow I found jarring, and then once I started to feel comfortable with stream-of-consciousness, she'd wrap up the essay by using a metaphor that was a reference to a phrase she'd used on the first page of the essay. I don't know. It was certainly a fun beach read, but not the kind of book I'd necessarily recommend to anyone.
June 2, 2011
So, my friend Karalyn pressed this on me, and I thought, despite the fact that this is a book about a southerner in New York, and here I am, a southerner in New York, I'm only reading this to be polite. But imagine my surprise when I found cynical self enjoying the damn thing. See, here's the deal. Karalyn and I went to high school together, and now we live twenty blocks apart. Here are two interesting anecdotes about our upbrining. The first: So there I was in the lunch line. Lunch was green beans with almond slivers and pecan-encrusted trout. Wow, thought I, what a meal! Just as I was receiving my insanely decadent school lunch, one of my classmates behind me in line rolled her eyes audibly (I swear) and proclaimed that this was the exact thing they just had at so-and-so's debutante party that weekend. It was the same catering company; we urchins were getting debutante leftovers. No wonder Monday lunches were always so good. But I never would have known that had it not been explained to me, because I was decidedly not a deb. Second anecdote: There's this thing called the JDA. Junior Dance Association. They have invite-only dances every weekend - it's a training ground for future junior leaguers. Recently, Karalyn told me that she desperately wanted to join, but, despite having a big-wheel father who worked with one of the head JDA board members, she wasn't allowed, because she lived in Gaffney, and JDA was a Spartanburg thing. Needless to say, I thought the JDA was a load of horseshit then, and I think it's an even bigger load of horseshit now.
Which brings us to the surprising fact that I liked this book, despite the author announcing herself as a debutante-hipster (perish the thought!) from the outset. It's well-written, and, hell, I can't give anybody low marks who has Guided By Voices on their iPod. So, if you're looking for it, here's written proof that not every southerner dies on the vine here in NYC. At this point, I'll take any inspiring glimmer of hope I can get.
Which brings us to the surprising fact that I liked this book, despite the author announcing herself as a debutante-hipster (perish the thought!) from the outset. It's well-written, and, hell, I can't give anybody low marks who has Guided By Voices on their iPod. So, if you're looking for it, here's written proof that not every southerner dies on the vine here in NYC. At this point, I'll take any inspiring glimmer of hope I can get.
May 7, 2015
I had to dock Borden some stars for being a Tarheel fan, as I was raised staunchly ABC. ABC meaning, for the uninitiated, Anybody But Carolina.
When I saw on the book cover that Borden also hails from North Carolina, I expected to have some serious regional connections with her book. However, it quickly became clear that she and I were raised in very different Souths, despite our hometowns being less than 2 hours apart, and being relatively close in age. Borden grew up in the gentile, moneyed South. The South that wears pearls and hats to church.
I definitely did not. Although our grandmother tried desperately to turn my sister and I into Southern belles, she also didn't send us etiquette books in the mail. She eventually gave up on the idea that we would be proper ladies, though she still shakes her head at us from time to time.
Despite the differences in our upbringings, Borden and I agree on a few things: Don't mess with James Taylor. Southerners are inherently, and sometimes ostentatiously, friendly. And, NC is home.
But this isn't a book about being Southern, or about moving from NC to NYC and back. It is truly a journey of self discovery. It is a constant asking of questions like, Where do I belong? Am I making the right choices? Am I in the right place? Questions I am still, always, asking myself.
I have never been an adventure seeker, but Borden makes the prospect shine. Maybe it is not so out of reach for me. It may not mean NYC, but everyone's adventure story is different.
On second thought, maybe I will give Borden one more star.
When I saw on the book cover that Borden also hails from North Carolina, I expected to have some serious regional connections with her book. However, it quickly became clear that she and I were raised in very different Souths, despite our hometowns being less than 2 hours apart, and being relatively close in age. Borden grew up in the gentile, moneyed South. The South that wears pearls and hats to church.
I definitely did not. Although our grandmother tried desperately to turn my sister and I into Southern belles, she also didn't send us etiquette books in the mail. She eventually gave up on the idea that we would be proper ladies, though she still shakes her head at us from time to time.
Despite the differences in our upbringings, Borden and I agree on a few things: Don't mess with James Taylor. Southerners are inherently, and sometimes ostentatiously, friendly. And, NC is home.
But this isn't a book about being Southern, or about moving from NC to NYC and back. It is truly a journey of self discovery. It is a constant asking of questions like, Where do I belong? Am I making the right choices? Am I in the right place? Questions I am still, always, asking myself.
I have never been an adventure seeker, but Borden makes the prospect shine. Maybe it is not so out of reach for me. It may not mean NYC, but everyone's adventure story is different.
On second thought, maybe I will give Borden one more star.
January 23, 2016
Jane Borden's I TOTALLY MEANT TO DO THAT is an extremely well written first person memoir about the author's time living in New York City. It is indeed very funny, though the author also does have some purpose behind her quips and jokes, in that she is struggling with her North Carolina southern roots as she tries to fit into the New York City hive.
The author writes in a warm, easy, flowing style that is easy to understand, moving the stories along very well and keeping the reader interested. She also keeps the reader on their toes by throwing in some very uncommon, "75-cent" words. I have a decent vocabulary, and I will be totally honest; I had to look up more than one.
My favorite story was the description of the day she spent with the Sanchez brothers, who were the "budget" movers she hired to help her move to yet another apartment. The story highlights the connections strangers who have nothing in common can make when they are forced by circumstances to spend time together.
Only down-side to the book was the last story, which got a little hard to follow and a little too introspective for me. But other than that, it was a well-written and very entertaining collection of stories about trying to fit in far away from home. Anyone who has moved far from their family, and anyone who has tried to live in a big city will appreciate this book. You come away from it wishing you knew the author in person.
The author writes in a warm, easy, flowing style that is easy to understand, moving the stories along very well and keeping the reader interested. She also keeps the reader on their toes by throwing in some very uncommon, "75-cent" words. I have a decent vocabulary, and I will be totally honest; I had to look up more than one.
My favorite story was the description of the day she spent with the Sanchez brothers, who were the "budget" movers she hired to help her move to yet another apartment. The story highlights the connections strangers who have nothing in common can make when they are forced by circumstances to spend time together.
Only down-side to the book was the last story, which got a little hard to follow and a little too introspective for me. But other than that, it was a well-written and very entertaining collection of stories about trying to fit in far away from home. Anyone who has moved far from their family, and anyone who has tried to live in a big city will appreciate this book. You come away from it wishing you knew the author in person.
May 13, 2022
I loved this book! It is a love letter to North Carolina and our quirky cultural traditions. I would recommend this book to anyone who has ever moved away from North Carolina and missed it. You will laugh out loud.
And, hello? Did the author's mom know my mom? When I was a little girl, I decided I wanted to get my ears pierced. "Only gypsies have pierced ears," my mom told me. "Then I want to be a gypsy," I retorted. On page 145, Jane Borden wrote, "From what my mother can remember the [Gypsy] women wore multiple bracelets, head kerchiefs, long flowing skirts, and jangly earrings. 'No one had pierced ears back then,' she says. 'If you had pierced ears, you were a gypsy.'" This may have been my favorite passage in the book!
From her Aunt Jane's sending her an etiquette book, to a heated discussion of what makes a person a "real" New Yorker, to dancing with a stranger in a bar on the Upper East Side at a North Carolina fraternity reunion, to flying back to North Carolina to attend wedding festivities and family reunions at the beach, Borden breaks down the differences between the cultures of North Carolina and New York in a humorous and self-deprecating manner. I highly recommend this book to anyone who has moved away from North Carolina and longed for home.
And, hello? Did the author's mom know my mom? When I was a little girl, I decided I wanted to get my ears pierced. "Only gypsies have pierced ears," my mom told me. "Then I want to be a gypsy," I retorted. On page 145, Jane Borden wrote, "From what my mother can remember the [Gypsy] women wore multiple bracelets, head kerchiefs, long flowing skirts, and jangly earrings. 'No one had pierced ears back then,' she says. 'If you had pierced ears, you were a gypsy.'" This may have been my favorite passage in the book!
From her Aunt Jane's sending her an etiquette book, to a heated discussion of what makes a person a "real" New Yorker, to dancing with a stranger in a bar on the Upper East Side at a North Carolina fraternity reunion, to flying back to North Carolina to attend wedding festivities and family reunions at the beach, Borden breaks down the differences between the cultures of North Carolina and New York in a humorous and self-deprecating manner. I highly recommend this book to anyone who has moved away from North Carolina and longed for home.
May 10, 2011
***From the back of the book***
Jane Borden is a hybrid too horrifying to exist: a hipster-debutante. She was reared in a proper Southern home in Greensboro, North Carolina, sent to boarding school in Virginia, and then went on to join a sorority in Chapel Hill. She next moved to New York and discovered that none of this grooming meant a lick to anyone. In fact, she hid her upbringing for many years - it was easier than explaining what a debutante "does" (the short answer: not much).
Anyone who has moved away from home or lived in (or dreamed of living in) New York will appreciate the hilarity of Jane's musings on the intersections of and altercations between Southern hospitality and Gotham cool.
***My thoughts***
I absolutely loved this book. I am not Southern and I have never lived in New York, but it doesn't matter. The writing in the book is fabulously enjoyable and I found Jane to be endearing. I was so disappointed when the book was over. I was even more disappointed when I saw that this is the only book she has written. That, in my opinion, is the best review possible. The book is funny, cute, and cool all at the same time. I would highly recommend it.
Jane Borden is a hybrid too horrifying to exist: a hipster-debutante. She was reared in a proper Southern home in Greensboro, North Carolina, sent to boarding school in Virginia, and then went on to join a sorority in Chapel Hill. She next moved to New York and discovered that none of this grooming meant a lick to anyone. In fact, she hid her upbringing for many years - it was easier than explaining what a debutante "does" (the short answer: not much).
Anyone who has moved away from home or lived in (or dreamed of living in) New York will appreciate the hilarity of Jane's musings on the intersections of and altercations between Southern hospitality and Gotham cool.
***My thoughts***
I absolutely loved this book. I am not Southern and I have never lived in New York, but it doesn't matter. The writing in the book is fabulously enjoyable and I found Jane to be endearing. I was so disappointed when the book was over. I was even more disappointed when I saw that this is the only book she has written. That, in my opinion, is the best review possible. The book is funny, cute, and cool all at the same time. I would highly recommend it.
November 25, 2011
A friend of mine gave me this book out of the blue, and told me to read it because Jane reminded them a lot of me. After reading her book, I'm not sure if I should be flattered or not. As a sorority girl at UNC-Chapel Hill, and also as a girl who has been "reared" in the South by a "proper" Southern family, I can relate to many of the stories that Jane tells in her book. You might think that many of the anecdotes about the South are untrue or exaggerated, but I can promise that they are not. I differ with Jane, however, because I have no desire to leave the South. I love this quirky place and the charms that come with it. Leaving the South would be akin to refusing to help an older woman to her car with groceries, which as Jane tells in the book you just don't do . Jane wrestles with her love for New York and her lingering affection for the South in this witty, amusing book. You're in for a ride if you pick this up, and I can only hope you'll enjoy it as much as I did.
September 14, 2011
Read reviews that she was like a female David Sedaris. I love David Sedaris. She was NOT a female David Sedaris. Some of it was funny but it felt like the same funny bit was repeated over and over in each chapter. No variety. Country girl goes to New York. NY eats her alive. The premise was not original and neither was the writing.
October 2, 2021
There's an irony in a book detailing the life of someone "reared in North Carolina, but raised in New York" where its author never finds a consistent voice, flipping between several. Yet despite that and a few lines that did not age well (especially because it was published 10 years ago), overall it's a funny, heartwarming tale.
August 8, 2011
I learned two things when I read this. 1 - whiny people (including this author) annoy me. 2- I am not the type to love a collection essays. I don't recommend this one.
February 11, 2017
Hilarious! I'm from the South and had a son living in NYC when I read this book. Oh... how I and my son could relate to Jane's book. Such a fun read! Loved it.
February 16, 2018
I only read 25% of this book, but honestly, that’s all I could stand. It’s so painfully self-indulgent and boring. I didn’t find it funny at all.
March 26, 2018
North Carolina belle goes to New York and tries to go native. Some very cute essays, some really clever turns of phrase, some self-indulgent ramblings.
July 22, 2019
A very wonderful book with a terrific ending-one star deducted for a date rape joke that doesn’t hold up in 2019. But, were date rape jokes even acceptable in 2011?
August 13, 2024
Started reading this after I found it while cleaning out my late grandmothers house. As a fellow southern debutante who hopes to move to New York one day, I loved this book. Very witty writing, not necessarily a direct "storyline" but organized enough that you don't get lost and is still an interesting read. While I was reading I noticed that she mentions a "Will Hines" that she was friends with in college. I realized that around the same time she would have been at UNC, my mothers cousin was also at NC State, whose name is Will Hines. We did some digging and discovered that my grandmother actually dated Jane Bordens father, Bob Borden, for a brief period of time. We even found a picture of them together. A crazy coincidence that really helped me feel connected and remember this book.
August 4, 2018
This is a fairly old book, but I picked it up when I was in Durham for two weeks. I thought I'd like this because I love books on culture classes and, maybe, just maybe, I'd finally understand high society Southern belles. I'd hoped it would have me laughing til' I snorted considering the raves from Amy Poehler and others like her, and because she wrote for SNL. It seems like a compilations of stories she told the back cover reviewers over a drink in a Manhattan bar.
Let's just say that she's no David Sedaris. Don't quit your day job.
Let's just say that she's no David Sedaris. Don't quit your day job.
May 3, 2018
I couldn’t get into this book. Returned to the library.
November 28, 2020
I liked the writer but this was humorless, boring, rambled and scattered.
July 29, 2025
Okay. Some funny parts but a little too scattered to be cohesive. Even in some of the chapters the meaning / point of the chapter was lost.
May 26, 2013
While I sincerely liked Jane Borden’s “I Totally Meant To Do That,” I am still undecided if I should rate the book with 3 stars or 4 stars. Of course, by the time I post this to goodreads it will be a moot point but I have to address it in my review because I am honestly torn with how I feel about the book. On the one hand, I really enjoyed reading Borden’s stories. Jane, as a narrator, was very likeable. I especially enjoyed the chapters that featured Jane’s Aunt Jane. I think I could have read an entire book on her! On the other hand, I felt like the book was a bit disjointed. Some of the stories didn't seem to fit in with the overall theme of the book. And then there were times when I was reading a story and got through a couple of paragraphs only to realize I had no idea what was going on. The formation of her prose was sometimes unnecessarily confusing.
With all that said, the book was still a solid, enjoyable read. Its been said that a good book is akin to a good friend and that sentiment rings true for Borden’s “I Totally Meant To Do That.” She also reminded me of one of my favorite authors, David Sedaris. Though the comparison might have initially been implanted in my head based on an earlier review I had read, that review just compared the two authors based on their shared geography. After completing “I Totally Meant To Do That,” Borden shares more with Sedaris than North Carolina. Her style was reminiscent of Sedaris’s. Their stories start in one place but then branch out in unlikely directions only to circle back to the start. The difference between Borden and Sedaris, though, is that her stories seem to be on the cusp of being great but just aren’t there yet. It’s easy to tell, though, that she’ll get there. And I look forward to reading more.
With all that said, the book was still a solid, enjoyable read. Its been said that a good book is akin to a good friend and that sentiment rings true for Borden’s “I Totally Meant To Do That.” She also reminded me of one of my favorite authors, David Sedaris. Though the comparison might have initially been implanted in my head based on an earlier review I had read, that review just compared the two authors based on their shared geography. After completing “I Totally Meant To Do That,” Borden shares more with Sedaris than North Carolina. Her style was reminiscent of Sedaris’s. Their stories start in one place but then branch out in unlikely directions only to circle back to the start. The difference between Borden and Sedaris, though, is that her stories seem to be on the cusp of being great but just aren’t there yet. It’s easy to tell, though, that she’ll get there. And I look forward to reading more.
July 30, 2011
This was a really enjoyable beach read for me. I did grow up in NC (far more rural than the author) and have lived in New Haven, CT for five years, and I felt she captured the transitions okay. There were a few things that really stuck out to me -
The chapter titled "Rubber Balls for Weapons" deeply resonated with me (I cried, I'll admit it). The explanation of why Brother Jimmy's is the fake South, the longing for ACC basketball (though it will always be UNC-blue that brings out that desire to retch in me...), the description of going home to a huge family celebration and becoming a different person the minute you step off the plane, the defense of James Taylor - these things are fundamental truths, I see what she says.
I appreciated the chapter on how Craigslist housing appointments are like sororities, but having done two recent months of craigslist roommate hunting hell, I feel much more like it's online dating in a nutshell.
The chapter containing an argument about politeness - where she finally loses it on her friend - well-illustrated a lot of the tensions she feels.
I too have everything I own in my apartment in Connecticut, except for the boxes of hope chest crystal waiting on me to "be a grown up".
The author's general observations of city life are not as strong, but she does a beautiful job of capturing the tension of where is home and who am I if I am different people here and there, and she does it in a honest way. The lines are messy, but that's what makes it real.
The chapter titled "Rubber Balls for Weapons" deeply resonated with me (I cried, I'll admit it). The explanation of why Brother Jimmy's is the fake South, the longing for ACC basketball (though it will always be UNC-blue that brings out that desire to retch in me...), the description of going home to a huge family celebration and becoming a different person the minute you step off the plane, the defense of James Taylor - these things are fundamental truths, I see what she says.
I appreciated the chapter on how Craigslist housing appointments are like sororities, but having done two recent months of craigslist roommate hunting hell, I feel much more like it's online dating in a nutshell.
The chapter containing an argument about politeness - where she finally loses it on her friend - well-illustrated a lot of the tensions she feels.
I too have everything I own in my apartment in Connecticut, except for the boxes of hope chest crystal waiting on me to "be a grown up".
The author's general observations of city life are not as strong, but she does a beautiful job of capturing the tension of where is home and who am I if I am different people here and there, and she does it in a honest way. The lines are messy, but that's what makes it real.
September 22, 2011
I love love love love this book. It might be my favorite book ever.
The book is more of a compilation of vignettes than anything. The author moves to New York City after growing up in North Carolina and attending UNC for college. She chronicles life in New York City and the perception of southerners in New York and northerners and New Yorkers in the South. I can't even pick a favorite story, there are so many.
The main reason I loved this book so much is that I could really relate to the author on many levels. Though I'm not from the south, I am from a small town/close knit community and went to college at a semi-Southern school. I now live in Boston as I work on my PhD, and even though the author was describing New York City, I feel like most of the stories could apply to my life or life in any big city. The constant disdain of several of the "Northerners" Jane describes toward southern culture and small town life in general really hit home for me (and in Boston, it seems that the "south" is anything south of New York).
This book is really for anyone who grew up in a small town (southern or otherwise) and moved to a big Northern City after college. I can understand how people who haven't been exposed to southern culture or who fit Jane Borden's description of a stereotypical Northerner wouldn't like this book, but for me, it was perfect.
The book is more of a compilation of vignettes than anything. The author moves to New York City after growing up in North Carolina and attending UNC for college. She chronicles life in New York City and the perception of southerners in New York and northerners and New Yorkers in the South. I can't even pick a favorite story, there are so many.
The main reason I loved this book so much is that I could really relate to the author on many levels. Though I'm not from the south, I am from a small town/close knit community and went to college at a semi-Southern school. I now live in Boston as I work on my PhD, and even though the author was describing New York City, I feel like most of the stories could apply to my life or life in any big city. The constant disdain of several of the "Northerners" Jane describes toward southern culture and small town life in general really hit home for me (and in Boston, it seems that the "south" is anything south of New York).
This book is really for anyone who grew up in a small town (southern or otherwise) and moved to a big Northern City after college. I can understand how people who haven't been exposed to southern culture or who fit Jane Borden's description of a stereotypical Northerner wouldn't like this book, but for me, it was perfect.
September 23, 2011
It was ok. The first chapter was really confusing, because she kept jumping from the present to the past to the present to the past. (This continued occasionally throughout the book.) After that I started to enjoy it more. Then after that it just felt meh. I think there's only so much any one book should contain of "New Yorkers do this! New Yorkers don't do that! In New York, you're weird if you (blank)!". I live here and while all those things are true, it's so cliched by now. (New Yorkers don't like cliches!)
However, there were bits that I definitely liked:
p. 44: "When one walks up Seventh Avenue, she is stepping behind one person, in front of another, around a couple holding hands, underneath a window washer, over the heroin addict nodding off, and between two piles of poo. New York offers only a prepositional life. No action exists without a modifier."
p. 74: "I refuse to believe that when Billy Joel said he was in a New York state of mind, he meant he felt like punching a cabbie."
p. 204: "Investing in permanence is discouraged when movement is the only constant in life." (This perfectly encapsulates my thoughts of NYC--I can't even invest in permanent *thought* about it!)
However, there were bits that I definitely liked:
p. 44: "When one walks up Seventh Avenue, she is stepping behind one person, in front of another, around a couple holding hands, underneath a window washer, over the heroin addict nodding off, and between two piles of poo. New York offers only a prepositional life. No action exists without a modifier."
p. 74: "I refuse to believe that when Billy Joel said he was in a New York state of mind, he meant he felt like punching a cabbie."
p. 204: "Investing in permanence is discouraged when movement is the only constant in life." (This perfectly encapsulates my thoughts of NYC--I can't even invest in permanent *thought* about it!)
May 23, 2013
I found this book to be entertaining and insightful at times, but occasionally a bit convoluted and distant with regards to keeping my attention. I was intrigued by the author's concept (having grown up in NC and moved to NYC as an adult, she contemplates the disparity among the two locales and her decision to choose one over the other). She weaves in interesting anecdotes and metaphors and delivers funny stories and lines, but I did find myself struggling to finish some sections; at times, the writing felt laborious, a sharp contrast to the dialogue and anecdotes that flowed freely and told a simpler version of the story and theme at hand.
I did pull a few snippets that resonated:
"...it seeped through my gossamer-thin skin, planted seeds, and blossomed into full-fledged hatred -- which also remained inside me."
"And I posit that the fiction reader and the nonfiction writer employ the same process: We search for patterns and meaning in stories that have already been written."
"Maybe the answer is in my words. Maybe I already know it without knowing it. I only need to read between the lines, find the clues that my subconscious left behind."
I did pull a few snippets that resonated:
"...it seeped through my gossamer-thin skin, planted seeds, and blossomed into full-fledged hatred -- which also remained inside me."
"And I posit that the fiction reader and the nonfiction writer employ the same process: We search for patterns and meaning in stories that have already been written."
"Maybe the answer is in my words. Maybe I already know it without knowing it. I only need to read between the lines, find the clues that my subconscious left behind."
June 10, 2013
(Disclaimer: I lived in New York for the first 17 years of my life and intermittently thereafter, and I've been in NC for the past 19. I believe I'm qualified to review this book.)
I so wanted to like this one. The usual story is the New Yawker who moves down South and is amused, frustrated, and/or horrified by the natives, and I was hoping that this book would turn that cliche' on its head. I wanted to read about how being in NYC changed the author, what maybe wasn't so great about the South, etc. But it is so superficial--NYCers tend to wear black! Southerners are big on family! (Psst--so are "Yankees.") It also lacks a cohesive narrative arc--it's written as a series of essays/blog postish chapters of varying lengths. On the positive side, she can tell a story, and she's very funny in places. I just didn't get the impression that she grew at all throughout her time in The Big Apple.
There are wonderful and terrible things about both NY and NC, but this book isn't the way to find out about them, unfortunately. Bah.
I so wanted to like this one. The usual story is the New Yawker who moves down South and is amused, frustrated, and/or horrified by the natives, and I was hoping that this book would turn that cliche' on its head. I wanted to read about how being in NYC changed the author, what maybe wasn't so great about the South, etc. But it is so superficial--NYCers tend to wear black! Southerners are big on family! (Psst--so are "Yankees.") It also lacks a cohesive narrative arc--it's written as a series of essays/blog postish chapters of varying lengths. On the positive side, she can tell a story, and she's very funny in places. I just didn't get the impression that she grew at all throughout her time in The Big Apple.
There are wonderful and terrible things about both NY and NC, but this book isn't the way to find out about them, unfortunately. Bah.
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