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Found
Found is Jennifer Lauck's sequel to her New York Times bestseller Blackbird: A Childhood Lost and Found. More than one woman's search for her biological parents, Found is a story of loss, adjustment, and survival. Lauck's investigation into her own troubled past leads her to research that shows the profound trauma undergone by infants when they're separated from their birth mothers—a finding that provides a framework for her writing as well as her life.
Though Lauck's story is centered around her search for her birth mother, it's also about her quest to overcome her displacement, her desire to please and fit in, and her lack of a sense of self—all issues she attributes to having been adopted, and also to having lost her adoptive parents at the early age of nine. Throughout her thirties and early forties, she tries to overcome her struggles by becoming a mother and by pursuing a spiritual path she hopes will lead to wholeness, but she discovers that the elusive peace she has been seeking can only come through investigating—and coming to terms with—her past.
Though Lauck's story is centered around her search for her birth mother, it's also about her quest to overcome her displacement, her desire to please and fit in, and her lack of a sense of self—all issues she attributes to having been adopted, and also to having lost her adoptive parents at the early age of nine. Throughout her thirties and early forties, she tries to overcome her struggles by becoming a mother and by pursuing a spiritual path she hopes will lead to wholeness, but she discovers that the elusive peace she has been seeking can only come through investigating—and coming to terms with—her past.
272 pages, Hardcover
First published February 22, 2011
18 people are currently reading
1020 people want to read
About the author
Jennifer Lauck
10 books314 followersThe international bestseller of Blackbird, Still Waters, Show Me the Way, Found and The Summer of '72, author of Flight School on Substack and teacher @ The Blackbird Studio for Writers.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 99 reviews
February 14, 2011
Okay, this is probably not cool...a writer is supposed to be distanced from her work but I really love this book. I am so happy to offer it up as answer to Blackbird as well. Finally, FINALLY I discovered satisfying answers that meant something to me. It took eighteen years of my life to get the answers I was seeking, but I got them and I found a mother too.
I am now in successful reunion with my birth mother, first mother, original mother (and since I don't have a mother other than her now, also just my MOTHER) and I am thrilled. She is a lovely person and we speak each week, with some sense of care of caution. It's a slow journey but I do love her with all my heart. Knowing her heals me.
So this book is the end of that journey and I think it's a damn good read. I worked my butt off on it but now, looking back, I would certainly make changes. But that's art. We do what we can and then we move on.
I am now in successful reunion with my birth mother, first mother, original mother (and since I don't have a mother other than her now, also just my MOTHER) and I am thrilled. She is a lovely person and we speak each week, with some sense of care of caution. It's a slow journey but I do love her with all my heart. Knowing her heals me.
So this book is the end of that journey and I think it's a damn good read. I worked my butt off on it but now, looking back, I would certainly make changes. But that's art. We do what we can and then we move on.
November 21, 2012
This is Jennifer Lauck's fourth memoir about her difficult childhood, and I'm starting to lose faith. I believed everything she said in Blackbird and Still Waters and her story touched my heart. But in Found, she contradicts several parts of the story. I feel duped. Five seconds' worth of research on Google shows I'm not the only one.
And even setting that aside and allowing for the fact that memories are not historical records of fact, I just couldn't relate to the woman depicted in this book. I don't understand the need to cling to endless misery. So you had a bad childhood. That sucks, and I'm sorry. Now you're married to a good man with two wonderful kids. Get over it. Or at least try. Perhaps just stop with the self-destructive behaviour, or get a therapist, or tell yourself that you're an adult now and it's time to grow up.
But I guess she wouldn't sell any books by being happy.
And even setting that aside and allowing for the fact that memories are not historical records of fact, I just couldn't relate to the woman depicted in this book. I don't understand the need to cling to endless misery. So you had a bad childhood. That sucks, and I'm sorry. Now you're married to a good man with two wonderful kids. Get over it. Or at least try. Perhaps just stop with the self-destructive behaviour, or get a therapist, or tell yourself that you're an adult now and it's time to grow up.
But I guess she wouldn't sell any books by being happy.
July 15, 2011
Jennifer Lauck is an accomplished writer and a gifted human being. She proved herself as a writer in her previous books, including Blackbird and Still Waters. She has also proven herself as an extraordinary human being and woman. In addition to writing her brave, honest, and revealing memoirs, she has been a speaker, teacher, and investigative reporter.
Jennifer uses all of her gifts again, in this moving and inspirational memoir: Found. Here, she takes us on her journey in search of her birth mother. Feeling incomplete, Jennifer feels the need to find her to become a whole person. She feels the need to come to terms with her past she must come to terms with her birth mother. Still struggling to belong, to fit in, to find peace within herself she must make peace with her past, with the life she lost.
Jennifer spent most of her life trying to find herself. She built her own world, forged her own way in it, and created her own identity. You have to respect that. In her we find courage, intelligence, and inspiration. She is an amazing woman with much to offer and much to be proud of.
March 31, 2021
I really enjoyed reading this installment of Jennifer Lauck's memoir. As someone who learned her biological father was not who I thought I related to her search for her biological family. The trauma played such an imperative part of her life.
I really enjoyed reading about her trans formation and finding her true self again.
I really enjoyed reading about her trans formation and finding her true self again.
July 31, 2014
In language stunning in its ability to describe a person, scene, and emotion in few words, Jennifer Lauck takes us into her world. The world of a baby wrested from her mother at birth, a child whose adoptive parents both die before she is ten years old, and a journalist, mother, and author who is forced to deal with feelings she doesn't understand until she comes to terms with her own adoption. This is more than just Jennifer's story. It is a story for anyone who has ever felt unloved or out of place in this world and has looked inside themselves for healing.
Jennifer is a master storyteller. I applaud her courage in sharing her mythic and spiritual journey to reunite with the Mother she never met but always knew at some deeper sensory level.
Jennifer is a master storyteller. I applaud her courage in sharing her mythic and spiritual journey to reunite with the Mother she never met but always knew at some deeper sensory level.
August 22, 2018
Beautiful memoir. This book kept me wanting to know what was going to happen next.
April 1, 2011
In another great memoir, author Jennifer Lauck shares her powerful search for identity that led her through two marriages; a quest for serenity through meditation; and finally on a journey of discovery that led to her birth mother. The search for a sense of belonging, connectedness, and identity consumed her for many years.
She describes in much detail the feeling of never quite belonging, as she was shunted from one home to another after the deaths of her adoptive parents. She ended up being adopted yet again, further eroding that sense of belonging. There was always something missing.
Later she comes to believe that the separation of a child from its mother at birth is trauma in and of itself, stemming from the shared hormonal connection in utero. She explains it as the laying down of connections and patterns, and these first feelings (of trauma and loss) are foundational patterns that are nearly impossible to eradicate.
She also describes feeling a sense of familiarity upon meeting and connecting with her birth family. No matter what or how their journeys would continue from those moments, the connection satisfied an unfulfilled need.
When the author reached a place of acceptance—about what had happened so far and what would happen next—she posed these questions to herself:
"Did I learn? Did I grow? Can I say I am a woman—no matter my name—who brings healing and love? Or will I forever be defined and governed by what I lost? What is the value of what has passed?"
"Found: A Memoir" was a very readable story that touched me, even though I have never experienced these same events. In my social work career, though, I have borne witness to the deep familial (and biological) connections between parents and children, and the great yearning to reunite when they have been separated. All of these experiences remind us that we need to be sensitive and thoughtful about these issues, realizing that we have much to learn.
I highly recommend this book, which earned five stars from me, for anyone interested in family and the ties that bind us to one another.
She describes in much detail the feeling of never quite belonging, as she was shunted from one home to another after the deaths of her adoptive parents. She ended up being adopted yet again, further eroding that sense of belonging. There was always something missing.
Later she comes to believe that the separation of a child from its mother at birth is trauma in and of itself, stemming from the shared hormonal connection in utero. She explains it as the laying down of connections and patterns, and these first feelings (of trauma and loss) are foundational patterns that are nearly impossible to eradicate.
She also describes feeling a sense of familiarity upon meeting and connecting with her birth family. No matter what or how their journeys would continue from those moments, the connection satisfied an unfulfilled need.
When the author reached a place of acceptance—about what had happened so far and what would happen next—she posed these questions to herself:
"Did I learn? Did I grow? Can I say I am a woman—no matter my name—who brings healing and love? Or will I forever be defined and governed by what I lost? What is the value of what has passed?"
"Found: A Memoir" was a very readable story that touched me, even though I have never experienced these same events. In my social work career, though, I have borne witness to the deep familial (and biological) connections between parents and children, and the great yearning to reunite when they have been separated. All of these experiences remind us that we need to be sensitive and thoughtful about these issues, realizing that we have much to learn.
I highly recommend this book, which earned five stars from me, for anyone interested in family and the ties that bind us to one another.
April 12, 2013
I read Blackbird years ago and loved it so much I ran out to get the second book and continuation "Still Waters". And I really enjoyed it. I was such a fan of these books that I leant them to someone and they were never returned to me and I was sad About the lost. Years passed and I thought often about the book "Blackbird ". That I went and bought them to reread them again ten years later, and I was so happy to discover that this author Jennifer Lauck had written another book called "Found". I bought them all. I found it odd that on the book cover it says that Found is the true sequel to "Blackbird". I thought then what was "Still Waters". I thought maybe she had continued her story so I was excited. I could not finish this book. And I rarely do not finish a book. But I was so frustrated with this book and Ms. Lauck the author. She contradicts herself from her other books. Why? Why? Why did you write this book at all? How can I believe in your story and I really did believe in your story when you change things and how things happened from the other books. I wish that the book "Found" had to stayed lost to me forever. My advice read the books "Blackbird and Still Water" leave the book "Found" lost.
April 14, 2015
After reading "Blackbird" (this author's first memoir), I was dying to read anything else by her. This one is written from more of an adult, contemplative place. I loved getting to find out more of the back story of her childhood. And I felt this overwhelming need to call/email my own Mom to thank her for everything... all the stuff you take for granted when you grow up with your own biological parents. She also perfectly described the kind of feelings I have as a mother of my own children. However, I wasn't "hooked" quite as much as with her first book. Maybe because there's less tragic drama? But I still really, really liked it.
February 23, 2013
This book is written by Jennifer detailing her horrible life. To be honest I only made it half way through the book before I quit reading it. Jennifer's parents gave her up for adoption, yes that has to be hard, but you have to move on! This book had me so depressed and angry that she never tried to help herself or to grow as a person. Jennifer just hooked up with every man she met and tried to blame them for her horrible childhood. I can't imagine what her children have been put through. Good editing and writing style are the only good things I found in this book. I kept waiting for Jennifer to move forward and grow, but it never came.
February 16, 2011
GORGEOUS. loved it.
January 22, 2021
This memoir is beautifully written and crafted. I really enjoyed the journey through these pages and I wanted to know so much more.
Jennifer Lauck brought me into the depths of her emotions. At times it felt like drowning but then, she is truly Found and I'm so happy the 'farm' was not how she became found.
Without personal experience with adoption, some of the 'mother bonds' and expectations Jennifer Lauck wrote about seems 'far fetched' to me.
I adore how this memoir highlights the importance of searching for meaning and understanding of the parent/child relationship in the historic background of our parental lineage, as a route to our inner peace.
I found this with Fault Lines: How Hidden Fractures Still Threaten the World Economy and Not My Father's Son too. This was something I missed in Jessica Berger Gross's Estranged.
Jennifer Lauck brought me into the depths of her emotions. At times it felt like drowning but then, she is truly Found and I'm so happy the 'farm' was not how she became found.
Without personal experience with adoption, some of the 'mother bonds' and expectations Jennifer Lauck wrote about seems 'far fetched' to me.
I adore how this memoir highlights the importance of searching for meaning and understanding of the parent/child relationship in the historic background of our parental lineage, as a route to our inner peace.
I found this with Fault Lines: How Hidden Fractures Still Threaten the World Economy and Not My Father's Son too. This was something I missed in Jessica Berger Gross's Estranged.
October 5, 2016
Sequel to "Blackbird" and "Still Waters".
February 24, 2017
This memoir was heart touching. It was one of my first memoirs with a different story. Yet all members are different, this one is more unique than another. Jennifer Lauck had more of a soft and caring story. The other memoirs where more vulgar. I truly do feel the pain of Jennifer struggle. I teared up at some points within the story toward the end. I enjoyed the different time zones and sequence that the book expressed. Lauck could of cleaned up some chapters and more easy flowing. The book was not as difficult as I thought to read, since being Laucks second memoir. I truly do recommend this book to anyone who has a soft heart. The book offered me a more observant mindset, by being aware of my family. Having family is more than having someone to always come back, but a sense of safety. Safety that the book was able to make more clean to those with a missing parents.
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March 13, 2011If I may generalize by only having read *reviews* of 'Blackbird,' Jennifer Lauck's unusual gift is to recapture the voice of the person she was, in writing her memoirs, and so it is often difficult to decide whether or not you like the writing, or her self at the time she was writing of; it is hard to know whether or not the writing is unaware, or it was her long past self, unawares.
There are many pages in the book during which I shook my head, nonplussed with Jennifer's simple and wide-eyed point of view, or overwhelmed with her as she swept herself into Tara meditations. At times, she didn't seem quite altogether; and I cannot tell if this is a literary device or a flaw in the book. I suspect it to be a device, as in the end there is a nuanced and thoughtful summing-up, an always-generous and understanding perspective of why others did the things they did, a clear and non-judging and piercing nugget of intentions as they ultimately conflict with conventions. No one, of course, *meant* to hurt anyone else, no one meant to hurt Jennifer; of course, hurt was done. It was a riveting and soul-shaking hurt, and it's no wonder that this book should be recommended to the adoption community. While it may be useful to those considering giving children up for adoption or adopting other children, its most keen insights are into the substantial and devastating industry behind adoptions in the 50s and 60s, when teenagers were routinely forced into giving up their babies, and it was quite acceptable for the girl's family to pretend the child had never existed.
I want to undo things that have been done; I don't know if that's possible; like Jennifer, I don't know what should be done about adoption today.
There are many pages in the book during which I shook my head, nonplussed with Jennifer's simple and wide-eyed point of view, or overwhelmed with her as she swept herself into Tara meditations. At times, she didn't seem quite altogether; and I cannot tell if this is a literary device or a flaw in the book. I suspect it to be a device, as in the end there is a nuanced and thoughtful summing-up, an always-generous and understanding perspective of why others did the things they did, a clear and non-judging and piercing nugget of intentions as they ultimately conflict with conventions. No one, of course, *meant* to hurt anyone else, no one meant to hurt Jennifer; of course, hurt was done. It was a riveting and soul-shaking hurt, and it's no wonder that this book should be recommended to the adoption community. While it may be useful to those considering giving children up for adoption or adopting other children, its most keen insights are into the substantial and devastating industry behind adoptions in the 50s and 60s, when teenagers were routinely forced into giving up their babies, and it was quite acceptable for the girl's family to pretend the child had never existed.
I want to undo things that have been done; I don't know if that's possible; like Jennifer, I don't know what should be done about adoption today.
July 19, 2015
Adoption is born of profound grief, and yet can offer equally profound joy. While Lauck writes compellingly, creating scenes whose raw beauty is not soon forgotten, her appreciation for the complexity of human beings and situations fails her in the last third of this book ... and she too readily blames adoption for all that's lacking in her life. As the parent of both biological and adopted children, I was moved by her reunion with her first mother and hoped it would give her perspective on others in her life and the trials she had so remarkably endured ... but instead, she claims to have "found" what proves to be too simplistic an answer. It was heartwrenching to me that she dismisses as superficial her relationship with her deeply selfish and flawed yet loving adoptive parents, whose admittedly flickering light suffuses her first book, and embraces biology as the essential component of attachment in childhood. Yes, adoption is an imperfect solution, and its challenges can be difficult to navigate, but it can also be a nurturing and rewarding path. I hope that Lauck continues her journey of discovery instead of remaining at this narrow and unpromising wayside and gains insight that every family is different, and imperfect solutions can sometimes be better than no solution at all.
September 12, 2011
What a profoundly beautiful story. I will never get tired of this memoir. It speaks volumes to my heart and soul. Thank you Jennifer for sharing your life and passion with us...you are amazing!
If you are adopted or know someone that is, I urge you to read this book. As I sit here this morning, having just completed the story, my heart is overflowing with tears of gratitude for the insight Jennifer has shared. Holding nothing back, she has shared her soul and I feel connected with her because she understands my heart as well. Being adopted changes a person and we can spend a lifetime searching for connection to someone. A search for identify that is excruciatingly devastating at best. I am overcome with the hope she shares that we all might become whole one day.
Please read this story. Open your heart to others for you could be a key to their healing. Bless you Jennifer.
If you are adopted or know someone that is, I urge you to read this book. As I sit here this morning, having just completed the story, my heart is overflowing with tears of gratitude for the insight Jennifer has shared. Holding nothing back, she has shared her soul and I feel connected with her because she understands my heart as well. Being adopted changes a person and we can spend a lifetime searching for connection to someone. A search for identify that is excruciatingly devastating at best. I am overcome with the hope she shares that we all might become whole one day.
Please read this story. Open your heart to others for you could be a key to their healing. Bless you Jennifer.
March 13, 2011
So, I have had the utmost privilege of being taught by Jennifer, and I have been counting down the days until her latest book was released. I knew it was going to be amazing, yet I was unprepared for just how amazing. And I don't say this lightly, I read a lot of books. A lot of memoirs. But the day this book came in the mail, I flipped it open to peruse the first page or so, then found myself curled on the couch eight hours later, having read the entire thing. I closed the book and felt...changed, somehow. I read it in one sitting, and was riveted the entire way through. Jennifer is an amazing storyteller, and I only hope that someday I can be even half the writer that she is.
Her story is haunting. Just read it. You'll see.
Her story is haunting. Just read it. You'll see.
March 24, 2011
When I see the name,Jennifer Lauck, I looked to see if the book is new, or if I have read it. I just discovered Found on the "new" shelf the other day, which book slut that I am, I felt the pull towards "new." It's a great read, and more than that, Lauck shows courage, moral fibre, vulnerability, authenticity, and just tells a good story. I remember reading her second book and sad she got a divorce, but now, i see how mother loss, abuse, and just her path reveals incredible events.
I cheer for her. pain is pain, and I think when we read about one another's lives, we form community. Her kids are dear, everyone in her life who loves her, I wish totally well. This is a good book!
I cheer for her. pain is pain, and I think when we read about one another's lives, we form community. Her kids are dear, everyone in her life who loves her, I wish totally well. This is a good book!
April 2, 2011
I could not put this down. This made me completely rethink the way I have always viewed adoption. As a memoir, it hit all the notes: honest, sympathetic, gripping, and I was always rooting for author (which as it turns out, that means I was rooting for myself). This made me think about my own son and daughter and appreciate that connection. When you get to be the mom, you get to call the shots, and you can choose to abondon, embrace, or go somewhere in between. I'm really glad I get to be my kids' mom :)
June 17, 2011
Jennifer Lauck doesn't disappoint her readers. Found resonates with those who have read Blackbird and know Jennifer's story. She writes with stark reality and tells her true story, not someone else's story. In Found, the author has provided great insight into the world of both the adopted child who was given up by its natural mother or forced to give up the child and that mother to the very depth of each one's emotions. A must read if you've picked up Blackbird and read it already.
March 17, 2011
This book found me at the perfect time in my life. The true story of an adoptee searching for her birthmother evolves into a story about searching for her sense of self. Being an adoptee myself it has been difficult finding books on adoption that actually resonate with me, most revolve around the process of adoption and the adoption parents.
June 26, 2011
This book is a sequel and I have not read the first book, but this book stands well on its own. It's about a woman's search for her birth mother and how adoption affected her life and her own experience as a mother. Got a new perspective on adoption which I did not expect. Looking forward to reading the first book.
May 15, 2011
It was nice to read the continuation in her journey as she accepts her past and becoming a mother of her two children. I did not find this book as compelling as Blackbird, but it is a very quick read which I read in one sitting.
July 4, 2011
I picked this up and read it in one sitting, it was a very quick read. It reminded me of "The Girls who Went Away" only this memoir was more in depth. I read it without reading "Blackbird" first which wasn't a issue/concern at all.
November 1, 2021
I am hooked on Jennifer Lauck. I love her honesty that she mixes with vulnerability and bluntness for a writing style that captures my heart and mind. She does her research and says it as it is. I throughly enjoyed all three of her memoirs and read them in order. This one focuses on finding her biological mother and the significance that had on her life thereafter. It seems as if this discovery and subsequent reunion has a huge impact on Lauck and the sadness that followed her throughout life. She has made a big difference in the lives of adoptees, adoptive parents and biological parents who have had to deal with the effects being adopted has on everyone. I commend her for that. Her reunion with her mother is poignant and filled with every kind of emotion there can be. I can imagine how difficult it was and Lauck takes you with her on this incredible journey of finally finding her roots after a difficult childhood that left deep scars that took years to heal. It really makes you understand the trauma of a baby/mother who are torn from each other and the aftermath that ensues for the rest of their lives. I am a fan now and would highly recommend her books.
June 25, 2017
At first, I found myself slightly irritated by the repetition of Lauck's earlier books/stories. I understand the need for including past details dor readers who may mot have read her first 2 memoirs, but I think she could have summarized her past more succinctly for this book. That said, my midway through, I was again sucked in by her beautiful prose, her unique view of the world and her confusing life. I am not sure if I would necessarily like Jennifer Lauck if I met her in person-the spirituality obsession kind of creeps me out a bit, but I do really love her writing style. This third memoir chronicles her search for and connection with her birth mother, or "first mother", and includes a lot of strange to me theories about the traumas of adoptees that I wonder if she adopted as coping mechanisms herself after finding them in one or two books on the subject and clings to them because they fit HER narrative, or if they are actually scientifically sound. Regardless, I liked the book, and faling back into her life, and am happy she found some semblance of peace.
February 23, 2021
I felt drawn into the sadness of this little girl who has been misplaced. The tragedy of her parents having her taken away for adoption is heartbreaking. Although I am an advocate for adoption if it is handled compassionately and not forced, in this case the action of well-meaning though misguided grandparents has an unhappy outcome. It was this little girl's misfortune to be pushed from pillar to post, but that is not necessarily the fault of being adopted, but like so many things in life, a case of bad luck. I found the references to the detrimental effect of the infant being taken from the birth mother hard to fathom. However, this is Jennifer's tale to tell and who am I to question her truth.
It is an interesting twist that finding her birth mother was not ultimately what made her feel 'found'. It is far more complex than that and Jennifer takes us on her own personal journey of discovery, acceptance and resolution.
In addition to enjoying the story, I also appreciated the beautiful writing. It is a well crafted memoir.
It is an interesting twist that finding her birth mother was not ultimately what made her feel 'found'. It is far more complex than that and Jennifer takes us on her own personal journey of discovery, acceptance and resolution.
In addition to enjoying the story, I also appreciated the beautiful writing. It is a well crafted memoir.
January 14, 2023
Lauck’s straightforward style is one of my favorite things about her writing: her reporter past is clear, and details are hammered out. This is also an interesting story about the trauma of closed adoption. One issue I continue to have with Lauck is probably unfair, as it isn’t about her writing per se. Instead, it’s about digs at other people without seeming to realize it (e.g., her birth mother’s seeming lack of vulnerability or depth). At a certain point, Lauck unknowingly shows herself as an untrustworthy narrator, due to her inability to look baldly at herself. This is where the reporter past might be biting her in the ass, due to the writing style that presents itself as fact. Memoir is not about fact: it’s about a story as seen by the narrator. And in the hands of a reliable narrator, we understand that the narrator knows they are only presenting one side of the story. I’m not certain Lauck knows that.
February 23, 2021
I really devoured this book - don't know why I loved it so much. I can't really relate to the adoption theory as I don't have any personal experience, altho I do know many who have adopted or have been adopted.
I just enjoyed the "voice" of the author and her perseverance to make her "shitty" life better through thick and thin. It takes something special (an inner strength) to overlook all the bad that has happened and try to make the present better than the past. It also gave me deep thought about the relationship between mother and child. And......how it may affect your adult life - just food for thought !!
I read this before Blackbird to give me some insight before I delved into that book. I'm glad I did and now I can't wait to start Blackbird. Also have Still Waters which I will try as well.
I just enjoyed the "voice" of the author and her perseverance to make her "shitty" life better through thick and thin. It takes something special (an inner strength) to overlook all the bad that has happened and try to make the present better than the past. It also gave me deep thought about the relationship between mother and child. And......how it may affect your adult life - just food for thought !!
I read this before Blackbird to give me some insight before I delved into that book. I'm glad I did and now I can't wait to start Blackbird. Also have Still Waters which I will try as well.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 99 reviews