I personally think this is a book every healthcare individual must read! Period! But others will derive a lot from the book too!
When I recollect my childhood and years in medicine, I now recognise in explicit cognition, just how much my parents have sacrificed to get me where it is I am. Reading about this book overwhelmed me with this truth I have always recognised in fragments but never quite as deeply as I am doing now.
This is the story of a ghetto boy hailing from the streets of Detroit, who climbs monumental rungs of obstacles and challenges (so much 'nigger' statements and ridicule included) to finally become a renowned paediatric neurosurgeon in the John Hopkins Medical Institution, Baltimore, Maryland.
I see Sonya as a reminder of my own mother. My mother has always pushed me to take challenges with a pinch of salt and wade through them with a smile like she has always done. Just recently she had been telling me to climb higher and higher in my path, motivating me by stating, "If you are determined, nothing can stop you, no bad criticism, nothing." The lessons I am learning from the book match closely with those my mother teaches me so often. My father too.
The book helped me trust that in moments of ridicule and shame that the world is wont to grant (I faced many at workplaces), you have the power of God that is willing you forth with massive amounts of endurance and peace that is beyond anybody's reach.
Many lessons I learnt from the book, one of them is—— “I am going to get my life situation straightened out," said by the unbending stamina of a woman, Sonya, Carson's mother herself, when her life spirals downwards many times, in between her jobs in people's homes, a divorce, and the consistent pile of motivation she had ready for her sons just so they never had to take any notice whatsoever of her hidden struggle and depression.
Reminds me of my own mother. She is just the same, she won't stop at anything to get what she wants. Come what may, and she will still make her dream come true. She came from very humble beginnings and economy, and never had books of her own to study. So often she copied other people's books to create her own.
I recall that when I had joined the MBBS college in Kolkata which wasn't the one I would have liked to be in (something pretty irrelevant in shaping a person as a good doctor, but unknown to me back then), I felt enormously felled in esteem in the initial months, watching myself circled by students around who had cracked bigger entrance exams many of which I had failed. The similar thing had been experienced by Ben Carson when he got into Yale. And in the midst of the recognition of one's lower intelligence amongst those around (which is an error in perception to begin with), he was very close to giving up when his mother's voice rang in his head, that said,
"Bennie, you can do it! Why, son, you can do anything you want, and you can do it better than anybody else. I believe in you."
When Ben Carson heard the words of his mother, he turned to God and prayed, wondering how he would come up against the questions that awaited his chemistry test the following day. You will be surprised at what happened after that! I will leave you to find it out for yourself.
Anyways, this is very similar to my story. My parents have always told me that if you really want something and work at it, you will see things happen your way. And this truth has repeatedly appeared in my life!
On another note, I must add, I have had experiences during my tough medical years, when disease paled me down, or people tried crushing me and boycotting me or so, but a strange presence of a inner power had come to clasp me in the midst of my surrender to worldly pressure and at the point where I had thought I would crash, everything fell exactly where they needed to be---AND ACTUALLY MORE!
I genuinely felt I was reading about my life in many places.
But the overarching lesson I found was this--> Just because you hailed from poverty and humble beginnings, it has absolutely no bearing on what you can do with your life, and nobody's opinion stands a chance to your faith in a higher power and diligent work!
However, a little sidenote I would like to add- Ever since I discovered depression flooding my life, and I began unearthing the serious supremacy my career+goals+dreams had become for me, I have set myself on a whole new route of understanding life, not as texts and derivatives of people's statements, but as my self-inquiry (grossly disillusioned then as it is now) wanted to yield, which is---> Why attach joy to a goal when bliss is our natural state of being?! This I discovered in 2018 deep in meditation (although I falter by attaching too much importance to my egoic ways often)....
Career, relationships etc are only accessories to life. Life itself is enough for joy! Joy is seated right here, INSIDE!
I realised slowly and gradually that this "goal-oriented" way of being is equivalent to not learning how to immerse into the exuberance of the "NOW." The more I evolve through breaking past whatever I hear, and by allowing my self-inquiry on life shine, the more I realise, a goal is just a thought and basing your whole life over a such a thought is absolutely important for a world, yes! (Look at Ben Carson. Look at all the wonderful surgeries he is doing to separate Siamese twins) but isn't to be considered in the shadow of forgetting to smile in the "NOW".
All in all basing all of one's life's joy on a singular thought makes no sense, but basing all your life's ACTIVITIES around that thought----that's perfectly fine! But just don't keep the joy on hold! :) That's my additional point here! This I understood because me, myself and I, lost in the swirl of ambitions and goals I had picked early in my life, hadn't understood back then why I had been grieving all the time......to finally discover after enormous self-study and digging holes into my psyche, that I was keeping my joy on hold just because my goals were taking time to manifest! How ridiculous !
Learning to live joyfully no matter what, AND, thereafter, attempting your "goals" so they can acquire fruition is the way! Not merely the latter!
"The clock is ticking, time to smile" :) Goals might not come true, but smile shouldn't be denied a chance just because life isn't happening your way!
Joy first! And it is already inside! There are people I know who have extreme little and have failed thousands of times but if you see them you will not want to leave them---they are madly in love with the "now" and are always, all the time cracking jokes and cherishing every moment, loving others, gleefully wandering around, never wanting to be "special."
Wait, I have to state that Ben Carson never wanted to be special either, at least as wisdom began seeping within him deeper. Infact, he wanted to know how he could become someone who would offer his best neurosurgery services to the world. So, I am just adding a few personal thoughts which I deeply feel people on the path of goals-and-dreams must incorporate. So, Ben Carson's story continues to inspire me regardless of my thoughts.
What I really loved in addition to all the lessons I read out of this book is the honesty in the language---it's so simple and authentic. He even added a chapter about how he controls his temper. I have seen so so so many doctors around me who have absolutely no clue about how to control their temper. And they are doing major surgeries and running clinics, yelling at patients. I don't exactly blame them for the saddest of all things is that schools don't bother teaching about mastering EQ. Anyways, that was such an admirable thing in the book of Ben Carson....I really admire him!
I want to write some more of the lessons I read in this novel-->
1) Sonya' words---> " Bennie, what's inside counts the most. Anybody can dress up on the outside and be dead inside."
Hah! This message is precisely what doctors everywhere need to learn. I see the "doctor-entitlement" nonsense becoming a real problem in many parts of India and I recall being clutched by it too once, until one day, I cried so hard for being that way, and have never been that way since. A friend of mine named Avinash from Himachal once told me---" Pehle acche insaan bano, phir bade doctor." (translation--> first become a good human inside (kind and loving), then go and become a skilled doctor) as a message he wished many of our seniors could learn since they verbally bashed many patients and juniors PGTs in our hospital. I was so pleased to read these lines in the book. Every time I see someone stating something in the lines or depicting it in their behaviour, despite being so accomplished in real life, that person becomes someone I look up to and feel grateful to have crossed paths with. So, reading about Sonya's belief in this truth, made me admire her so deeply.
2) This one is not a lesson but there is a hidden lesson in these beautiful lines-->
" said by Ben Carson--> "Despite the smallness of the house, it was home. Today I see it more realistically---more like a matchbox. But to the three of us then, the house seemed like a mansion a really fabulous place."
3) Said By Ben about his mother, "Because she wanted to do the best she could for Curtis and me, she skimped on herself. Her clothes were clean nd respectable, but they weren't stylish. Ofcourse, being a kid I never noticed and she never complained.
4) Ben's mother tells him, "Only stupid people laugh at what you wear, Bennie," she'd say. Or, "it's not what you're wearing that makes the difference."
5) This lesson is a big one, and if you check out my review for --> Gifts from Eykis
by Wayne W. Dyer<---- you'll find that the author of that book mentions something similar. So the lesson is, in the lines of Sonya, Ben Carson's mother--->
"You are the captain of your ship,
So agree with the same-----
If you travel downward,
You have yourself to blame"
Overall, this is an amazing book and I am very grateful to Ben Carson and his mother for the same!
It will stay with me I am sure. Some books stay with you, you know! :)
I gave my mother a huge hug in the midst of this book reading and I am going to give her one more now! Bye :)