Letting Go of Shame: Understanding How Shame Affects Your Life

by Ronald T. Potter-Efron, Patricia S. Potter-Efron

The authors examine the nature of shame, reveal its sources, show its importance and healthy function, and distinguish normal shame from excessive shame. The Potter-Efrons help victims reconnect with themselves and with the community.

Genres: Psychology, Self Help, Nonfiction

216 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1989

Reviews

[Lisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have to qualify my rating by saying that although I didn't enjoy reading this book - it was a very painful experience and part of some much needed therapy - I gave it four stars because it was very helpful to my emotional health. I'd recommend it to anyone who is struggling with inappropriate or excessive guilt and/or depression.

[Scott · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was okay to me, but I didn't find anything spectacular. If you are new to the subject then I think I can recommend it as a good resource. The writing and examples are very simple and clear and anyone at any level can read and understand the subject.

If you are looking for weighter material with a bit more in the way of theory and analysis, this pone may not be for you.

Don't get me wrong - it can be a valuable resource for the right person. I take nothing away from the author or his treatment of the subject. This was written for a very wide audience with limited exposure to or knowledge of the depths of the human psyche. As such it does an exccellent job!

[David Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Written from an addiction-recovery perspective, this how-to manual gives thorough and practical guidelines, illustrations, and exercises in dealing with excessive shame issues that emerge from childhood and culture. Shame is an emotion that impacts our self-image and relationships with others. Identifying these feelings and developing a plan of action brings healing to these wounds and increases our well-being. These well researched and psychology grounded authors also acknowledge the spiritual component of a Higher Power. Of particular note is Chapter 13, “Healing the Shame of Current Relationships.”

[Bill Johnson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Must read for everyone who is in a helping profession. Personally helped me deal with my own shame. Excellent book!

[L.A. Jacob · Rating 3 out of 5]

You have to do the work. Otherwise it's just an interesting book on shame.

[Dorothy Nesbit · Rating 4 out of 5]

Recently, I have been exploring the role that shame has played in my life and bought this book following a recommendation from a therapist friend. I have been reading it alongside other sources - Brene Brown's famous TED talk and subsequent talk, entitled Listening To Shame.

I read Letting Go Of Shame in the course of a few days. The authors differentiate shame from guilt, explore the origins of shame and how to heal it. Their writing is clear and comprehensive. In addition, they offer exercises at the end of each chapter. I am still going through these and finding them valuable.

There are many valuable and more recent books that delve into trauma and shame sits, essentially, in the category of trauma that comes from being shamed. I think this book is a valuable addition to deepen understanding of how we are shamed and with what impact and also to examine how we shame others.

[Meri · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is a really useful resource to work through if you're someone who suffers from an excessive amount of shame. The chapters are short and written in an easy to understand way so laymen - the intended audience - aren't put off by an overwhelming amount of new psychological terms to learn.

At the end of each chapter, there are exercises that you're recommended to complete, and I would highly advise that you take the time to do so. It definitely sheds further light on your own thought processes and brings new strands to the surface that you can then bring up with a therapist in-session.

There are also brief chapters into those who are "shame deficient" should that be something of concern, so it is very comprehensive in that regard.

[Heather · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good.

[Niki Maria · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have felt a profound sense of understanding for myself and others in reading this book. I was a little apprehensive about it at first, but I found it to be something of a valuable source of information into understanding shame and how it might impact my own life or the lives of others. I highly recommend this book to any and everyone. I also am reading it again to find new information I missed on my first pass through. The exercises are extremely helpful.

[Catherine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Potter-Efron goes through symptoms of shame and offers exercises on overcoming shame - which he emphatically writes that, "it's a process." I think this is a topic rarely addressed and is the answer to the majority of human maladies. Great book and a must read!

[Stephen Bedard · Rating 5 out of 5]

While this is somewhat dated and there probably is newer research, this is still a very good look at the concept of shame. The material is presented from a number of different angles is shared in an accessible manner.

[Daniel · Rating 3 out of 5]

A good introduction into the impact of shame and where it comes from.

[Christopher Rodgman · Rating 5 out of 5]

A guided workbook by Hazelden to help process shame.

[Carrie Billig]

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[Amjad Ali · Rating 5 out of 5]

I even tried to translate this book into my native Urdu... though work was left unfinished.... I really loved this book. This is one of the book people must read.

[Amber · Rating 5 out of 5]

All in all ,I love this book .Though at times it was painful to read or do what Author suggested in it but the book had mix bundles of joy and sadness in it .Stories jotted in this book were so near to situations we observed in life ,this amazed me on the skill of author and assured of their Practice as genuine counselors.I would love recommending this book for beginners of self awakening journey as it contains such astute observations and bare truths that really shakes oneself .Compassion with Truth ,not only about other folks but specifically about own own habits ,was the most extra ordinary feature of this book .

[Richard · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a very clear and powerful book. It states the truth directly and incisively.