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Baby Hearts: A Guide to Giving Your Child an Emotional Head Start
Who says your baby can’t “talk” about his or her feelings? In fact, babies’ actions often speak louder than words! Understanding those actions–and responding appropriately to them–is the key to giving your child a head start to a healthy and happy future. Now the authors of the bestselling Baby Minds and Baby Signs translate the latest research on the rich inner life of babies into practical, fun activities that will foster your child’s emotional skills during the most critical period–between birth and age three. This comprehensive guide will help you help your child express emotions effectively, develop empathy, form healthy friendships, and cope with specific challenges. Learn how
•Talk with your child about emotions in order to help him recognize and control his own
•Use face-to-face interaction, tone of voice, song, and touch to make your infant feel safe and secure
•Start a gratitude journal to help your child appreciate the good things in life
•Nurture self-esteem with “try, try again” activities and simple chores
•Create a “What are they feeling” deck of cards to help your child understand and practice emotions
•Use games and songs to help your child practice self-control
•Overcome temper tantrums, aggression, shyness, separation anxiety, and other challenges
Whether your child is as easy to raise as a sunflower, as difficult as the prickly holly bush, requires the patience of the delicate orchid, or is as active as the exuberant dandelion, Baby Hearts helps you provide the
emotional support that may be the most important gift a parent can give.
•Talk with your child about emotions in order to help him recognize and control his own
•Use face-to-face interaction, tone of voice, song, and touch to make your infant feel safe and secure
•Start a gratitude journal to help your child appreciate the good things in life
•Nurture self-esteem with “try, try again” activities and simple chores
•Create a “What are they feeling” deck of cards to help your child understand and practice emotions
•Use games and songs to help your child practice self-control
•Overcome temper tantrums, aggression, shyness, separation anxiety, and other challenges
Whether your child is as easy to raise as a sunflower, as difficult as the prickly holly bush, requires the patience of the delicate orchid, or is as active as the exuberant dandelion, Baby Hearts helps you provide the
emotional support that may be the most important gift a parent can give.
336 pages, Paperback
First published June 28, 2005
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Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews
February 5, 2009
If you ever feel competent as the parent of a baby or a toddler, this would be the ideal book to pick up to disabuse you of that notion.
Which is not to say that I hated it. I didn't. (I was irritated by it, but that's not the same thing.) It's research-based, which is rare and wonderful in the dubious arena of parenting advice books. It does contain useful information and suggestions on dealing with emotions, emotional development, and emotional problems in babies.
But. But. Basically, this book seems to have been written by the grandparents from hell - you know, the people who are just far enough removed from parenting that they can believe they know it all, that they did it all right, that they never erred. Oh, sure, they do mention that parents can't be expected to be perfect - in the conclusion. The conclusion is not the place to be introducing vital new information, book authors! That's for, you know, the actual book.
And against that belated admission, we have their insistence that even once failing to respond to your baby's cries within ninety seconds will undermine attachment. That ever failing to respond appropriately to your baby's facial expression will undermine attachment. (Uh, some of us wear glasses and can't always see our child's face to mirror expressions. I suspect our kids will survive this.) And, best of all, their statement that you have to know what your baby needs all the time for attachment to occur. I don't know if other parents have a magical sense that allows them to tell, absolutely without error, why a baby is crying. I don't. And, again, I'm guessing (and hoping) that my kid will manage to attach to me anyway.
But if you can get past the condescending, you-must-be-perfect tone, there's good stuff in this book. (Also about a million advertisements for baby sign. I sign with my baby, and I think it's important, but, seriously, there's only so many times I want to hear about it, people.) I did find it interesting, and I am glad I read it, but I won't be picking any other books by these authors up.
Which is not to say that I hated it. I didn't. (I was irritated by it, but that's not the same thing.) It's research-based, which is rare and wonderful in the dubious arena of parenting advice books. It does contain useful information and suggestions on dealing with emotions, emotional development, and emotional problems in babies.
But. But. Basically, this book seems to have been written by the grandparents from hell - you know, the people who are just far enough removed from parenting that they can believe they know it all, that they did it all right, that they never erred. Oh, sure, they do mention that parents can't be expected to be perfect - in the conclusion. The conclusion is not the place to be introducing vital new information, book authors! That's for, you know, the actual book.
And against that belated admission, we have their insistence that even once failing to respond to your baby's cries within ninety seconds will undermine attachment. That ever failing to respond appropriately to your baby's facial expression will undermine attachment. (Uh, some of us wear glasses and can't always see our child's face to mirror expressions. I suspect our kids will survive this.) And, best of all, their statement that you have to know what your baby needs all the time for attachment to occur. I don't know if other parents have a magical sense that allows them to tell, absolutely without error, why a baby is crying. I don't. And, again, I'm guessing (and hoping) that my kid will manage to attach to me anyway.
But if you can get past the condescending, you-must-be-perfect tone, there's good stuff in this book. (Also about a million advertisements for baby sign. I sign with my baby, and I think it's important, but, seriously, there's only so many times I want to hear about it, people.) I did find it interesting, and I am glad I read it, but I won't be picking any other books by these authors up.
January 12, 2018
DNF
I didn't finish this one, I want to be honest about that up front. Around the middle of the first chapter I found myself mentally snapping at the author because her tone came across as condescending. That isn't normal for me, so I went to the reviews here on Goodreads to see if anyone else had the same impression.
And, honestly, it seems like everyone got that impression. The author just comes off as condescending. That, coupled with the constant push for baby signing, started grating on my nerves before I was even out of the introduction. I'm all for baby signing, we're trying it with our son. But I don't want to hear about it in literally every other paragraph, or have every piece of anecdotal evidence be rooted in the "incredibly advance emotional ages" of the toddlers, as proven by the things they sign with baby sign language.
A few reviews were also very specific in that the author is overly pushy when it comes to the guilt. I am home alone with my infant almost all day, every day. If I didn't put him down or let him fuss now and then, I wouldn't eat or bathe or get any housekeeping done. I already feel like crying when I have to load the dishwasher (or face a lack of bottles, pump stuff, etc) and he's fussing in his play pen. I don't need someone laying the guilt on even thicker. And as a mother suffering depression AND anxiety, the reviews made it very clear that those issues alone failed me as a mother in the author's eyes.
Motherhood is hard. Susan Goodwyn has no right to make it harder.
I didn't finish this one, I want to be honest about that up front. Around the middle of the first chapter I found myself mentally snapping at the author because her tone came across as condescending. That isn't normal for me, so I went to the reviews here on Goodreads to see if anyone else had the same impression.
And, honestly, it seems like everyone got that impression. The author just comes off as condescending. That, coupled with the constant push for baby signing, started grating on my nerves before I was even out of the introduction. I'm all for baby signing, we're trying it with our son. But I don't want to hear about it in literally every other paragraph, or have every piece of anecdotal evidence be rooted in the "incredibly advance emotional ages" of the toddlers, as proven by the things they sign with baby sign language.
A few reviews were also very specific in that the author is overly pushy when it comes to the guilt. I am home alone with my infant almost all day, every day. If I didn't put him down or let him fuss now and then, I wouldn't eat or bathe or get any housekeeping done. I already feel like crying when I have to load the dishwasher (or face a lack of bottles, pump stuff, etc) and he's fussing in his play pen. I don't need someone laying the guilt on even thicker. And as a mother suffering depression AND anxiety, the reviews made it very clear that those issues alone failed me as a mother in the author's eyes.
Motherhood is hard. Susan Goodwyn has no right to make it harder.
July 25, 2011
If I didn't have any religion in me, I may have liked this book. Really, it's right up my alley and something I should have devoured. It had lots of psychology discourse and all the advice was sound. The author talks about the importance of service and kindness. She emphasizes the need for the parent to set an example of good citizenship. Really, I should have liked it.
I didn't. I actually couldn't finish it. Couldn't stomach the guilt. I've read nearly a dozen parenting books, and none have bothered, offended, or guilted me. I have pretty thick skin. But this one didn't sit well. Goodwyn has little sympathy for those who suffer from depression. Seems how she's trying to help you teach your child compassion, I'm surprised by her lack of it. And her psychological background is weak, if she doesn't acknowledge someone who is clinically diagnosed with depression can go years without ever feeling it's harms, she's not well suited to be giving this kind of advice. Even if I chose to overlook her rants on depressed mothers, she made me feel guilty for not responding to every cry within 30 seconds. I'm not an attachment style parent, I suppose those who are may love this book.
As for my opening line, about religion, I just kept thinking (or feeling, rather) "don't read this, don't waste your time with this, teach Reid the Gospel of Jesus Christ and all this will fall in place." In the end that was my big take away. I love reading parenting books that are science based (brain, sleep, development, etc) even though I'm practically science illiterate. I actually love psychology, but when it comes to parenting books about human interactions I think I'll just use the life of Christ as my guide. I'll try to build a home where His Spirit resides and know that, that light will be everything I need to build a strong, loving baby heart.
I didn't. I actually couldn't finish it. Couldn't stomach the guilt. I've read nearly a dozen parenting books, and none have bothered, offended, or guilted me. I have pretty thick skin. But this one didn't sit well. Goodwyn has little sympathy for those who suffer from depression. Seems how she's trying to help you teach your child compassion, I'm surprised by her lack of it. And her psychological background is weak, if she doesn't acknowledge someone who is clinically diagnosed with depression can go years without ever feeling it's harms, she's not well suited to be giving this kind of advice. Even if I chose to overlook her rants on depressed mothers, she made me feel guilty for not responding to every cry within 30 seconds. I'm not an attachment style parent, I suppose those who are may love this book.
As for my opening line, about religion, I just kept thinking (or feeling, rather) "don't read this, don't waste your time with this, teach Reid the Gospel of Jesus Christ and all this will fall in place." In the end that was my big take away. I love reading parenting books that are science based (brain, sleep, development, etc) even though I'm practically science illiterate. I actually love psychology, but when it comes to parenting books about human interactions I think I'll just use the life of Christ as my guide. I'll try to build a home where His Spirit resides and know that, that light will be everything I need to build a strong, loving baby heart.
April 1, 2010
Baby Hearts is designed to (a) help parents more clearly understand their individual child and then (b) guide parents through the many challenges of fostering that particular child's emotional well-being. The book first identifies and categorizes 4 different types of children, based upon temperament. It then goes on to discuss different challenges that parents can encounter at different stages of their child's development. It gives advice on how to respond appropriately to your little one through sound, science-based research. I particularly enjoyed the chapter on Tempers & Tantrums, (since the little man is rapidly approaching that phase).
Complaints? Two. First, why do authors of parenting books make you feel like if you don't follow their advice exactly, your child will most likely end up as an unhappy delinquent who lights cats on fire and is mean to old ladies? Baby Hearts has some of that going on, and that’s annoying. And second, I felt that the authors sometimes spent more time discussing the things that might go wrong and why than they did about possible solutions, which was frustrating. The book could have probably been condensed a bit.
I've tried swearing off parenting books. Sometimes they stress me out more than they put my mind at ease. But for some reason, I keep coming back for more. I think it's the promise of good guidance mixed with some helpful tips. And Baby Hearts has those elements for sure. But all in all, I think the pro's outweigh the con's. They offer valuable insights into child development and easily applicable advice. I'd recommend picking it up.
Complaints? Two. First, why do authors of parenting books make you feel like if you don't follow their advice exactly, your child will most likely end up as an unhappy delinquent who lights cats on fire and is mean to old ladies? Baby Hearts has some of that going on, and that’s annoying. And second, I felt that the authors sometimes spent more time discussing the things that might go wrong and why than they did about possible solutions, which was frustrating. The book could have probably been condensed a bit.
I've tried swearing off parenting books. Sometimes they stress me out more than they put my mind at ease. But for some reason, I keep coming back for more. I think it's the promise of good guidance mixed with some helpful tips. And Baby Hearts has those elements for sure. But all in all, I think the pro's outweigh the con's. They offer valuable insights into child development and easily applicable advice. I'd recommend picking it up.
September 10, 2020
A must read. This is the type of "instruction manual" that parents need when getting read to take their baby home, and to re-read when they feel like pulling their hair out.
Main reasons I liked this so much: 1) It is evidence-based, and not just the research of the authors. Some evidence-based books are really primarily focused on the authors' own work, but this pulls from diverse sources and is well-referenced. 2) It's all about raising emotionally intelligent people. Most people now know that this is a critical element to success of any kind. This education is really best done by the parents, not something schools can do that well, so very important for the parent to have a sense of what they're doing. 3) There are actionable tips that are age-specific and feel right.
After writing the above I read some other reviews... I agree, too many references to Baby Signs. And, I agree it is written by the grandparents from hell with the admission that parents don't have to be perfect tucked in the last chapter. Honestly, sometimes you have to prioritize the parent's needs. Crazy parent is no good for a child's emotional development. :) I did think that having them lay out an ideal to strive for is valuable info though!
Main reasons I liked this so much: 1) It is evidence-based, and not just the research of the authors. Some evidence-based books are really primarily focused on the authors' own work, but this pulls from diverse sources and is well-referenced. 2) It's all about raising emotionally intelligent people. Most people now know that this is a critical element to success of any kind. This education is really best done by the parents, not something schools can do that well, so very important for the parent to have a sense of what they're doing. 3) There are actionable tips that are age-specific and feel right.
After writing the above I read some other reviews... I agree, too many references to Baby Signs. And, I agree it is written by the grandparents from hell with the admission that parents don't have to be perfect tucked in the last chapter. Honestly, sometimes you have to prioritize the parent's needs. Crazy parent is no good for a child's emotional development. :) I did think that having them lay out an ideal to strive for is valuable info though!
September 12, 2011
If you find advice such as "don't hit your baby when they hit someone else" or "make sure your baby knows you love her" useful, then this is the book for you! Even has pictures of sad/happy/surprised babies with descriptions in case you don't know what a frown means!
I found it extremely condescending and it read like a long-winded advertisement for Baby Signs.
I found it extremely condescending and it read like a long-winded advertisement for Baby Signs.
March 9, 2013
This book had some interesting information but it was very repetitive which made it boring. In addition, the author was selling her "Baby Signs" book constantly. I don't mind an author mentioning another book they have written but the number one suggestion in this "Guide" was to get the other book and teach your child signs.
May 8, 2013
An excellent guide to understanding what your baby is going through. Emotions are weird.
February 17, 2010
An outstanding guide for fostering emotional intelligence in your 0-3 year old.
I Loved it!!!
I Loved it!!!
January 16, 2012
Eh...some good stuff in here but kind of annoying to read.
May 23, 2012
I am trying to decide why I got stuck on this book. Maybe too much info and too many referrals to research.
December 14, 2014
Great reference that I have gone back to multiple times as we navigate the toddler waters!
August 31, 2016
This has a lot of good parenting advice wrapped up in child development research results. Good introduction to a lot of these ideas about temperament and learning to control emotions
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews