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Learning to Cry
The bond between a father and daughter is strong enough to weather the most violent storms, but it can also bring savage heartache. From the moment Melissa enters this world in a flurry of chaos and happiness, she holds and manipulates her father's love. There is no way to predict the roller-coaster ride they face. Almost overnight, Melissa's father loses his sweet, little girl. Left in her place is an erratic, unstable, deeply unhappy teenager who is hell-bent on obliterating boundaries and pushing her father, as well as her mother and sisters, to the breaking point. Caught in the middle of her parents' divorce, she doesn't hide her disdain for the rules. But she goes to great lengths to keep her father ignorant of just how far into trouble she falls or how she's trapped by three "friends" from whom there is no escape. Overwhelmed by the stress his crumbling marriage causes, Melissa's father struggles to keep his own life together while trying to save his daughter from the point of no return. He finds himself, alone, bound by his own four walls, drowning in loneliness and tears. Melissa's father, it seems, will have to lose it all to bring her back from the brink.
- GenresFiction
274 pages, ebook
First published July 16, 2010
2 people are currently reading
184 people want to read
About the author
Christopher C. Payne
6 books219 followersChristopher C. Payne was born in January 1967 and grew up in DeSoto, IL. He received his bachelor’s degree in finance from Southern Illinois University at Carbondale, graduating in 1990. Currently, he lives in San Francisco, CA. In his spare time, he enjoys biking and snowboarding with his two daughters and an amazing wife.
Chris dabbled with writing in his spare time before deciding he would be better served focusing on the publishing side of the literary industry. He founded JournalStone in April of 2009. JournalStone began as a blog before transitioning to a publishing company in the fall of 2010.
Journalstone shot out of the gate by immediately launching a short story contest, then a full blown novel writing contest and quickly began to sign authors. Getting some help from a few HWA members Chris established some author friendly procedures and was well on his way to publishing books. That Which Should Not Be, the winner of the inaugural writing contest in 2011, received a warm welcome on its publication date and was subsequently honored by being nominated for a HWA 2011 Bram Stoker Award for Superior Achievement in a First Novel. Ghosts of Coronado Bay, another 2011 JournalStone offering was also nominated for a HWA 2011 Bram Stoker Award for Superior Achievement in a Young Adult novel.
With two books nominated for awards in JournalStone’s first 12 months of operation, Chris is still not willing to slow down. 2012 has already seen JournalStone on the front cover of Publishers Weekly magazine in an April issue; with three of its authors highlighted on the inside cover. Additionally, Joseph Nassise (international bestselling author), Jonathan Maberry (New York Times bestselling author), and Benjamin Kane Ethridge (2010 Bram Stoker Award winner), have been added as JournalStone signed authors, complimenting Brett J. Talley and Anne C. Petty on a shared world anthology titled Limbus, to be released in the fall of 2012.
Look for more announcements from JournalStone as they continue to flourish, establishing their place as one of the premier genre publishing companies in today’s rapidly fluctuating market.
Chris dabbled with writing in his spare time before deciding he would be better served focusing on the publishing side of the literary industry. He founded JournalStone in April of 2009. JournalStone began as a blog before transitioning to a publishing company in the fall of 2010.
Journalstone shot out of the gate by immediately launching a short story contest, then a full blown novel writing contest and quickly began to sign authors. Getting some help from a few HWA members Chris established some author friendly procedures and was well on his way to publishing books. That Which Should Not Be, the winner of the inaugural writing contest in 2011, received a warm welcome on its publication date and was subsequently honored by being nominated for a HWA 2011 Bram Stoker Award for Superior Achievement in a First Novel. Ghosts of Coronado Bay, another 2011 JournalStone offering was also nominated for a HWA 2011 Bram Stoker Award for Superior Achievement in a Young Adult novel.
With two books nominated for awards in JournalStone’s first 12 months of operation, Chris is still not willing to slow down. 2012 has already seen JournalStone on the front cover of Publishers Weekly magazine in an April issue; with three of its authors highlighted on the inside cover. Additionally, Joseph Nassise (international bestselling author), Jonathan Maberry (New York Times bestselling author), and Benjamin Kane Ethridge (2010 Bram Stoker Award winner), have been added as JournalStone signed authors, complimenting Brett J. Talley and Anne C. Petty on a shared world anthology titled Limbus, to be released in the fall of 2012.
Look for more announcements from JournalStone as they continue to flourish, establishing their place as one of the premier genre publishing companies in today’s rapidly fluctuating market.
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Displaying 1 - 21 of 21 reviews
July 9, 2010
In his second novel Learning To Cry, Christopher C. Payne has written a heart-wrenching novel about a father learning to cope with his daughter's mental illness. His real achievement is in placing into literary print the heartbreak and emotions that many families suffer during this difficult experience. The narrator is the father and he tells his story with blunt self-examination, not being afraid to bare his strengths and weaknesses. Occasionally the story switches to third person focusing on the daughter's side as she struggles with her problems and descends into psychotic illness. The author spares no punches yet writes in a way that causes you to care about both father and daughter equally. My only criticism is with the book's ending which resolves a little too easily for me. But this is a minor complaint as most of the tale submerges the reader in the emotions and trials of this family. In my occupation as a clinical therapist and social worker I keep a number of books on loan to clients to help them deal with various types of problems. I would unhesitatingly recommend this novel to parents coping with their mentally disturbed children as it would help them realize that they are not alone and their struggles are not unique.
July 30, 2010
The bond between a father and daughter is strong enough to weather the most violent storms, but it can also bring savage heartache. From the moment Melissa enters this world in a flurry of chaos and happiness, she holds and manipulates her father’s love. There is no way to predict the roller-coaster ride they face.
Almost overnight, Melissa’s father loses his sweet, little girl. Left in her place is an erratic, unstable, deeply unhappy teenager who is hell-bent on obliterating boundaries and pushing her father, as well as her mother and sisters, to the breaking point. Caught in the middle of her parents’ divorce, she doesn’t hide her disdain for the rules. But she goes to great lengths to keep her father ignorant of just how far into trouble she falls or how she’s trapped by three “friends” from whom there is no escape.
Overwhelmed by the stress his crumbling marriage causes, Melissa’s father struggles to keep his own life together while trying to save his daughter from the point of no return. He finds himself, alone, bound by his own four walls, drowning in loneliness and tears. Melissa’s father, it seems, will have to lose it all to bring her back from the brink.
Almost overnight, Melissa’s father loses his sweet, little girl. Left in her place is an erratic, unstable, deeply unhappy teenager who is hell-bent on obliterating boundaries and pushing her father, as well as her mother and sisters, to the breaking point. Caught in the middle of her parents’ divorce, she doesn’t hide her disdain for the rules. But she goes to great lengths to keep her father ignorant of just how far into trouble she falls or how she’s trapped by three “friends” from whom there is no escape.
Overwhelmed by the stress his crumbling marriage causes, Melissa’s father struggles to keep his own life together while trying to save his daughter from the point of no return. He finds himself, alone, bound by his own four walls, drowning in loneliness and tears. Melissa’s father, it seems, will have to lose it all to bring her back from the brink.
July 28, 2010
The concept of the book was interesting to me, as it is told by a father about his relationship with his daughter, and I am a daughter who had a close relationship with my father.
Payne doesn't do the best of jobs at conveying the experience of his daughter, to me it seemed a little too speculative for the format, but that in and of itself kind of added to the book's appeal. I read it as a story from the father's point of view and the father's point of view in a struggle to understand his daughter's. The book's weaknesses are accents to it's strengths in that way.
Payne doesn't do the best of jobs at conveying the experience of his daughter, to me it seemed a little too speculative for the format, but that in and of itself kind of added to the book's appeal. I read it as a story from the father's point of view and the father's point of view in a struggle to understand his daughter's. The book's weaknesses are accents to it's strengths in that way.
November 24, 2010
Thanks Chris! This was a goodreads win.
I really enjoyed the book. For me, it was definately a page turner. I love the way Chris has a way of adding humor to an intense situation. I was really blown away by the ending. Although, I do "get it". The book was really about a man's relationships and how he is learning to just show his emotions, hence "Learning to Cry" through his rough relationship with his daughter. Also, it shows that in the end, one of the things he was so worried about with his daughter becomes his own nightmare.
It was a good read and I would recommend it!!
I really enjoyed the book. For me, it was definately a page turner. I love the way Chris has a way of adding humor to an intense situation. I was really blown away by the ending. Although, I do "get it". The book was really about a man's relationships and how he is learning to just show his emotions, hence "Learning to Cry" through his rough relationship with his daughter. Also, it shows that in the end, one of the things he was so worried about with his daughter becomes his own nightmare.
It was a good read and I would recommend it!!
December 1, 2010
I disliked this book. It reads like some guy's self-published diary, and not a very well written one, at that. It is overly emotional, and lacks descriptive detail. I wavered between giving it one star or two...
December 1, 2010
Melissa’s parents had divorced and she played back and forth between the two, going from one parents home to the other when the rules of one didn’t suit her. Melissa completely despised rules as most teenagers do. Living with her mother, Cheryl, she vowed never to see her Dad again. Her mother hated him so why shouldn’t she?
One evening Melissa snuck her friend Curtis in through her bedroom window. Once she had done that, she looked at the window as a door. If someone can come in, then she can also go out. After smoking some pot together and having sex with Curtis, he threw the used condom on the window sill and they settled in to watch some television. Suddenly someone was screaming and it was Cheryl, Melissa’s mother who immediately saw the condom on the window sill. She bagged it up as if she were a forensic specialist and dragged Curtis downstairs.
Cheryl spoke with Duncan and they decided together to call the police and have Curtis charged with statutory rape because Melissa was a minor. Melissa was completely enraged with her mother and asked to move back in with her father. Duncan, through his many tears and his strong love for Melissa consented to her move.
From here the story goes from bad to worse and Duncan spends more and more time crying and feeling lonely not knowing what to do with his wild and out of control daughter. He worried that he may have to admit that she was bad and wondered if Melissa was the child that all other parents warned their kids to stay away from. Then again, how can Duncan possibly be a good example for his daughter when he himself smoked the odd joint and openly drank?
How would Melissa feel if she ever found out about her father? In my opinion, probably angry, betrayed and lied too. Duncan is walking a thin line here. But little does Duncan or Cheryl for that matter know that soon their daughter would end up in a locked psychiatric facility, asking them to “make the voices stop!”
Duncan continues to struggle with how to tame his wild daughter, he is lost in his own loneliness and tears but Duncan may have to lose everything to get his daughter back.
As a parent myself of two teenage sons, I understand the pain Duncan endures over his beloved daughter, Melissa. It is only with a strong bond and unconditional love that we get through those horrible patches with our teenagers. This is a book that I think every parent with pre-teens or teens should read. None of us are ever prepared for what comes from these once cute, everybody loved little person to the enraged, confused, out of control people they become.
This was an excellent novel and very well written. I look forward to many more novels from Mr. Payne!
One evening Melissa snuck her friend Curtis in through her bedroom window. Once she had done that, she looked at the window as a door. If someone can come in, then she can also go out. After smoking some pot together and having sex with Curtis, he threw the used condom on the window sill and they settled in to watch some television. Suddenly someone was screaming and it was Cheryl, Melissa’s mother who immediately saw the condom on the window sill. She bagged it up as if she were a forensic specialist and dragged Curtis downstairs.
Cheryl spoke with Duncan and they decided together to call the police and have Curtis charged with statutory rape because Melissa was a minor. Melissa was completely enraged with her mother and asked to move back in with her father. Duncan, through his many tears and his strong love for Melissa consented to her move.
From here the story goes from bad to worse and Duncan spends more and more time crying and feeling lonely not knowing what to do with his wild and out of control daughter. He worried that he may have to admit that she was bad and wondered if Melissa was the child that all other parents warned their kids to stay away from. Then again, how can Duncan possibly be a good example for his daughter when he himself smoked the odd joint and openly drank?
How would Melissa feel if she ever found out about her father? In my opinion, probably angry, betrayed and lied too. Duncan is walking a thin line here. But little does Duncan or Cheryl for that matter know that soon their daughter would end up in a locked psychiatric facility, asking them to “make the voices stop!”
Duncan continues to struggle with how to tame his wild daughter, he is lost in his own loneliness and tears but Duncan may have to lose everything to get his daughter back.
As a parent myself of two teenage sons, I understand the pain Duncan endures over his beloved daughter, Melissa. It is only with a strong bond and unconditional love that we get through those horrible patches with our teenagers. This is a book that I think every parent with pre-teens or teens should read. None of us are ever prepared for what comes from these once cute, everybody loved little person to the enraged, confused, out of control people they become.
This was an excellent novel and very well written. I look forward to many more novels from Mr. Payne!
August 22, 2010
Many times in life we forget choices and paths we choose to follow have a powerful impact and consequences on ourselves and those around us. Learning to Cry was a book that demonstrated the impact these choices and paths can have on us all. I would recommend this book to anyone who likes a good story based on family dynamics, depression and the choices we make.
August 5, 2010
I was so disgusted, I couldn't even finish it. All that drinking and puking.
I wasn't a perfect teenager, by any means, growing up in the 60's and all.
I hope she straightened up. I couldn't get through it to find out.
I wasn't a perfect teenager, by any means, growing up in the 60's and all.
I hope she straightened up. I couldn't get through it to find out.
August 29, 2010
I was terribly disappointed in this book. It was depressing from beginning to end leaving little for the reader to gain from reading. It
Want to read
October 30, 2010after weeks of bothering people I finally got this into the store, now I will buy it and bother them to order more copies. I want three, a table sized pile.
November 26, 2010
This is my fourth first-reads win. I didn't know what to expect from the reviews that I read before-hand, and almost removed my entry. I didn't, and I'm glad I got a chance to read the book as the story-line definitely pulled me in. I wasn't expecting the schizophrenia aspect at all, and found that to be an interesting twist to the plot. My disappointment, however, came at the end. The ending tragedy simply didn't fit with the rest of the novel. It was like the story suddenly changed directions in the last 20 pages and I was reading the ending to an entirely different book. Surely there were a couple of chapters missing from my copy? Where was the chapter revealing Melissa's thoughts in the aftermath of the accident? Why were we not introduced to the neighbors and their children earlier and in more detail?
The author's odd ending felt rushed and poorly thought out. While interesting enough, the car crash tied in poorly with the earlier chapters. In my opinion, as a healthcare provider, it is completely unrealistic to believe that "voices" would simply go away, and a troubled teen's issues would completely resolve after such a horrible tragedy. Simply listing the key characters and what happened to them, was too blunt and unimaginative. With perhaps a better tie-in to the father's alcohol problems; closure regarding Melissa's mental health and recovery; and a little fleshing out of the ending this could have easily been a 4-5 star read. As it stands, there is too much missing for my taste. I am interested, however, in other work by this author, and would read Payne again.
The author's odd ending felt rushed and poorly thought out. While interesting enough, the car crash tied in poorly with the earlier chapters. In my opinion, as a healthcare provider, it is completely unrealistic to believe that "voices" would simply go away, and a troubled teen's issues would completely resolve after such a horrible tragedy. Simply listing the key characters and what happened to them, was too blunt and unimaginative. With perhaps a better tie-in to the father's alcohol problems; closure regarding Melissa's mental health and recovery; and a little fleshing out of the ending this could have easily been a 4-5 star read. As it stands, there is too much missing for my taste. I am interested, however, in other work by this author, and would read Payne again.
December 7, 2010
I received this book as a first reads winner. Learning to Cry has a very good core story. The book details the heartaches associated with a family that is torn apart by divorce, drugs, alcohol and mental illness. The relationship between the father and his oldest daughter is the focus of the story as they each deal with their changing relationships brought about by their own individual struggles. The story was primarily told from the point of view of the father and the oldest daughter, but their was also an omniscient view that was intermixed with these two views. Sometimes it was not always clear as to which view was being presented, the omniscient view or that of the father or daughter. The story also had a major event occur just before the ending that I believe would have had a much bigger impact if it had occurred in the middle of the story. The second part of the story could then have focused on the results of the event and contrasted it with the beginning of the story. Instead the story is quickly wrapped up and an epilogue reveals/predicts the status of the characters several years in the future. As I reflected on the story after finishing the book, my underlying thought was how did the characters get to where they ended up several years later. I believe that there is a great story hidden between the end of the book and the epilogue that needs to be told, and this story would have enhanced the telling of the story that is portrayed in the book.
December 8, 2010
Learning to Cry is a sad book that is often difficult to read. Anyone who has had a r is more involved with his daughter than her mother is. It is difficult to see the daughter, Melissa spiral into defiance, anger, drug and alcohol abuse, promiscuity and eventually mental illness. The father is obviously heartbroken and emotionally drained. He is at odds as to how to improve the situation. He has a tremendous amount of anger towards his ex-wife and expresses this anger often. He has his own difficulty with alcohol and in general appears pretty overwhelmed by the turn his life has taken. I don’t know how I thought the book would end but I was totally unprepared for the end. I think the book is worth a read.
It does read more like a diary or journal than a novel, so the editing is not as tight as other books I have read.
July 24, 2013
Learning To Cry by Christopher C. Payne is a gut wrenching story about a man's struggle to keep his family together. Particularly his relationship with his eldest daughter Melissa. Almost overnight, Melissa goes from a sweet happy child to a lying moody child. When her parents get a divorce, her behavior gets much worse. She begins to experiment with drugs and alcohol. Melissa also hears voices in her head. Her father tries very hard to help his daughter, but things go from bad to worse.
This book is told from two points of view, the Father's and the daughter Melissa. This book truly had some sad and heart wrenching moments. The book had some thought provoking points that makes you think about what a family truly is. I did think that the book jumped around a lot and at some points went off track. I did feel that the ending was a little to abrupt.
This book is told from two points of view, the Father's and the daughter Melissa. This book truly had some sad and heart wrenching moments. The book had some thought provoking points that makes you think about what a family truly is. I did think that the book jumped around a lot and at some points went off track. I did feel that the ending was a little to abrupt.
October 17, 2010
This book was good, heart-wrenching and full of emotion...but i feel like it kind of jumped around a bit. The whole book you're thinking that the story is about melissa and then at the last second it turns into a lesson on drunk driving and the consequences. Now i love the fact that it highlighted how dangerous it is but it's like it the spotlight moved to the father at the last minute and it seems like then that should have been the case for the whole book. I don't know, just what i felt...good read though.
December 14, 2010
I wasn't expecting the way it ended, that's for sure.
I am a stickler for details so I have to say that the spelling/grammatical errors didn't help. One detail that I have to point out is a reference to Prince about when he changes his name to a symbol. The author states that he changed his name to "the artist formally known as Prince". The correct word is "formerly". I don't know why this bothered me so much but it really did. It was in there twice, so I don't think it was just a spelling error. Other than that, the story was OK and did have some hard life lessons to be learned.
I am a stickler for details so I have to say that the spelling/grammatical errors didn't help. One detail that I have to point out is a reference to Prince about when he changes his name to a symbol. The author states that he changed his name to "the artist formally known as Prince". The correct word is "formerly". I don't know why this bothered me so much but it really did. It was in there twice, so I don't think it was just a spelling error. Other than that, the story was OK and did have some hard life lessons to be learned.
June 15, 2011
This is a story told from two different points of view about the life of a troubled teen both the father and the teen girl herself. Melissa is the oldest of three girls who is living a seemingly perfect life until her parents get divorced and she goes back and forth between the two of them. She starts getting into trouble, drinking, doing drugs and even sleeping around. She hears three voices in her head pushing her to do those things. We hear both Melissa’s point of view of events and her own father’s point of view of events. The ending is an unexpected ending to a story like this one.
February 25, 2016
This book made me uncomfortable to read. Between the language and content, there wasn't much I enjoyed. I don't know how true-to-life this story is, because I can't imagine teenagers being that involved in drugs and alcohol. Maybe I was just a really good kid, but it felt unrealistic. I finished the book, but I didn't love it, and probably wouldn't recommend it to any of my friends.
December 9, 2010
This book definitely touched me in ways I didn't think it would. Some parts plodded along pretty slow, so it was tough to finish, but I would still recommend this book to others - the story really is a good one, and achingly told.
January 3, 2011
I had won this book from a giveaway. This is a good book. The chapters are somewhat long. The thing is I just couldn't get myself to sit down and read it most of the time.
Want to read
November 14, 2010this was a recent goodreads win! i'm definitely looking forward to reading this! thank you Goodreads!
Displaying 1 - 21 of 21 reviews