In one sense, alcoholics and drug addicts are the fortunate ones. They have to learn a new way to live or risk death, incarceration, and loss of everything they hold dear. But what about the other members of their family? Because so many of them believe that the addict is the problem, they do nothing about their own habits of mind and heart-and continue to live in resentment, anger, and fear, feeding their own stress level and shortening their lives in a way that's very different from the addict-yet, on another level, remarkably similar.
“Rewriting Life Transformational Recovery for Families of Addicts” contains information, explanation, and processes for change. Following the steps outlined in this book brings peace of mind, forgiveness, reconciliation, and the ability-truly-to live happily ever after.
Acclaim for “Rewriting Life Scripts”
"Rewriting Life Scripts” is a must read for everybody in a family that lives with addiction. A lot has been written about and for people who are addicted. But this book is for the family. And it's good. Their advice is very straightforward and practical and their description of the family disease is a very real picture of the kind of reactions family members develop when they live with someone who is addicted." --Tony Mandarich, former NFL player, author of “My Dirty Little Steroids, Alcohol, and God”
"Rewriting Life Scripts” is an invaluable roadmap for anyone navigating the difficult journey through the family disease of alcoholism, with stories of success from real people who have 'been there, done that' and are willing to share their experience, strength and hope. Addiction doesn't discriminate and neither should recovery -- recovery for the family too." --William C. Moyers, author of “ My Story of Addiction and Redemption”
Learn more about this book at www.RewritingLifeScripts.com
When I first received this book to review I must admit the first thing that sprung to mind when I read the word addiction was drink and drugs, thanks to this book and Irene Watson's other book, The Sitting Swing, they have opened my eyes to what an addiction really is. I now realise that an addiction can be anything behavioural, such as co-dependency, workaholism, sexual, to my initial thoughts of drink and drugs, it is what we do to hide from the pain that we do not want to deal with.
What everyone tends to forget about when the addicts starts receiving help, is that behind the addict and their problems there is a family who also needs help. The addict, once they admit they need help, can receive various treatments to try and overcome their problem, but what happens to the family at this time and more importantly how do the family react and deal with the addict. The family need help, not only on how to deal with this major issue in their lives but how to understand how the addiction could have started in the first place and how to help the addict on the recovery process, all of which cannot really be done until they have first cleared themselves of problems. This book is here for them, written from years of research and clinical practice, and should be given to every addicts family as part of the whole recovery process. If an addicts family are unable deal with the issues, due to lack of knowledge, this could be the difference of of recovery and loosing their will to help themselves.
I have learnt so much from this book, I cannot put into words just how important I feel this is to read. In life we tend to hang on to our old survival techniques to get us through the difficult patches, hiding from the problem or pain, thinking that this will make everything alright or that the problem will go away. Unfortunately the way we do this hasn't helped with any problems in the past so why should it now. We need to find the courage to face a problem, instead of going into denial, and realise that there are things in life that we cannot change or control, what will be will be, we need to let go of the problem and surrender ourselves to these old patterns and to channel that energy into improving our life instead, making us stronger.
The book is a fantastic resource of help to all family members. It gives the reader a greater understanding of addictions and recovery, with great insight into the inner lives of addicts, how addictions affect family dynamics that can be carried into adult life. It is full of stories to bring the reader closer to understanding the topic, success stories, questions and answers and even has some quote here and there.
The book is all about our current beliefs and acceptances as we were taught as we grew up and how we can rewrite these. Our lesson in life should be to trust and enjoy every moment in life, believe in yourself and realise that nothing is perfect, we cannot control everything, To Love Life Again !!
For me the chapter on 'Making changes in your life first' was the most important, especially the Fear part, in fact I read and re-read this as it was quite an eye opener for me and I wanted to fully understand. One line in the book stood out for me and made so much sense - 'Love is the energy that heals feelings and the power that restores us to sanity'. Extremely Highly Recommended.
Rewriting Life Scripts Transformational Recovery for Families of Addicts Authors: Liliane Desjardins, Nancy Oelklaus, Irene Watson Publisher: Life Scripts Press ISBN: 978-1-932690-97-2
When a family member has an addiction (to alcohol, drugs, etc.) the other members of the family by necessity are forced to change their behaviors, their lifestyle and their expectations. In many cases, these changes have occurred slowly and over a period of years or even decades. When the addicted family member make the monumental move towards recovery, the family often finds itself thrown into a new kind of chaos without expecting or understanding it.
This book is based mainly on using the 12 step addiction recovery process, but everything discussed can be utilized regardless of the method of recovery used. The book is divided into several parts, each dealing with a different stage of recovery. Families will find this helpful, enabling them to study and work through each recovery phrase as it's being experienced by the recovering family member. By completing all parts, the reader will reach a clear understanding of just what changes and adjustments they have had to make in the past and how the family dynamics will now be changing for the better. Topics are covered in a clear and easy to understand manner, explaining all the stages of change, defining the various roles played by family members in both the dysfunctional (addiction) phase and the truly transforming and freeing journey the family members all take as they work together to rewrite and change the family dynamics.
The three authors bring a wide range of life experiences, education and career training to this work. This gives the book a deeper, broader application that will apply to an untold number of families. I highly recommend this book to anyone who works with addiction and recovery, and to anyone and everyone who is part of a family at any point on the addiction spectrum. Excellent resource and promising tool for a happier family.