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The Manual
This is an unexpurgated reissue of the rare and long out-of print 'how to' book by Jimmy Cauty and Bill Drummond, aka The KLF, their 'Zenarchistic' step-by-step guide to having a number one single in the official UK charts. First published in 1988, this edition includes a new introduction by Jon Savage and an afterword by Bill Drummond, and explains all the steps needed to guarantee success, as pioneered by The Timelords (another alias) with 'Jamming the Tardis'. The Manual is an unparalleled expose of the reality behind the pop-music business and while names may have changed since its first issue, the mechanics of financing, producing and promoting a hit set out here remain absolutely relevant. .
157 pages, Paperback
First published December 31, 1988
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Displaying 1 - 29 of 49 reviews
June 6, 2017
Dated specifics of giros/24-track tapes/phone bills etc. aside (and Drummond & Cauty are well aware of the transience of the moment they're in, correctly predicting that the majority of this process would be do-able in your bedroom within a few years) this is a speedy and entertaining lesson in how to trick yourself into doing something creative by setting up some structure and commitments. Now to hire a kiln!
December 13, 2017
A long time ago, I heard a rumor that this manual existed, that Chumbawumba had obtained a rare copy and followed it to the letter, and that the result had been that fucking "Tubthumping" song.
Years later, I read a story about the KLF dumping a sheep carcass outside a record industry awards afterparty and then setting a literal £1,000,000 on literal fire, and it included a link to an old OCRed scan of this book, which I read half of immediately and eventually got around to finishing after a Goodreads update from Suzie reminded me of it.
I can't speak to the efficacy or feasibility of the method described here, but it was definitely an entertaining ride and a real intriguing time capsule of the British record biz in 1988. Short, fast, and weird.
Years later, I read a story about the KLF dumping a sheep carcass outside a record industry awards afterparty and then setting a literal £1,000,000 on literal fire, and it included a link to an old OCRed scan of this book, which I read half of immediately and eventually got around to finishing after a Goodreads update from Suzie reminded me of it.
I can't speak to the efficacy or feasibility of the method described here, but it was definitely an entertaining ride and a real intriguing time capsule of the British record biz in 1988. Short, fast, and weird.
January 18, 2023
Surprisingly utilitarian look at the music industry c.1988! Like, as much as Drummond and Cauty are taking the piss sometimes there's a lot of serious, good info and trenchant insight. Funny how little certain things have changed. The charts don't really work anymore but that's not the manual's fault
June 30, 2016
This enjoyably written manual gives a realistic exposure of how the pop music business goes, and what makes a No. 1 Pop Hit, in the most real sense, aside of all ambitious artistry and pop/rock star myths that have wasted the time of millions of artists and dreamers, trying to find their way into the music industry the way media stereotypes and mystifies.
The fact the the manual was reflecting on the music industry in the late eighties does not make it inapplicable by today's standards, as much of what is reflected on the manual is still going on - especially the parts regarding listener's musical taste, and what makes a 3 and half single a big success.
The manual is written in a way that is so fresh and casual - with a touch of in-your-face comic sarcasm - that will addict you to finish the manual right on continuously. I doubt it takes more than 2-3 days in your hands - if not for a handful of continuous hours.
I highly recommend this manual to those having in mind a career in the musical industry or seeking for a better understanding of Pop, in order not to be surprised with the disappointments when facing the sad-but-true facts of this complicated business.
And finally, give a listen to the author's works and history (The KLF, also known as The Justified Ancients of Mu Mu, The JAMs, and The Timelords). They were geniuses of their times, and they are worth their highly devoted cult following of their owns. Even if it's not for their adopted philosophy and understanding towards the pop music industry and controversial legacy, then at least for their records, which held some of the best production qualities and creative techniques ever heard on records!!!
The fact the the manual was reflecting on the music industry in the late eighties does not make it inapplicable by today's standards, as much of what is reflected on the manual is still going on - especially the parts regarding listener's musical taste, and what makes a 3 and half single a big success.
The manual is written in a way that is so fresh and casual - with a touch of in-your-face comic sarcasm - that will addict you to finish the manual right on continuously. I doubt it takes more than 2-3 days in your hands - if not for a handful of continuous hours.
I highly recommend this manual to those having in mind a career in the musical industry or seeking for a better understanding of Pop, in order not to be surprised with the disappointments when facing the sad-but-true facts of this complicated business.
And finally, give a listen to the author's works and history (The KLF, also known as The Justified Ancients of Mu Mu, The JAMs, and The Timelords). They were geniuses of their times, and they are worth their highly devoted cult following of their owns. Even if it's not for their adopted philosophy and understanding towards the pop music industry and controversial legacy, then at least for their records, which held some of the best production qualities and creative techniques ever heard on records!!!
September 28, 2012
A great analysis and insight into the music industry. Cauty and Drummond's writing style is humorous and peppered with just the right level of cynicism and the description of how their No. 1 "Doctorin' The Tardis" as The Timelords was created in the studio (i.e. with very little involvement by either of them) elevated this book far above conventional 'how to make it in the music industry'-type writing.
April 18, 2023
A bit late to the party on the book but having worked in the industry is brought out some hardcore belly laughs.
The technology may have changed but the BS war between art and commerce, remains the same.
The technology may have changed but the BS war between art and commerce, remains the same.
February 6, 2022
One of the most useful and hilarious things I’ve ever read about pop music. I was immediately inspired. It’s out of print and goes for a lot of money. It was lent to me. I’m not giving it back.
January 8, 2023
One of the best books about music, the music industry, art, and creativity that you might ever hope to read.
October 18, 2022
OK, before we go any further here I believe it's worth it to note a few important things:
1. Many of the specific steps and reference points here will not work out because we have moved far beyond the music technology of the late-80s/early-90s. At this point this book may serve more as a historical document of the music industry at that time rather than an exact how-to guide. That being said, the tips in how to exploit these ridiculous and exploitative systems for your own benefit can still have utility in today's world. That's probably not a good thing for us as a species.
2. The Number One they refer to is NOT the Billboard Hot 100, the main singles chart in the USA, but rather the UK. The KLF never had a Billboard Number 1 hit in America.
3. This did work, but please take this in the spirit of trolls telling you the way they trolled.
Cool? OK, good.
This book is a good time. The KLF were a group with a very real sense of humor about them, and since the music industry is the butt of the joke way more than anyone who enjoys music it feels even better. Your mileage will vary on the Discordianist philosophy within.
1. Many of the specific steps and reference points here will not work out because we have moved far beyond the music technology of the late-80s/early-90s. At this point this book may serve more as a historical document of the music industry at that time rather than an exact how-to guide. That being said, the tips in how to exploit these ridiculous and exploitative systems for your own benefit can still have utility in today's world. That's probably not a good thing for us as a species.
2. The Number One they refer to is NOT the Billboard Hot 100, the main singles chart in the USA, but rather the UK. The KLF never had a Billboard Number 1 hit in America.
3. This did work, but please take this in the spirit of trolls telling you the way they trolled.
Cool? OK, good.
This book is a good time. The KLF were a group with a very real sense of humor about them, and since the music industry is the butt of the joke way more than anyone who enjoys music it feels even better. Your mileage will vary on the Discordianist philosophy within.
January 20, 2020
This was ace, I'd heard of this book but it never occurred to me to seek it out until it came up in a twitter thread I read recently (about Chumbawumba's 'Tubthumping', of course). Anyway, it turns out it's totally out of print and very hard to find, but the whole thing is available online for the curious.
It was very breezily written, and basically just lays out step by step exactly what you'd need to do to have a UK number 1 hit song in 1988. It provides some timeless advice and some advice that is clearly a relic of a bygone era. I've always enjoyed the KLF on a conceptual level, as well as some of their tunes (although 'Doctorin the Tardis', the number 1 in question here is questionable), so it was fun to read about this one of their adventures.
The Golden Rules for writing a pop hit that are included here remain tried and true, so that section on its own is worth reading the book for.
A short, extremely honest and open, and entertaining manual for having a number 1 hit. Well worth your time.
It was very breezily written, and basically just lays out step by step exactly what you'd need to do to have a UK number 1 hit song in 1988. It provides some timeless advice and some advice that is clearly a relic of a bygone era. I've always enjoyed the KLF on a conceptual level, as well as some of their tunes (although 'Doctorin the Tardis', the number 1 in question here is questionable), so it was fun to read about this one of their adventures.
The Golden Rules for writing a pop hit that are included here remain tried and true, so that section on its own is worth reading the book for.
A short, extremely honest and open, and entertaining manual for having a number 1 hit. Well worth your time.
December 11, 2020
The two guys in KLF wrote a tongue-in-cheek handbook on how to have a hit record. Specifically, how THEY had a number 1 hit record in the UK in 1988. They describe the process of getting an idea for a song by listening to dance grooves, how they lifted those grooves for use in their own song, how they rented studio time and produced the song without either of them playing an instrument or singing a note. They explain how to get a lawyer, an accountant, a song plugger, a manufacturer, a distributor, a sales force -- or rather, they explain how they did all those things. The book ends with them spatting over which one of them appears on Top of the Pops -- because neither of them wants to do it.
Throughout the whole book, they offer sarcastic asides and discourses on peppermint.
Is the information still applicable thirty-two years later? Who knows if it was even applicable back in 1988. Nevertheless, the book is a fun read.
Throughout the whole book, they offer sarcastic asides and discourses on peppermint.
Is the information still applicable thirty-two years later? Who knows if it was even applicable back in 1988. Nevertheless, the book is a fun read.
May 2, 2019
Nuestros gamberros amigos de la KLF nos explican paso a paso como lograr un número 1 en las listas de éxitos... en Reino Unido... en 1988. Vale, el manual está totalmente obsoleto como ya sabían perfectamente sus escritores que iba a pasar, pero la sarcástica visión de la industria que se ofrece sigue siendo interesante. Además, está claro que la intención detrás de todo esto era más conseguir asumir su propia hazaña que realmente propiciar la invasión de las listas por parte de sus lectores.
Pero bueno, si crees que todavía funcionar, déjalo todo, sigue las reglas doradas y trabaja duro durante tres o cuatro semanas (más bien en llamadas de teléfono y preparar té que en componer nada, eso sí) y veamos a dónde llegas. La conclusión aquí está bien clara: el número uno está garantizado, el éxito y el dinero... eso ya es otra cosa.
Pero bueno, si crees que todavía funcionar, déjalo todo, sigue las reglas doradas y trabaja duro durante tres o cuatro semanas (más bien en llamadas de teléfono y preparar té que en componer nada, eso sí) y veamos a dónde llegas. La conclusión aquí está bien clara: el número uno está garantizado, el éxito y el dinero... eso ya es otra cosa.
September 14, 2022
Should be more like three and a half stars, but this was a ton of fun. Jimmy Cauty and Bill Drummond (AKA the KLF) have written a satirical case study on how to get an empty, brainless record (such as their The Time Lords: Doctorin' the TARDIS [1988]) from random idea (or lack thereof) to legitimate chart-topper.
While this book is dated, it contains a lot of pithy pop-culture observations that ring true today. For instance, it references FOMO (the fear of missing out, a popular contemporary buzzword) practically BY NAME. And anyway, they knew they were dated. Observe:
"Its obvious that in a very short space of time the Japanese will have delivered the technology and brought the price of it down so that you can do the whole thing at home." Clearly a prescient work of satirical futurism, and chillingly accurate.
While this book is dated, it contains a lot of pithy pop-culture observations that ring true today. For instance, it references FOMO (the fear of missing out, a popular contemporary buzzword) practically BY NAME. And anyway, they knew they were dated. Observe:
"Its obvious that in a very short space of time the Japanese will have delivered the technology and brought the price of it down so that you can do the whole thing at home." Clearly a prescient work of satirical futurism, and chillingly accurate.
December 31, 2025
Written in the late 80s, a fun, irreverent take on how to orchestrate a number 1 hit on the UK pop charts - without any musical skills or years of dedication, using a checklist of tasks to be done over a month. Captures a moment in time, much is dated though with some timeless truths about keeping themes and lyrics simple (we're human after all), importance of groove, role of audio engineers, talent vs production etc.
Got the feeling this book was written more as an art or statement piece, rather than an earnest guide towards a career in the music industry, and it wrapped fairly abruptly. Fun fact they went on to burn $1m in cash later on in a (pretty dubious) work of "art", which they ended up regretting.
Got the feeling this book was written more as an art or statement piece, rather than an earnest guide towards a career in the music industry, and it wrapped fairly abruptly. Fun fact they went on to burn $1m in cash later on in a (pretty dubious) work of "art", which they ended up regretting.
April 11, 2021
A document of the KLF's most playful subversion tactic. The resulting single of this exercise isn't so much a situationist performance as a vehicle for presenting all that was/is inane about the very dregs of factory-line pop music. I remember hearing it without context when I was a lot younger and dismissing it as exactly what the KLF had constructed it to be - pointless - which it is, in conjunction with being a pointed criticism.
I feel this instructional guide mostly serves as a vessel for Drummond and Cauty's career katzenjammer - somewhere to let off steam with regards to the obstacles and gripes they'd accumulated navigating the 80s chart-driven landscape.
I feel this instructional guide mostly serves as a vessel for Drummond and Cauty's career katzenjammer - somewhere to let off steam with regards to the obstacles and gripes they'd accumulated navigating the 80s chart-driven landscape.
August 21, 2017
apparentemente è solo quello che viene enunciato dal titolo: una guida per arrivare al primo posto in classifica nella maniera più semplice.in pratica è un'analisi spietata dell'industria discografica, delle sue meccaniche, dei suoi attori principali.riletto oggi, con la crisi discografica ormai incontrollata, non si possono non notare alcune previsioni della situazione attuale, e al tempo stesso si rimpiange un'industria tutto sommato ancora viva...
nello stile dei k.l.f.: puro situazionismo.
nello stile dei k.l.f.: puro situazionismo.
June 2, 2018
Literally essential reading. A snapshot of pop music for a very specific time. While a lot of the info is outdated many of he principles could be still used today. It’s more the underlying theme of ‘just do it’ that matters. Your goals won’t just happen and being creative is second to the actual work required. I honestly wonder how many of the mega djs of the late 90s read this book. I’m talking to you Tiesto :)
September 2, 2020
Never thought I would read a manual on how to have a number one song in the UK in the late eighties.
When I found it, I started reading it as a joke, because it felt as it itself was a joke. However, I found it full of wisdom applicable way outside the niche realm of producing late 20th century pop music and I recommend it to anyone who thinks reading it is a bizarre thing to do.
When I found it, I started reading it as a joke, because it felt as it itself was a joke. However, I found it full of wisdom applicable way outside the niche realm of producing late 20th century pop music and I recommend it to anyone who thinks reading it is a bizarre thing to do.
December 17, 2025
They knew how to write a banger of a book too! Reading this and then hearing their debut single "Doctorin' the Tardis" for the first time ever has got to be my number one cultural experience of the year. Sharp, silly, and beneath the surface there's an amazing story here!
September 18, 2017
Still amazing - yes - a bit outdated but i like the raw fun.
August 11, 2018
still the best and most honest thing I've read about the creative process, despite being very dated and very British and containing a couple weird and distasteful attempts at "edgy" "humor(?)"
April 26, 2020
A very interesting if somewhat dated read in this day and age of downloads, you tube and streaming music services..😌🍺
Read
December 5, 2020such an amusingly prosaic peak into how mundane and 9-to-5 the record industry really was even in its ‘heydey’, quaintly British too with how important tea is presented as being
January 9, 2022
These guys did it and repeated first success with KLF The White Room. Informative, witty and canny. A must read.
September 4, 2025
Nothing ever resolves itself
June 5, 2020
The best way to understand music business in the 90s. Thanks to KLF
August 23, 2021
OK, so this book is a bit dated (something the authors themselves preemptively comment on), but it’s still an essential read for anyone interested in the inner workings of the music business.
“The Manual” is remarkable for its witty, easy writing style and literally awesome conciseness. I have read many books about music and the music business, and I think I learned more from the 54 pages (54 pages!) of “The Manual” than I did from any of the other, considerably longer books. And I actually used to run a record label, so I do have some background with which to judge such things.
And it’s that background that leads me to conclude that this short book really is an incredible accomplishment. The way they structure it along a timeline of several weeks and snark-ly tell you what you’ll be doing each day? Genius. Teaching you how exactly to structure your song as a non-musician and telling you what you can’t and can’t do? Literally genius stuff (and fwiw, spot-on. This book is still valuable as an accurate analysis of the structure of successful pop music, imo, if nothing else).
In addition to predicting the obsolescence of their own book, they even accurately predicted home studios, down to the fact that Japanese production would drive down the price of recording gear and put said gear within the reach of common people. Bill Drummond and Jimmy Cauty really are terribly clever lads who probably could’ve done whatever they wanted with their lives and been successful.
My only criticism for this book is that Drummond and Cauty present this information as something that absolutely anybody could follow, but I don’t think that’s completely true. They present themselves as having been average guys prior to KLF (or at least heavily imply it) who simply decided to try and write a hit song for the heck of it, but in reality, while not famous, both men were already seasoned musicians by this point with a lot of prior music business knowledge and connections - things that almost certainly assisted them greatly in this process.
So in this regard, while the snarky, “it was all so easy“ style is appreciated, it is a bit misleading. Do I think an ordinary person in 1988 could’ve read this and duplicated the results? Yes, it’s possible. Do I think an average person could have done it without having this manual to follow? There’s no way an amateur could learn all of this on their own, on the fly. There’s no question that doing what these guys did was much easier for someone in their position versus an average non-musician coming in with no experience, and I guess I just wish they had owned up to that a bit more. I don’t know. Maybe anyone reading this book in the UK in 1988 already knew who these guys were and it all would have been redundant. Maybe this is a dumb thing to take issue with. But I do think the “average guy,” “hey, we learned all of this as we went” presentation is a bit b.s.
It reminds me of a series of articles ESPN wrote years ago about trying to discover whether or not they could turn an “ordinary person“ into an Olympic athlete. It was a cool idea, but it turns out that the “ordinary person“ they chose was a professional triathlete. I.e., not an ordinary person. Did that make a difference? Of course it did. The person in the ESPN series was ultimately successful in gaining citizenship to a small Caribbean country in return for building their Olympic program (so sort of a “half success?“), but would’ve that happened if the person wasn’t already a highly trained, experience triathlete? Of course not. And I think the same thing applies here. Cool idea, and a great “piss-take,” as the British would say, but these guys managed to admit all of their mistakes without also saying, “oh, by the way, I guess we should mention this wasn’t our first rodeo.”
Even though I spent a lot of time on it (I think it’s clear that I’d never be able to write a book this informative and keep it to 54 pages), this is ultimately a minor criticism. I understand why they had to write it this way. It wouldn’t have been any fun otherwise. And of course they didn’t have to write it at all. Plus, I really believe that they thought, or at least hoped, that an average Joe/Jane could have taken this and produced the same result. I mean, that was the point, right? I think it’s just a different shade of what they were trying to do with the whole “Ford Timelord“ thing in the first place (for those unfamiliar with their hit song, the gimmick they went for, which they later decided was a mistake, was to pretend that the song had been written by a car). As they said, “aging rockers find a way to trick the system“ isn’t nearly as interesting as “we found a way to write a hit single, and here’s how you can, too.“
“The Manual” is remarkable for its witty, easy writing style and literally awesome conciseness. I have read many books about music and the music business, and I think I learned more from the 54 pages (54 pages!) of “The Manual” than I did from any of the other, considerably longer books. And I actually used to run a record label, so I do have some background with which to judge such things.
And it’s that background that leads me to conclude that this short book really is an incredible accomplishment. The way they structure it along a timeline of several weeks and snark-ly tell you what you’ll be doing each day? Genius. Teaching you how exactly to structure your song as a non-musician and telling you what you can’t and can’t do? Literally genius stuff (and fwiw, spot-on. This book is still valuable as an accurate analysis of the structure of successful pop music, imo, if nothing else).
In addition to predicting the obsolescence of their own book, they even accurately predicted home studios, down to the fact that Japanese production would drive down the price of recording gear and put said gear within the reach of common people. Bill Drummond and Jimmy Cauty really are terribly clever lads who probably could’ve done whatever they wanted with their lives and been successful.
My only criticism for this book is that Drummond and Cauty present this information as something that absolutely anybody could follow, but I don’t think that’s completely true. They present themselves as having been average guys prior to KLF (or at least heavily imply it) who simply decided to try and write a hit song for the heck of it, but in reality, while not famous, both men were already seasoned musicians by this point with a lot of prior music business knowledge and connections - things that almost certainly assisted them greatly in this process.
So in this regard, while the snarky, “it was all so easy“ style is appreciated, it is a bit misleading. Do I think an ordinary person in 1988 could’ve read this and duplicated the results? Yes, it’s possible. Do I think an average person could have done it without having this manual to follow? There’s no way an amateur could learn all of this on their own, on the fly. There’s no question that doing what these guys did was much easier for someone in their position versus an average non-musician coming in with no experience, and I guess I just wish they had owned up to that a bit more. I don’t know. Maybe anyone reading this book in the UK in 1988 already knew who these guys were and it all would have been redundant. Maybe this is a dumb thing to take issue with. But I do think the “average guy,” “hey, we learned all of this as we went” presentation is a bit b.s.
It reminds me of a series of articles ESPN wrote years ago about trying to discover whether or not they could turn an “ordinary person“ into an Olympic athlete. It was a cool idea, but it turns out that the “ordinary person“ they chose was a professional triathlete. I.e., not an ordinary person. Did that make a difference? Of course it did. The person in the ESPN series was ultimately successful in gaining citizenship to a small Caribbean country in return for building their Olympic program (so sort of a “half success?“), but would’ve that happened if the person wasn’t already a highly trained, experience triathlete? Of course not. And I think the same thing applies here. Cool idea, and a great “piss-take,” as the British would say, but these guys managed to admit all of their mistakes without also saying, “oh, by the way, I guess we should mention this wasn’t our first rodeo.”
Even though I spent a lot of time on it (I think it’s clear that I’d never be able to write a book this informative and keep it to 54 pages), this is ultimately a minor criticism. I understand why they had to write it this way. It wouldn’t have been any fun otherwise. And of course they didn’t have to write it at all. Plus, I really believe that they thought, or at least hoped, that an average Joe/Jane could have taken this and produced the same result. I mean, that was the point, right? I think it’s just a different shade of what they were trying to do with the whole “Ford Timelord“ thing in the first place (for those unfamiliar with their hit song, the gimmick they went for, which they later decided was a mistake, was to pretend that the song had been written by a car). As they said, “aging rockers find a way to trick the system“ isn’t nearly as interesting as “we found a way to write a hit single, and here’s how you can, too.“
February 28, 2017
An honest snapshot of what it takes to get to the top of the pop charts, 1988. This relatively short manual focuses mainly on three areas: the businesscraft of the music industry, cribnotes on what makes a song popular, and the appropriate attitude one should have when putting yourself through it. Some of this holds up over time, some of it doesnt (in particular all the studio/vinyl stuff is the most dated).
The advice of listening to the best contemporary club grooves and singing inane lyrics until something pops out as a hooky chorus - pure gold.
Musicians looking to use this as a practical guide should heed elsewhere, as the main draw for this one is its historical record, the humor of Drummond and Cauty, and the KLF connection.
I would rate this 23 stars if i could, but alas only 5 stars.
5/5 KLF
2/5 Practicality
2/5 Spelling and punctuation
5/5 on urging you to make tea
The advice of listening to the best contemporary club grooves and singing inane lyrics until something pops out as a hooky chorus - pure gold.
Musicians looking to use this as a practical guide should heed elsewhere, as the main draw for this one is its historical record, the humor of Drummond and Cauty, and the KLF connection.
I would rate this 23 stars if i could, but alas only 5 stars.
5/5 KLF
2/5 Practicality
2/5 Spelling and punctuation
5/5 on urging you to make tea
July 29, 2020
Almost completely out-of-date but still a must-read. Would love to read an updated version.
Displaying 1 - 29 of 49 reviews