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The Marriage Map: Understanding and Surviving the Stages of Marriage
Hardcover and Jacket. 1986. Peachtree Publisher, Ltd. First Edition, First Printing, Gilt lettering on spine. Collectible, The book is like new. The jacket show some wear on edges and tanning.Otherwise the book is like new.(Please see the pictures). Quick and safe shipping. M-01
Hardcover
First published March 1, 1986
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December 22, 2024
HIGHLIGHTS:
1. Individuals grow and marriages evolve.
- To be needed, not helpless.
- Trouble comes when someone resists the change that is inevitable.
2. SEPARATION:
- People get in trouble in their marriages or in being unable to find suitable partners because they could not separate from a powerful mother when they were very young.
- The real challenge in being a married person – the challenge so often overlooked – is the process of separating from a spouse. And healthy separation is the key to success in every stage
3. STAGE 1:
- Fantasy Time (1-3 years). Fantasies of early marriage are best dispelled quickly before two people allow themselves to be crushed by unmet expectations. Some “problems” are simply manifestations of individuals. Forces people into action…speak less and do more.
4. STAGE 2:
- Compromise (2-7 years): First encounter of mutual disappointment. Accept the emergence of individuality – add interest to marriage and give each person greater freedom. Mature marriages know when to keep quiet…from intellectual and emotional privacy. The dissolved idea of “perfect love match”. Some “problems” are simply manifestations of individuals. Forces people into action…speak less and do more.
5. STAGE 3:
- Reality Struggles (5-10 years): Mature couples being the final acceptance of one another just as they are. No one can “complete” you…except you.
6. STAGE 4:
- Decisions (10-15 years): Accepts reality and doesn’t like it. “I had to make compromises with myself.” “there was a real payoff in making a conscious decision to be selfish.”
7. STAGE 5: Separation (12- 17 years): cope or flee.
- The only kinds of marriages that can avoid a story period of separation are those where both partners enter the relationship as fully-formed mature, independent people—and fight hard to stay that way.
- One sure sign of emotional maturity is a person’s ability to think and act and be comfortably alone.
8 STAGE 6: Together Again (17-20 years): You want to stay married. Enhance growth as a couple. Divorce is not an option.
9. STAGE 7: New Freedom (20-25+ years): Surging personal growth. Release from pressures. Flows naturally. Not afraid to change without permission from a spouse. People with a strong identity of their own don’t’ attempt to foist their ideas upon their mate. With a person’s final realization that he/she can stand alone, marriage takes on a new meaning.
10. There are 7 stages of marriages that grow from infancy of wedded bliss to adolescent rebellion of finding your own identity in the union to maturity of the freedom to be who you fully are. Nurture relationships from infancy to maturity.
1. Individuals grow and marriages evolve.
- To be needed, not helpless.
- Trouble comes when someone resists the change that is inevitable.
2. SEPARATION:
- People get in trouble in their marriages or in being unable to find suitable partners because they could not separate from a powerful mother when they were very young.
- The real challenge in being a married person – the challenge so often overlooked – is the process of separating from a spouse. And healthy separation is the key to success in every stage
3. STAGE 1:
- Fantasy Time (1-3 years). Fantasies of early marriage are best dispelled quickly before two people allow themselves to be crushed by unmet expectations. Some “problems” are simply manifestations of individuals. Forces people into action…speak less and do more.
4. STAGE 2:
- Compromise (2-7 years): First encounter of mutual disappointment. Accept the emergence of individuality – add interest to marriage and give each person greater freedom. Mature marriages know when to keep quiet…from intellectual and emotional privacy. The dissolved idea of “perfect love match”. Some “problems” are simply manifestations of individuals. Forces people into action…speak less and do more.
5. STAGE 3:
- Reality Struggles (5-10 years): Mature couples being the final acceptance of one another just as they are. No one can “complete” you…except you.
6. STAGE 4:
- Decisions (10-15 years): Accepts reality and doesn’t like it. “I had to make compromises with myself.” “there was a real payoff in making a conscious decision to be selfish.”
7. STAGE 5: Separation (12- 17 years): cope or flee.
- The only kinds of marriages that can avoid a story period of separation are those where both partners enter the relationship as fully-formed mature, independent people—and fight hard to stay that way.
- One sure sign of emotional maturity is a person’s ability to think and act and be comfortably alone.
8 STAGE 6: Together Again (17-20 years): You want to stay married. Enhance growth as a couple. Divorce is not an option.
9. STAGE 7: New Freedom (20-25+ years): Surging personal growth. Release from pressures. Flows naturally. Not afraid to change without permission from a spouse. People with a strong identity of their own don’t’ attempt to foist their ideas upon their mate. With a person’s final realization that he/she can stand alone, marriage takes on a new meaning.
10. There are 7 stages of marriages that grow from infancy of wedded bliss to adolescent rebellion of finding your own identity in the union to maturity of the freedom to be who you fully are. Nurture relationships from infancy to maturity.
August 4, 2007
What can I say but I'm still married.
Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews