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What Babies Say Before They Can Talk: The Nine Signals Infants Use to Express Their Feelings
In What Babies Say Before They Can Talk, psychiatrist and psychoanalyst Paul C. Holinger, M.D., M.P.H., a explains how infants communicate with us, and we with them, and outlines the nine easily identifiable signals that will help you to decode your baby’s needs and feelings.
Dr. Holinger decodes the nine easily identifiable signals—interest, enjoyment, surprise, distress, anger, fear, shame, disgust (a reaction to bad tastes), and dissmell (a reaction to bad smells)—that all babies use to express their needs and wants. These insights will aid parents in discerning what their baby is feeling. This book can help all parents become more confident and self-aware in their interactions with their children, create positive communication, and put the joy back into parenting.
This is a unique work. It provides a foundation for understanding feelings and behavior. Based on emerging research, What Babies Say Before They Can Talk offers parents a new perspective on their babies' sense of the world and the people around them. The goal of this book is to help parents enhance their infants' potential, prevent problems, and raise happy, healthy, responsible children.
Dr. Holinger decodes the nine easily identifiable signals—interest, enjoyment, surprise, distress, anger, fear, shame, disgust (a reaction to bad tastes), and dissmell (a reaction to bad smells)—that all babies use to express their needs and wants. These insights will aid parents in discerning what their baby is feeling. This book can help all parents become more confident and self-aware in their interactions with their children, create positive communication, and put the joy back into parenting.
This is a unique work. It provides a foundation for understanding feelings and behavior. Based on emerging research, What Babies Say Before They Can Talk offers parents a new perspective on their babies' sense of the world and the people around them. The goal of this book is to help parents enhance their infants' potential, prevent problems, and raise happy, healthy, responsible children.
288 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2003
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247 people want to read
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September 23, 2015
A clear, simple and easy to read guide of how to read the signals of proverbial babies and how to act appropriately to create independent, happy children who've got self-esteem.
October 1, 2018
مضت أشهر أربعة منذُ ابتدأتُ بمشوار الأمومة الذي كان ليسَ كأيّ شيء قبله، كانت تجربة صعبة تستحق البحث عن الإجابات الدقيقة عبر الكُتب، البكاء المتواصل الذي كانت عليه آسية كانَ يُقلقني والأشدّ من ذلك كانت تقتلني الأفكار الكثيرة التي يطرحها الأشخاص الذين هُم من حولي حولَ هذا الأمر الجلل الذي اسمهُ بكاء!
كم سمعتُ جملة " اتركيها تعيّط" لكن كيف يمكن لطفلٍ رضيع أن يُسمعني حاجاته الا عن طريق البُكاء؟ فهوَ لغته الأولى كي يحصل على ما يُريد، لذلك قررتُ البحث عن كتاب اسمه " ماذا يقول الأطفال قبل أن يتكلّموا" كان كتابي الأول في مجال التربية والأمومة وفي هذه التجربة الجديدة جداً!
للأسف لم اجد الكتاب في أيٍّ من المكتبات الموجودة في فلسطين، كنتُ أريد طلبه من الخارج لكنّه كان سيأخذ وقتاً وأنا اريد ان ابتدئ فوراً، لذلك قررت أن أقوم بطباعته صحيح أنّ مذاق القراءة عبر كتاب الكاتب تفوق لذّة القراءة عبر أوراق مطبوعة لكن المهم أن أحصل على الملجأ لأسئلتي الكثيرة.
هل حصلتُ على ما أريد؟ بالفعل كان كتاب يستحقّ الجلوس اليه لمدة 4 أشهر كاملة وأنا سعيدة بالكمّ الهائل من المعلومات والاجابات التي حصلتُ عليها وبطريقة علميّة مشروعة وتحت عنوان أبحاثٍ ودراساتٍ أجريَت من قبَل العديد من العلماء وعلى الكثير من الأطفال الرضّع.
المهم أنني لم أكُن لأجد ضالّتي في الكتب دون مساعدة حصلتُ عليها عندما ذهبتُ أثناء الحمل لحضور ملتقى جمعيّة البيوت السعيدة "أيادي صغيرة" والتي تحدّثت فيها الأستاذة دعاء الشرباتي عن الكتب التي استخدمتها أثناء مسيرتها في الأمومة
كم سمعتُ جملة " اتركيها تعيّط" لكن كيف يمكن لطفلٍ رضيع أن يُسمعني حاجاته الا عن طريق البُكاء؟ فهوَ لغته الأولى كي يحصل على ما يُريد، لذلك قررتُ البحث عن كتاب اسمه " ماذا يقول الأطفال قبل أن يتكلّموا" كان كتابي الأول في مجال التربية والأمومة وفي هذه التجربة الجديدة جداً!
للأسف لم اجد الكتاب في أيٍّ من المكتبات الموجودة في فلسطين، كنتُ أريد طلبه من الخارج لكنّه كان سيأخذ وقتاً وأنا اريد ان ابتدئ فوراً، لذلك قررت أن أقوم بطباعته صحيح أنّ مذاق القراءة عبر كتاب الكاتب تفوق لذّة القراءة عبر أوراق مطبوعة لكن المهم أن أحصل على الملجأ لأسئلتي الكثيرة.
هل حصلتُ على ما أريد؟ بالفعل كان كتاب يستحقّ الجلوس اليه لمدة 4 أشهر كاملة وأنا سعيدة بالكمّ الهائل من المعلومات والاجابات التي حصلتُ عليها وبطريقة علميّة مشروعة وتحت عنوان أبحاثٍ ودراساتٍ أجريَت من قبَل العديد من العلماء وعلى الكثير من الأطفال الرضّع.
المهم أنني لم أكُن لأجد ضالّتي في الكتب دون مساعدة حصلتُ عليها عندما ذهبتُ أثناء الحمل لحضور ملتقى جمعيّة البيوت السعيدة "أيادي صغيرة" والتي تحدّثت فيها الأستاذة دعاء الشرباتي عن الكتب التي استخدمتها أثناء مسيرتها في الأمومة
May 11, 2012
What Babies Say Before They Can Talk is a fantastic book about communicating with your baby. Admittedly, the title is a bit misleading. While Paul Holinger does spent the last third of the book reviewing nine facial cues that babies give to communicate - interest, enjoyment, surprise, distress, anger, fear, shame, disgust, and dissmell (a reaction to bad smells)- , the majority of this book is filled with excellent parenting advice, not only for babies, but for toddlers and even small children.
The general theme is this: try to interpret and listen to what your child is thinking or feeling, and respond with care. Simple, right? Not so; I think this takes some real discipline on the part of parents, especially when babies get a little older and are into everything. Holinger gives an example of a baby playing with the ribbon on a wrapped box, potentially ruining what an adult would value - it's looking pretty on a box. Most parents would chide a child for playing with the ribbon, and some would discipline the child for touching it. Holinger asks the parent to step back and ask why the child is touching the ribbon. The baby is probably interested because it feels nice and the mechanics of the ribbon are interesting and confusing - the baby wants to figure out how it works! In this example, by disciplining the child or scolding her, a parent may not be disciplining the baby's playing with the ribbon, but actually discouraging playfulness and creativity. Holinger suggests that a more appropriate response is to try to validate the child's curiosity ("Look at that interesting ribbon you found! It sure is soft, and look how pulling on one end makes it longer!"), and then, if needed, distracting them, or re-directing their attention, always letting them know why something is inappropriate instead of just saying "No!" ("I see that you're very interested in that riboon, but it's part of a present for your grandma, so we shouldn't play with it. But look at the bow on my shoe laces and the way these strings do the same thing, let's play with this instead.")
Holinger, using the backing of many scientific studies,* argues that parents should encourage children when they're interested, verbally affirm what they think a child is feeling or thinking, and be careful to always offer explanations when a "no" is given.
Holinger is a clear writer and the book was a fast and informative read. I really enjoyed reading What Babies Say Before They Can Talk after finishing Brain Rules for Baby by John Medina (I also strongly recommend reading this book). Medina has a chapter on always validating a child's feelings and making sure they feel heard and respected, and I feel that Holinger's book was a more in-depth exploration of this topic. Holinger was also more liberal with actual parenting advice, whereas Medina more lays out what scientific studies show, and makes suggestions for parents.
Also, while the book says it is aimed at parents of babies from birth to speaking, I think it will be most useful for parents of babies from 12-30 months.
*A note on the studies - I would assume that they are all peer-reviewed studies and Holinger has an extensive list at the back of the book, but I would have appreciated the explicit statement that they are peer-reviewed studies that are sound, as well as consistent citations and references to the studies throughout the book, which are not given.
The general theme is this: try to interpret and listen to what your child is thinking or feeling, and respond with care. Simple, right? Not so; I think this takes some real discipline on the part of parents, especially when babies get a little older and are into everything. Holinger gives an example of a baby playing with the ribbon on a wrapped box, potentially ruining what an adult would value - it's looking pretty on a box. Most parents would chide a child for playing with the ribbon, and some would discipline the child for touching it. Holinger asks the parent to step back and ask why the child is touching the ribbon. The baby is probably interested because it feels nice and the mechanics of the ribbon are interesting and confusing - the baby wants to figure out how it works! In this example, by disciplining the child or scolding her, a parent may not be disciplining the baby's playing with the ribbon, but actually discouraging playfulness and creativity. Holinger suggests that a more appropriate response is to try to validate the child's curiosity ("Look at that interesting ribbon you found! It sure is soft, and look how pulling on one end makes it longer!"), and then, if needed, distracting them, or re-directing their attention, always letting them know why something is inappropriate instead of just saying "No!" ("I see that you're very interested in that riboon, but it's part of a present for your grandma, so we shouldn't play with it. But look at the bow on my shoe laces and the way these strings do the same thing, let's play with this instead.")
Holinger, using the backing of many scientific studies,* argues that parents should encourage children when they're interested, verbally affirm what they think a child is feeling or thinking, and be careful to always offer explanations when a "no" is given.
Holinger is a clear writer and the book was a fast and informative read. I really enjoyed reading What Babies Say Before They Can Talk after finishing Brain Rules for Baby by John Medina (I also strongly recommend reading this book). Medina has a chapter on always validating a child's feelings and making sure they feel heard and respected, and I feel that Holinger's book was a more in-depth exploration of this topic. Holinger was also more liberal with actual parenting advice, whereas Medina more lays out what scientific studies show, and makes suggestions for parents.
Also, while the book says it is aimed at parents of babies from birth to speaking, I think it will be most useful for parents of babies from 12-30 months.
*A note on the studies - I would assume that they are all peer-reviewed studies and Holinger has an extensive list at the back of the book, but I would have appreciated the explicit statement that they are peer-reviewed studies that are sound, as well as consistent citations and references to the studies throughout the book, which are not given.
February 23, 2018
In What Babies Say Before They Can Talk, Paul Holinger argues that there are nine universal signals that infants use to communicate their wants and needs. These signals can be divided into two groups: Signals of fun (interest, enjoyment, surprise) and signals for help (distress, anger, fear, shame, disgust, dissmell). He provides concrete, practical examples and information to help parents identify and respond to these signals. Holinger’s arguments are straightforward and appeal primarily to parents’ logic, observations, and experiences, but he also provides a plethora of data and research in the appendices for those interested in source checking (aka me).
Holinger’s book leans heavily on Silvan Tompkin’s Affect Theory, which identifies the nine affects (or “signals,” as Holinger terms them) and argues that mental health depends upon the maximization of positive affects (“signals of fun”) and the minimization of negative affects (“signals for help”). Ruth Leys, a psychology professor at Johns Hopkins University, has been critical of this theory, and recent research suggests that there are actually only four affects: happiness, sadness, fear/surprise, and anger/disgust.
Whomever you agree with and however you choose to group them though, simple observation quickly makes it clear that these basic signals do have universal, observable characteristics that can aid a parent in discerning their infant’s needs. You probably heard it a dozen times as a new parent – I know I did – “Oh, pretty soon you’ll know exactly what your baby needs from the way they cry.” Uhh….. hi. I have this thing. It’s called autism. I am TERRIBLE with non-verbal signals. I’m actually terrible with verbal signals too, unless it’s explicitly, “I’m feeling [X] right now, and I want you to [Y].”
Thankfully, Holinger spells it out that explicitly for readers. He provides pictures (of real babies) showcasing each signal, a list of specific characteristics to look for (slack jaw, drooping eyelids, etc.), and a variety of parent anecdotes. As an aspie, I found this information to be a revelation.
What Babies Say… is not without its flaws. The entire first half of the book could go – mostly lecturing about parenting and discipline styles – and I have a fundamental disagreement with Holinger on using “playfulness” (aka distraction) to pull children away from negative emotions. Still, this book gave me the tools that I needed to be able to address my baby’s developing needs and desires, and for that I am incredibly grateful.
The Verdict: 3/5 Stars – Recommend to any parent who has ever wanted to shake their baby and scream, “JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT!”
Holinger’s book leans heavily on Silvan Tompkin’s Affect Theory, which identifies the nine affects (or “signals,” as Holinger terms them) and argues that mental health depends upon the maximization of positive affects (“signals of fun”) and the minimization of negative affects (“signals for help”). Ruth Leys, a psychology professor at Johns Hopkins University, has been critical of this theory, and recent research suggests that there are actually only four affects: happiness, sadness, fear/surprise, and anger/disgust.
Whomever you agree with and however you choose to group them though, simple observation quickly makes it clear that these basic signals do have universal, observable characteristics that can aid a parent in discerning their infant’s needs. You probably heard it a dozen times as a new parent – I know I did – “Oh, pretty soon you’ll know exactly what your baby needs from the way they cry.” Uhh….. hi. I have this thing. It’s called autism. I am TERRIBLE with non-verbal signals. I’m actually terrible with verbal signals too, unless it’s explicitly, “I’m feeling [X] right now, and I want you to [Y].”
Thankfully, Holinger spells it out that explicitly for readers. He provides pictures (of real babies) showcasing each signal, a list of specific characteristics to look for (slack jaw, drooping eyelids, etc.), and a variety of parent anecdotes. As an aspie, I found this information to be a revelation.
What Babies Say… is not without its flaws. The entire first half of the book could go – mostly lecturing about parenting and discipline styles – and I have a fundamental disagreement with Holinger on using “playfulness” (aka distraction) to pull children away from negative emotions. Still, this book gave me the tools that I needed to be able to address my baby’s developing needs and desires, and for that I am incredibly grateful.
The Verdict: 3/5 Stars – Recommend to any parent who has ever wanted to shake their baby and scream, “JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT!”
April 28, 2021
من الكتب التي استفدت منها وأعانتني وانصح بها اي ام مقبلة على الانجاب خصوصا اذا كانت تجربتها الاولى في الامومة
يتحدث الكاتب عن المشاعر الفطرية والغريزية التي يولد بها الأطفال وكيف يحاولون التعبير عنها وكيف يمكن فهم بكائهم الذي يكون مربكا للآباء الجدد في معظم الاحيان حيث يتم التعبير به عن الكثير من المشاعر والاحتياجات والآلام من قبل الرضع الذين مازالوا عاجزين عن الكلام والتواصل او حتى الاشارة. والكاتب ينوه ان اخذ ملاحظاته بعين الاعتبار لن يساعد في حل المشاكل كاملة الا انه يعين ويفيد في معظمها وهذا ما خبرته فعلا.
ملاحظة شخصية أخيرة: أساس علاقة الأم بالطفل هو الغريزة وإحساسها الداخلي التي تدرك به احتياجاته بنجاح في غالب الاوقات وهذا النوع من الكتب ليس بديلا بحال من الاحوال عن علاقة الأمومة الفطرية لكنه معين ورافد
يتحدث الكاتب عن المشاعر الفطرية والغريزية التي يولد بها الأطفال وكيف يحاولون التعبير عنها وكيف يمكن فهم بكائهم الذي يكون مربكا للآباء الجدد في معظم الاحيان حيث يتم التعبير به عن الكثير من المشاعر والاحتياجات والآلام من قبل الرضع الذين مازالوا عاجزين عن الكلام والتواصل او حتى الاشارة. والكاتب ينوه ان اخذ ملاحظاته بعين الاعتبار لن يساعد في حل المشاكل كاملة الا انه يعين ويفيد في معظمها وهذا ما خبرته فعلا.
ملاحظة شخصية أخيرة: أساس علاقة الأم بالطفل هو الغريزة وإحساسها الداخلي التي تدرك به احتياجاته بنجاح في غالب الاوقات وهذا النوع من الكتب ليس بديلا بحال من الاحوال عن علاقة الأمومة الفطرية لكنه معين ورافد
July 10, 2025
شخصية الطفل المستقبلية هي نتيجة : الصفات الفطرية ، وصفات الوالدين الذين يربون الطفل ، والتجارب والظروف التي يمر بها الطفل في حياته.
ثلاث قوى رئيسية تشكل شخصية الطفل : الوالدان ومن يشاركهما في رعايته وسعادته
الأهل الذين لايستطيعان التحكم بانفعالاتهما لن يستطيعان تعليم طفلهما، اما ردة فعل الأهل في الظروف الطارئة تسبب صدمات عند الصغار مثال الحرب او الفقر او العنف لها تأثير كبير على الطفل وتسبب له صدمة.
بولد الطفل ومعه قدرات للتعبير عن مشاعره وردود افعاله : لغة جسده وتعابير وجهه والأصوات .
لا تتأخروا كثيرا في الإستجابة لإشارات الطفل حتى لايصاب بالإستياء الشديد الذي يصعب التعامل معه.
المفاتيح الخمسة لتنشئة طفل سعيد ويشعر بالمسؤولية:
تشجيع الطفل على التعبير عن مشاعره السلبية والإيجابية. فهم رغباته العميقة والإستجابة لها.
الإهتمام وتشجيعه على التعبير عن شعوره بالسرور ، والإستجابة لاشارات طلب المساعدة والخوف والغضب .
الأطفال قبل أن يتكلموا يعبّرون عن احتياجاتهم ورغباتهم من خلال البكاء، والابتسام، والغمز، والإشارات الجسدية الأخرى. كما أنهم يستخدمون تعابير الوجه ولغة الجسد للتواصل مع من حولهم.
البكاء: هو وسيلة الطفل الأساسية للتواصل، فكل نوع من البكاء قد يشير إلى حاجة مختلفة كالجوع أو الألم أو البلل.
يظهر الابتسامة كعلامة على الرضا والسعادة وهو وسيلة الطفل للتفاعل مع البيئة المحيطة.
الإشارات الجسدية:
قد يحرك الطفل ذراعيه أو ساقيه أو رأسه بطرق معينة للإشارة إلى رغبته في شيء ما أو لطلب المساعدة.
قد يستخدم الطفل حركات وجهه للتعبير عن مشاعر مختلفة، مثل الغضب أو الخوف أو الدهشة.
يستخدم الطفل حركات الجسم بشكل عام للتعبير عن حالته المزاجية ورغباته.
بشكل عام، يتعلم الأطفال التواصل غير اللفظي قبل أن يتمكنوا من استخدام الكلمات، ويفه
ثلاث قوى رئيسية تشكل شخصية الطفل : الوالدان ومن يشاركهما في رعايته وسعادته
الأهل الذين لايستطيعان التحكم بانفعالاتهما لن يستطيعان تعليم طفلهما، اما ردة فعل الأهل في الظروف الطارئة تسبب صدمات عند الصغار مثال الحرب او الفقر او العنف لها تأثير كبير على الطفل وتسبب له صدمة.
بولد الطفل ومعه قدرات للتعبير عن مشاعره وردود افعاله : لغة جسده وتعابير وجهه والأصوات .
لا تتأخروا كثيرا في الإستجابة لإشارات الطفل حتى لايصاب بالإستياء الشديد الذي يصعب التعامل معه.
المفاتيح الخمسة لتنشئة طفل سعيد ويشعر بالمسؤولية:
تشجيع الطفل على التعبير عن مشاعره السلبية والإيجابية. فهم رغباته العميقة والإستجابة لها.
الإهتمام وتشجيعه على التعبير عن شعوره بالسرور ، والإستجابة لاشارات طلب المساعدة والخوف والغضب .
الأطفال قبل أن يتكلموا يعبّرون عن احتياجاتهم ورغباتهم من خلال البكاء، والابتسام، والغمز، والإشارات الجسدية الأخرى. كما أنهم يستخدمون تعابير الوجه ولغة الجسد للتواصل مع من حولهم.
البكاء: هو وسيلة الطفل الأساسية للتواصل، فكل نوع من البكاء قد يشير إلى حاجة مختلفة كالجوع أو الألم أو البلل.
يظهر الابتسامة كعلامة على الرضا والسعادة وهو وسيلة الطفل للتفاعل مع البيئة المحيطة.
الإشارات الجسدية:
قد يحرك الطفل ذراعيه أو ساقيه أو رأسه بطرق معينة للإشارة إلى رغبته في شيء ما أو لطلب المساعدة.
قد يستخدم الطفل حركات وجهه للتعبير عن مشاعر مختلفة، مثل الغضب أو الخوف أو الدهشة.
يستخدم الطفل حركات الجسم بشكل عام للتعبير عن حالته المزاجية ورغباته.
بشكل عام، يتعلم الأطفال التواصل غير اللفظي قبل أن يتمكنوا من استخدام الكلمات، ويفه
March 19, 2021
Every mother to be should read this book!
February 1, 2022
ببساطة مش بحب كتب التنمية البشرية وشبيهاتها
الكثير والكثير من التكرار والمواقف الساذجة والسمذجة
الكثير والكثير من التكرار والمواقف الساذجة والسمذجة
November 18, 2011
The word, "Obviously!" came to mind while reading much of this book. But. I might have been the choir he was preaching too, and I recognize a lot of the "bad parenting examples" in observing others. I also haven't had reason to discipline my ten-month-old just yet, but I know the time will come, and reading about how to deal with negative signals was helpful. I've also had a good model for positive parenting in my sister-in-law, whose sons (and, as of yesterday, daughter) are beautifully high octane: curious, unrestrained energy--busy, busy, busy. I might have wanted to hamper my daughter's expressions of her signals if I hadn't had her example and that of her mother (my mother-in-law), so maybe this book would have been more helpful to me if I didn't have that blessing.
One big appeal is the purpose in writing this book--the author had seen too many children disrupted and disturbed by unfortunate parenting, good intentioned or not, and this is his efforts at preventative measures. I applaud that, and I hope, by being reminded of these things, I can do well by my child(ren) too.
A minor irk was the way in which the book was set up to give an anecdote or more at the start of chapters and how he would, essentially, quote himself. I'm sure he could have found other parents to chime in. I didn't mind his giving of anecdotes--I welcome them--but they way in which it was presented, the reader might imagine it another parent backing him up until reaching the end-point of the anecdote and his own name would be revealed.
One big appeal is the purpose in writing this book--the author had seen too many children disrupted and disturbed by unfortunate parenting, good intentioned or not, and this is his efforts at preventative measures. I applaud that, and I hope, by being reminded of these things, I can do well by my child(ren) too.
A minor irk was the way in which the book was set up to give an anecdote or more at the start of chapters and how he would, essentially, quote himself. I'm sure he could have found other parents to chime in. I didn't mind his giving of anecdotes--I welcome them--but they way in which it was presented, the reader might imagine it another parent backing him up until reaching the end-point of the anecdote and his own name would be revealed.
June 6, 2011
It's more of a guide to becoming a more self-aware parent. Less an "oh, he is complaining about the broccoli you fed him for lunch" type of book. It's great to read while your kid is still a baby, because these instinctive signals/responses evolve into emotions, and the book shows you how to acknowledge them and respond to them so that your child learns self-control and tension regulation (basically, healthy ways to express emotion so he's a stable, mature, happy individual). The book also really makes you look at how you were raised in a whole new light, and challenges all the ideas and experiences that are informing your own "ideal" parenting approach.
It's somewhat instinctive, but it really makes you more patient and empathetic with kids. I think it is a very compassionate approach to parenting that everyone would benefit from. I plan on re-reading it in a year or so...
It's somewhat instinctive, but it really makes you more patient and empathetic with kids. I think it is a very compassionate approach to parenting that everyone would benefit from. I plan on re-reading it in a year or so...
October 3, 2016
Read for Infant Mental Health class. While the book is interesting in that it identifies and explains the 9 different inborn signals baby have: interest, enjoyment, surprise, anger, fear, shame, disgust and dismell, it seemed to be a lot of information for the lay person. The parenting message is solid: recognizing, validating and supporting these emotions and experiences in their child helps the child develop a healthy self-concept, resiliency, and self-regulation skills. But there is an old school behaviorist vibe to his writing ("reward them with love") and its 1990 publication date precedes any of the compelling neuropsych research that supports positive parenting. I like Daniel Seigel's writing for parents more.
October 8, 2009
Holinger -- a psychiatrist and psychoanalyst who specializes in infants and families -- articulates the nine signals infants have to communicate how they're feeling: surprise, interest, enjoyment, distress, anger, fear, shame, disgust (something doesn't taste good), and dissmell (something doesn't smell good). He explains how the signals manifest, what they mean, and how to respond to them. I found the book pragmatic and helpful and very baby-positive. I read almost his whole chapter on discipline out loud to my husband. I definitely recommend it for parents of young children.
April 25, 2014
The title I misleading. This book in my opinion addresses children 3 and older versus infants. I was looking for information on communication before a child reaches the first year of life and found little of it in each chapter. The best point made relevant to me in this book was that infants communicate in order to survive. A crying baby is not doing so out of selfish reasons. It is not about you as a parent as much as it is about the child sensing an urgent need and calling for help. Responding promptly to a crying infant creates a sense of security in the child-parent relationship.
August 16, 2010
This book was totally amazing. It really made a ton of sense and gave me the tools I need to understand my baby, and actually all people. We're all the same and we all want to be loved and treated fairly, even little kids. It gave great points on how to discipline kids and how to not damage their self esteem. Loved this book!
Read
January 3, 2008read it but cant recall its idea now
October 8, 2008
I enjoyed this book and plan to incorporate it's ideas into my parenting.
May 27, 2012
Somewhat repeatative and quite a bit more psychobabble than I usually prefer, but it does have some good points.
October 27, 2014
2nd parenting book I'd suggest.
Read
October 11, 2010This one lost me by asserting that infants demonstrate shame. What do they have to be ashamed of?
February 28, 2017
كامرأة جديدة في عالم الأمومة، وجدت نفسي انجذب نحو الكتب التي تكتنز المعلومات حول التربية والتواصل مع الأطفال ووجدت هذا الكتاب ذات قيمة فيمكن للأم بسهولة إلى جانب صدق احاسيسها تجاه طفلها ومعرفتها بالدلالات للرضيع قبل أن يتكلم أن تنمي التواصل بينها وبين طفلها. اعجبت بطريقة طرح المعلومات فقد كنت متوقعة كم هائل من المعلومات الغير واضحة ولكني وجدت معلومات مفيدة وواضحة سريعة الفهم.
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