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They Call Me Naughty Lola: Personal Ads from the London Review of Books
I've divorced better men than you. And worn more expensive shoes than these. So don't think placing this ad is the biggest comedown I've ever had to make. Sensitive F, 34.
Employed in publishing? Me too. Stay the hell away. Man on the inside seeks woman on the outside who likes milling around hospitals guessing the illnesses of out-patients. 30-35. Leeds.
They Call Me Naughty Lola is a testament to the creativity and humor that can still be found among men and women longing for love and allergic to the concepts of Internet and speed dating. Here is an irresistible collection of the most brilliant and often absurd personal ads from the world's funniest-- and most erudite-- lonely-hearts column. The ads have been called "surreal haikus of the heart," and in an age of false advertising, the men and women who write them are hindered neither by high expectations nor by positivism of any kind. And yet, while hopes of finding a suitable mate remain low, the column has produced a handful of marriages, many friendships, and at least one divorce. Here are the young, old, fat, bald, healthy, ill, rich, and poor hoping that they can find true love, or at the very least, someone to call them Naughty Lola.
Employed in publishing? Me too. Stay the hell away. Man on the inside seeks woman on the outside who likes milling around hospitals guessing the illnesses of out-patients. 30-35. Leeds.
They Call Me Naughty Lola is a testament to the creativity and humor that can still be found among men and women longing for love and allergic to the concepts of Internet and speed dating. Here is an irresistible collection of the most brilliant and often absurd personal ads from the world's funniest-- and most erudite-- lonely-hearts column. The ads have been called "surreal haikus of the heart," and in an age of false advertising, the men and women who write them are hindered neither by high expectations nor by positivism of any kind. And yet, while hopes of finding a suitable mate remain low, the column has produced a handful of marriages, many friendships, and at least one divorce. Here are the young, old, fat, bald, healthy, ill, rich, and poor hoping that they can find true love, or at the very least, someone to call them Naughty Lola.
165 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2006
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 145 reviews
September 21, 2007
This is a perfect read for lonely English majors to read between actual books. It's a collection of personal ads from the London Review of Books. It would have been the funniest book I read all year if it weren't for the fact that I got one too many of the Star Trek references in the chapter about X-Files sub-plot character rejects, which, in all honesty, pretty much sums up why I was reading the book in the first place.
NC
NC
November 2, 2021
I would go on one (1) date with nearly all of these people. And wow them with my newfound and extremely extensive knowledge of Evel Knievel's many injuries.
Read
May 15, 2020The self-contempt of the English is a great aesthetic achievement, like the Taj Mahal. (But when did it start? I don’t see it in Shakespeare. Perhaps this emotional self-devouring began with the collapse of the British Empire…) The London Review of Books – in particular the enigmatic David Rose (who identifies himself only as “advertising director” of the magazine, who is “married and lives in London”) invented a new form, just before the millennium (October 1998): “lonely hearts” ads for intellectuals – or people who want to sleep with intellectuals. This (anonymous) literary structure may be the “modern haiku” I’ve been searching for. Most of them are pretty funny. (Opening at random:
The pressure exerted on your body if you tried to read this advert in the hadal regions of the ocean would be enough to turn you into a hideous slime-thing with brains dripping out of your ears. Publicity exec. (F, 28) seeks any type of happiness afforded by this cold, desolate planet before, without food, without hope, and with too many Nick Hornby book endorsements to collect, I fall asleep forever. Could be gay for the right woman. Box no. 5212.
(A note identifies the “hadal regions of the ocean” as “Deep sea trenches beginning 6000 metres below the surface of the sea and deeper than the abyssal regions (4000 to 6000 metres deep). An extreme environment in which animal life is scarce.” A second note identifies Nick Hornby as an “author.”)
Rose has edited these pleas into a novelistic sequence, with a true “arc:” starting with stirring hopefulness, rising into heights of near-literary mastery, and descending – right at the end – into almost audible whimpering. Here’s the third from the last:
Lacks imagination, talks too much, frequently absent. Look at me now, Miss Webster of Year 4. History professor, 56. Lacks imagination, talks too much and is frequently absent. Seeks woman. Box no. 8025.
And that whole era (the book is published 2006) is over. There are still a few personal ads in the London Review, but they are humorless, generic offers of companionship. I guess, like so much of Western culture, David Rose's solipsism-explosion was wrecked by the Internet.
The pressure exerted on your body if you tried to read this advert in the hadal regions of the ocean would be enough to turn you into a hideous slime-thing with brains dripping out of your ears. Publicity exec. (F, 28) seeks any type of happiness afforded by this cold, desolate planet before, without food, without hope, and with too many Nick Hornby book endorsements to collect, I fall asleep forever. Could be gay for the right woman. Box no. 5212.
(A note identifies the “hadal regions of the ocean” as “Deep sea trenches beginning 6000 metres below the surface of the sea and deeper than the abyssal regions (4000 to 6000 metres deep). An extreme environment in which animal life is scarce.” A second note identifies Nick Hornby as an “author.”)
Rose has edited these pleas into a novelistic sequence, with a true “arc:” starting with stirring hopefulness, rising into heights of near-literary mastery, and descending – right at the end – into almost audible whimpering. Here’s the third from the last:
Lacks imagination, talks too much, frequently absent. Look at me now, Miss Webster of Year 4. History professor, 56. Lacks imagination, talks too much and is frequently absent. Seeks woman. Box no. 8025.
And that whole era (the book is published 2006) is over. There are still a few personal ads in the London Review, but they are humorless, generic offers of companionship. I guess, like so much of Western culture, David Rose's solipsism-explosion was wrecked by the Internet.
May 5, 2009
One of the funniest books I've ever read. It's a strange thing to read - not like list books, or general ephemera, but really as a snap-shot of a very particular demographic of people. However you read it, it is genuinely hilarious - very literary, very bizarre, often dark but always very very funny. If you like Flann O'Brien's journalism, or Thomas Bernhard, you get a much better sense of where this book is coming from. Buy this book as a gift to cheer up a friend and you will instantly see the light appear... a very worthwhile volume indeed.
July 17, 2017
The source for the book are the best ads from the Personal Ads from the London Review of Books, and so comes with British wit and irascible humor. It is definitely a 'Best Of' type compilation publication. The book's title stems from chapter titles; others read "I've divorced better men than you", and "Must all the women in my life take the witness stand?"
I'd like to start off with the zinger I loved from here; the Brits, wow; they just tell it like it is...! "I'D LIKE TO DEDICATE THIS ADVERT TO MY MOTHER (difficult cow 65) who is responsible for me being single at 36. Man. 36. Single. Held at home by years of subtle emotional abuse and at least 19 fake heart attacks. Box # 6207" Is impossible not to fall in love with the unapologetic pitch and charm. We should hook him up with: "BLAH, BLAH, WHATEVER. indifferent woman. Go ahead and write Box #3253 Like I care." Or: "I'M NOT AFRAID TO SAY WHAT I FEEL. At this moment in time I feel anger, giddiness, and the urge to forage for berries at motorway hedgerows. Man. 38 Box #3632." This book has 150 pages full of these fun little lonely heart nuggets. Come, forage and find your favorite one! Let me know which one it is. I had a giggle reading this book, it does feature different humor than I/we are used to, makes it fun and uniquely interesting.
I'd like to start off with the zinger I loved from here; the Brits, wow; they just tell it like it is...! "I'D LIKE TO DEDICATE THIS ADVERT TO MY MOTHER (difficult cow 65) who is responsible for me being single at 36. Man. 36. Single. Held at home by years of subtle emotional abuse and at least 19 fake heart attacks. Box # 6207" Is impossible not to fall in love with the unapologetic pitch and charm. We should hook him up with: "BLAH, BLAH, WHATEVER. indifferent woman. Go ahead and write Box #3253 Like I care." Or: "I'M NOT AFRAID TO SAY WHAT I FEEL. At this moment in time I feel anger, giddiness, and the urge to forage for berries at motorway hedgerows. Man. 38 Box #3632." This book has 150 pages full of these fun little lonely heart nuggets. Come, forage and find your favorite one! Let me know which one it is. I had a giggle reading this book, it does feature different humor than I/we are used to, makes it fun and uniquely interesting.
April 11, 2007
this book is just down right hilarious. My personal favorite.
"Gynotikolobomassphile (M, 43) seeks neanimorphic F to 60 to share euneirophrenia. Must enjoy pissing off librarians (and be able to provide the correct term for same)."
"Gynotikolobomassphile (M, 43) seeks neanimorphic F to 60 to share euneirophrenia. Must enjoy pissing off librarians (and be able to provide the correct term for same)."
February 11, 2008
Sounds more funny than it is. A few great ones but not enough for even this slim little book.
April 3, 2017
A witty packet of bon-bons. The personal ads in the London Review of Books turns out to be a hotbed of quirky Brits trying to forge connections. Some are achingly sad, mentioning that they still live with their mum. Others are wonderfully wicked, such as the vixen who promises lurid sex followed by financial ruin for the adulterous scalawag. Many try to be clever, while some few genuinely succeed.
These are all but a few lines long, so one can dip in and out as time and inclination permits. As with "Best American Short Stories of 2016," it perfectly suited my limited concentration during convalescence from a hospital stay.
Delicious fun.
These are all but a few lines long, so one can dip in and out as time and inclination permits. As with "Best American Short Stories of 2016," it perfectly suited my limited concentration during convalescence from a hospital stay.
Delicious fun.
January 18, 2013
I have had this book on my TBR list for basically forever and finally remembered to add it to my wishlist for Christmas this year. Luke won all sorts of prizes for the books he gave this year and this one was included. It's a collection of personal ads from the London Review of Books, where the ads themselves are seen as a form of art as much as a solicitation of romance. For example:
I've divorced better men than you. And worn more expensive shoes than these. So don't think placing this ad is the biggest comedown I've ever had to make. Sensitive F, 34.
It's a collection of personal ads, so I won't review it the way I usually do. I'll just say that I read it on my plane trip to Chicago and it was the perfect plane book. I could pick it up and put it down between flights without any problems and it was laugh out loud entertaining. I think it's the perfect book for a nightstand, an airplane trip, something to read while the baby naps, standing in line, etc. If you get a chance, pick it up.
I've divorced better men than you. And worn more expensive shoes than these. So don't think placing this ad is the biggest comedown I've ever had to make. Sensitive F, 34.
It's a collection of personal ads, so I won't review it the way I usually do. I'll just say that I read it on my plane trip to Chicago and it was the perfect plane book. I could pick it up and put it down between flights without any problems and it was laugh out loud entertaining. I think it's the perfect book for a nightstand, an airplane trip, something to read while the baby naps, standing in line, etc. If you get a chance, pick it up.
February 13, 2012
"A girlfriend isn't a girlfriend unless she makes my mother cry with grief every time she visits. For two years now she's sat, contented, in front of the TV with not a care in the world. That's where you come in. Professional M, 38, seeks, heartless common slut with no small knowledge of sheltered-housing application procedures."
Perhaps 2.5 stars. Some of these were really quite amusing, and this would probably be a good book to keep on a shelf in a guest bedroom for desultory browsing. The cumulative effect, however, is of a collective trying-too-hard-to-be-funny - which then runs the risk of not being as funny as intended...The volume is also quite haphazardly put together - footnotes for some things one would already know but not for other things that were inexplicable to me. And, speaking of inexplicable - why on earth is there a chronology of Evel Knievel's jumps and injuries at the back???!!
Perhaps 2.5 stars. Some of these were really quite amusing, and this would probably be a good book to keep on a shelf in a guest bedroom for desultory browsing. The cumulative effect, however, is of a collective trying-too-hard-to-be-funny - which then runs the risk of not being as funny as intended...The volume is also quite haphazardly put together - footnotes for some things one would already know but not for other things that were inexplicable to me. And, speaking of inexplicable - why on earth is there a chronology of Evel Knievel's jumps and injuries at the back???!!
May 17, 2013
Tired of dating sites where liars and charlatans make ridiculous claims of perfection? Welcome to the bizarre world of the London Review of Books' personal ads, possibly the most surreal and brutally honest in the world:
"Beneath this hostile museum curator's exterior lies a hostile museum curator's interior. F, 38"
"Blah, blah, whatever. Indifferent woman. Go ahead and write. Box no. 3253. Like I care."
"List your ten favourite albums. I don't want to compare notes, I just want to know if there's anything worth keeping when we finally break up. Practical, forward-thinking man, 35."
"Employed in publishing? Me too. Stay the hell away. Man on the inside, seeks woman on the outside, who likes milling around hospitals guessing the illnesses of outpatients."
I used to subscribe to the LRB simply for the pleasure of this column. It's a glorious testament to naive realism and an antidote the preening dishonesty of internet dating.
"Beneath this hostile museum curator's exterior lies a hostile museum curator's interior. F, 38"
"Blah, blah, whatever. Indifferent woman. Go ahead and write. Box no. 3253. Like I care."
"List your ten favourite albums. I don't want to compare notes, I just want to know if there's anything worth keeping when we finally break up. Practical, forward-thinking man, 35."
"Employed in publishing? Me too. Stay the hell away. Man on the inside, seeks woman on the outside, who likes milling around hospitals guessing the illnesses of outpatients."
I used to subscribe to the LRB simply for the pleasure of this column. It's a glorious testament to naive realism and an antidote the preening dishonesty of internet dating.
May 17, 2009
This really isn't my type of humor or my type of book. It's a slim book but still too long in a way. How many personal ads can one read before wanting to puke?
Some of them were kind of funny- "My ideal woman is a man. Sorry mother."
Others were just plain stupid and still others tried so hard to be witty and funny and fell short. By a long shot.
It made me wonder, because with a lot of these ads you could really just tell so much thought went into them, what do these people do? Do they really have the time and inclination to sit around and try to make the *best* personal ad? I'd rather spend my time doing something more worthwhile personally but to each their own.
The author had a good idea- I'll give that, and while some people will appreciate the humor in it I missed it.
Some of them were kind of funny- "My ideal woman is a man. Sorry mother."
Others were just plain stupid and still others tried so hard to be witty and funny and fell short. By a long shot.
It made me wonder, because with a lot of these ads you could really just tell so much thought went into them, what do these people do? Do they really have the time and inclination to sit around and try to make the *best* personal ad? I'd rather spend my time doing something more worthwhile personally but to each their own.
The author had a good idea- I'll give that, and while some people will appreciate the humor in it I missed it.
January 6, 2012
I have just found my true love. Unfortunately, he lives in England and wrote a personal ad at least five years ago (and is thus probably now married).
"If John Sutherland were a soul disco diva, would he sing Barry White? Hopeful author of new OUP modern philosophy series (read my pilot, 'Who would win in a fight between Proust and Marvin Gaye?). Man, 37, WLTM woman to 40 who would be Wuthering Heights read by Rose Royce if she were a 19th-century novel given to a '70s supergroup."
I loved reading these. They'll probably appeal most to those familiar with a dry, somewhat self-deprecating English sense of humor.
"If John Sutherland were a soul disco diva, would he sing Barry White? Hopeful author of new OUP modern philosophy series (read my pilot, 'Who would win in a fight between Proust and Marvin Gaye?). Man, 37, WLTM woman to 40 who would be Wuthering Heights read by Rose Royce if she were a 19th-century novel given to a '70s supergroup."
I loved reading these. They'll probably appeal most to those familiar with a dry, somewhat self-deprecating English sense of humor.
July 16, 2013
If you're looking for a quick read & love British humor, this might be the book for you. It would be perfect to have on hand if you're waiting in line somewhere. It doesn't take much concentration to read & most entries are just a few lines each.
Quite a few of these were funny, so I found it an amusing volume overall. I also enjoyed some of the footnotes, especially the ones about Herve Jean-Pierre Villechaize ("de plane, de plane"), Yoda ('Jedi Master'), and the extensive appendix of Evel Knievel's jumps & injuries.
2.5 stars. I would give it a little more, but it just doesn't really even qualify as much of a 'book', imo -- more of a lengthy list.
Quite a few of these were funny, so I found it an amusing volume overall. I also enjoyed some of the footnotes, especially the ones about Herve Jean-Pierre Villechaize ("de plane, de plane"), Yoda ('Jedi Master'), and the extensive appendix of Evel Knievel's jumps & injuries.
2.5 stars. I would give it a little more, but it just doesn't really even qualify as much of a 'book', imo -- more of a lengthy list.
February 22, 2010
I'm not sure what I expected this to be, but it was just bare personal ads. Somehow I thought there would be more context - interviews with people, or stories of people who met that way. But, no.
There were some annotations, but they were clearly not aimed at me - for example they explained what Doritos were but left some (primarily British, I think) things obscure.
It would have been fun to read these to someone else, but as a book to pick up and read? It was sort of....just...weird and not that interesting.
There were some annotations, but they were clearly not aimed at me - for example they explained what Doritos were but left some (primarily British, I think) things obscure.
It would have been fun to read these to someone else, but as a book to pick up and read? It was sort of....just...weird and not that interesting.
November 26, 2010
This book takes pride of place as my favourite toilet read, next to Letterbox by Viz. A quintessential selection of British humour, intelligence and wit, combined with quiet desperation and understated sexual frenzy, you just know that more than half these submissions are written to entertain instead of attract a mate. Let’s face it, if you were as half as funny as these personal ads are, you wouldn’t be crying yourself to sleep every night in your lonely bed-sit or mansion. Buy it, and find your heart warmed by the human condition.
December 11, 2008
Everybody should read this compilation of personal ads from the London Review of Books. Hell, everybody should own it - we all need a good laugh now and then. (By the way, I debated whether to categorize this as "fluff" - it certainly is quick and light reading, but then again it does give a view into the soul - souls - and you could think about it for quite a while if you wanted to. IF you wanted to ...)
March 2, 2009
You: a small book of overly literate personal ads, absolutely hilarious in their sheer dryness (titular example: "They call me naughty Lola. Typical beardy physicist.) My friends love you and want us to stay together always. All those that glance at you are overcome with appreciative laughter; you're popular, and good-looking to boot.
Me: impressed.
Me: impressed.
February 6, 2010
Personal ads from the London Review of Books written by witty, depressed and extremely odd Brits; about 80% of them seem to be cross-dressing history lecturers with severe mother issues. The perfect nightstand book, except that it's impossible to stop reading and go to sleep. I also loved the new sequel, "Sexually, I'm More of Switzerland."
April 1, 2012
Truly hilarious. I love British humor, especially self-effacing intellectual British humor. Win.
November 10, 2022
This is a little book to keep in the car or by the breakfast table.....short and no story line to keep track of when you have time lapses in reading it. It is a collection of personal ads from the London Review of Books.....and it is quite humorous. Written by well-read and witty people, these ads are tongue-in-cheek and keep you on your toes figuring out some of the literary allusions. Some are downright insane and will cause you to laugh out loud. One of my many favorites is: "My favorite woman is a man. Sorry, Mother". Great fun indeed.
August 20, 2017
Much the same sort of thing as its sequel (Sexually, I'm More of a Switzerland), which I happened to read first.
Light-hearted silliness for literate/literary intellectuals and wannabes. Some bizarre, some poignant, others knowingly snarky. As with the sequel, there’s a random appendix: this time, a run-down of the career of Evel Knievel (presumably ‘because’ one of the ads made passing reference to him).
Light-hearted silliness for literate/literary intellectuals and wannabes. Some bizarre, some poignant, others knowingly snarky. As with the sequel, there’s a random appendix: this time, a run-down of the career of Evel Knievel (presumably ‘because’ one of the ads made passing reference to him).
February 6, 2017
Papa was a lecturer in Renaissance studies.
I read this book straight through which was kind of surreal. It would probably go down better in batches, maybe read out loud at the kind of parties I went to in college. Heh. Perhaps a testament to the agony of not being able to take oneself seriously?
I read this book straight through which was kind of surreal. It would probably go down better in batches, maybe read out loud at the kind of parties I went to in college. Heh. Perhaps a testament to the agony of not being able to take oneself seriously?
February 15, 2018
12 year-old-book seeks reader for British references without footnotes or explanations. Filled with want ads from lonely hearts who read the London Review of Books. Is willing overlook that you might be reading other books at the same time. No hard feelings will be had if this is a short relationship. Respond to Box 245 at Never-Never Land.
March 18, 2018
This was a book of personal ads from the London Book Review. I have to say they were the weirdest personal ads that I have ever seen. Are a lot of ads like this???? So strange.
I kept reading this book like it was a bad accident that I couldn't look away from, but OMG, it was truly awful. If anyone actually answers these ads, and I'm sure many do, be careful!!!!!
I kept reading this book like it was a bad accident that I couldn't look away from, but OMG, it was truly awful. If anyone actually answers these ads, and I'm sure many do, be careful!!!!!
August 16, 2017
Fast and frothy, stuffed with British humo(u)r and cultural references from the late 90s and early 2000s. This collection of personal ads from the London Review of Books makes for a fun read, but it would be better to just pick it up and read a handful at a time than read straight through.
Read
January 12, 2019At first it was funny then it was just painful.
March 8, 2019
A gem. Regardless of how you feel about people or the subject of love, this book has all the feels. It’s deeply humorous and revelatory. Not recommended for use with hot drinks.
July 20, 2019
Cheeky and a little bit depressing. Good for some laughs.
And then inexplicably ends with a chronology of Evel Knieval jumps and injuries. Because, why not.
And then inexplicably ends with a chronology of Evel Knieval jumps and injuries. Because, why not.
October 30, 2020
It is a very dry quick read of personal ads. It is a perfect book to add humor into your life and see how strange the world is. I will keep it around and re-read the really funny ads.
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