My Dear Boy: Gay Love Letters Through the Centuries

by Rictor Norton (Editor)

Dear Boy is an anthology of gay love letters between illustrious men for almost 2,000 years. Correspondents include Marcus Aurelius, St. Anselm, Erasmus, Calvacanti, Michelangelo, Sir Phillip Sydney, King James I & VI, Thomas Gray, von Kleist, Byron, Hans Christian Andersen, Melville, Whitman, Tchaikovsky, Wilde, Henry James, Frederick Wm Rolfe, Wilfred Owen, Hart Crane, T. E. Lawrence, Cocteau, Auden, Pasolini, Allen Ginsberg, Wm Burroughs, among others.

Genres: Nonfiction, LGBT, Queer, History, Historical, Gay, Cultural

288 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1998

Reviews

[charlotte, · Rating 3 out of 5]

a good enough primer, but i really could have done without knowing beethoven and tchaikovsky were (by this author's interpretation) in love with their nephews

[Ryn McAtee · Rating 2 out of 5]

Interesting subject, but overall quite dry. I didn't care much for the editor either; he gave the impression of being quite sexist and biphobic, and I found it unnerving that the large majority of the subjects in the book were white men from Western Europe (or the U.S.). I certainly think same-sex relations existed between more than five notable men of color.

[Eric · Rating 3 out of 5]

An interesting read, wide in its historical scope though decidedly and regrettably lacking in content from brown or black gay men.

[Julia Andrade · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book... Was hard to read. Not because it's sad or horrible, but because it's Real. Real letters, real lovers, real love stories. I believe I cried a few times and if I ever read it again, I'm sure I'm gonna cry again. It's a good book if you want to get to know a little bit more about homosexuality through the centuries, really.

Not a subject much covered in the gay literature press and certainly a worthy example to have at hand.

I was suprised at who was romancing who. The stuffy world of high-brow Literature has a long standing propensity to cover up references to an author's homosexuality. This book does it's best to unpick that homophobic and re-closeting propensity.The author lists his sources which legitimises many of his 'exposes'. The charge of gossip mongering which the old school Literary homophobe may well place on this book is beaten back by the fact that the sources are all already existent published works of biographical literature. This book just brings together a broad range on intimate and highly romantic expression of sentiment in one compendium.

Perhaps the biggest suprise here is that we seem to have lost access to an entire language of romance which very obviously was once common place as well as the art of letter writing with the arrival of email and SMS texts.

[ra]

In a letter from Allen Ginsberg to Peter Orlovsky which perfectly sums up the effect this anthology had on me:

"I had been running around with mad mean poets and world-eaters here and was longing for kind words from heaven which you wrote, came as fresh as a summer breeze and "when I think on thee dear friend / all losses are restored and sorrows end," came over and over in mind - it's the end of a Shakespeare Sonnet - he must have been happy in love too. I had never realised that before..."

[Ian · Rating 4 out of 5]

this is a really neat book with a really silly cover. it is a collection of love letters from gay couples throughout history. its quite lovely and really interesting/ affirming. most of them are loving and beautiful, some erotic, and its a cool introduction to some prominent figures in history who had some sort of gay relationships.

[Snoozygirlie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was just as interesting as it was funny, surprising and very often very sad.

I love that every writer as well as the recipient got an introduction at the beginning of each chapter because it managed to give the letters so much more impact when you had the background to take into account.

Many letters were full of longing, affection, heartache, lust and love, many times you could tell that the writer was hoping for something that could never become real, and a few managed to find love while young that they could never again experience later in life.
It made this book a heartbreaking experience to read occasionally but it also taught me a lot about human nature, love, passion and how easily it can slip through the fingers of someone who doesn't appreciate what they have until they have lost it.

This book also made me curious about the people behind the letters, their lives, their relationships etc.
Some - like Byron, Wilde, Ginsberg and Tjajkovskij are easy enough to read about in books or online, while others are more or less unknown and difficult to trace. I wish there was more to read about these men and what happened to them later in life.

But considering the fact that homosexuality was a crime for a long period of time and a lot of letters were destroyed, either by family members, friends or those who had written the letters in the first place, out of fear for their reputation, it is amazing that at least these letters have survived for us to read and enjoy.

While a few letters felt a bit pedophilic in their content and some were downright boring, I was very moved by several of the letters and the stories behind them.

A couple that really grabbed me were the letters from Erasmus to a fellow monk, Servatius, who never reciprocated the writer's feelings, Tjajkovskijs longing letters to his nephew "Bob" and the exchange between Colin Spencer and John Tasker that ends abruptly with Spencer marrying a woman.
Later in life Spencer admitted that he was young and foolish and thought he had plenty of time to find love as strong as the one he had with Tasker, but he never did.

This is a lesson for everyone to think about, when you have found love - nurture it and be careful not to throw it away, because you might never find anything like it again.

I will probably reread this book in the future, especially the letters that really moved me. A thought that stuck with me when I had finished was that the art of writing love letters and expressing emotions in writing is more or less extinct these days, so we are lucky to have these to read and dream about a time when a letter could mean everything to someone.

[Sam Z · Rating 3 out of 5]

Touching and at times genuinely moving, nice romantic collection of historical documents.

[Joseph Pease · Rating 3 out of 5]

Lovely and beautiful letters, but somehow a tad dry? Idk.

[Heidi Bakk-Hansen · Rating 4 out of 5]

A super rare book, but I'm going to turn it loose in the world. Lovely letters. Very passionate.

[Eras. · Rating 5 out of 5]

My favourite queer book so far.

[Christoffer · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book examines gay love letters throughout history. The subject is interesting, but somewhat monotonous. Altogether a interesting piece of work - and a importan one as well...