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The Wisdom to Know the Difference: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Workbook for Overcoming Substance Abuse
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I can’t change, The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference. Maybe you’ve just started on the road to recovering from addiction. Or you’ve tried to stop abusing alcohol or drugs before, but haven’t been successful. Perhaps you’re making progress in a support group or 12-step program, but want to add an approach grounded in science. No matter how far you’ve come, how far you still have left to go, or which path you’ve chosen, this book can help you end your struggle with addiction. The Wisdom to Know the Difference is an addiction recovery workbook based in acceptance and commitment therapy, or ACT. Research shows that ACT is a powerful treatment for alcoholism, drug addiction, depression, and other issues, and it can be used alone or in combination with any 12-step program. On this particular path, you’ll learn to accept what you can’t change about yourself and your past and commit to changing the things you can. You’ll overcome your addiction by focusing on what you value most, like your talents, friends, career, relationships, and family. There’s no need to wait any longer. This book will help you find the serenity, courage, and wisdom it takes to leave substance abuse behind for good. This book has been awarded The Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies Self-Help Seal of Merit — an award bestowed on outstanding self-help books that are consistent with cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) principles and that incorporate scientifically tested strategies for overcoming mental health difficulties. Used alone or in conjunction with therapy, our books offer powerful tools readers can use to jump-start changes in their lives.
184 pages, Paperback
First published August 1, 2011
42 people are currently reading
193 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews
July 24, 2013
This is a truly lovely book. I just loved it. This book has soul and brains. It reaches in to you and grabs you by the heart. Can't say enough about it. I am not a big fan of AA and the likes. I'm tiered of how 12 step owns recovery in America. I'm sick of walking on egg shells around AA people in order not to offend any of their "our way is the only way" dogma. I'm sick of the smirks I get from 12 steppers when I say I used to use, but now I don't. I'm recovered. One of my "heretical" views is that people are not defined by their addictions, and after a certain point, some people are finished with the recovery process, and can move on. You may not need to go to AA forever. That being said, there is much to love about AA, and this book really captures the gold in the 12 step tradition. I'm a giant ACT nerd. ACT has changed my life. This book deftly reframes 12 step from an ACT perspective in a minimally offensive, maximally effective way. Bravo!
May 21, 2012
Some books just speak to you. Some books are written in such a way that you feel the author is your buddy chatting with you in your living room. Kelly Wilson is that buddy, and his humble but heartfelt words are recorded in this book.
I don’t want to sound cheesy or philosophical, but this is such a relief after reading 2 other therapy books where I felt I was being lectured. This book is not telling you what is right. It’s not telling you what will work, or even how to do it. It is much like AA – "this is what worked for us, come and see. Use what you can, and forget the rest."
That is what makes this book so refreshing. The author doesn’t assume to have a monopoly on knowledge about addiction rehabilitation and recovery. He did it, he’s helped others do it, and he wants to share what worked for them.
Kelly Wilson was one of the developers of ACT therapy – and this is a workbook for substance abusers to use to guide them toward recovery.
Here are some of my favorite quotes:
"Just because behavior is understandable does not make it good or acceptable."
Humility does not mean humiliation. It is the dignified choice to willingly forgo status to offer resources for the good of others. - John Dickson
"Lots of things make us feel better that do not make us do better."
“Many people live their lives by circumstance rather than on purpose.”
“Values are intrinsically rewarding.”
“That year, life got a very firm grip on my ears, and jerked my head out of my ass. And you know what? Once you get the feces wiped from your eyes, you can see a lot of things.”
I don’t want to sound cheesy or philosophical, but this is such a relief after reading 2 other therapy books where I felt I was being lectured. This book is not telling you what is right. It’s not telling you what will work, or even how to do it. It is much like AA – "this is what worked for us, come and see. Use what you can, and forget the rest."
That is what makes this book so refreshing. The author doesn’t assume to have a monopoly on knowledge about addiction rehabilitation and recovery. He did it, he’s helped others do it, and he wants to share what worked for them.
Kelly Wilson was one of the developers of ACT therapy – and this is a workbook for substance abusers to use to guide them toward recovery.
Here are some of my favorite quotes:
"Just because behavior is understandable does not make it good or acceptable."
Humility does not mean humiliation. It is the dignified choice to willingly forgo status to offer resources for the good of others. - John Dickson
"Lots of things make us feel better that do not make us do better."
“Many people live their lives by circumstance rather than on purpose.”
“Values are intrinsically rewarding.”
“That year, life got a very firm grip on my ears, and jerked my head out of my ass. And you know what? Once you get the feces wiped from your eyes, you can see a lot of things.”
August 22, 2021
I am struggling between ratings this a 4 or a 5 star book.
Here are my thoughts on what I appreciated about this book:
I like Kelly Wilson's writing style in general. Mindful, gentle. His own history with substance abuse and addiction makes him the ideal author of this book - he knows the dark places addiction can lead you to. And he is one of those who managed to leave those dark places and choose life instead.
I have read several books on ACT so far. I appreciated that every author has a unique way of delivering the different parts of the hexaflex model. Whenever I read a new book on ACT, it's like looking at known object from a different angle. I recognize things that are familiar and sometimes I might also spot something new.
The book contains several exercises, the majority of them meditation-oriented (at least, that was my impression - I didn't count). As the title says, this is a "work" book.
Why did I rate it 4 stars?
I think that, for a self-help book, some things could have been spelled out more explicitely. The exercises could have been more "hands on" in the sense of asking you to follow your commitment and then checking back in afterwards (for example). However, I assume that for a certain type of reader this will be a 5 star book. Maybe for those who don't want or don't need to be taken by the hand but rather want to make their own connections and transfer what they have read into their own day to day lives.
A final remark:
I work as an addiction counselor and therapist and find that this group also benefits from the book. You can easily adapt the content of the book to the flow of several counseling sessions. Or you could even ask the client to read the book and discuss and practice the content together with you in session.
If you are new to ACT, I would suggest a general introductory textbook in addition (e.g. ACT made simple, by Russ Harris).
Here are my thoughts on what I appreciated about this book:
I like Kelly Wilson's writing style in general. Mindful, gentle. His own history with substance abuse and addiction makes him the ideal author of this book - he knows the dark places addiction can lead you to. And he is one of those who managed to leave those dark places and choose life instead.
I have read several books on ACT so far. I appreciated that every author has a unique way of delivering the different parts of the hexaflex model. Whenever I read a new book on ACT, it's like looking at known object from a different angle. I recognize things that are familiar and sometimes I might also spot something new.
The book contains several exercises, the majority of them meditation-oriented (at least, that was my impression - I didn't count). As the title says, this is a "work" book.
Why did I rate it 4 stars?
I think that, for a self-help book, some things could have been spelled out more explicitely. The exercises could have been more "hands on" in the sense of asking you to follow your commitment and then checking back in afterwards (for example). However, I assume that for a certain type of reader this will be a 5 star book. Maybe for those who don't want or don't need to be taken by the hand but rather want to make their own connections and transfer what they have read into their own day to day lives.
A final remark:
I work as an addiction counselor and therapist and find that this group also benefits from the book. You can easily adapt the content of the book to the flow of several counseling sessions. Or you could even ask the client to read the book and discuss and practice the content together with you in session.
If you are new to ACT, I would suggest a general introductory textbook in addition (e.g. ACT made simple, by Russ Harris).
July 9, 2020
The Wisdom to Know the Difference applies ACT to substance abuse, though the authors write about ACT in a general enough way you can apply it to any struggle. The title of the first chapter (Many Paths to Recovery, but Only One for You) sums up the authors' view on recovery. Not prescriptive, but unique to the person. That's the essence of ACT, identifying and pursuing your own values leading you to a more meaningful and purposeful life. They further discuss focusing on the present moment, opening up to broaden one's perspective to the whole range of human experience (the sweet and sad), and becoming the author of your own story with commitment and kindness. The book also has sections relating ACT to be used with the popular 12 step model, and the afterword explains the rationale and some struggles for those who may not like AA's philosophy (e.g. atheists or anyone who isn't a white guy). My only critique is I wish this talked more specifically about the nature of substance abuse/addiction. Unlike some of the academic therapy books, I enjoyed the conversational and honest writing which sounds more like the therapist is talking to you. This quote sums up the book and the ACT approach:
“In this very moment, will you accept the sad and the sweet, hold lightly the stories about what’s possible, and be the author of a life that has meaning and purpose for you, turning in kindness back to that life when you find yourself moving away from it?”
“In this very moment, will you accept the sad and the sweet, hold lightly the stories about what’s possible, and be the author of a life that has meaning and purpose for you, turning in kindness back to that life when you find yourself moving away from it?”
May 19, 2024
I'll give this book two stars for its chapter on self-esteem. I found no benefit and saw no clear path, just a collection of thoughts and techniques. I'm really tired of this type of book, and the addiction field seems full of them.
Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews