Facing Violence: Preparing for the Unexpected

by Rory Miller

Survival Favors the Prepared Mind ―Robert Crowley eLit Award GOLD WINNER - 2012 USA Best Books Award FINALIST - 2012 Eric Hoffer Award HONORABLE MENTION - 2012 This book stands alone as an introduction to the context of self-defense. There are seven elements that must be addressed to bring self-defense training to something approaching ‘complete.’ Any training that dismisses any of these areas leaves you vulnerable. Any teacher or student of self-defense, anyone interested in self-defense, and any person who desires a deeper understanding of violence needs to read this book. We strongly recommend this book to anybody wishing to learn self-defense, or understand how to stay safe should violence rear it's ugly head

Genres: Nonfiction, Martial Arts, Psychology, Self Help, Survival, War, Military Fiction

242 pages, Paperback

First published May 1, 2011

About the author

Sergeant Rory Miller is a corrections officer, a martial artist, and an instructor in both of those areas.


Librarian Note: There is more than one author in the GoodReads database with this name. See this thread for more information.

Reviews

[Anete · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesanta grāmata ļoti plašai audoitorijai. Autors runā par ļoti daudziem vardarbības aspektiem. Viņš iedod jautājumus, kas jāuzdod sev pašam, jāizport savu attieksmi un spējas, saskaroties ar vardarbību. Šeit ir paņēmieni kā izvairīties no konflikta saasināšanas, kā palikt dzīvam vardarbības priekšā, emocionālās sekas pēc vardarbības un ko darīt, lai nekļūtu par vienu no pašnāvnieku statistikas, ja esi izdzīvojis. Šī grāmata noder noteikti visiem, kas vēlas apgūt pašaizsardzības kursus, strādāt likumaizsardzības nozarē vai nodarbojas ar cīņas mākslām. Kā arī paver plašāku redzesloku par policistu, cietumsargu, militārpersonu un arī bandu locieļu dzīvi, kā arī liek apsvērt noziedzinieku un maniaku domāšanu cilvēkajam parastajam, kas tomēr vēlas būt Izdzīvotājs.

[Kater Cheek · Rating 3 out of 5]

I can't say this book was notably different in quality than MEDITATIONS ON VIOLENCE, which I gave 5 stars, but I didn't like this one as much. This book covers a lot of the same material as MEDITATIONS ON VIOLENCE, except that it has a brief overview of force law. The information wasn't better the second time around.

I can sum up the content of this book in one sentence "If you think you're good in a fight, you're a dumbass who is going to get himself killed." Basically, training in a dojo is not the same as actually hitting people. Also, you won't be able to think and do difficult things when you're afraid and surprised, such as when you're hit in the face.

He's got some valid points. The main point is that real fighting is different from simulated fighting, and that you only get good at real fighting by fighting, which will land you in jail unless you're a cop. In the section about force law, he points out that even if you're in the right (legally) you can still be hit with a civil lawsuit for pain and suffering by the survivors of the crackhead rapist you shot after he broke into your house.

This book has some more in-depth information about different types of fights/assaults, and how to determine if it's one or the other. For example, is it a "Monkey Dance", ie. fight between two men for status that is designed to be non-lethal, or a "predatory assault", ie. someone wants to take something from you and sees you as a resource rather than a person. Some of the situations, such as an "educational beat down" are culturally foreign to middle class people.

Miller tries to give some advice as to how to deal with some of these non-middle-class-American situations (ie. if you are a woman in a men-only location, or if you are a man and a woman approaches you) but he kind of glosses it over and while he implies that he's talking about foreign countries, he doesn't say which one. This annoyed me. I find it more frustrating to have incomplete, hazy information than to have that information not included at all.

At least half of this information was either not-useful or demotivational to me. I have never been in a bar fight in my life, and expect it will never happen, so I don't think I need coaching on de-escalating the pre-fight warm-up. According to Miller, unless you're in some testosterone-laden hardcore dojo where people jump out and whack you in the face when you're not expecting it, you can't train in any useful way. Also the criminals you fight are going to be soulless killers, whereas you are going to have serious hangups about hurting someone else, especially when that someone else is a filthy AIDS-ridden meth addict covered in blood and puke. After a while, it was kind of like "yeah, yeah, I get it, Miller. No one is as badass as you."

The first book was peppered with fascinating anecdotes from Miller's career fighting bad guys. This one has a little of the psychological aftermath of spending your whole time with the dregs of human society, but it doesn't have as many cool stories.

If you're a woman who wants to keep herself safe, this book basically says "your attacker will be bigger than you, stronger than you, have no moral qualms about hurting you, and will strike unexpectedly in a situation of his choosing, probably with reinforcements." Considering how much Miller went on about how fighting is a mental game as much as a physical one, it would have been nice to have some courageous "against all odds" stories instead of the equivalent of a cloaked skeleton pointing a bony hand and shouting "doom! doom!" I would rather read a book called "How to Fight Cancer by Eating Fruit!" rather than a book called "The Myth of Cancer Survival: Why Everyone You Know and Love Will Eventually Die." Both are true, but reading the latter will not help you.

I guess I'd recommend this book for frat boys with a black belt in tae kwon do who think that it's fun to pick bar fights. I don't recommend it for women. For women, I'd recommend Gavin De Becker's THE GIFT OF FEAR and Miller's other book MEDITATIONS ON VIOLENCE.

[Zak · Rating 5 out of 5]

An excellent, comprehensive book on PREPARING YOURSELF for facing unexpected violence. If you are looking for an encyclopedia of techniques on different ways to beat up people, this IS NOT the book for you. In fact, there are only a few techniques discussed in this book. As Miller makes clear, getting out of a situation unhurt is the ultimate objective. Use of proportionate force should only be a last resort and only for very good reasons (saving "face" is not a good reason).

I have always avoided martial arts instructors with hyped-up macho attitudes who only focus on the deadliness of their techniques. Miller, on the other hand, urges you to work out your personal and ethical issues before you actually face a violent confrontation so that you will not be frozen and unable to act when it actually happens, or be drawn into a stupid, unnecessary fight where life and limb are at risk. Throughout the book, there is a lot of focus and sensible advice on de-escalation, which is why it resonates with me. As the writer puts it, there is nothing more inferior than being dead.

Final rating: 4.5 There are some structural issues with how the information is presented but I'll still round it up to 5.0 because of the importance of the content.

[Marc · Rating 4 out of 5]

The mission of this sobering and thoughtful book is straightforward: to prepare the reader for every aspect of a possible violent encounter. The book contains lots of graphic examples of violent situations (many from the author's long personal experience as a corrections officer) and a great deal of very practical advice. Like any good book on violence, its clear, overriding message is that the best approach to violence is to avoid it; in fact, the "Avoidance" chapter is the longest chapter in the book.

The book's seven chapters cover what the author puts forth as the seven elements of effective self-defense:

(1) Legal and ethical concerns, including a blunt and detailed discussion of the challenges you'll face in building an effective criminal and civil defense should you be charged with assault (or worse).
(2) How violent encounters develop: the author breaks it down into social violence (used to establish dominance, show off, or teach a lesson) and asocial violence (predatory attacks).
(3) Avoidance: the author walks through techniques for implementing various avoidance strategies: absence (staying away from places where violence is most likely to occur), escape and evasion, and de-escalation.
(4) What to do in the first moment after you realize you are being attacked; this is the only chapter that contains some actual self-defense techniques.
(5) An analysis of the freeze, the tendency most people have to freeze up (both physically and mentally) in the early stages of a violent encounter, with tips on how to break a freeze.
(6) The fight itself.
(7) The aftermath: medical (first aid), legal (including tips on how to behave, what to say, and what not to say, when the cops arrive), and emotional.

This book does not aim to teach anyone how to fight, but it contains information and detailed advice that is essential reading for anyone studying martial arts or self-defense (but which is rarely covered in martial arts or self defense classes). The book also includes an extensive bibliography. Highly recommended.

[Jolis · Rating 4 out of 5]

Grāmata, ko pārlasīt ik pēc dažiem gadiem.

Varētu patikt tiem, kam interesanta pašaizsardzības tēma. Autors ne tik daudz koncentrējas uz cīņas paņēmieniem, cik māca atpazīt bīstamas situācijas, cilvēkus un to, kā sākumā no tām izkļūt mierīgi.

[Sunflower · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the VERY BEST books on self-defense EVER! Rory tells it as it is...upfront and in your face. You will be surprised as to what you can learn from this book that might save your life.

[Ryan · Rating 5 out of 5]

A great book on self defense by Rory Miller. The key point here is that the "fight" itself isn't the only part -- there's a lot of pre-fight preparation, escalation, and then post-fight response as well. The one area where I'm not totally sold is the trying to distinguish the types of attackers ("Monkey Dance" vs. "Social Monkey Dance" vs. more transactional/resource predators, "process predators", etc.). I like to keep things simple, especially for someone for whom violence isn't a primary occupation, and while I agree there are different escalation components, I'd rather just have instinctive response to specific pre-designated lines in the sand.

[Chinchilla · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is quite an eye-opening book, especially for readers like me, who never really thought much about violence from the first person perspective. It's also alarmingly unsettling to imagine how I would react (or rather, the lack of reactions) to any of the scenarios mentioned in this book. It gives me chills and lots to think about in terms of where to place myself to avoid becoming part of the engagement.

I would recommend this book to all women in particular. A 3.5 star book for me.

[TΞΞL❍CK Mith!lesh · Rating 5 out of 5]

Miller once again uses his expertise to promote public preparedness. This handbook instills life-changing knowledge that can stave off future assaults. Security professionals apply this information to always be on guard for potential hazards. At its core, this manual does an exceptional job portraying the personal prosperity of being able to combat the unknown.

[Goran Powell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Real-world wisdom for the martial artist

Among the many martial arts books on offer, precious few are written by experts on the real world of violence – a world that’s very different from the dojo environment. Rory Miller is one such author. He established his credentials in blistering form with the outstanding ‘Meditations on Violence’. Now, in ‘Facing Violence’, he delivers more of the same calm, considered advice in a highly readable and engaging way (and with a touch of deadpan humour that makes his writing all the more readable). If you rate self-protection authors such as Marc MacYoung, Kane & Wilder and Geoff Thompson, Rory Miller is a new voice with a valuable perspective to add, and he sits very naturally in this company.

Having said this, I opened my copy of ‘Facing Violence’ with some trepidation, not because I expected little from it, but rather the opposite. I’d found Rory Miller’s first book ‘Meditations on Violence’ so good that I had doubts whether he could reproduce such a feat without retreading old ground (as so many books seem to do). I’m happy to say my fears were groundless. ‘Facing Violence’ covers plenty of important new ground. In particular it gives detailed and sound advice on preparing yourself for violent encounters, not just physically but emotionally and ethically, with considerable thought given to the tricky question for the martial artist: when to fight and when to walk away.

Read this book, add Rory Miller’s knowledge to your own, and keep it on your bookshelf next to your other important reality-based martial arts guides.

[Susan Peterson · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you teach martial arts or self defense, especially if you teach young men, you must read this book. It covers the dynamics of violence, both violence perpetrated by social predators and violence that stems from social posturing and dominance behavior (the "monkey dance").
As an author, I have a lot of respect for Sgt. Miller's writing abilities. The book is nicely structured and tightly written. The style matches the content perfectly--clear, straightforward, no-nonsense. As a martial artist who hasn't been in the trenches, I am grateful for his insights and examples. Sgt. Miller, as a protector of society, has seen it all. Because he has seen it all and has thoroughly processed it for himself, he is able to describe it to us members of society who sincerely hope we never see any of it. I have read a several books of its kind, and this one is hands-down the best. He has written an emergency book--what do do when faced with real-world violence--that will undoubtedly save lives.
As an aside, I have a request for his next book: facing domestic violence. This book addresses predator violence and dominance behavior violence. It's outstanding in the way it addresses the kind of violence men (and some women) face. Next, I'd like to see Miller's take on male-female violence, particularly between intimates.

Susan Lynn Peterson, author of
Western Herbs for Martial Artists and Contact Athletes and
Legends of the Martial Arts Masters

[Nathaniel Cooke · Rating 5 out of 5]

Incredibly insightful and well written; laud out in a very clear way Facing Violence takes you through the psychology of aggression and proposes some very effective ways of managing.

Author Rory Miller's obvious and extensive experience in this field speaks through the pages of his book and gives the author an in-depth insight into his field whilst ensuring the book is accessible to the every-man - not an easy thing to do when discussing a topic most people will (thankfully) have very little experience of.

I recommend this book to practitioners who encounter violence and aggression on a daily basis and the average Joe with a passing interest in personal safety, how aggression works, why it's interwoven into our society, what works against it and an ability to assess situations to establish when to deescalate with communication and when it's necessary to escalate.

If I'd read this book two years ago, I might not have bothered to write mine!

[Mark · Rating 2 out of 5]

After months of being on my "reading bookshelf" I have moved Miller's book back to "to read." I cannot seem to finish this book. The book has it's moments, but the content, in my opinion, is too dry. He addresses nearly everything a person will face and experience in a violent situation. Even so, as he himself says in his book, a book cannot prepare you. Similarly, reading a car manual will not completely equip you to drive a car. The book shares Miller's experiences and illustrates his techniques - you have to gain your own experience and develop your own techniques in order for the information presented to be fully comprehended.

[Kimberly Gallagher · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is great for everyone. It brings up excellent psychological and physical aspects of self defense, how to use situational awareness to keep you out of dangerous situations in the first place, when and how to de-escalate building situations, when to run, and what to do if you must stand and defend yourself, and the possible legal repercussions of going to far. It deals with mental, emotional, and physical effects of violence, fear, and adrenaline rush. Excellent and very comprehensive!

[Timothy Nichols · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a number of other readers have noted, there's a lot of overlap between this book and Miller's first offering, _Meditations on Violence_. Reading both of them won't kill you, but if you're going to read one, read this one. With the benefit of additional time to reflect and additional years of teaching and practice under his belt, Miller returns to the same basic subject matter with a stronger presentation.

[Greg · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a very good book overall, but chapter 4 (the chapter on avoidance) is absolute must read material for any man who wants to diffuse or deal with what the author calls the "monkey dance" of male on male predatory violence.

[Aaron · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the second of Miller's books that I've read. This one has a bit of "how-to" feel at times. Worth reading, especially since my work brings me into contact with some unsavoury characters.

[Kirstie · Rating 4 out of 5]

A thorough book which gives practical advice on how to prepare yourself for facing violence, everything from legal, to mental, to ethical.

You won't find specific fancy ninja CIA moves in here, Miller deals primarily with identifying situations and how to get out of them without physical conflict. There is a significant amount of personal anecdotes which show how he himself has de-escalated certain situations, or read their coming and hoofed it out of there before it became inescapable(always a wise course of action). If that last bit of the previous sentence made you think 'what a coward' you NEED to read this book because one of its primary lessons is looking cool/saving face is nothing if you're dead and do you really know you're going to win this fight? Or what if you win this fight, kill the other guy by accident and end up in jail? Or permanently disable him and are paying his medical bills thanks to a civil case for the rest of your life? Worth it to have not let someone call you a 'pussy' and get away with it. Totes. /rant ;p

One small downside to the book however was Miller sometimes assumed you had certain knowledge, eg/ early on he mentioned the 'monkey dance' and continued on with no explanation of *what* that actually was. Fortunately for me I'd recently read about the monkey dance so knew what he meant, but there were a couple of other things I had to pause the audiobook for and look up. That's far from enough to ruin the book though.

If you have any expectation you will face violence in your life or want to plan how to avoid it, this is a book for you. Also a handy tool for writers whose characters are going to face violence.

[Charles Haywood]

While “Facing Violence” is an interesting book, it seems to me its practical usefulness is limited. It will probably help, to some extent, in “Preparing For the Unexpected.” But the reader shouldn’t get overconfident as a result. It’s like being an armchair general—there is nothing inherently wrong with analyzing things from the comfort of your chair, but it’s not the same thing as, and does not prepare you for, actually being a general. Same here. Moreover, the book is dated by its complete omission of the defensive use of firearms, in these days of widespread citizen carry.

The book is not of NO practical use. It does help the reader understand the dynamics of violence that are almost certainly foreign to him. And intellectually, it’s useful to reinforce the lesson to normal people that there are many, many people who are not like you. Instead, they are some example or combination of grifter, predator, thief, or would-be alpha male (all at your expense). People, especially liberals, don’t want to realize that bad people are everywhere, and they must be put down. This book shows that reality clearly.

The author, Rory Miller, seems to have decades of experience in dealing with actual violence, primarily in the prison environment. He organizes his book into an outline structure, and divides it into a variety of topics, ranging from ethical and legal implications of violence, to the dynamics of violence (and how to de-escalate), through actual fighting, to the aftermath. Miller’s style is informal and somewhat discursive, but he seems to know exactly what he’s talking about, and he’s careful not to overstate his case, and to make clear that, as they say, your mileage may vary.

The most interesting, and I think most useful, chapters are “Dynamics Of Violence” and “Avoidance.” By dynamics of violence, Miller means the interactive steps people take in the period leading up to actual violence. Miller carefully divides situations into “social violence” and “asocial violence,” each having different subtypes, each with very different steps and implications.

As to social violence, every man (for this book is aimed at men, recognizing the reality that actual violence almost exclusively involves men as the active participants, progressive fantasies be damned) is familiar with what Miller calls the “Monkey Dance.” This involves ritualized steps between two men to establish their relative dominance, and rarely involves violence actually intended to significantly harm. He distinguishes this from the “Group Monkey Dance,” where multiple men focus on a single man or another group, where harm is common, and from the “Educational Beat Down,” frequent in structured hierarchies but usually not involving significant damage. Finally, he identifies the “Status Seeking Show”—an individual attacking a stranger, usually with extreme violence, to show his group why he should be feared by all, and simple “Territory Defense.”

As to asocial violence, in essence human predator violence (as distinguished from violence that conveys or affects social status), Miller differentiates between “process predators,” for whom the act of violence is the goal (serial killers; rapists), and “resource predators,” whose predation has the goal of acquiring something tangible, and for whom violence is incidental (robbers; burglars).

Miller’s next chapter, “Avoidance,” is also valuable. As the old joke goes (not that Miller uses it), “If I know I’m going to get into a gun fight when I leave the house—I don’t leave the house.” Similarly, different types of violence have radically different avoidance strategies, and what works for one type of violence may exacerbate another. Simply leaving the scene is often the best strategy (although it usually goes against the grain of male hard-wiring, and therefore can be very difficult). Miller both expands on scenarios from his previous chapter and gives specific possible responses, along with observations about what various physical cues and actions imply about the path of impending violence.

Miller’s later chapters focus on the actual mechanics of violence. Unless (like Miller) you train extensively in actual fighting, this is interesting, but not actually useful to most readers. You can’t train yourself to fight from a book if you haven’t fought before, and fought regularly, and trying to remember what Miller said on p. 96 when someone is attacking you probably will cause more harm than good. Nonetheless, there is good information on here, in particular heavy emphasis on the tendency of people not used to fighting to freeze, suffer gross motor deterioration, and/or experience very significant perception alterations. Miller also correctly emphasizes that after any fight, it is usually a big mistake to talk to anyone in detail, especially the police—and that after any fight, even if you avoid criminal liability, you’re likely to be sued. Miller’s book does not glamorize violence in any way, and when you finish, you certainly will want to avoid violence even more than you did before.

My only major complaint about the book is that it totally ignores firearms as a defensive tool (he occasionally mentions that criminals may have guns or knives). In these days where tens of millions of Americans, like me, carry guns every day, this is a huge gap in the book (the book was written in 2011, so this is really inexcusable). For example, it would be very useful if Miller were to update this book with, in his chapter on “Avoidance,” discussing the impact of the potential victim, in different scenarios of types of social violence, displaying, or alternatively brandishing, a gun. There would be pros and cons, of course—both practical and legal. Perhaps the answer is in a “Monkey Dance,” showing a gun is usually a big mistake, while for a “Process Predator,” guns are the first line of response. But expanding the book to cover such realistic possibilities would be very helpful to the reader.

If you really think you have a relevant chance of facing violence, this book is worth reading, because it should at least give you a marginally better chance of responding appropriately. It’s a quick read, and an interesting one, so why not?

[Jim · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this interesting and helpful in thinking about situations I hope to never encounter in my life - and what I would do if I did. That said, the book is mainly written for law enforcement pros, it seems, quite directed to them and also to a decidedly male audience. Seems to assume no women would ever read it, and in this #metoo moment, it has a number of sexist passages. Also, it has a heterosexist bias, as in, when the author is addressing his expected male audience, he's also assuming they are heterosexual and would have predictable ways in dealing with females. I was a bit taken aback by this, as a gay man reading this book for insights into how I should defend myself if attacked. But other than that - which is fairly common, unfortunately - I found this a good addition to other books I have on self-defense, including Gavin de Becker's "The Gift of Fear" and Sanford Strong's "Strong on Defense."

[James Wirrell · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an excellent book that covers all aspects someone might face when dealing with violence in the context of self-defense. The author considers all types of violence, not just firearms. He covers legal issues; describes the major types of situations in which violence is likely to occur so that they can be avoided; covers how to evade violent situations; reviews what you will be experiencing when you are first attacked; discusses the fight (but this isn’t a “how to” manual); and then covers issues you will face in the aftermath. The author includes a lot of real world advice, and his writing is very conversational - like you are getting free advice from a well seasoned and wise individual. And what makes this book really excellent is that (as the author says) many of the patterns observable in situations of violence are also present in our ordinary social lives, so this book helps make you more socially and emotionally intelligent. All in all, a very worthwhile read.

[Jake · Rating 5 out of 5]

A while back, I wrote a short facebook status that said "Finished my first read through of Rory Miller's Facing Violence last night. Will be starting a second read through before reviewing it. Short version: if you teach or train self-defense, read this book."

Upon a second reading, my views have not changed substantively. Facing Violence is an extremely important book, and anyone who has any reason to want to understand how to deal with violence should read it. Martial artists and self-defense instructors will get the most value out of it, but it has ideas that are useful for LEO and Military Combatives trainers as well.

Facing Violence is broken into seven chapters:

1. Legal and ethical implications.
2. Violence dynamics.
3. Avoidance.
4. Counter-ambush.
5. Breaking the freeze.
6. The fight itself.
7. The aftermath.

The astute out there will notice that the book takes three chapters to even get to any kind of physical assault, and another two dealing with what is essentially the first micro second of the fight (the ambush moment). There is only a single chapter about the fight itself, despite the fact that that single chapter is where most martial artists spend the vast majority of their training time. Think about how backwards that is for a minute. Maybe longer.

The chapter on legal and ethical implications of violence is interesting. The legal advice is, by necessity, a bit generic, and Rory advises readers to check up on their local statutes. "A book I read by a guy from the Wet Coast said this was okay" is not a valid legal defense. The ethical ideas are more universally applicable, and approach some similar ground to ideas that Tony Blauer covers in his FEAR Management and Performance Enhancement Psychology material. One thing that Rory highlights nicely is the issue of "glitches": things that, rather than motivating you to fight, might cause you to hesitate when you might need to fight. That's a topic that rarely is addressed by instructors, but it may be just as important as finding the things that do motivate you.

The violence dynamics chapter is solid gold. Rory does a solid overview of different types of violence, how and why they occur, and why solutions for one type of violence may not be appropriate for the other. Rory draws a distinction between social and asocial violence, which I have found very useful in framing discussions about scenarios and training in general. There's some good advice here about how to tell what kind of violence you are dealing with, and what strategies may or may not work. And some good mental exercises as well.

The avoidance chapter drifts into territory that others have covered, but Rory has a lot of solid insights here as well. This is the first book I've read, for example, that actually tells the reader how to scan a room. I'm sure it has been written about in other places, but finally seeing an author say something more concrete than
"be aware of your surroundings" was refreshing beyond belief. Good stuff here.

The counter ambush chapter starts to get into some physical material, which adds two things. Drills, and pictures. Rory demonstrates his two preferred counter-ambush methods, the "Dracula's Cape" and the "Spear-head" entry. Rory covers using these methods for dealing with attacks from the front and behind, and some drills for drilling these entries.

It is solid material; I confess, I'm waxing less poetic about it because it covers a lot of the same ground that is covered in the SPEAR System, and I think that the SPEAR is a more refined teaching/training methodology for dealing with the same problem. That is not to say that Rory's methods don't work (please, please, do not think I am saying that), or that you shouldn't train them. It is a personal preference thing.

The chapter on breaking the freeze covers what happens immediately after the counter ambush. There is a tickle in the back of my brain about this chapter: in short, I worry about memorizing the idea that you WILL freeze, because, hey, maybe you won't? Rory may even mention this...I can't remember off the top of my head, and I don't have the book here in front of me. In any case, the freeze certainly happens, and Rory's advice for dealing with it is excellent. Some of it, interestingly, mirrored advice that I give to the students I tutor for the SAT. Different freeze, similar strategies.

The chapter on the fight itself is about fighting. It is is short, and to the point. It is more conceptual than drill oriented. If all you want is more stuff to add to your physical practice, Rory's Drills: Training for Sudden Violence covers his approach to this better. Of course, if that was all you were looking for, you missed the point of this book.

The chapter on the aftermath likewise covers those things that martial artists and self-defense instructors rarely cover, but need to, desperately. Not just the legal aftermath, but the emotional and psychological aftermath as well. There is advice here not only for survivors of violence, but also for instructors and concerned friends. This is just the tip of the iceberg, but for those who have never investigated this stuff, it's a pretty good start.

So who should read this? Again, just about anyone interested in self-defense, violence prevention, martial arts, or whatever. In some ways, Facing Violence is actually more accessible than Miller's previous book, Meditations on Violence, though both are excellent and well worth reading. It certainly is now on my fictitious required reading list (it's fictitious because there is no one who I actually impose such requirements on). Go read it.

[Aleksander Styrvold Kristoffersen · Rating 5 out of 5]

A well written and understandable book. The author knows his stuff. And as he says; this is not a book for those who urge to pick a fight, this is a book for those who want to avoid fights. You can easily avoid fights if you learn how to read situations around you, and how you deal with them will determine your outcome. And if you get into a fight you should know the consequences of your actions. That’s what Miller explains in this book.

I will read this book several times in the future. I highly recommend it if you want to reflect and make up a mind on how you can stay out of trouble and how you will react if you get into trouble and the aftermath.

[Jon Keeling · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you have a serious interest in protecting yourself, you should consider reading this book and everything else Rory Miller has written.

If you teach self-defense professionally, you MUST read everything written by Rory Miller if you care about doing your job the best it can be done. This is not debatable. Every competent self-defense instructor would agree with this statement.

I teach Karate and self-defense internationally and have for several decades. And I talk about Rory Miller often. When people ask me which book I suggest they read, I always say "All of them!"

You can thank me later. ;-)

[Dani Kimlinger · Rating 5 out of 5]

Rory Miller's Facing Violence: Preparing for the Unexpected is an invaluable resource that shares a holistic approach to self-defense training. Encompassing seven vital elements—legal and ethical implications, violence dynamics, avoidance, counter-ambush, breaking the freeze, the fight itself, and the aftermath—this book equips you to face any unforeseen circumstance. I gleaned a lot of perspective from this book, emphasizing the importance of addressing all these aspects to safeguard against vulnerability during self-defense situations. I hope I'm never in a situation to need it, and I feel better prepared just in case.

[Christos · Rating 3 out of 5]

“It is better to avoid than to run, better to run than to de-escalate, better to de-escalate than to fight, better to fight than to die.” Είχε ορισμένα πολύ ενδιαφέροντα κομμάτια, άλλα λιγότερο πχ οι νομικές συνέπειες για την αυτοάμυνα στις ΗΠΑ, που δεν αφορούν το νομικό σύστημα άλλων χωρών. Το άκουσα σε audiobook οπότε ίσως δε βοήθησε τόσο το format για να δώσω ακόμα καλύτερη βαθμολογία. Χαίρομαι πάντως που σχεδόν το σύνολο όσων επισημαίνει ο Rory Miller, ταυτίζονται με όσα είχα διδαχτεί στη σχολή που παρακολουθούσα μαθήματας αυτοάμυνα πριν κάποια χρόνια.

[Matthew Dambro · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brilliant, absolutely brilliant analysis of violence facing the individual. I have read other books by Sgt. Miller and he never disappoints. He looks at the entire transaction of personal violence from start to finish. This book should be savored a few pages at a time. Sometimes, I could only read a few lines and then had to set it down and think deeply about the passage. This slim volume will change your whole frame of reference about violence.

[Samuel Scott · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book

Read this book if:
You feel a burden to protect yourself or others from violence.
You love learning and the social and psychological aspects of violence are something you don’t know much about.

This is practical, well written, and thought provoking. I’d recommend it to someone who’s not even interested in self defense simply because it was so engaging.

[Andrew Larkin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fascinating window into the world of violence, our preparedness for it, and our response to it. I'm now convinced more than ever how unprepared I have been. I guess conscious incompetence is better than utter ignorance. Now the question is what to do next? I think a practical self-defense programme could be my next step. Thank you, Rory Miller!

[Billy · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best books I've read on self defence. It deals less with the physical side of things, but more with the mental, the legal, and the ethical ramifications of violent encounters. It's a very sobering read at times, and gives the reader a lot to think about, and to action. Should be on every martial artists shelf, and I suspect this is one I will come back to again!