Self-Nurture: Learning to Care for Yourself as Effectively as You Care for Everyone Else

by Alice D. Domar, Henry Dreher

Everyone knows
someone who
needs this book
Think about how you feel at the end of a day when you find your first free moment so late in the evening that you're too exhausted to enjoy it. If you've had too many days like this, find the help you need to transform your life in Self-Nurture. Harvard psychologist Alice D. Domar, Ph.D., shows you how to restructure your life in a way that lets you breathe. Here are inspiring stories, easy-to-follow exercises, and meditations that will shift your focus from self-sacrifice to self-care. Written with wisdom and humor, Self-Nurture will empower you to develop the same fierce and tender concern for yourself that you've always given to those you love--a gift for anyone who needs to learn the art of self-care.

To listen to an interview with Alice Domar, check out www.TalktoTara.com

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Psychology, Mental Health, Parenting, Health

320 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1999

Reviews

[María · Rating 3 out of 5]

«¿Por qué etiquetamos como egoísta cualquier cosa que haga una mujer que no guarde relación con dar, producir o cuidar?» ¡BANG! Buscando información sobre el cuidado propio y el sustento personal me topé con Cuida de ti misma (de segunda mano). Se nota que es viejito (creo que se publicó en el 2000) y sin embargo sigue tratando sobre algo actual.

Alice D. Domar, directora del Centro para la Salud de la Mujer, de la Escuela de Medicina de Harvard, escribe sobre las mujeres, sobre cómo nos educan y el proceso en el que empezamos a cuidar a todes excepto... a nosotras mismas. Cuida de ti es una especie de programa dividido en las cuatro estaciones que propone cuidarnos a todos los niveles. No me ha cambiado la vida ni mucho menos (agradecería bibliografía además) pero suelta verdades como puños que, a veces, necesitamos escuchar.

Es mi responsabilidad aclarar que ningún libro sustituye a profesionales de salud.

[Deb · Rating 5 out of 5]

* *

The safety instructions given on every airline flight advise you to put on your own oxygen mask before attempting to help others with theirs. Similarly, the overriding message of Alice Domar's book is that you can only be of help to others once you have nurtured yourself. With real-life examples, cognitive restructuring techniques, mind/body exercises, writing assignments, and poignant insight, Alice provides inspiration and instruction for essential self care. Encompassing the realms of relationships, work, and play, Alice's book serves as a metaphorical oxygen mask for helping women breathe mindfully in all areas of their lives.

[Beth · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is divided by season and offers good ideas for taking care of yourself during the different parts of the year. I'm really impressed with the approach and the variety of strategies.

[Phoenix · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this book pretty different from other self care books due to the fact it is written from the viewpoint of a woman for women, due to this the author is able to empathise and understand the societal pressures that may result in women not taking time out to care for themselves. The book tackles emotional problems such as guilt stemming from childhood relations which affect our thought patterns in adult life. Being able to relate to what the author is saying, and due to the author being realistic in terms of the advise that she gives, makes the book easy to use and follow and therefore is more encouraging for the reader. Reading the book, it feels as if the author may be your friend , or even your sister as she talks from such a personal level about issues which have affected her and many other women that she knows. As all self care books, the book involves the reader putting in willpower and making an effort, but due to its inspiring nature, this is not too difficult. I would recommend this book to other women who find it difficult to take care of themselves and find themselves overcompensating for the needs of others before themselves

[Angela · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have to admit I approached this book with a significant amount of resentment.

First, it was given to all (200-ish) employees in my department at a sort of work retreat day. If management really thought that all of us were in need of serious nurturing, couldn't they have, you know, improved our working conditions? Prescribing individual solutions to systemic problems is some serious bullshit.

Second, though it doesn't say so in the title, this book is written for women. Most of the employees in my department were women, but not all (fewer than 5 men). Imagine being in such a stark minority, and then having your identity completely erased by being handed a book aimed at women--how alienating.

Third, not only is it aimed at women, but it assumes that all women are cisgender, and they all are or want to be in a long-term relationship with a man, and they all are or want to be mothers. The author did actually do a decent job of using gender-neutral terms like "mate" or "partner", but of the many anecdotes the author offered, I did not notice a single one where the person was in a same-sex relationship. Very off-putting to anyone outside of her narrow definition of womanhood.

That said, even around my underlying negative feelings, I did manage to find a few points that resonated, and jotted down a few tips that I would like to try applying in my own life. There were lots of suggestions about various meditation techniques, breathwork, and ways to approach thinking and talking about rough points in our relationships with others. I'm sure some people will find lots of gold in this book, but it offers enough suggestions that there's probably at least a nugget for everyone.

I was amused when the author referred to tape recording yourself reading a meditation sequence, until I noticed how long ago the book was written (2000). That doesn't invalidate any of the concepts, just don't feel you have to literally use a tape recorder.

[Sarah Battersby · Rating 4 out of 5]

"The only way we can have fully formed selves is by granting ourselves the same tenderness and fierce protectiveness we'd otherwise reserve for a beloved child. " ~Self Nurture, by Alice Domar.

Good lesson to learn.

[Amanda · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a very thought provoking read for me with several takeaways that I plan to implement. The breakdown of chapters by relationships was very helpful and eye-opening. It's a worthwhile read for women of all ages and stages.

[Rhonda Rankin · Rating 2 out of 5]

There are a lot of great thing to learn from this book.

[Joy Kaplan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Every woman needs to read this book!

[Lizzy Adedokun · Rating 3 out of 5]

Great concept but a bit boring to read sadly.

[Darla · Rating 3 out of 5]

A few nice ideas, but very dated.

[Anita · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read this book to fulfill the goal "read a self improvement book" I didn't like it at first. it mostly was all about how to meditate, and she kept tying our problems back to unresolved anger at our parents and spouses. I thought it was a bunch of malarky, but as i read the book i started deep belly breathing. it didn't seem to make much difference. that evening though, i discovered i was more cheerful. i actually laughed out loud at something which i almost never do. i was singing and moderately happy. it happened the next day too. i still don't think i have any issues with my parents or really my spouse that are making me sick, but somehow the exaggerated deep breathing does seem to make me feel better, and for that reason i am glad i read the book.

[Kathy B · Rating 5 out of 5]

Self-Nuture was was an insightful, humorous book which I enjoyed enough to follow several ideas and comments including the Meditations. This routine lasted for only 3 months as I couldn't be consistent. However, I continue to read it on occasions when I feel I need some self-care. I enjoy Alice D. Domar.

[Bridget]

Have this book

[Erik · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book basically said, "chill out and be good to yourself" in about five different ways and applied in five different relationships. Good advice, but boring as a read.

[Joann · Rating 4 out of 5]

Every mother should read this!

[Anna · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not bad, but nothing revolutionary here. Talks more about typical ways to engage in self-care with limited discussion on how to work through the issues that often impede women.