Emotional Currency: A Woman's Guide to Building a Healthy Relationship with Money

by Kate Levinson

Every day, women face new challenges that come with having control over, and responsibility for, their financial lives. Sometimes exciting, sometimes frightening, these issues always have an emotional side. Author and psychotherapist Dr. Kate Levinson offers fresh approaches to navigating the astonishing range of beliefs about the role of money in our lives, coming to terms with our feelings about being “rich” or “poor,” and exploring our inner money life so that we can put our feelings to work for us in a positive way. By understanding our intimate history and relationship with money we are better able to handle our money anxieties, solve our money problems, enjoy the money we have, and make room for other, more meaningful values.

Genres: Self Help, Finance, Nonfiction, Psychology, Womens, Money, Personal Growth

210 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2011

About the author

Kate Levinson has been a psychotherapist in the San Francisco Bay Area for 30 years. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. (#MFC 15955). "Emotional Currency: A Womans Guide to Building a Healthy Relationship with Money" is based on her Emotional Currency Workshops. In her private practice she consults with individuals, parents and adult children, and couples on a range of issues, with a specialty of money dilemmas.

Kate's work is based on how intricately intertwined money and emotion are and how they form a unique and idiosyncratic relationship within each of us. She has presented and taught on the intersection of money and psychology in a wide variety of settings over the years. More information, including workshop dates and book events, can be found on her website, www.emotionalcurrency.com.

She is on the faculty of The Psychotherapy Institute and for nine years Kate and her husband have owned and operated Point Reyes Books, a community serving bookstore in West Marin. In addition to author events, the bookstore has held conferences, co-published a literary review, and regularly held fundraisers for local non-profits. She sits on the board of the Northern California Independent Booksellers Association and West Marin Community Services.

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Reviews

[Amanda Feldman · Rating 3 out of 5]

Kinda stressed me out but validated at the same time?? Appreciated the inclusion of queer couples regarding money tho!

[Kate Woods Walker · Rating 2 out of 5]

Although this book will likely be of use to many women, it's mostly just a long personal chat interspersed with magazine-style filler. Throughout the first section, I found myself always in anticipation of some pithy insight or rockem-sockem financial wisdom that never came. What I kept reading, over and over, were different ways to say "People have emotional reactions to money."

Most useful were the author's suggested questions for those undertaking the journey to monetary maturity. Give these some honest thought and you're likely to make progress as you battle your emotional issues with money.

Most distressing were the author's own personal family stories. Writers should never be trusted with personal stories. Family members, though perhaps more respectful, are also suspect with one's own intimate details. But therapists should be trustworthy. This author-therapist, in telling her own family's money history, made me cringe. It felt as if the book was less about settling financial accounts than personal ones.

[Deb · Rating 5 out of 5]

*Towards a richer life*


Just as Geneen Roth has shown how our relationships with food serve as a microcosm and mirror for our relationships with self and others, Kate Levinson shares similar findings for women's relationships with money. The way we are with money reflects the way we are with life. Based on this powerful realization, Kate's _Emotional Currency_ offers a guide for achieving a richer life by creating a healthy relationship with money.

Far exceeding a a simple way for currency exchange, money seeps into every aspect of our lives. In the first part of the book, Kate identifies the complex roles that money plays in everyday life (pp. 31-38):
* Money carries our anxiety about survival
* Money is an agent of transformation
* Money is constantly in motion
* Money is a measure of value
* Money is both rational and emotional
* Money has everything to do with relationships
* Money shows our need for one another
* Money connects us to one another
* Money can distance us from others
* Money can be a motivator
* Money can affect our sense of place in the world
* Our personal monetary exchanges contain messages about who we are, how we see ourselves, and how others see us
* Our personal monetary exchanges affect the quality of our lives and of our communities are our planet

The book then guides the reader through a personal exploration of the the five psychological issues that often intertwine with money (self worth, abundance and deprivation, protection, needs for autonomy and dependency, and envy) and the influences of family, race, culture, and gender. The second part of the book explores the key emotions underlying women's relationships with money: fear and confidence, shame and pride, and love.

The final part of the book provides a way to transform and heal our relationship with money. As Kate eloquently explains (p. 181):
"When we refuse to face the shadow and the darkness, we continually repeat our broken life patterns from the past. This brokenness blinds us to the opportunities, as well as dangers, in the present. Healing is not about forgetting the past--the past is a part of who we are. It brings deep-felt experience and wisdom to our lives. Healing helps us to contain and integrate the past."
She offers a six-step approach to this transformative healing process (pp. 172-178):
1. Identify your troublesome emotional reaction or behavior.
2. Discover what contributes to your feeling, behaving, and thinking the way you do.
3. Explore your emotions around your troublesome reaction or behavior.
4. Be open.
5. Create a support system.
6. Accept what has been and what is.

Serving as guide for understanding, exploring, and transforming our relationships with money, _Emotional Currency_ paves the way toward a richer life. It is certainly worth far more than its weight in gold.

[Orbs n Rings · Rating 4 out of 5]

Change the way you perceive money and it's sensations. Levinson gives it to you straight and detailed to help you achieve your goals

Emotional Currency is one of those books that makes you think; I wish I had this book years ago. A book I certainly needed when as a young adult I got a hold of that first credit card. Levinson explains how for centuries our society shut out the female from building any kind of relationship with money. Causing woman to be left in the dark when it came to their household finances. Levinson teaches us how the woman's view it so much differently than a mans when it comes to money and why. Explaining how money is viewed in our society in general and by other cultures is a real eye opener. Her examples on how women attach emotion and how easy it is for us to do so, make sense. She teaches the reader to be aware of how we as women are more prone to take our first experiences with money and use that as a template in our future relationships with money. Carrying this unnecessary baggage can be very destructive, especially if our parents had struggles with money either in their relationships with others or in their own marriage.

How do you feel when you think of money? Whether you fear money or are confident with it. Levinson has lessons for you. Some women hold shame or pride when it comes to their money. Others only know anger and hurt. What relationship do you have with money? Levinson has studied these issues for many years. I found very helpful the exercises and questions throughout Emotional Currency's chapters that help you pinpoint those areas you need help with the most. Her book also contains real life stories from women who she has worked with in her workshops and in her psychotherapy practice. I found emotional Currency very refreshing, certainly interesting and most importantly life changing.

[Anna · Rating 4 out of 5]

The book itself would have probably got 2 stars from me if it hadn't been for its effect. It's not easy to read and there are lots and lots of empty places that just take your time and attention but bring nothing crucial to the subject in question. Frankly, the better part of it is just plain boring.

But.

I'm giving it 4 stars for the fact that it discusses something so often tabooed and omitted - money, how we deal with it and how much it means (and yes, it does mean much despite all the proverbs, sayings and your own parents telling you otherwise). The influence of money on my life was a revelation to me. I honestly had no idea before I started to read this book. Several of the exercises were quite useful. I dropped my obsessive shopping habits thanks to this book - or rather, thanks to the fact that it got me thinking, writing and analyzing all things money in my life.

That is why, despite the rather dry style, I definitely do recommend it.

[Jennifer Campaniolo · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a great book for women who have money issues but don't know why. Levinson, who teaches Emotional Currency classes and is also a psychotherapist with a private practice, leads readers through the steps to self-discovery and a better awareness of what emotions/memories lie beneath our excessive frugality or spendthrift habits. She also is candid in sharing her own money story--a mother who indulged her and a tightwad father.

I didn't find very much in the book that was new to me because I've already read similar books, like Money: A Memoir and others that covered some of the same ground. But I did some of the writing exercises and made some small discoveries, like how much I equate what people spend on me with how much they love me--which turns out to be a common problem for women.

[Lindsay · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful!

Even if everything in this book doesn’t apply to you, I guarantee more than one thing will get you thinking.

[Anna · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really thought this book would be helpful to me. While I agree with many concepts in the book it’s so intensely boring and full of long winded and kind of pointless information. It’s distracting in that I’m easily distracted because it can’t hold my attention in the slightest. I do feel like I’d like to continue to learn about money and how to overcome challenges and make better decisions.
This book isn’t doing that for me.
I feel, even when it comes to non fiction and self help, one should read books that are engaging. This one is not. So I’m setting it aside and will look elsewhere to dive into this subject. For now, I feel that awareness is my best tool when working to have a healthier relationship to my finances.

[Lino Verde · Rating 4 out of 5]

I did learn something new from reading this book. As many criticized the style of the book, I found the writings tend to be too long to untangle the emotions behind money.

The author explored 5 psychological issues that intertwine with money: self-worth, abundance and deprivation, protection, autonomy and dependency, and envy.

I will share two quotes I found very helpful to me:

"Once we have enough money to meet our basic needs, money's influence over us comes mainly from what it symbolizes or represents for us."

"Work toward discerning which feelings are most import for you to focus on. "

[Lori Koppelman · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've read other books about this topic but wanted a refresh due to my circumstances changing. I enjoyed the stories and the author's personal examples - they are required for a book of this kind. As with anything, reading about the topic brings awareness instead of things lurking like shadows in the background.

The kernel I distilled after doing many of the journaling questions is that since I tend to deprive rather than overdo on the consumption continuum, the question I need to ask is if this thing/experience would be fuel for feeling vibrant and joyful, and if so, get it/do it. When I ask it this way, I know I can trust myself to get the truthful answer and not the fear-based one.

[Julia de’Caneva · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book felt like a great starting point for unpacking the emotional side of money. I think some of the questions posed/exercises felt kind of expected/not game changing, but there were nuggets of perspective that I really appreciated. The best parts were hearing examples of other people’s money scenarios and how they chose to move forward. In many ways it’s better read as a workbook, but still offers plenty of reflections if you’re simply reading through.

[SV · Rating 3 out of 5]

By the time I had gotten through the first chapter (Getting Started), I abhorred that this author would be so painfully lengthy in her dialogue before hitting the high points. I think I will continue reading it but skim through the narratives. Unfortunately, it's work to read.

[Misty Duke · Rating 4 out of 5]

Emotional Currency is an insightful and thought-provoking book. The many testimonies were relatable and the author’s writing style was entertaining. I am currently working on further educating myself based on the recommendations in this book.

[Mehnaz Amjad · Rating 5 out of 5]

Our relationship with Money

This book is for anyone who wants to understand the hidden relationship we have always held with money ,but never brought it to the surface,and in turn learned why we have the money wound and how to heal it the right way.

[Elizabeth · Rating 3 out of 5]

While not bad, this book wasn't great either.

I think I was hoping for more because it all seemed very shallow and didn't get into more complex aspects of women and how they relate to money.

If you've never thought about your relationship with money at all this might be helpful to you.

[Alison · Rating 2 out of 5]

Library Kinlde book -- good concept but I couldn't get into it -- too many "imaginary person" stories.

[Franchesca Foote · Rating 3 out of 5]

Overall, there are some good lessons to take away from this book. The writing style just wasn’t my favorite.

[Kara Burns · Rating 3 out of 5]

I feel like this book started out really strong then became repetitive and boring toward the end. Still a lot of really good information in here though and worth reading.

[Kelley Holland · Rating 5 out of 5]

Kate Levinson fearlessly wades into territory that for many women is frightening. Reading this book is an act of healing if money is a source of pain in your life. Highly recommend!

[Hannah Okelberry · Rating 3 out of 5]

this took me forever bc it was too real lmao 🙃

[Ronnie]

A healthy dose of consideration over the one relationship no one ever talks about. Good read! Not great writing, gets a bit boring.

[Tempest · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.75 ⭐️

[Adrienna · Rating 3 out of 5]

Briefly took notes for financial classes or program offered to male incarcerated persons, two groups. This may help them as it helped me.

[Corinne Stevens · Rating 3 out of 5]

This led me to believe that I have numerous personal economies, meaning that the same amount of money carries a different economic value to me depending on what I’m using it to buy.

[K2 ----- · Rating 4 out of 5]

I heard this author speak in a marvelous interview http://www.kuow.org/program.php?id=23977 that compelled me to read her book. I made cds of the interview and handed them out to family members and friends as I was so impressed by her ability to speak the truth about a topic women rarely speak about and should.

I am mentoring a young woman, in financial literacy, and we had been talking about how in our culture it is more taboo to speak of financial things---that it is more likely we would talk about sex or death.

Author Kate Levinson, a psychotherapist, gives readers new ways to look at our relationship with money and how it indeed shapes our emotional landscape. Although it is said to be written for women I would think that men too would benefit from this examination of the roots of our feelings around money and finance.

Some readers were critical that the book was not meaty enough, in response I would say that she was trying to make an approachable book for a wide audience and perhaps these readers came to the book with their own expectations and a level of financial literacy beyond most.

Levinson runs seminars for women to explore their relationship with money and to openly discuss what is often kept quiet. She talks about how much money woman control on our culture, they make 80% of consumer purchase decision, and control more than half the family wealth in the country. She brings up examples of various people's stories, around money, in the tradition of the self-help genre.

I have been amazed in talking with this twenty-something friend how she seems to be unaware of the manipulations of the media and advertising around spending, Levinson talks about this, and other things that trigger responses that may not serve us well over time.

This would make a fabulous book club selection or a discussion point for an investment club. I would also recommend the book The Soul of Money by Lynn Twist or Your Money or Your Life by Vicki Robin.

[Lenny Husen · Rating 3 out of 5]

I didn't read this entire book but am not marking it "unable to finish".
The problem is that it isn't a book, it is a WORKBOOK. So, if you are an aspiring writer and like journaling, this is totally fine.
The problem is, the whole book is mainly, "Think about the following and write about your memories and feelings associated with the following" and then there is a LONG list of questions, or words.
The few case studies or examples of women with money problems or neuroses are so changed in order to be devoid of any identifying details that I found them very dull and generic.

This is actually a good idea and I think journaling about money memories and roots of anxiety about money definitely could be and would be therapeutic. But who the fuck has that kind of time? Wealthy Retirees.

[Kristen · Rating 2 out of 5]

I gave up on this book about half way through because it was too touchy-feely for my taste. I'm sure there are people out there who could benefit greatly from this book. If you have emotional baggage tied to money and spending then this book is for you (I'm not judging...we all have emotional baggage about something). But if you are looking for more down to earth advice on spending, budgeting, economics, and investing you should probably skip this title.

[Elisabeth · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this book very interesting, especially because of the stories of other women that are included. The connection between the way we feel about money and the way we act about money were a surprise to me. Definitely recommend.

[Jeanne Vaver · Rating 4 out of 5]

Although this book is aimed at women, (men also would benefit) by learning, not how to manage money, but how we think about it, and why. I gained much insight into my spending and saving habits, some I want to retain, and some I want to change.

[Lachelle]

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