What do you think?
Rate this book
בגן השלום: מדריך לשלום בית לגברים
Take a stroll through a delightful and refreshing garden, where tranquil thoughts, soothing words, and brilliant insights abound. This eye-opening book, written for men only, is the first of its kind. Direct, honest, down-to-earth, and practical, it describes the true path to peace between a husband and wife. There is no talking-down, no self-righteousness, and no ambiguity in these pages. Instead, the shining light of truth mingles with the sparkling call of hope, making the reading of this book a life-changing experience.
B'Gan HaShalom by Rabbi Shalom Arush has become an overnight best-seller in Israel. This is an amazingly enjoyable and practical guidebook for men that want to be winning husbands. An old adage says that winners don't need to make excuses why they won the game, yet losers are full of excuses why they lost the game. In that vein, Rabbi Shalom Arush's track record is no less than phenomenal – he's a winning marital coach with a better track record than any marital counselor alive. His advice, girded firmly in the foundations of Talmudic and Jewish esoteric thought, is crystal clear and reader friendly. Any man that implements Rabbi Shalom's advice is bound to see a major subsequent improvement in his marriage. This book will undoubtedly improve your marriage too. Whether you've already celebrated your Golden Anniversary or whether you've just started to contemplate marriage, The Garden of Peace will quickly become your trusty companion and guide.
חכמות נשים is the woman's version of this book.
B'Gan HaShalom by Rabbi Shalom Arush has become an overnight best-seller in Israel. This is an amazingly enjoyable and practical guidebook for men that want to be winning husbands. An old adage says that winners don't need to make excuses why they won the game, yet losers are full of excuses why they lost the game. In that vein, Rabbi Shalom Arush's track record is no less than phenomenal – he's a winning marital coach with a better track record than any marital counselor alive. His advice, girded firmly in the foundations of Talmudic and Jewish esoteric thought, is crystal clear and reader friendly. Any man that implements Rabbi Shalom's advice is bound to see a major subsequent improvement in his marriage. This book will undoubtedly improve your marriage too. Whether you've already celebrated your Golden Anniversary or whether you've just started to contemplate marriage, The Garden of Peace will quickly become your trusty companion and guide.
חכמות נשים is the woman's version of this book.
323 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2008
20 people are currently reading
339 people want to read
About the author
Rav Shalom Arush
52 books29 followersRav Shalom Arush is an Israeli Breslov rabbi and founder of the Chut Shel Chessed Institutions. He spreads the teachings of Rebbe Nachman of Breslov among Sephardic and Ashkenazic baalei teshuva, as well as many non-Jews, around the world through his books and speaking appearances.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews
February 20, 2013
A marriage book for men by an Orthodox Jewish rabbi. So it was a mixture of great insights on the one hand, and poor handling of Scripture on the other.
He nails some very important principles.
The husband is to be the initiating giver to his wife. "A man gives, a woman receives" (99). When the man demands things of his wife before he demonstrates his own change, it only makes things worse.
The husband is responsible for what goes on in the home. "The wife is a mirror of the husband.... Any deficiency he sees in her is actually his own deficiency" (41). Instead of seeking to correct her, he should focus on correcting himself. A great example is on page 268: if he doesn't give her the attention she needs, she'll find it with long phone calls and visits. When he complains about this to her, "He doesn't realize that he's responsible for all this."
Compliment instead of criticize. I could tell the author has done some counseling when he wrote this: "Be consistent with your compliments....If she brushes them off, it's only because she wants to prove to herself that you really mean it" (271).
A wife needs to feel loved by her husband. "A woman's greatest desire is that her husband should love her. If she sees that this is not the case... she feels so alone... her world grows dark" (273).
I could tell by these that Arush has dealt with plenty of clueless husbands.
I write as a Christian, so a lot of the Jewish lingo was off-putting to me, especially appealing to the authority of the sages and meriting reward. Sometimes merit just meant obedience leading to joy. Other times it's really harmful. Relating a man struggling in his marriage, Arush says "All he had to do was try a bit harder" (206). Other times it was simplistic: "children born within the context of family purity are sweet and well-adjusted; those born from a mother who didn't immerse in a proper mikva are rebellious and insolent" (339). Other times it was weird: "Each prayer creates a mighty angel that assists a person at some point in their life" (339). At other points the rejection of grace as Christians know it was obvious: "It is forbidden to do any kindness for someone who is ungrateful" (183). "Heaven only has mercy on people who have mercy on others. When a man has mercy on his wife, he opens the gates of Heavenly mercy for himself" (278). He even assumes reincarnation, which I found surprising for an Orthodox rabbi (307).
This is not the book I'd give to someone struggling in their marriage, though some of the above principles are useful for husbands struggling to love their wives.
He nails some very important principles.
The husband is to be the initiating giver to his wife. "A man gives, a woman receives" (99). When the man demands things of his wife before he demonstrates his own change, it only makes things worse.
The husband is responsible for what goes on in the home. "The wife is a mirror of the husband.... Any deficiency he sees in her is actually his own deficiency" (41). Instead of seeking to correct her, he should focus on correcting himself. A great example is on page 268: if he doesn't give her the attention she needs, she'll find it with long phone calls and visits. When he complains about this to her, "He doesn't realize that he's responsible for all this."
Compliment instead of criticize. I could tell the author has done some counseling when he wrote this: "Be consistent with your compliments....If she brushes them off, it's only because she wants to prove to herself that you really mean it" (271).
A wife needs to feel loved by her husband. "A woman's greatest desire is that her husband should love her. If she sees that this is not the case... she feels so alone... her world grows dark" (273).
I could tell by these that Arush has dealt with plenty of clueless husbands.
I write as a Christian, so a lot of the Jewish lingo was off-putting to me, especially appealing to the authority of the sages and meriting reward. Sometimes merit just meant obedience leading to joy. Other times it's really harmful. Relating a man struggling in his marriage, Arush says "All he had to do was try a bit harder" (206). Other times it was simplistic: "children born within the context of family purity are sweet and well-adjusted; those born from a mother who didn't immerse in a proper mikva are rebellious and insolent" (339). Other times it was weird: "Each prayer creates a mighty angel that assists a person at some point in their life" (339). At other points the rejection of grace as Christians know it was obvious: "It is forbidden to do any kindness for someone who is ungrateful" (183). "Heaven only has mercy on people who have mercy on others. When a man has mercy on his wife, he opens the gates of Heavenly mercy for himself" (278). He even assumes reincarnation, which I found surprising for an Orthodox rabbi (307).
This is not the book I'd give to someone struggling in their marriage, though some of the above principles are useful for husbands struggling to love their wives.
September 10, 2018
How a real man should treat his soulmate.
Want to read
February 3, 2015life saver
May 26, 2020
Men and women have different spiritual needs and traits. This book is a sledgehammer over the head for Jewish men that stresses the importance of being married and understanding the spiritual traits and needs of a wife.
March 2, 2020
A wonderful guide for any one this married and wants to have a happy fruitful life with their chosen partner!
December 22, 2020
Miraculous book, every man should read it. If you are a Christian, don't worry about it, the wisdom in this book is astounding. To me it was a needed punch in the face.
July 5, 2021
I need this book to make my Life better!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Read
February 25, 2023Really bad. Was told it changed someone’s life so I decided to try it. I am not the intended audience. 0 stars for me.
January 2, 2025
This is the most importance marriage book and the only one couples will need. This is the men’s version. The women’s is equally important!!
March 4, 2013
I am not married but a friend of mine who had recently got engaged recommended it to me for all men. It's actually mind blowing and totally not what you think it's going to be. Highly recommended, particularly the section on 'Being a Man'. For those guys who are married or who are considering it; you need this book. There's a great little warning for prying female readers on the inside cover as well!
June 7, 2018
This is a must-have book for any orthodox Jewish married man. Has helped me and many of my friends with Shalom Bayit (Peace in the Home). Read, internalize and apply everything Rabbi Arush says for a happier, more fulfilling marriage.
Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews