How to Survive the Loss of a Child: Filling the Emptiness and Rebuilding Your Life

by Catherine M. Sanders

"Thank you, Catherine Sanders , for giving us a book that few others could have written. Every page speaks both the depth of your compassion and the breadth of your knowledge. This book will be a wise companion on the difficult journey from loss to recovery."
— Robert Kastenbaum, Ph.D., author of The Psychology of Death
" How to Survive the Loss of a Child is a godsend to those in the field as well as to those of us in need of such a resource for our own mourning."
— Eugene Knott, Ph.D., University of Rhode Island
"Dr. Sanders' insights are profound and poignant."
— Patricia Geiger, M.D., pediatrician, Boone, North Carolina
"Thank you so much for all that you do for bereaved parents but especially for writing How to Survive the Loss of a Child . I know that it has changed lives. It changed mine!"
— Nancy Ulmer, bereaved parent, Kindermourn, Charlotte, North Carolina
It is only through experiencing grief that bereaved parents ultimately heal. Moving through the phases of grief, the bereaved person works toward restoration. Understanding these phases, knowing what to expect, and learning what they can do to help themselves give parents greater assurance and comfort.
In How to Survive the Loss of a Child , Dr. Sanders, a bereaved parent herself, offers grieving parents practical help and emotional support. This book also helps family members, friends, and caregivers relate to grieving parents and aids them, too, in understanding the process of healing through grief.


From the Trade Paperback edition.

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help

256 pages, Paperback

First published June 22, 1992

About the author

CATHERINE M. SANDERS, PhD, is a psychologist in private practice. As an expert on grief and loss, she has conducted research, written many journal articles and has lectured extensively on the subject. She received the 1991 award for Outstanding Contribution in the Field of Death-Related Counseling from the Association for Death Education and Counseling [Clinical Practice Award].

Reviews

[Dawn · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm not sure how to rate this. I didn't want to be reading it, nor do I want to be reviewing it. But I did.. So I am. I went with three stars, because I'm sure there are a lot of people out there that it would be helpful for. For me though? I can't say it helped. Maybe that's because of the peculiarity of my situation. Maybe I just wasn't ready yet to hear what it had to say. To be honest.. A lot of it was common sense. Your grief will be like this, and that's normal, you're not alone. It didn't really help. And more so... The things I thought that would help most, the sections on dealing with the loss of a child under two.. They had some weird suggestions on how to cope. Things I would never do. I guess they may help some people, I won't go into what they are here... But they didn't really help me.

So three stars, because there were some passages that really hit close to home. Things I had thought or felt.. And seeing them written there by someone else, thought by someone else.. It made me feel a little less alone. I think if my situation were less complicated, it would have been more helpful. But the truth is.. I don't think there's any book out there that could help me. But back to this book.. I took the main point of the book to be this.. Your grief will affect you in a way unique to the person you are, and the situation you are in. Nothing you say or do in your grief is wrong, and you're not as alone as you may feel. There's always someone else out there who has been through something similar.. We all deal exactly how our body tells us to in order to heal. The best you can do is let yourself be open to the pain. Feel it and don't run from it. Do what you need to do. Listen to your body and pay attention to what it needs. Take time for yourself. One day at a time... Keep on living because that's the only option you have.

[Jani M · Rating 4 out of 5]

General good info

The first half was good, I skimmed the last half, I think it's just where I am in the grieving process. The grim story after grim story got tedious. I understand the need to give examples, but they're hard to read when you're grieving. It was written in the late 80's, early 90's so some of the stuff is a little antiquated, but mostly still relevant.

[Edie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good book to help with loss of a child. It still hurts but you know what to expect and how everyone grieves differently including a husband and wife. Highly recommend this book to all, like us who have lost children.

[Tracey · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book had some interesting facts. Not really appropriate for year 1. I am in year 3 and found it safe to read. Towards the end it lost me a bit.. I guess I am finding it difficult to rebuild after my only child departed.

[Paula Kramer · Rating 4 out of 5]

These types of books are difficult to get through. I think I have been reading this one for two months now. This is a good one for helping you understand the phases of grief when losing a child. It covers several kinds of deaths and the different ways each one effects the parents. As all books about death stress-everyone handles grief in their own way although some aspects are similar in most cases. This is a very helpful one. I will reread this one in the future.

[Bridget · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked this book for a variety of reasons. First, it has excellent scholarship. The author has 1. lost a child, 2. done clinical research on grieving and 3. incorporated the stories of many into each of the stages of grief. It felt more solid than other books on grieving that are "touchy feely".

[Tina]

Given to me by my Aunt Joyce, this book helped me when I was grasping for answers during one of the most tragic times in my life.

[Mary Woods · Rating 3 out of 5]

I hate that I had to read this book. No mother should need to, but this book helped.

[Angie Reyes · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book helped me a lot. I can understand what I'm going through out using the phrase "going crazy." I personally wish though I wasn't in a situation where I had to read it.

[Michelle]

I have read many books on grieving the loss of a child. This is one of the better ones.

[Jeff · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good resource for finding your way through grief to healing.

[Mathilda Craft]

considering this for a friend. will need to read it first though.