Disciplines of the Home

by Anne Ortlund

Disciplines of the Home

Genres: Christian Living, Christian, Nonfiction

Paperback

First published January 1, 1920

Reviews

[Sophie Miller · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had really low expectations coming to this book published in 1990, but I loved it. It was deeply practical and full of biblical truths (which shaped the practicality) for stewarding marriage and family life well. We got married a week ago today, and I’m so grateful for God’s providence in having us read this book at this stage in our relationship/family.

[Rachel · Rating 3 out of 5]

While there are themes and values in this book that are commendable and worth emulating, most of this book is now outdated as it was written 32 years ago.

[Katie Krombein · Rating 4 out of 5]

P. 37: Don’t be objecting, “But what if…?” and start conjuring up extreme examples of someone’s being married to the Devil himself. Most of us are just ordinary, self-centered, obnoxious sinners. The challenge is to “love” and “respect” anyway. To give each other time. To be patient. To be compassionate. To think the best, to view with hope. To deeply study the stranger to whom God has joined you (Matt. 19:6). And to seek to understand.

p. 42: Writes Charles Colson: Ordained by God as the basic unit of human organization, the family is not only necessary for propagating the race, but is the first school of human instructor. Parents take small, self-centered monsters...and teach them to share, to wait their turn, to respect others' property. These lessons translate into respect for others, self-restraint, obedience to law--in short, into the virtues of individual character that are vital to society's survival.

p. 45: The kids must know! They must hear loud and clear how loved and wanted they are in this world! What more powerful way can they learn this than for you to be saying by your very presence, "You're wanted. I'm here for you. I like to be with you. I enjoy you. I delight in you! I'm available."

p. 49: great encouraging scripture section

P. 53: successful parenting means: one, becoming what you should be. And two, staying close enough to the children for it to rub off.

p. 72: God our Heavenly Father created maleness, and He affirms it--just as any human father must affirm the maleness of his boys, teaching them manners, respect for women and girls, and care and defense of them at all costs. (His treatment of their mother will model all that.)

p. 78: since World War II--our role as women is drastically changing. I see our greatest danger not in the new things we're stepping out and doing, but in the areas which as a consequence we're neglecting. Titus 2:3-5 command the younger women:
To love their husbands and children,
To be self-controlled and pure,
To be busy at home,
To be kind, and
To be subject to their husbands.
In these darkening "last days,"
Too many husbands and children are not loved.
Too many women are no longer "self-controlled and pure, ....busy at home, ...kind, ....subject to their husbands."
And remembering 1 Tim 5:10, Children are often not being truly "brought up." Hospitality has dwindled. Practical needs are not always being met. Those in trouble are often neglected. "All kinds of good deeds" frequently don't get done.

P. 84: Teenagers are people in transition. You and I have made enough transitions, even in our adult lives, to know how unstable they are, and how confused and depressed losses and gains can make us. Expect these kids to be restless, temperamental, critical of their present situation, and experimental—wanting to push outward and flex their muscles, and yet inside, scared to death to do it.
…
When the feelings of closeness are there between spouse and spouse, between parents and children, between children and children—great! Enjoy them. If the “feelings” go for a while, you’re still on the same territory and nobody’s going to bolt. Say so—over and over. You’re building in stability every time you do. And affirm the fact that the good feelings will later return; then you’re also building in hope.

p. 102: This morning I had to say it to him: "Nels, my big mouth did it again! You were expressing some legitimate hurts last night, and it was time for me just to listen to your feelings. It wasn't the time for me to justify myself." I went on to say, "I goofed a lot in raising you, and I'm still at it, and I apologize. You've turned out wonderfully well--not because of me but in spite of me!"

p. 109: Security is not the absence of danger but the presence of God.

p. 113: A doubting, worrying mother is a bad mother. She's modeling fear, not faith; and she'll produce worrying, anxious kids who have no idea that "God is our refuge and strength, an ever present help in trouble" (Ps 46:1). This is of top importance, because "without faith it is impossible to please God" (Heb 11:6). Your kids must get firmly planted in lives of trust.
How, then, parent, do you quite worrying? You give up control. I can fuss and stew when I don't feel a sense of control over somebody or something. Then, again and again, I have to turn the control over to God--and immediately peace comes, and I rest.

P. 121-122: great encouraging scripture section

P. 128-129: Missouri Synod Lutheran prayer:
“God made us a family.
We need one another.
We love one another.
We forgive one another.
We work together.
We play together.
We worship together.
Together we use God’s Word.
Together we grow in Christ.
Together we love all men.
Together we serve our God.
Together we hope for heaven.
These are our hopes and ideals;
Help us to attain them, O God;
Through Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen.”

[Kristen Peirce · Rating 4 out of 5]

I grew up seeing my mom reading Anne Orlund's Discipline books so it has been nostalgic for me to pick them up and read them myself. While the writing style feels a little dated today, the content is as relevant (if not more so) as it was 30+ years ago. The chapters are supported by scripture and real life examples, and each one includes a short list of additional scripture to continue the study. It would be a great book for a women's group Bible study for all ages AND stages of life.

Anne is bold and honest and enthusiastic about her mission to equip her readers with keeping the home a Christ centered place and haven. It is clear that God placed this book on Anne's heart. I highly recommend it!

[Allison · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some helpful thoughts, some incredibly outdated and problematic guidance. Definitely a mixed bag.

[Cecilia Truitt · Rating 3 out of 5]

a discovery from the ROACT House shelf lol

[Jamey · Rating 3 out of 5]

I would recommend this book to young couples planning on starting a family. There are many good principles that the families of today should get back to spelled out in this book.
I found the writing style and some of the content somewhat simple, but people have gotten away from these simple goodnesses, and it would benefit many parents to read and abide by the chapters here.

[Denise]

Anne gives a refreshing look at the home from God's perspective. She encouraged my heart to make the home a place where my family gathers, loves, plays, and praises our God.

[Debbie .skylark. · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was such a helpful book to me as I began raising children. I love this author. We met her at a conference at Sandy Cove. She is very practical. I highly recommend it.

[Alicia Perrin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very practical and refreshing advice for the Christian family! By the time I finished it I was ready to re-read it.