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Transcending Loss: Understanding the Lifelong Impact of Grief and How to Make It Meaningful
"Compassionate, poignant, and practical. . . . Transcending Loss will be a great blessing on your lifetime journey of recovery."--Harold Bloomfield, MD, psychiatrist and author of How to Survive the Loss of Love and How to Heal Depression
Death doesn't end a relationship, it simply forges a new type of relationship--one based not on physical presence but on memory, spirit, and love.
There are many wonderful books available that address acute grief and how to cope with it. But they often focus on crisis management and imply that there is an "end" to mourning, and fail to acknowledge grief's ongoing impact and how it changes through the years.
"This is a book about death and grief, yes, but more important, it is a book about love and hope. I have learned from my experience and interviews with courageous people about pain, struggle, resiliency, and meaning. Their stories show over time, you can learn to transcend even in spite of the pain."--from the introduction by Ashley Davis Bush, LCSW
Death doesn't end a relationship, it simply forges a new type of relationship--one based not on physical presence but on memory, spirit, and love.
There are many wonderful books available that address acute grief and how to cope with it. But they often focus on crisis management and imply that there is an "end" to mourning, and fail to acknowledge grief's ongoing impact and how it changes through the years.
"This is a book about death and grief, yes, but more important, it is a book about love and hope. I have learned from my experience and interviews with courageous people about pain, struggle, resiliency, and meaning. Their stories show over time, you can learn to transcend even in spite of the pain."--from the introduction by Ashley Davis Bush, LCSW
304 pages, Paperback
Published August 1, 1997
30 people are currently reading
142 people want to read
About the author
Ashley Davis Bush
20 books54 followersI'm so glad to be part of the Goodreads forum!
I am a licensed psychotherapist in private practice now living in Antigua, Guatemala. I am also the author of 10 self-help books.
In my clinical work I focus on helping individuals cope with loss, heal from trauma, find inner peace, navigate life's transitions and on helping couples improve their relationship.
My background: I hold a Bachelor of Arts degree in psychology from Smith College and a Masters in Social Work degree from Columbia University. Early on, I worked in community mental health in New York City later wrote, lived and practiced in southern New Hampshire for 22 years.
I, with my husband Daniel, have 5 grown children who live around the globe.
I enjoy singing and perform with local choral groups and community theaters.
I am a licensed psychotherapist in private practice now living in Antigua, Guatemala. I am also the author of 10 self-help books.
In my clinical work I focus on helping individuals cope with loss, heal from trauma, find inner peace, navigate life's transitions and on helping couples improve their relationship.
My background: I hold a Bachelor of Arts degree in psychology from Smith College and a Masters in Social Work degree from Columbia University. Early on, I worked in community mental health in New York City later wrote, lived and practiced in southern New Hampshire for 22 years.
I, with my husband Daniel, have 5 grown children who live around the globe.
I enjoy singing and perform with local choral groups and community theaters.
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Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews
April 11, 2008
This is one of the most compelling, authentic, and affirming grief books I've read in the last almost three years of being a young widow. In all the grief books I've read, few discuss the long-term effects of grief, much to my growing frustration as it gets longer and longer since my husband died. This book does, and does it well. Everything the author describes resonates and feels accurate.
She lays out three initial phases of grief--shock, disorganization, and reconstruction--and then adds two more to convey the lifelong element of grief--synthesis and transcendence. She lays out a framework, which she calls the SOAR solution--an acronym for Spirituality, Outreach, Attitude, and Reinvestment--for making the loss meaningful and as a pathway to reach transcendence.
The author interviewed 50 people who had lost a loved one, to write this book. So she did the legwork and research, and doesn't seem to be preaching without any foundation for her observations. The variety of grievers included--those who lost a parent, sibling, spouse, child, or multiple people--make it easy for this book to be applicable to many grievers, and not a specific subgroup such as widows or widowers.
In some ways, Prend's approach is simpler and more streamlined than the descriptions or stages of grief described in other grief books. Also, some (many?) of the statements and observations that Prend makes are subtly different than those in other grief books, and as such it feels like a better, more accurate depiction than, for instance, Kubler-Ross's On Grief and Grieving does. That Prend looks at the long-term and lifelong effects of grief is certainly unique.
And ultimately, this book *is* about hope, that you can survive, thrive, and have an enriching life, even after experiencing the trauma of a loved one dying. All in all, this is one of the best self-help books on grief that I've read in the last three years, of which I've probably read at least twenty.
She lays out three initial phases of grief--shock, disorganization, and reconstruction--and then adds two more to convey the lifelong element of grief--synthesis and transcendence. She lays out a framework, which she calls the SOAR solution--an acronym for Spirituality, Outreach, Attitude, and Reinvestment--for making the loss meaningful and as a pathway to reach transcendence.
The author interviewed 50 people who had lost a loved one, to write this book. So she did the legwork and research, and doesn't seem to be preaching without any foundation for her observations. The variety of grievers included--those who lost a parent, sibling, spouse, child, or multiple people--make it easy for this book to be applicable to many grievers, and not a specific subgroup such as widows or widowers.
In some ways, Prend's approach is simpler and more streamlined than the descriptions or stages of grief described in other grief books. Also, some (many?) of the statements and observations that Prend makes are subtly different than those in other grief books, and as such it feels like a better, more accurate depiction than, for instance, Kubler-Ross's On Grief and Grieving does. That Prend looks at the long-term and lifelong effects of grief is certainly unique.
And ultimately, this book *is* about hope, that you can survive, thrive, and have an enriching life, even after experiencing the trauma of a loved one dying. All in all, this is one of the best self-help books on grief that I've read in the last three years, of which I've probably read at least twenty.
December 3, 2021
This was just what I needed. I’ve had the book for awhile, but didn’t feel ready to hear the message until now.
May 20, 2013
Perfect thing to read at this point in my life. Also, I like her stages of grief (shock, disorganization, reconstruction, synthesis) a lot better than anything else I've read. Synthesis especially makes sense to me - you have to synthesize this loss into your life, because it's never going away.
Her path to making loss meaningful is through Spirituality, Outreach (not necessarily formally volunteering, but just reaching out to others going through a painful time), Attitude (how you approach life) and Reinvestment. She posits that you don't have to have all 4 of these, but even one adds meaning to the loss and allows you to transcend the point where the loss controls you.
Her path to making loss meaningful is through Spirituality, Outreach (not necessarily formally volunteering, but just reaching out to others going through a painful time), Attitude (how you approach life) and Reinvestment. She posits that you don't have to have all 4 of these, but even one adds meaning to the loss and allows you to transcend the point where the loss controls you.
November 13, 2022
Practical and helpful framework for grief work and reframing your relationship with a deceased loved one and life itself. Probably best read a couple of months after the loss itself to find a new perspective.
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February 24, 2024Read many years ago. One of the best books on dealing with grief! I’ve given a couple copies.
June 26, 2008
I love this book. I began to cry just reading the preface. The author gives words to grief that you are sure no one else can understand. The friends I have given it to report the same sense of relief when reading this book...someone understands my loss, my grief, and the never ending lesson of moving forward with the gift of a soul that once was in my life.
September 23, 2019
My grief counselor recommended this book to me about a year after my husband died. It was probably one of the best books about grief that I ever read. It explained grief in a different way that I could understand how I was feeling and how to walk through grief in a healthy way. Have recommended this book to so many people.
April 30, 2009
This book might be more useful at some point, but the author speaks in such generalities that for now it's not helpful. I'm more in need of the how of the process than to stand in amazement at the results at this point.
January 2, 2017
This book really helped me with my long term grief because it had a lot of stories about real people and the different things that they go through over the years as their grief changes but never goes away. I highly recommend it to anyone who has experienced the loss of someone close to them.
January 25, 2017
After all is said and done, I found it minimally helpful. A large factor is the religion/spirituality piece. If you are not inclined in that way, the book leaves you with large gaps in the healing process.
January 11, 2014
Moving on after the death of a loved one
April 24, 2014
One of the better books on grief I have read.
December 19, 2019
I highly recommend this book for dealing with the loss of a loved one.
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews