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Bound by Love - The journey of Lily Nie and thousands of China's forsaken children
Born into the turmoil of China's struggle to establish itself in the world, Lily Nie's life is marked by opposing forces and an enduring will to find her own way. Raised in tradition-bound China, she wrestles with internal and external pressures, striking out on a journey from her homeland to America and back again. As the powers of survival and love bring her slowly and steadily into a world of abandoned children struggling to survive in China's orphanages, the strength of Lily's soul gathers, at times calm and soothing and at times a churning force sweeping away the obstacles that keep families from coming together. Out of moments of brokenness - the pain of betrayal and the grief of holding the body of a child never given a chance to live - Lily finds the power and persistence to change the lives of thousands of forsaken children, and generations to come.
- GenresAdoptionNonfictionChina
290 pages, Paperback
First published September 1, 2010
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Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews
January 30, 2011
Beautiful story of Lily Nie's life so far and of the beginnings of Chinese Children Adoption International (the agency through which our daughter came to us). The writing is just decent, but the story is really quite fascinating. Lily and Josh came to the States speaking little English, and with little more than the clothes on their backs -- but Lily remembered seeing China's "lost daughters" in a social work institute, a memory that would stick with her until she was able to find a way to give them families. If you have been touched by Chinese adoption, and especially if you are linked in any way with CCAI, then you will be touched by this book. I recommend many tissues as the tales of the early adoptions will wring your heart out. The final pages of the book list every child that CCAI has linked with families, in order by travel group. The first thing we did, of course, was turn there and hunt out our child's name!
December 29, 2010
Linda Droeger tells the story of a woman from China who started an adoption agency here in Colorado with her husband. They have helped thousands of children to be adopted by couples here in Colorado, as well as reforming orphanages in China. I cried reading about the terrible conditions the children lived with as orphans. It was well written, touching, and heart wrenching. It was also inspiring to see the incredible difference one couple could make in a horrendous situation.
March 28, 2025
An interesting story about someone I knew as “Big Lily” growing up. Not a fan of the writing style, but the author is a newspaper journalist not a traditional novelist. I thought the second half flowed a lot better than the first
May 1, 2014
WOW... there are extraordinary people and there are EXTRA-ORDINARY people. Couldn't put the book down. This book is all the more special to me because it is the story behind the start of the adoption agency we used to bring our daughters to us.
The chapters go year by year to tell us where they were in their lives at that particular time. Each step, each veer in the road, each breath leading them to their life's work. As I read, I was remembering where we were during that year and how each disappointment and loss we experienced put us on the path to collide with them years later.
In 1991 I saw a documentary on the Chinese orphanages and felt a tug on my soul. In 1992 Lily read in a Chinese paper that China was opening it's door to adoptions. I felt like part of my destiny involved going to China to get one of those babies but I had no idea where to begin as there was no one doing adoptions from China at that time. Subsequently, it would be several years before the red thread began to unravel and pull us (over an ocean) to the doorsteps of CCAI.
Lily and Joshua had no idea to start either but jumped right in to do a "few" adoptions and are now responsible in part for changing the face of orphanages throughout China and saving not only the ones placed for adoption but for saving the one's left behind.
Their story is in part our story and our daughters story.... a story of loss and doubt and questioning followed by a series of serendipitous moments leading to the moment/s where we all collided in a wondrous, spectacular array to find what we were all yearning for.
There are soooo many invisible red threads leading to Lily and Joshua that I can only imagine the spectacular design that is unseen to all of us - but felt in our hears and souls.
This is a story of how two people who came to America with nothing but determination, found their life's purpose and thus changed the lives of thousands which will in turn change the life of each following generation.
The chapters go year by year to tell us where they were in their lives at that particular time. Each step, each veer in the road, each breath leading them to their life's work. As I read, I was remembering where we were during that year and how each disappointment and loss we experienced put us on the path to collide with them years later.
In 1991 I saw a documentary on the Chinese orphanages and felt a tug on my soul. In 1992 Lily read in a Chinese paper that China was opening it's door to adoptions. I felt like part of my destiny involved going to China to get one of those babies but I had no idea where to begin as there was no one doing adoptions from China at that time. Subsequently, it would be several years before the red thread began to unravel and pull us (over an ocean) to the doorsteps of CCAI.
Lily and Joshua had no idea to start either but jumped right in to do a "few" adoptions and are now responsible in part for changing the face of orphanages throughout China and saving not only the ones placed for adoption but for saving the one's left behind.
Their story is in part our story and our daughters story.... a story of loss and doubt and questioning followed by a series of serendipitous moments leading to the moment/s where we all collided in a wondrous, spectacular array to find what we were all yearning for.
There are soooo many invisible red threads leading to Lily and Joshua that I can only imagine the spectacular design that is unseen to all of us - but felt in our hears and souls.
This is a story of how two people who came to America with nothing but determination, found their life's purpose and thus changed the lives of thousands which will in turn change the life of each following generation.
February 26, 2014
I LOVED this book. It's about a woman named Lily and her story of how she was raised in China, met and married her husband, Joshua, their immigration to the U.S., which in itself was unusual because of the way her future husband obtained his student visa, and how they came to start a Chinese-American adoption agency. This agency, Chinese Children Adoption International, is based in Denver, near the area where I live and it's very common to see adopted Chinese girls in this area. It makes me smile when I see them. It's very apparent that this agency came about by divine intervention.
We also have very good friends who have adopted through this agency. Three of them are mentioned in this book, which took my breath away, when I came upon their picture and then read their story.
I was at baby showers for two of these little girls.
It is amazing how much one or two people can do when they are determined. This book was published in 2000 and written by a woman who also adopted from the agency. The agency has been responsible for bringing well over 8,000 girls to America at the time of publication and they are still bringing them.
I am Blessed to know 4 of these little ones:
Kelsea, Group 9 from Anui, who is a wonderful young teenager,
Quinn, Group 131, Guangdong, also a teenager, whom I haven't seen in awhile,
Jade, Group 340, Guangdong,a lively, sweet preteen, and
Asia, Group 589, Guangdong, a precocious, sweet preteen.
It would be good to read The Waiting Child, how the love and faith of one child saved the life of another, by Cindy Champnella.
It's probably a good thing I'm well above the age limit to adopt since I would NEVER be able to go over to China without wanting to bring as many girls as possible home.
We also have very good friends who have adopted through this agency. Three of them are mentioned in this book, which took my breath away, when I came upon their picture and then read their story.
I was at baby showers for two of these little girls.
It is amazing how much one or two people can do when they are determined. This book was published in 2000 and written by a woman who also adopted from the agency. The agency has been responsible for bringing well over 8,000 girls to America at the time of publication and they are still bringing them.
I am Blessed to know 4 of these little ones:
Kelsea, Group 9 from Anui, who is a wonderful young teenager,
Quinn, Group 131, Guangdong, also a teenager, whom I haven't seen in awhile,
Jade, Group 340, Guangdong,a lively, sweet preteen, and
Asia, Group 589, Guangdong, a precocious, sweet preteen.
It would be good to read The Waiting Child, how the love and faith of one child saved the life of another, by Cindy Champnella.
It's probably a good thing I'm well above the age limit to adopt since I would NEVER be able to go over to China without wanting to bring as many girls as possible home.
February 4, 2014
Our daughter is listed in the back pages of this book as one of the children adopted though the Colorado adoption agency founded by Lily and Joshua. After reading Lily's story I was struck by the **amazing impossible odds** that brought our sweet daughter into our lives. I was riveted from the first page. Even if you are not an adoptive family, this book is an amazing personal true story of life in China. Some of it is heartbreaking. Thank goodness for the love and courage of Lily Nie.
December 30, 2010
The story of how all Chinese adoptions began. It was really great to see my friends Patty and Darrels story in print. And most special to have both my daughters listed in the back included with all of Lily's kids.
January 6, 2024
3.5 stars
We adopted two children through CCAI, though not from China. I really appreciated learning more about how CCAI started and about Josh and Lily's stories. This book is focused more on Lily and her work, but Josh is a central focus as well.
One thing missing from this book is the voice of the adoptees whose stories are featured here. There is a lot about the adoptive families and, of course, about Lily Nie, but almost nothing from the perspective of the adoptees. As this book was first published in 2010, many of those adoptees would have been nearing adulthood. I am curious how they feel now, as adults, about their experiences after adoption.
This book highlights the societal and systemic problems in China that led to a crisis in orphan care. It's heartbreaking to read about how China's one child policy, its devaluing of girls, extreme poverty, and many other societal problems led to so many baby girls being orphaned. Instead of addressing those problems, it seemed they just decided to allow foreigners to adopt these babies instead. Of course, change takes time, and problems do not mend overnight. Still, the pain caused to these children cannot be undone and the scars will stay with them their entire lives. Being adopted does not mend all wounds. Adoption in itself is a wound.
One thing I especially appreciate about Lily Nie is her desire to help the children still in China. She has worked to improve orphanages (by building new ones, renovating old ones, training nannies, and more), support and improve foster care, endeavor to match children who were older or had special needs with families, and much more. Additionally, she and Josh focused on supporting children and families after adoption with counseling, support, and cultural education. All of these things are so important to adoptees and adoptive families.
Parts of this book felt a little like the babies were seen as commodities (one mom said after her first baby died of measles while they were in China for their pickup trip, "I'm not leaving China without a baby.") I do think Lily Nie's focus was more on finding families for children, rather than finding children for families. However, you get the sense with a lot of the early groups that these parents were desperate for babies and didn't care all that much how they got them.
One other note - in this book it mentions that Josh had an affair while in China on one of the adoption trips. It deeply disturbed me that in the discussion of this situation, the book talked about how Lily needed to put the past in the past and forgive Josh and move on. I don't know if that is what Lily herself said, but a wife whose husband has been unfaithful is under no obligation to forget about it and move on. Josh betrayed her trust in a huge way and that is no small thing. Forgiveness does not always mean letting someone back into your life in the same capacity, unless that is what you choose to do. I don't know if the author meant to downplay what Josh did (she did mention him being deeply sorry and working to earn back trust), but I don't know. It just came across all wrong to me.
We adopted two children through CCAI, though not from China. I really appreciated learning more about how CCAI started and about Josh and Lily's stories. This book is focused more on Lily and her work, but Josh is a central focus as well.
One thing missing from this book is the voice of the adoptees whose stories are featured here. There is a lot about the adoptive families and, of course, about Lily Nie, but almost nothing from the perspective of the adoptees. As this book was first published in 2010, many of those adoptees would have been nearing adulthood. I am curious how they feel now, as adults, about their experiences after adoption.
This book highlights the societal and systemic problems in China that led to a crisis in orphan care. It's heartbreaking to read about how China's one child policy, its devaluing of girls, extreme poverty, and many other societal problems led to so many baby girls being orphaned. Instead of addressing those problems, it seemed they just decided to allow foreigners to adopt these babies instead. Of course, change takes time, and problems do not mend overnight. Still, the pain caused to these children cannot be undone and the scars will stay with them their entire lives. Being adopted does not mend all wounds. Adoption in itself is a wound.
One thing I especially appreciate about Lily Nie is her desire to help the children still in China. She has worked to improve orphanages (by building new ones, renovating old ones, training nannies, and more), support and improve foster care, endeavor to match children who were older or had special needs with families, and much more. Additionally, she and Josh focused on supporting children and families after adoption with counseling, support, and cultural education. All of these things are so important to adoptees and adoptive families.
Parts of this book felt a little like the babies were seen as commodities (one mom said after her first baby died of measles while they were in China for their pickup trip, "I'm not leaving China without a baby.") I do think Lily Nie's focus was more on finding families for children, rather than finding children for families. However, you get the sense with a lot of the early groups that these parents were desperate for babies and didn't care all that much how they got them.
One other note - in this book it mentions that Josh had an affair while in China on one of the adoption trips. It deeply disturbed me that in the discussion of this situation, the book talked about how Lily needed to put the past in the past and forgive Josh and move on. I don't know if that is what Lily herself said, but a wife whose husband has been unfaithful is under no obligation to forget about it and move on. Josh betrayed her trust in a huge way and that is no small thing. Forgiveness does not always mean letting someone back into your life in the same capacity, unless that is what you choose to do. I don't know if the author meant to downplay what Josh did (she did mention him being deeply sorry and working to earn back trust), but I don't know. It just came across all wrong to me.
April 10, 2025
Don't think I read a sentence of this book with a dry eye. I was admittedly not super looking forward to this book because I believed it would be some pretty boring nonfiction but I was gladly super wrong. The only thing keeping this from 5 stars for me is the beginning, while it was super interesting, I was often confused when we were switching back and forth between grandparents. It's tough too when the Chinese names are not as familiar so my brain just glosses over who we're talking about. I also wish there were more about JCCC, where I spent most Saturdays growing up. This book made me feel super grateful for my journey here and the work that went into CCAI's success. My heart was just aching for those babies.
人没有吃不了的苦, 也没有享不了的福
There is no hardship a human cannot bear,
no blessing she cannot enjoy
生儿大喜，生女小喜
It is a great happiness to have a son,
It is a small happiness to have a daughter
人没有吃不了的苦, 也没有享不了的福
There is no hardship a human cannot bear,
no blessing she cannot enjoy
生儿大喜，生女小喜
It is a great happiness to have a son,
It is a small happiness to have a daughter
December 29, 2019
I read this surrounding the adoption of our daughter from China. It is the amazing story of our agency's founders Lily and Joshua, both Chinese. Their journey to American for Joshua to attend seminary is nothing short of miraculous. Our daughter is one of the more than 12 thousand they have helped find families through CCAI, Chinese Children Adoption International. I am so thankful for this account of their testimonies of their history in China, coming to Christ, their journey to America and starting an adoption agency.
September 6, 2018
Loved reading about Lily Nie and her journey to America and starting an adoption agency. As an adoptive mama I loved reading about the journey of those pursuing international adoption. I found myself going to their website and dreaming of affording an international adoption!
August 29, 2020
A moving and inspiring account of the journey to make a real difference for abandoned children.
September 2, 2015
I read this whole book in an evening; it was a quick, easy read, and painted a picture of China I didn't know existed. After spending nearly a decade as a student of history, I had inadvertantly ignored the history of China, especially that of the 20th Century. Though a biography and not a compilation of years of well-cited research, the book is one that offers a very unique perspective of the introduction of Chinese orphans into American society as told by a Chinese woman, herself.
June 27, 2011
Book about the founders of the agency we used for our China adoption. Such a neat story. Hard work, lots of obstacles to overcome, perseverance, etc. I will say the story was filled with some cliche fluff, but overlooking that, worth the read
October 31, 2014
I thoroughly enjoyed this true story I didn't think the writing was absolutely 5 star, but the story and the characters were.
June 13, 2013
Having adopted 3 daughters from China, this was a must read. Very real, sometimes very sad.
August 14, 2016
It's not necessarily the best written book I've read, but I loved reading about the start of this adoption agency and all the adoptive parents and adopted children whose lives have been changed.
Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews