The Ofsted Murders

by Gary Sargent

Something odd is happening after dark in Britain’s schools… Ofsted, the schools’ Inspectorate, are deeply worried. To lose one inspector in the line of duty might be considered a misfortune, but to have four inspectors lured into school after hours, dispatched, and left in outlandish poses before a cryptic message scrawled on the blackboard - that just looks like carelessness. Helen Haversham, Year 1 teacher at Hornby Infants School, is also worried. Both Ofsted and Christmas are coming. Her displays are up, her paperwork is done, and she has read the Head’s memo explicitly forbidding ritual homicide, and yet something doesn’t seem quite right… Who has been making midnight visits to the school? What has so unhinged the leader of the Ofsted team? How can she stop the class guinea pig from going on another dirty protest? If Helen can’t answer these questions by Friday story time, then the school’s end of term carol concert and Nativity is going to come to a truly unforgettable climax…

276 pages, Paperback

First published November 12, 2009

Reviews

[Bradley · Rating 2 out of 5]

A crime parody written about such a niche area was always going to be an interesting read! I wasn't quite sure what I was expecting going into this novel, but it wasn't the plot that Sargent gave. There are shining moments which I actually laughed aloud at, however for me the ending fell a little flat as it became more and more convoluted. Other people who have worked in schools and Ofsted inspections might find this book amusing, I just hope they find the ending more fitting than I did.

[lyds · Rating 3 out of 5]

As a teacher, this book was like a warm, cosy cup of tea. Murder mystery parody. Felt like I was sticking it to the man. However, the ending is a bit of a curve ball and took it down to three stars. It felt like the author wrote himself into a hole. Good fun though!

[C.Denby · Rating 2 out of 5]

Tried to read it twice but gave up as it was still ridiculous. There were some moments of hilarity as the knowledge of small children’s behaviour was spot on but the rest was descending into fantasy.

[Chriss Corkscrew · Rating 2 out of 5]

Quite enjoyed this light-hearted murder mystery but it got really stupid at the end and I'm still not sure what it was all about.

[T · Rating 3 out of 5]

Light, quick read.

[Emma Carter · Rating 1 out of 5]

I so wanted to love this book, unfortunately I could not finish it

[Sasha Houson · Rating 4 out of 5]

I picked up this book as part of a book swap scheme we have going on at the school I work at. I genuinely really enjoyed reading this book however the one thing that ruined it for me was the ending. There was so much going on in the book and the last sentence was something ridiculous like "and they both left shutting the gate behind them" - just think it's a bit boring...

[Liz Dawson · Rating 2 out of 5]

Having worked in the U.K education sector and been through my fairshare of Ofsted inspections, you'd think I'd really enjoy a book about inspectors getting bumped off, but no, I didn't. I get that it is supposed to be funny (in a tongue-in-cheek kind of way) but it just missed the mark for me. There were also so many, many analogies that I got quite confused as to what was actually happening at times. Poorly written, one dimensional characters didn't help and neither did the addition of a magical sub-plot which was thrown in halfway through and seemed totally out of place in the story. I won't be passing this on to my teacher friends, that's for sure.

[Ellie Whittaker]

ROFL!! the first 1/3 anyway, then it got a bit weird and then it plopped a bit at the end (albeit tied all the many loose ends together!) ... A rollicking fun read if you in schools and subjected to OFSTED inspections!

[Colin · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had low expectations going into this due to its niche appeal and slightly shonky small-press cover, and I almost gave up when, on the first page, the writer introduced a character named Loatheworthy (seriously?) but I stuck with it and was pleasantly surprised to find that it was actually a decently written comic novel - nothing fancy or cutting-edge, but just an old fashioned funny story such as you'd expect from a Colin Bateman or a Tom Sharpe with some nice turns of phrase and some cracking set-pieces, notably the exchanges between "Snoopy" and his henchmen.
Its main flaw was the weird magical subplot which felt like it was tacked on because the author couldn't think of a better way of dealing with the presence of a loaded shotgun in the story, but it should have either been fully developed or (better yet) just excised completely and maybe held over for a different book.
I've given it four stars because I have some contact with Oftsed inspections via social services, but maybe the average reader who doesn't relish the schadenfreude of seeing Oftsed inspectors brutally murdered might want the mentally downgrade that to a three.