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5 Conversations You Must Have with Your Son
From the cradle to college, tell your sons the truth about life before they believe the culture's lies.
For parents with boys newborn to eighteen, 5 Conversations You Must Have with Your Son will be as much a part of the boyhood journey as those Legos you're still finding under the sofa cushions and the garage full of sports equipment. Award-winning youth culture commentator Vicki Courtney helps moms and dads pinpoint and prepare the discussions that should be ongoing in a boy's formative years.
Fully addressing the dynamic social and spiritual issues and other influencers at hand, several chapters are written for each of the conversations, which
1. Don't define manhood by the culture's wimpy standards; it's okay to be a man!
2. What you don't learn to conquer may become your master.
3. Not everyone's doing it! (And other naked truths about sex you won't hear in the locker room.)
4. Boyhood is only for a season. P.S. It's time to grow up!
5. Godly men are in short supply-dare to become one!
The book also offers invaluable tips on having these conversations across the various stages of five and under, six to eleven, and twelve and up.
For parents with boys newborn to eighteen, 5 Conversations You Must Have with Your Son will be as much a part of the boyhood journey as those Legos you're still finding under the sofa cushions and the garage full of sports equipment. Award-winning youth culture commentator Vicki Courtney helps moms and dads pinpoint and prepare the discussions that should be ongoing in a boy's formative years.
Fully addressing the dynamic social and spiritual issues and other influencers at hand, several chapters are written for each of the conversations, which
1. Don't define manhood by the culture's wimpy standards; it's okay to be a man!
2. What you don't learn to conquer may become your master.
3. Not everyone's doing it! (And other naked truths about sex you won't hear in the locker room.)
4. Boyhood is only for a season. P.S. It's time to grow up!
5. Godly men are in short supply-dare to become one!
The book also offers invaluable tips on having these conversations across the various stages of five and under, six to eleven, and twelve and up.
272 pages, Paperback
First published May 2, 2011
111 people are currently reading
680 people want to read
About the author
Vicki Courtney
43 books52 followersVicki Courtney is the best-selling author of numerous books for women, tweens, and teen girls including, Motherhood Is Not Your Highest Calling, Rest Assured, Move On, 5 Conversations You Must Have With Your Daughter, 5 Conversations You Must Have With Your Son, and Between Us. She is the recipient of a Mom's Choice award and two ECPA Christian Book Awards. She and her husband, Keith reside in the Texas hill country and are the proud parents of three grown children and grandparents to ten grandchildren.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 58 reviews
February 11, 2014
In this book, the author focuses more on the reasons why you should cover these particular topics with your sons, and less on how to actually do it. The conversations are: 1. Don't define manhood by the culture's wimpy standards; it's okay to be a man! 2. What you don't learn to conquer may become your master. 3. Not everyone's doing it! (And other naked truths about sex you won't hear in the locker room.) 4. Boyhood is only for a season. P.S. It's time to grow up! 5. Godly men are in short supply-dare to become one!
I thought that the first conversation was totally unnecessary, and even offensive. It focuses on gender roles as specifically defined in America (Be rough and athletic! Skinny jeans are too androgynous! Lattes are for women!), and does not have much to do with God’s design for maleness and femaleness.
I thought that the first conversation was totally unnecessary, and even offensive. It focuses on gender roles as specifically defined in America (Be rough and athletic! Skinny jeans are too androgynous! Lattes are for women!), and does not have much to do with God’s design for maleness and femaleness.
March 21, 2019
Some good thoughts and great advice. I may agree on all points. A minor note: as a father, I wish the author would avoid the phrase “As mothers, we….” I would have written “As parents, we ….”
This bothers me further because I see it as part of the unquestioned paradigm of contemporary Christian publishing: men won’t set foot in a bookstore. Of course, that is false. We may not buy as many books as women, but don’t count us out. Publish books of merit, and men will buy them. Will men buy historical romances? No. Action-dramas centered on the coming-of-age of a young heroine? Rarely. But men will always buy well-written non-fiction, quality books about spiritual matters, and even books about family and parenting, if written with fathers (or both parents) in mind. And some of us will read good books even when they are written for women only.
Courtney, like Beth Moore and a dozen other female authors, has written a good book that will benefit fathers and mothers alike. I disagree with the publisher's decision to narrow every aspect of the book, from the cover photo to the text itself, to an all-female audience. Fathers would benefit from this book. And as former sons, they approach the material with perhaps even more interest than the mothers who make up the intended audience.
This bothers me further because I see it as part of the unquestioned paradigm of contemporary Christian publishing: men won’t set foot in a bookstore. Of course, that is false. We may not buy as many books as women, but don’t count us out. Publish books of merit, and men will buy them. Will men buy historical romances? No. Action-dramas centered on the coming-of-age of a young heroine? Rarely. But men will always buy well-written non-fiction, quality books about spiritual matters, and even books about family and parenting, if written with fathers (or both parents) in mind. And some of us will read good books even when they are written for women only.
Courtney, like Beth Moore and a dozen other female authors, has written a good book that will benefit fathers and mothers alike. I disagree with the publisher's decision to narrow every aspect of the book, from the cover photo to the text itself, to an all-female audience. Fathers would benefit from this book. And as former sons, they approach the material with perhaps even more interest than the mothers who make up the intended audience.
January 28, 2022
Christian moms of sons… must read. So much truth and wisdom.
July 26, 2013
I highly recommend this book to Christian moms with sons, preferably sons in their "tweens" or younger. The author presents important information, including statistics, on topics relevant to parenting tween/teen boys, and she does so in an engaging and often humorous way. She starts with the easiest (which isn't always easy): explaining that our sons are wired to live dangerously. Yes, I need to be reminded to let my son take chances and explore his limits. (Sigh!) But it gets harder from there. For example, the author talks extensively about the pervasiveness of pornography -- with super-easy access on the internet. She gives advice for preparing our sons to resist the temptation by showing that it's not just a moral issue but that viewing pornography can have long-lasting, harmful consequences. (Double sigh!) This section was painful to read -- left me feeling sad and hurting for my son with the challenges to godliness that still lie ahead of him. Still, it's so important to be aware of the influence a mom can have in explaining and modeling what is right and sound and good. It's so important to have these conversations while I can still influence his worldview, while he still seeks me out for wisdom and tells me everything that bothers him.
The weakness of this book, in my opinion, was the data on co-habitation, which I did not find compelling (though I certainly agree with the author that co-habitation is misguided in its purpose and far from the ideal way to begin a marriage). I found myself questioning the interpretation of the data she presented -- perhaps I could read further on the topic to find better arguments or be certain her interpretations are accurate and not just conjectures or possibilities.
However, overall, this book is important and very worthwhile. I highly recommend it.
The weakness of this book, in my opinion, was the data on co-habitation, which I did not find compelling (though I certainly agree with the author that co-habitation is misguided in its purpose and far from the ideal way to begin a marriage). I found myself questioning the interpretation of the data she presented -- perhaps I could read further on the topic to find better arguments or be certain her interpretations are accurate and not just conjectures or possibilities.
However, overall, this book is important and very worthwhile. I highly recommend it.
January 26, 2013
What a great book! Especially if you're a Christian mom raising boys for the first time. There are subjects in here...that I know I would have touched on, but I love her approach. I like that she backed up her ideas with scripture...and it was cute (and in places scary) with her added stories of her boys. I bought this as an e-book and highlighted many parts...especially in the "sex and pornography" area. I appreciate the way she thinks, and that she's mom enough to put it down for others to add to our knowledge banks!
It's not light stuff. She adds some comical moments about what happened in her life...and some others. She sights other places to find information and where she, at times, got her information. There are lots of resources and a ton of great stuff in this book!
The gist...You have GOT to keep in contact with your boys (and girls!)...and she gives great topics, that may or may not be easy for some parents to address. I love the way God made my boys...now to embrace those things...and jump in head first!
Looking forward to reading the "5 Conversations you must have with your Daughter"! (her tag line was Eve wasn't a size 0!) I'm gonna love that one too, I can tell!
If you have sons...and you're trying to raise them up to the great men God intended them to be...read this!
It's not light stuff. She adds some comical moments about what happened in her life...and some others. She sights other places to find information and where she, at times, got her information. There are lots of resources and a ton of great stuff in this book!
The gist...You have GOT to keep in contact with your boys (and girls!)...and she gives great topics, that may or may not be easy for some parents to address. I love the way God made my boys...now to embrace those things...and jump in head first!
Looking forward to reading the "5 Conversations you must have with your Daughter"! (her tag line was Eve wasn't a size 0!) I'm gonna love that one too, I can tell!
If you have sons...and you're trying to raise them up to the great men God intended them to be...read this!
February 21, 2013
E-book provided by NetGalley.
2 stars because: 1. "Misogynistic" doesn't even begin to describe how awfully prejudiced lots of poor generalizations here are. 2. Too many arguments based on religion. I don't think one needs religion to know right from wrong. 3. There is a quote similar to "I was describing the kind of girl I'd like my sons to stay away from and I realized I was describing myself when I was their age". Can you say "hypocrisy"?
This book has lots of things I had a problem with - but the author surely has a point here. She knows how to present her arguments in a logical, consistent, coherent way to defend her views and opinions. Reading it made me curious to read the "Five Conversations You Must Have with Your Daughter" one.
"A book for CHRISTIAN MOTHERS" describes this book better than "book for PARENTS".
2 stars because: 1. "Misogynistic" doesn't even begin to describe how awfully prejudiced lots of poor generalizations here are. 2. Too many arguments based on religion. I don't think one needs religion to know right from wrong. 3. There is a quote similar to "I was describing the kind of girl I'd like my sons to stay away from and I realized I was describing myself when I was their age". Can you say "hypocrisy"?
This book has lots of things I had a problem with - but the author surely has a point here. She knows how to present her arguments in a logical, consistent, coherent way to defend her views and opinions. Reading it made me curious to read the "Five Conversations You Must Have with Your Daughter" one.
"A book for CHRISTIAN MOTHERS" describes this book better than "book for PARENTS".
October 25, 2016
I wasn't too thrilled with this. I appreciate the general purpose of the book and even some of the proposed strategy, though much of it seemed like obvious common sense to me. I was turned off by her not so subtle jabs at feminism and those of us who align ourselves on the left side of the political aisle, as well as what came across as a very judgmental attitude and approach. As a divorced, single mother, I also grew weary and irritated at all the married gal talk, always immediately followed by the obligatory "if you're divorced my heart hurts for you" comments.
March 11, 2012
The author of this book was very opinionated. I did not agree with many things she had to say. She was a little too conservative, a little too "Texan", and a little too anti-feminist. There were a few good aspects of the book, but not one of my favorites on raising boys. Hey, if I survive the whole experience, maybe I'll write my own book. Parenting definitely is a learn as you go process!
June 26, 2012
I think this book offers some helpful and practical tips but I was slightly bothered by the way she made some generalizations about boys that did not always apply to my own children. It may not be the perfect fit for the parent of a boy who is more artistic or less athletic, but if read as a whole, it is probably good information to consider.
June 10, 2022
I read this book because it was referenced/quoted in another book I really enjoyed. I do think there were some valuable things in here, but it fell short for me for several reasons. Mainly, the term “5 conversations” implies that the book is about 5 specific conversations to have throughout your son’s childhood, when in reality the format of the book is much more sprawling and general than clear and concise. And the information is presented less as “conversations to have with your son” as it is “topics for mom to ponder pertaining to sons.” Also, this book claims to be applicable from “cradle to college,” but most of what it addresses relates to mothers of sons 13 years and up. Aside from the occasional nod to “laying a foundation,” very little was said about small boys, which is where I’m at in life right now. So perhaps a better title would be “5 broad and general topics to think about when raising teenage boys.” Not as catchy, I know. XD
While there are some helpful suggestions in this book, most of the meat of the content seems to be personal anecdotes, quoting other authors, listing off statistics, and repeating things that I’d term plain old common sense. There’s also a large amount of assumption going on— the author simply assumes her readers are on the same page with her theologically and in parenting style. (She says as much in the introduction with statements like: “if you picked up this book, then…”)
Because I do tend to agree with her for the most part, this wasn’t particularly bothersome, but I would’ve appreciated a chapter or introduction that laid out a basic statement of faith, worldview, and scriptural basis for her values. That way I could’ve headed into the parenting advice section fully equipped to know what I should filter. Just because someone claims to be a Christian author does not mean that you can take everything they say as biblically sound. And while I’m certainly not accusing this author of heresy, I was disappointed in how much of her “wisdom” was drawn from cultural sources (studies, statistics, and contemporary authors and psychologists) and personal experience rather than biblical truth. Which is sad, because I know she knows biblical truth; she just assumes everyone is on the same page as her without feeling the need to ground her claims in scripture. Because “if you picked up this book” you probably already know scripture, right? Um… biblical truth CANNOT BE OVERSTATED. We all need constant reminders. Just repeat it anyway, sister, even if everyone already knows it. It’s worth saying every time.
I’d treat this more as an overgrown mommy blog than a parenting book (complete with a condescending tone and a handful of editing errors, yikes.) It is well intended, but as I was reading, I felt like I was just chatting with another Christian mom, rather than receiving solid biblical teaching. Which of course there’s a time and place for. I just was expecting this book to pack a bigger punch.
(Also, directly quoting a one star Amazon review of one of your books in the text of another of your books is just in poor authorial taste IMHO.)
While there are some helpful suggestions in this book, most of the meat of the content seems to be personal anecdotes, quoting other authors, listing off statistics, and repeating things that I’d term plain old common sense. There’s also a large amount of assumption going on— the author simply assumes her readers are on the same page with her theologically and in parenting style. (She says as much in the introduction with statements like: “if you picked up this book, then…”)
Because I do tend to agree with her for the most part, this wasn’t particularly bothersome, but I would’ve appreciated a chapter or introduction that laid out a basic statement of faith, worldview, and scriptural basis for her values. That way I could’ve headed into the parenting advice section fully equipped to know what I should filter. Just because someone claims to be a Christian author does not mean that you can take everything they say as biblically sound. And while I’m certainly not accusing this author of heresy, I was disappointed in how much of her “wisdom” was drawn from cultural sources (studies, statistics, and contemporary authors and psychologists) and personal experience rather than biblical truth. Which is sad, because I know she knows biblical truth; she just assumes everyone is on the same page as her without feeling the need to ground her claims in scripture. Because “if you picked up this book” you probably already know scripture, right? Um… biblical truth CANNOT BE OVERSTATED. We all need constant reminders. Just repeat it anyway, sister, even if everyone already knows it. It’s worth saying every time.
I’d treat this more as an overgrown mommy blog than a parenting book (complete with a condescending tone and a handful of editing errors, yikes.) It is well intended, but as I was reading, I felt like I was just chatting with another Christian mom, rather than receiving solid biblical teaching. Which of course there’s a time and place for. I just was expecting this book to pack a bigger punch.
(Also, directly quoting a one star Amazon review of one of your books in the text of another of your books is just in poor authorial taste IMHO.)
September 6, 2022
I have read a lot of “boy mom” type books, but this one may be the best. Very good, practical advice and helpful information. I read the first edition written in 2011, but there is a second edition written in 2019 that I’m sure would be even more relevant. Definitely a must read for moms of boys. Especially helpful as we approach the preteen years with our oldest!
March 3, 2020
This book discusses topics that parents often don't know how to discuss with their sons and offers guidance on when and how to approach those topics in order to raise godly, responsible men. The book was ok, though I think the first half was much better than the second half. The author started to lose my interest a bit somewhere in chapter 9. Overall, there are some good nuggets in here but I'm not sure I would read it again. I had planned to read the girl's version, and I may still read it just out of curiosity; I'd like to see how she handles the things I disagreed with in the boys version when she's talking about how to handle these topics with girls.
I really like how she throws society's current gender roles (or lack thereof) out the window and discusses God's role for men. She discusses boys' natural desire for adventure and mayhem and talks about how to raise boys to be real men.
There were a couple things I really disagreed with:
1. When she discusses the consequences of teenage sex, she talks about the effects of getting a girl pregnant but she focuses on the financial responsibilities. She never once mentions the responsibility the boy/man has to be a father to that baby. I found this disappointing given the fact that if we are raising godly men, surely we should stress the importance of being there for the child and the responsibility to help raise and teach the child, not just send the mother money every month.
2. In chapter 11 she talks about premarital sex and in one section she talks about how to handle it if you suspect your boy is already having sex outside of marriage. She says this:
"Parents who are discussing birth control options with their sons are in a sense saying, "Hey, God's Word says to 'be holy', but since you insist on being 'less than holy', might I suggest a Plan B to help you cut your losses?" I could not say or do something that in good conscience may send a contradictory message to God's standards. and the truth is, if our sons are old enough to engage in sexual activity, they are certainly old enough to track down protection."
I understand what she is trying to say here but I don't agree. I think that stressing God's Word and God's role for sex inside of marriage should always be the focus BUT if my son is having sex and refuses to stop, I am going to ask him if he's using protection and make sure he knows the necessity of doing so. As parents, it is our job to make sure our kids are responsible and I find it totally irresponsible of a parent to not make sure our children are protecting themselves from a plethora of STDs or from becoming parents before they are ready.
3. In Chapter 12 she almost seemed to sound like she thinks kids should graduate high school and immediately start looking for a mate; that to delay marriage to any later than age 24 means they have no direction and will live on mom's couch forever. Yes, many men and women lack ambition and I understand her point about "Peter Pans" but it seemed like she had the attitude that delaying marriage or not marrying at all was not God's design. God has a design for marriage but I don't think it is ungodly to not marry, provided you can live without the things meant only for marriage.
The book gives one of many perspectives on how to talk to our sons about difficult topics. I took some important points from this book and will be integrating them into my parenting and the stuff I didn't agree with will be brain-dumped.
I really like how she throws society's current gender roles (or lack thereof) out the window and discusses God's role for men. She discusses boys' natural desire for adventure and mayhem and talks about how to raise boys to be real men.
There were a couple things I really disagreed with:
1. When she discusses the consequences of teenage sex, she talks about the effects of getting a girl pregnant but she focuses on the financial responsibilities. She never once mentions the responsibility the boy/man has to be a father to that baby. I found this disappointing given the fact that if we are raising godly men, surely we should stress the importance of being there for the child and the responsibility to help raise and teach the child, not just send the mother money every month.
2. In chapter 11 she talks about premarital sex and in one section she talks about how to handle it if you suspect your boy is already having sex outside of marriage. She says this:
"Parents who are discussing birth control options with their sons are in a sense saying, "Hey, God's Word says to 'be holy', but since you insist on being 'less than holy', might I suggest a Plan B to help you cut your losses?" I could not say or do something that in good conscience may send a contradictory message to God's standards. and the truth is, if our sons are old enough to engage in sexual activity, they are certainly old enough to track down protection."
I understand what she is trying to say here but I don't agree. I think that stressing God's Word and God's role for sex inside of marriage should always be the focus BUT if my son is having sex and refuses to stop, I am going to ask him if he's using protection and make sure he knows the necessity of doing so. As parents, it is our job to make sure our kids are responsible and I find it totally irresponsible of a parent to not make sure our children are protecting themselves from a plethora of STDs or from becoming parents before they are ready.
3. In Chapter 12 she almost seemed to sound like she thinks kids should graduate high school and immediately start looking for a mate; that to delay marriage to any later than age 24 means they have no direction and will live on mom's couch forever. Yes, many men and women lack ambition and I understand her point about "Peter Pans" but it seemed like she had the attitude that delaying marriage or not marrying at all was not God's design. God has a design for marriage but I don't think it is ungodly to not marry, provided you can live without the things meant only for marriage.
The book gives one of many perspectives on how to talk to our sons about difficult topics. I took some important points from this book and will be integrating them into my parenting and the stuff I didn't agree with will be brain-dumped.
November 20, 2014
Book description:
5 Conversations You Must Have with Your Son
by Vicki Courtney (Goodreads Author)
3.82 of 5 stars 3.82 · rating details · 143 ratings · 31 reviews
From the cradle to college, tell your sons the truth about life before they believe the culture's lies.
For parents with boys newborn to eighteen, 5 Conversations You Must Have with Your Son will be as much a part of the boyhood journey as those Legos you're still finding under the sofa cushions and the garage full of sports equipment. Award-winning youth culture commentator Vicki Courtney helps moms and dads pinpoint and prepare the discussions that should be ongoing in a boy's formative years.
Fully addressing the dynamic social and spiritual issues and other influencers at hand, several chapters are written for each of the conversations, which are:
1. Don't define manhood by the culture's wimpy standards; it's okay to be a man!
2. What you don't learn to conquer may become your master.
3. Not everyone's doing it! (And other naked truths about sex you won't hear in the locker room.)
4. Boyhood is only for a season. P.S. It's time to grow up!
5. Godly men are in short supply-dare to become one!
The book also offers invaluable tips on having these conversations across the various stages of development: five and under, six to eleven, and twelve and up.
Paperback, 272 pages
Published June 1st 2011 by B&H Books (first published May 2nd 2011)
REVIEW
I have been reading this book, sections at a time since I received it quite a while ago free for review. There are many string points that will help any parent and give you plenty to consider in how to properly guide your son (future man) in through out his childhood. I will refer to this book many times.
As with many books about raising our children, there will be things you agree with, things you don't, and things you never considered. I love that this book gave me many extra suggestions / excellent ideas to help my own son.
Growing up is tough and it is a parent's chief responsibility to educate themselves about TODAY ~ not back in the day when they were kids ~ educate and guide your children through THEIR childhood based on what the child needs to become a better man in the future.
We put our son in Cub Scouts hoping to get all that is offered to build his confidence, but have sadly found out that while leaders socialize and leave the young boys to themselves boys are still kicked out of games, told to shut up by other kids, & still sadly bullied & left out. Be aware of what is happening to your child and guide your child to proper behavior themselves. This book is full of good ideas & I will also be purchasing the accompanying book that goes with it.
5 Conversations You Must Have with Your Son
by Vicki Courtney (Goodreads Author)
3.82 of 5 stars 3.82 · rating details · 143 ratings · 31 reviews
From the cradle to college, tell your sons the truth about life before they believe the culture's lies.
For parents with boys newborn to eighteen, 5 Conversations You Must Have with Your Son will be as much a part of the boyhood journey as those Legos you're still finding under the sofa cushions and the garage full of sports equipment. Award-winning youth culture commentator Vicki Courtney helps moms and dads pinpoint and prepare the discussions that should be ongoing in a boy's formative years.
Fully addressing the dynamic social and spiritual issues and other influencers at hand, several chapters are written for each of the conversations, which are:
1. Don't define manhood by the culture's wimpy standards; it's okay to be a man!
2. What you don't learn to conquer may become your master.
3. Not everyone's doing it! (And other naked truths about sex you won't hear in the locker room.)
4. Boyhood is only for a season. P.S. It's time to grow up!
5. Godly men are in short supply-dare to become one!
The book also offers invaluable tips on having these conversations across the various stages of development: five and under, six to eleven, and twelve and up.
Paperback, 272 pages
Published June 1st 2011 by B&H Books (first published May 2nd 2011)
REVIEW
I have been reading this book, sections at a time since I received it quite a while ago free for review. There are many string points that will help any parent and give you plenty to consider in how to properly guide your son (future man) in through out his childhood. I will refer to this book many times.
As with many books about raising our children, there will be things you agree with, things you don't, and things you never considered. I love that this book gave me many extra suggestions / excellent ideas to help my own son.
Growing up is tough and it is a parent's chief responsibility to educate themselves about TODAY ~ not back in the day when they were kids ~ educate and guide your children through THEIR childhood based on what the child needs to become a better man in the future.
We put our son in Cub Scouts hoping to get all that is offered to build his confidence, but have sadly found out that while leaders socialize and leave the young boys to themselves boys are still kicked out of games, told to shut up by other kids, & still sadly bullied & left out. Be aware of what is happening to your child and guide your child to proper behavior themselves. This book is full of good ideas & I will also be purchasing the accompanying book that goes with it.
June 10, 2013
"From the cradle to college, tell your sons the truth about life before they believe the culture's lies.
For parents with boys newborn to eighteen, 5 Conversations You Must Have with Your Son will be as much a part of the boyhood journey as those Legos you're still finding under the sofa cushions and the garage full of sports equipment. Award-winning youth culture commentator Vicki Courtney helps moms and dads pinpoint and prepare the discussions that should be ongoing in a boy's formative years.
Fully addressing the dynamic social and spiritual issues and other influencers at hand, several chapters are written for each of the conversations" (goodreads.com)
The book was written in a easy to read fashion and having the conversations separated you could flip back to them as a reference when needed.
The conversations are:
1. Don't define manhood by the culture's wimpy standards; it's okay to be a man!
As the author states, our society has gone to a largely androgynous society. Men and women tend to blend together. In the process men have been emasculated by the media. Watch a couple commercials they always show a man ruled by a woman and clueless if she is not around. Well the Marlboro man minus the smoke is making a comeback. Men are the ones tired of being put down now. They are taking back their fashion and looking more like men. The basic idea of this conversation is to let boys know its ok to be a boy. Our job as mothers is to build on the masculinity and raise them to be noblemen.
2. What you don't learn to conquer may become your master.
There will be temptations all around. Our job is to raise boys who make wise choices. Once someone gives into temptations multiple times it becomes a habit and eventually that habit rules you. You have to have it. May it be sex, drugs, pornography. There are two lines our boys need to understand number one being the external forces, everything going on outside. The second are internal factors. We as parents are a large external factor to our boys. More than we know. We help them learn self control.
3. Not everyone's doing it! (And other naked truths about sex you won't hear in the locker room.)
The sex talk but a little more. This talk goes deeper than just the mechanics of sex.
4. Boyhood is only for a season. P.S. It's time to grow up!
There comes a time when our boys must grow up and move out. Right now we have a whole generation of Peter pans. Living with mommy and daddy with no real responsibilities. Topics such as marriage are included as well.
5. Godly men are in short supply-dare to become one!
All about role models.
Overall it is a easy read and easy to follow. There are also internet resources listed as well.
For parents with boys newborn to eighteen, 5 Conversations You Must Have with Your Son will be as much a part of the boyhood journey as those Legos you're still finding under the sofa cushions and the garage full of sports equipment. Award-winning youth culture commentator Vicki Courtney helps moms and dads pinpoint and prepare the discussions that should be ongoing in a boy's formative years.
Fully addressing the dynamic social and spiritual issues and other influencers at hand, several chapters are written for each of the conversations" (goodreads.com)
The book was written in a easy to read fashion and having the conversations separated you could flip back to them as a reference when needed.
The conversations are:
1. Don't define manhood by the culture's wimpy standards; it's okay to be a man!
As the author states, our society has gone to a largely androgynous society. Men and women tend to blend together. In the process men have been emasculated by the media. Watch a couple commercials they always show a man ruled by a woman and clueless if she is not around. Well the Marlboro man minus the smoke is making a comeback. Men are the ones tired of being put down now. They are taking back their fashion and looking more like men. The basic idea of this conversation is to let boys know its ok to be a boy. Our job as mothers is to build on the masculinity and raise them to be noblemen.
2. What you don't learn to conquer may become your master.
There will be temptations all around. Our job is to raise boys who make wise choices. Once someone gives into temptations multiple times it becomes a habit and eventually that habit rules you. You have to have it. May it be sex, drugs, pornography. There are two lines our boys need to understand number one being the external forces, everything going on outside. The second are internal factors. We as parents are a large external factor to our boys. More than we know. We help them learn self control.
3. Not everyone's doing it! (And other naked truths about sex you won't hear in the locker room.)
The sex talk but a little more. This talk goes deeper than just the mechanics of sex.
4. Boyhood is only for a season. P.S. It's time to grow up!
There comes a time when our boys must grow up and move out. Right now we have a whole generation of Peter pans. Living with mommy and daddy with no real responsibilities. Topics such as marriage are included as well.
5. Godly men are in short supply-dare to become one!
All about role models.
Overall it is a easy read and easy to follow. There are also internet resources listed as well.
June 20, 2019
Lots of good information. This book is very Christian, with lots of scripture quotes and discussion about becoming Godly men - so it may not be for everyone. I liked it and felt very similar to her thoughts on sex, porn, electronics, spiritual growth, and launching into society. The author talks a lot about why we should have these open discussions with our boys. I have already brought up a few topics with my teen boys, and the conversations went well. Parenting is so much tougher in the teen years, and it is really easy to make mistakes -so I'm just trying my best to figure things out. :)
November 28, 2011
In her book 5 conversations you must have with your son, Vicki Courtney invites us to talk to our sons about the important issues.
The five conversations are listed below:
Conversation 1: Don't define manhood by the culture's wimpy standards. It's OK to be a man!
Conversation 2: What you don't learn to conquer may become your master
Conversation 3: Not everyone's doing it! (And other naked truths about sex you won't hear in the locker room.)
Conversation 4: Boyhood is only for a season. P.S. It's time to grow up!
Conversation 5: Godly men are in short supply. Dare to become one!
I thoroughly enjoyed this book.
Although, I must admit - I was concerned in the first few chapters. Being a mother of 3 boys I have read so many books on raising boys and Vicki Courtney quotes from all but one book that I had already read. I was concerned that the book would be just be a series of quotes from other authors. But as I read on, the author, with her charming wit and humour reveals her own obvious wisdom on the topic of raising boys, and I am sure she will be quoted in future books on raising boys to come.
I happily recommend this book to mothers of boys. In this day and age of our boys being exposed to sexual images everywhere and can be one click away from pornography, Vicki Courtney gives brilliant advice on how to have these conversations with our sons, and to keep having them. In a world where the gender lines are blurred, the author encourages us to talk to our boys about their God given manhood and how to live it out. Parents of boys should have this book on their shelves. I felt empowered after reading this book to confidentially guide my sons through their adolescent years
The five conversations are listed below:
Conversation 1: Don't define manhood by the culture's wimpy standards. It's OK to be a man!
Conversation 2: What you don't learn to conquer may become your master
Conversation 3: Not everyone's doing it! (And other naked truths about sex you won't hear in the locker room.)
Conversation 4: Boyhood is only for a season. P.S. It's time to grow up!
Conversation 5: Godly men are in short supply. Dare to become one!
I thoroughly enjoyed this book.
Although, I must admit - I was concerned in the first few chapters. Being a mother of 3 boys I have read so many books on raising boys and Vicki Courtney quotes from all but one book that I had already read. I was concerned that the book would be just be a series of quotes from other authors. But as I read on, the author, with her charming wit and humour reveals her own obvious wisdom on the topic of raising boys, and I am sure she will be quoted in future books on raising boys to come.
I happily recommend this book to mothers of boys. In this day and age of our boys being exposed to sexual images everywhere and can be one click away from pornography, Vicki Courtney gives brilliant advice on how to have these conversations with our sons, and to keep having them. In a world where the gender lines are blurred, the author encourages us to talk to our boys about their God given manhood and how to live it out. Parents of boys should have this book on their shelves. I felt empowered after reading this book to confidentially guide my sons through their adolescent years
July 25, 2011
I must admit that when I was sent a copy of this book that I was not sure about reading it. I don’t have any children but I do have nephews. I like that Mrs. Courtney shares during the introduction that she is not an expert on children but just a mom. This started off the book in the right step for me. I don’t want to read about someone preaching to me about the do’s and don’t on how to raise a child.
Vicki Courtney breaks this book up into five different conversations…”Don’t define manhood by the culture’s wimpy standards. It’s ok to be a man! Conversation two” What you don’t learn to conquer may become your master. Conversation three” Not everyone is doing it! (And other naked truths about sex you won’t hear in the locker room) Conversation four” Boyhood is only for a season. P.S. It’s time to grow up! Conversation five “Godly men are ion short supply. Dare to become one! Each conversation is than broken down into chapters. Mrs. Courtney does good job of touching on each conversation and how it relates to present day. She gives helpful tips, references to information and even shares about her own stories about her sons. While, I do not have any children, for anyone who does or grandparents this book is worth checking out.
Vicki Courtney breaks this book up into five different conversations…”Don’t define manhood by the culture’s wimpy standards. It’s ok to be a man! Conversation two” What you don’t learn to conquer may become your master. Conversation three” Not everyone is doing it! (And other naked truths about sex you won’t hear in the locker room) Conversation four” Boyhood is only for a season. P.S. It’s time to grow up! Conversation five “Godly men are ion short supply. Dare to become one! Each conversation is than broken down into chapters. Mrs. Courtney does good job of touching on each conversation and how it relates to present day. She gives helpful tips, references to information and even shares about her own stories about her sons. While, I do not have any children, for anyone who does or grandparents this book is worth checking out.
July 28, 2012
If I had read this before reading Five Conversations You Must Have with Your Daughter it probably would have received the 4 stars, while that received the 3. It is a good book with solid information talking about things that must be talked about. It is, if you have both sons and daughters, highly repetitive of the first book. Don't get me wrong, there is a lot here that is not in the first book and makes it worth reading. However, large chunks of the first book are repeated. Verbatim. Copy/Paste was clearly used. For pages of information. I felt a little cheated by that.
February 8, 2017
With most parenting books I take a lot of this with a grain of salt. I am a Christian so that part didn't bother me, but atheists might want to stay away. Also, the first chapter was as load of crap. I seriously almost threw the book away after reading it.
I'm glad I persevered because the rest of it was useful. However, as another commenter pointed out, it doesn't go into much detail about how to broach the conversations. I think that would help since a lot of this is not stuff that's easy to talk about.
All in all, it's a worthwhile read for Christian mothers (Dad can read other books or discuss, but he wasn't the target audience for this book) who are raising boys. Good to start reading in the "tween" years, but fine to read at any stage in development.
I'm glad I persevered because the rest of it was useful. However, as another commenter pointed out, it doesn't go into much detail about how to broach the conversations. I think that would help since a lot of this is not stuff that's easy to talk about.
All in all, it's a worthwhile read for Christian mothers (Dad can read other books or discuss, but he wasn't the target audience for this book) who are raising boys. Good to start reading in the "tween" years, but fine to read at any stage in development.
June 7, 2019
Thoroughly enjoyed reading this book. A mixture of honesty, transparency, and vulnerability with a foundation of scripture in being a mom to sons. #boymoms
May 5, 2012
Vicki Courtney's 5 Conversations You Must Have with Your Son is unconventional: first, because it is written by a mother instead of a father; and second, because it is targeted at mothers. The book looks at how to talk to sons during their years under parental wings. It starts with arguments against the images of emasculated men as seen in automotive ads on TV and Super-Bowl commercials, and progresses to talk about manners, education, dating, personal health, religious disciplines, and even finances.
Read the rest of the review at: http://www.christianbookpreviews.com/...
Read the rest of the review at: http://www.christianbookpreviews.com/...
April 20, 2012
This book is intended for mom's to read about their sons but as a dad I found it of benefit. The main thrust of the book is to train up our sons to be godly, independent men who are able to leave the nest at an early age and provide for themselves. The books spends a lot of time debunking the pop culture myths of what a man is and how they should act. As parents we have to be bold in approaching our sons and be their primary teachers on sex, money, spiritual things, etc. this will be the best defense against them making life altering mistakes.
October 8, 2013
I'm not sure how I keep doing it but I seem to be picking up Christian parenting and marriage books without meaning to. The message in them isn't 100% "me" because I'm not practicing a religion but I do agree with a lot of the sentiments in this book about raising boys to be respectful of women and raising them to be, well, men...not "Peter Pan" (a man-child that still needs someone to take care of him well into his 20s and beyond.) Like all self-help or how-to books, I don't think this book is the end all but there were enough good parts to provide me some food for thought.
March 31, 2019
I reviewed this book for our church and was very impressed. I find it interesting that people are offended by the Christian overtones when that is the point of this entire book. It is meant for Christ followers to encourage them on raising men. I’ve long held the opinion that we are not raising children we are raising adults. My youngest son is 18 and I have done many things right, which is an encouragement. This book is not for the faint of heart though. They are candid conversations about difficult topics regarding sex.
August 18, 2011
I will read this book again every couple of years while raising my boys. The way Courtney presents information regarding how to talk to our boys about things like sex, porn, and much more is very reader and user-friendly. I appreciate the Christian perspective she brings to table, too, in regards to educating our kids about important life-changing topics - not overly conservative and in some ways more progressive than I often hear in Christian circles.
June 22, 2012
Like its counterpart for daughters, this is a sobering book that I would recommend to all moms and dads of boys. Some of the subject matter is really heavy, so thank goodness for Vicki Courtney's sense of humor and down-to-earth writing style. Rearing children is a huge responsibility and I'm thankful for authors like Mrs. Courtney who compile research and share their experiences and successes.
July 23, 2015
I will recommend this book to all my Christian friends who are mothers raising sons. Vicki Courtney makes some excellent points. She tells it like it is with boys, and I will be a better mom because of it. She addresses some subjects that are difficult to broach in a very honest, caring, down-to-earth, mom-to-mom manner. 5 Conversations You Must Have With Your Son was worth the time it took me to read it.
July 15, 2011
I thought this book was okay. It gave me some things to think about, but there was a lot I didn't agree with, mainly because it seems to "pie in the sky" about some of the issues. I have the one for daughters and I am going to read that one next, but I have a feeling I will agree with it even less.
Want to read
August 11, 2011I'm not sure that I will agree with the points this author makes, based on the chapter titles. But I think it is worth a look. I like to gather a wide variety of information and opinions from others and then judge for myself and take from what I think is good.
July 3, 2012
My sons are younger and I found most of this book is more appropriate for older (pre-teen or teen) boys. But overall I thought it had a lot of good advice. I need to read it every year or so for a refresher as my boys get older.
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