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Shit My Dad (Never) Says
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Let’s admit it. Most dads say a lot of sh*t. But unfortunately, what they say is usually not even worth writing down. That’s because they have about as much wit as a sack of flour.
Justin Halpern’s dad is the rare exception. His dad’s sh*t is funny because it is just so stupid and ridiculous. This book is both a parody and a tribute to the book Sh*t My Dad Says. This book is a carefully selected collection of things that dads most definitely would never say, just because these sayings are actually clever, witty and smart. To that end, the wit of Oscar Wilde is indeed truly incomparable, and we have included such gems as
“Nowadays people know the price of everything and the value of nothing,” or
“Experience is merely the name men give to their mistakes,” or
“Anyone can sympathise with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathise with a friend's success.”
Compared to the typical sh*t that most dads would say, this book is actually pretty good reading!
SPECIAL KINDLE ENABLED
This edition has special Kindle enabled features, including itext-to-speech capabilities which enable audiobook features, as well as words that can be looked up on the Kindle supplied built in dictionary.
"Hilarious, witty and sh*t clever!"
"The humor parody that is even better than the original"
"You can't beat the Wilde-man, when it comes to the best sh*t talk in the world"
Let’s admit it. Most dads say a lot of sh*t. But unfortunately, what they say is usually not even worth writing down. That’s because they have about as much wit as a sack of flour.
Justin Halpern’s dad is the rare exception. His dad’s sh*t is funny because it is just so stupid and ridiculous. This book is both a parody and a tribute to the book Sh*t My Dad Says. This book is a carefully selected collection of things that dads most definitely would never say, just because these sayings are actually clever, witty and smart. To that end, the wit of Oscar Wilde is indeed truly incomparable, and we have included such gems as
“Nowadays people know the price of everything and the value of nothing,” or
“Experience is merely the name men give to their mistakes,” or
“Anyone can sympathise with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathise with a friend's success.”
Compared to the typical sh*t that most dads would say, this book is actually pretty good reading!
SPECIAL KINDLE ENABLED
This edition has special Kindle enabled features, including itext-to-speech capabilities which enable audiobook features, as well as words that can be looked up on the Kindle supplied built in dictionary.
"Hilarious, witty and sh*t clever!"
"The humor parody that is even better than the original"
"You can't beat the Wilde-man, when it comes to the best sh*t talk in the world"
58 pages, Kindle Edition
First published November 15, 2011
16 people are currently reading
841 people want to read
About the author
Oscar Wilde
5,509 books38.9k followersOscar Fingal O'Fflahertie Wills Wilde was an Irish poet and playwright. After writing in different forms throughout the 1880s, he became one of the most popular playwrights in London in the early 1890s. He is best remembered for his epigrams and plays, his novel The Picture of Dorian Gray, and his criminal conviction for gross indecency for homosexual acts.
Wilde's parents were Anglo-Irish intellectuals in Dublin. In his youth, Wilde learned to speak fluent French and German. At university, he read Greats; he demonstrated himself to be an exceptional classicist, first at Trinity College Dublin, then at Magdalen College, Oxford. He became associated with the emerging philosophy of aestheticism, led by two of his tutors, Walter Pater and John Ruskin. After university, Wilde moved to London into fashionable cultural and social circles.
Wilde tried his hand at various literary activities: he wrote a play, published a book of poems, lectured in the United States and Canada on "The English Renaissance" in art and interior decoration, and then returned to London where he lectured on his American travels and wrote reviews for various periodicals. Known for his biting wit, flamboyant dress and glittering conversational skill, Wilde became one of the best-known personalities of his day. At the turn of the 1890s, he refined his ideas about the supremacy of art in a series of dialogues and essays, and incorporated themes of decadence, duplicity, and beauty into what would be his only novel, The Picture of Dorian Gray (1890). Wilde returned to drama, writing Salome (1891) in French while in Paris, but it was refused a licence for England due to an absolute prohibition on the portrayal of Biblical subjects on the English stage. Undiscouraged, Wilde produced four society comedies in the early 1890s, which made him one of the most successful playwrights of late-Victorian London.
At the height of his fame and success, while An Ideal Husband (1895) and The Importance of Being Earnest (1895) were still being performed in London, Wilde issued a civil writ against John Sholto Douglas, the 9th Marquess of Queensberry for criminal libel. The Marquess was the father of Wilde's lover, Lord Alfred Douglas. The libel hearings unearthed evidence that caused Wilde to drop his charges and led to his own arrest and criminal prosecution for gross indecency with other males. The jury was unable to reach a verdict and so a retrial was ordered. In the second trial Wilde was convicted and sentenced to two years' hard labour, the maximum penalty, and was jailed from 1895 to 1897. During his last year in prison he wrote De Profundis (published posthumously in abridged form in 1905), a long letter that discusses his spiritual journey through his trials and is a dark counterpoint to his earlier philosophy of pleasure. On the day of his release, he caught the overnight steamer to France, never to return to Britain or Ireland. In France and Italy, he wrote his last work, The Ballad of Reading Gaol (1898), a long poem commemorating the harsh rhythms of prison life.
Wilde's parents were Anglo-Irish intellectuals in Dublin. In his youth, Wilde learned to speak fluent French and German. At university, he read Greats; he demonstrated himself to be an exceptional classicist, first at Trinity College Dublin, then at Magdalen College, Oxford. He became associated with the emerging philosophy of aestheticism, led by two of his tutors, Walter Pater and John Ruskin. After university, Wilde moved to London into fashionable cultural and social circles.
Wilde tried his hand at various literary activities: he wrote a play, published a book of poems, lectured in the United States and Canada on "The English Renaissance" in art and interior decoration, and then returned to London where he lectured on his American travels and wrote reviews for various periodicals. Known for his biting wit, flamboyant dress and glittering conversational skill, Wilde became one of the best-known personalities of his day. At the turn of the 1890s, he refined his ideas about the supremacy of art in a series of dialogues and essays, and incorporated themes of decadence, duplicity, and beauty into what would be his only novel, The Picture of Dorian Gray (1890). Wilde returned to drama, writing Salome (1891) in French while in Paris, but it was refused a licence for England due to an absolute prohibition on the portrayal of Biblical subjects on the English stage. Undiscouraged, Wilde produced four society comedies in the early 1890s, which made him one of the most successful playwrights of late-Victorian London.
At the height of his fame and success, while An Ideal Husband (1895) and The Importance of Being Earnest (1895) were still being performed in London, Wilde issued a civil writ against John Sholto Douglas, the 9th Marquess of Queensberry for criminal libel. The Marquess was the father of Wilde's lover, Lord Alfred Douglas. The libel hearings unearthed evidence that caused Wilde to drop his charges and led to his own arrest and criminal prosecution for gross indecency with other males. The jury was unable to reach a verdict and so a retrial was ordered. In the second trial Wilde was convicted and sentenced to two years' hard labour, the maximum penalty, and was jailed from 1895 to 1897. During his last year in prison he wrote De Profundis (published posthumously in abridged form in 1905), a long letter that discusses his spiritual journey through his trials and is a dark counterpoint to his earlier philosophy of pleasure. On the day of his release, he caught the overnight steamer to France, never to return to Britain or Ireland. In France and Italy, he wrote his last work, The Ballad of Reading Gaol (1898), a long poem commemorating the harsh rhythms of prison life.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 43 reviews
August 22, 2013
One of my favourite books, this book really cheers you up. Interesting family, I must say.
February 10, 2015
The only reason that I decided to give this book a shot is because of its catchy title. I am not a fan of non-fiction books especially inspirational ones. But this book really catches my attention because of its witty and blunt title. And despite my indifference towards motivational and “chicken soupy” books, I was really happy and fulfilled that I have read it.
This book was crazy! It was very fun to read! I never thought that I would enjoy it so much. Up until now, I can’t still help myself but laugh whenever I am reminded of the cute and funny daddy anecdotes or sayings in the book.
My dad is not as cool as the one described in the book. And I am not a man who can easily relate to some instances or situations in here, but I do understand how lucky the author was for having such a wonderful, funny and really awesome dad.
Justin Halpern’s dad is a real smart guy who speaks directly, frankly and hits every problem, big or bad, with really good mindset. Started as simple tweet posts that gained a good online following, publishers of this book and Justin himself, did a good job in turning these social media posts into print. Its impact to social media was intensified when it was laid out on paper.
The book is just amazing with its short and simple but witty remarks and narration of some of Justin’s experiences with his dad. The situations and experiences are real and very relatable. Some of the remarks are really noteworthy. Stories, aside from being absolutely humorous, are also heartwarming. You can feel the love and concern a man has for his sons and for his family.
Aside from laughing really hard, I was touched and even cried a little to some of Justin’s story. The stories were really wonderful and moving.
The book is also a good reminder of the love that our parents give us. No matter how bad or messed up we are, they are still willing to accept us. It reminds us that they are the most wonderful people that we have in this world.
As I have said, I am not into inspirational book, but this one is an exception. I don’t mind reading it again. And I might read it again soon.
It was an easy to read book that will make you laugh so hard and inspire you more. This book is a total killer.
For more book reviews: https://the12monthbookchallenge.wordp...
This book was crazy! It was very fun to read! I never thought that I would enjoy it so much. Up until now, I can’t still help myself but laugh whenever I am reminded of the cute and funny daddy anecdotes or sayings in the book.
My dad is not as cool as the one described in the book. And I am not a man who can easily relate to some instances or situations in here, but I do understand how lucky the author was for having such a wonderful, funny and really awesome dad.
Justin Halpern’s dad is a real smart guy who speaks directly, frankly and hits every problem, big or bad, with really good mindset. Started as simple tweet posts that gained a good online following, publishers of this book and Justin himself, did a good job in turning these social media posts into print. Its impact to social media was intensified when it was laid out on paper.
The book is just amazing with its short and simple but witty remarks and narration of some of Justin’s experiences with his dad. The situations and experiences are real and very relatable. Some of the remarks are really noteworthy. Stories, aside from being absolutely humorous, are also heartwarming. You can feel the love and concern a man has for his sons and for his family.
Aside from laughing really hard, I was touched and even cried a little to some of Justin’s story. The stories were really wonderful and moving.
The book is also a good reminder of the love that our parents give us. No matter how bad or messed up we are, they are still willing to accept us. It reminds us that they are the most wonderful people that we have in this world.
As I have said, I am not into inspirational book, but this one is an exception. I don’t mind reading it again. And I might read it again soon.
It was an easy to read book that will make you laugh so hard and inspire you more. This book is a total killer.
For more book reviews: https://the12monthbookchallenge.wordp...
April 25, 2011
Hilarious and touching :)
February 27, 2012
Absolutely hilarious!
December 10, 2013
4 stars, Wilde! Ha! You got me!
Well, the title was obviously catchy. I had 205 books on my shelves but man, you really made me open your book, outshined itself within the other books!
I love the humor, well, I would always fall inlove with humor.
Blunt, straight, i-don't-give-a-fuck-statements, what fathers should supposed to be. I learned that dealing with dillemmas, problems shouldn't supposed to be hard, and shouldn't be way to be taken too seriously. Behind those few swearing, there's the lesson always emphasized; Try to fix your own. Stand independently. Emotions will left you fucked up. Problems should be solved, don't be a crybaby. Humor ain't be the best medicine but atleast try to laugh.
Looking forward to read more of your works, Wilde.
Well, the title was obviously catchy. I had 205 books on my shelves but man, you really made me open your book, outshined itself within the other books!
I love the humor, well, I would always fall inlove with humor.
Blunt, straight, i-don't-give-a-fuck-statements, what fathers should supposed to be. I learned that dealing with dillemmas, problems shouldn't supposed to be hard, and shouldn't be way to be taken too seriously. Behind those few swearing, there's the lesson always emphasized; Try to fix your own. Stand independently. Emotions will left you fucked up. Problems should be solved, don't be a crybaby. Humor ain't be the best medicine but atleast try to laugh.
Looking forward to read more of your works, Wilde.
December 17, 2012
Giving this 5 stars would be the understatement of the year. Well, I read this book because I was quite intrigued of the title without any idea what this book is all about. So, when all the silly banter and bickering happened, I was caught off guard. The book is funny. You'll never regret reading it. Justin's dad can be really harsh but I can feel his love towards his son and that's without a doubt:)
Read
March 25, 2011Funny
Read
March 29, 2011Very enjoyable, humorous book to read.
April 23, 2011
Super fun and quick read
March 26, 2012
I was expecting to laugh and possibly relate to many of the stories. Instead, I found it to be somewhat tired and ordinary.
February 20, 2012
Laugh out loud funny...
March 15, 2012
It made me chuckle here and there. Can't say it was amazing but it's not a bad read. Worth the read.
August 19, 2012
wish I could have a cool dad like him
August 14, 2014
Hard to put down. It was an easy read and very enjoyable. It had me crying of laughter at some points.
May 31, 2012
A collection of vignettes and quotes, some very funny, from a life with a politically-incorrect dad. See https://twitter.com/#!/shitmydadsays for a flavour. Thoroughly entertaining.
June 8, 2012
laugh out loud funny!
August 5, 2014
I actually like this book. The dad is so honest, has the dirtiest mouth, but honest and you can tell he really cares for his son.
June 13, 2012
Thought it would be funnier. It just seemed to me that the guy's dad was hard-core and had an extreme potty mouth, and that was it. I was expecting something a bit more situational.
June 18, 2012
Funny! A little raw with the language, but loved it. Anyone who has a dad with minimal filters would appreciate it.
June 24, 2012
Laugh out loud funny....you will read it in a matter of hours.
July 9, 2012
Good quick funny read. :)
November 1, 2012
Quick read. Laugh out loud funny
December 14, 2012
Laugh out loud funny. But, you can never tell your kids why you are laughing!
December 17, 2012
Great book. Made me laugh when I needed it. Some of it reminded me of my Dad ... A very frank type of guy!
January 5, 2013
Narrative jokes. Its fun to read the book and doesn't mind few tips and hints. I didn't like the amount of S* words as the title suggested but its gets away with laughing hard at some moments.
May 14, 2013
Hilarious! But also very poignant.
Read
June 28, 2013Reminded me of my dad, it was touching, and sweet. The way he wrote it, you can picture these things coming out of his mouth. Too funny, I would suggest to anyone.
August 26, 2016
Awesome book. So many times it made me laugh out loud, so watch where you choose to read it.
June 18, 2014
Laughed out loud many times. If you are offended by crass language - do not read this...
If my own Dad had a sense of humor - he probably would have said this stuff too....I can totally relate.
If my own Dad had a sense of humor - he probably would have said this stuff too....I can totally relate.
March 26, 2014
I laughed a little - but my dad's bossy abrasive ego was way funnier. - at least it is now, 40 years later!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 43 reviews