Marquise’s status > Likes and Comments

Interesting question, Marquise. Thanks for asking.

I have met some wonderful friends here, that I definitely want to keep in touch with. So email is probably the way to go.

And yes, the only way I was able to form a deeper connection with them was through DMs. So I'm saddened to see them go. How do you think we can go about forming the same kind of connection without DMs?

Thibault wrote: "How do you think we can go about forming the same kind of connection without DMs?"

There's simply no other way, not even the groups feature is the same. You simply can't create deeper bonds without one-to-one interactions, be it in private by email/DMs/phone, or taking it from online to in person.

Everything else is simply strangers sharing a space, it's not friendship.

Marquise wrote: "There's simply no other way, not even the groups feature is the same. You simply can't create deeper bonds without one-to-one interactions, be it in private by email/DMs/phone, or taking it from online to in person."

I wish I could argue against that, but I do fear that you’re absolutely right. If even such an intelligent and wise person like you can’t think of a good alternative, then people like me don’t stand a chance. And it’s those deeper connections that a lot of people are looking for. Books are what brings us together, though it’s our connections with other people that keep us coming back for more.

I have made a lot of good friends here. I would say I am a better person because of it. Having the privacy to message a friend is essential for this process.

Most of my friendships have started in other places and then we friended each other here, but thankfully, many of the ones that's not the case for I have emails for or chat with on Discord now.

I've been here since 2009. So I've made many close friends here that I also am in contact with now, outside of this platform. But my main concern is as a Mod on this site. DMs going away will effectively shut down my and my fellow mods ability to govern our groups together, as well as when a personal issue crops up between members and it needs to be handled privately and not within the group or on the public platform.

Which AmaNazi wants I'm sure. Cause this then will give way to them stating how Out of hand groups are becoming and therefore they need to shut those down as well..

I see you AmaNazi. I know EXACTLY what your end game is here. Have known it since you showed your funky a&& on here, in 2013..

So, at the risk of sounding like a 3rd grader, AmaNazi, your momma's a ho! Phuck you and everyone like you who supports these actions.

Happy Friday Everyone!🤣

I have definitely made some endearing friendships here as I will certainly not being able to write privately...have emails and will will be using "good ole fascistbook" too as needed. So not impressive that this knee jerk type response seems to be their approach for blocking members from chatting privately :( They seem to be able to block trollers and or any other yahoos so this is dismaying. I do enjoy your question period section for that interaction!

This seems to be trend in itself to restrict communication on many platforms in a sense..."misinformation" is information that govt/those bought off so to speak with financial interests don't like....many of us have been warned through Facistbook and been in their "jail" for sharing posts that go against their community standards..ugh, despite it being true and or utterly hypocritical/not fitting the narrative...Yup; bit of a rant I know!

I can probably count all the times I used DM's on 1 hand.
I generally respond to groups threads or this main thread.

Made a few close friends

Apart from you, I don’t think I’ve actually made any friends on Goodreads. Most people I follow I know on some other social and have contacts with them there. :)

Books friends, yes, but friends I connect with more often, not so much… aside from you! See you in the funny pages… or where ever we all meet next! 🙂

As you say, Marquise: "I made a few close friends, with whom I'll stay in touch..." via a separate private email account.

Terence M [Quot libros, quam breve tempus!] wrote: "As you say, Marquise: "I made a few close friends, with whom I'll stay in touch..." via a separate private email account."

That's good! You'll stay in touch with them. <3

Scott wrote: "Books friends, yes, but friends I connect with more often, not so much… aside from you! See you in the funny pages… or where ever we all meet next! 🙂"

Only me? Honoured! 🙂 Follow me down the yellow brick road, Theodore!

(Because you're not a gal and thus not a Dorothy).

Katja wrote: "Apart from you, I don’t think I’ve actually made any friends on Goodreads. Most people I follow I know on some other social and have contacts with them there. :)"

You're serious?! o.O You being an author, I thought you had plenty of pals here.

TL *Humaning the Best She Can* wrote: "Made a few close friends"

*hugs*

Charlton wrote: "I can probably count all the times I used DM's on 1 hand.
I generally respond to groups threads or this main thread."

I guess not everyone is that sociable. Thank you for participating whenever you can, Charlton! <3

Cindy wrote: "I have definitely made some endearing friendships here as I will certainly not being able to write privately...have emails and will will be using "good ole fascistbook" too as needed."

Fascistbook. :D Hahaha! Oh, I've not been there for years and have no idea what it is like nowadays (and don't wanna), but that place was always too prone to bring down the hammer on users for silly things as much as for serious offences.

~*~Princess Nya Vasiliev~*~ wrote: "So, at the risk of sounding like a 3rd grader, AmaNazi, your momma's a ho!"

I now do believe you did have a few drinks last night. :D

Mariella wrote: "Most of my friendships have started in other places and then we friended each other here, but thankfully, many of the ones that's not the case for I have emails for or chat with on Discord now."

Thank goodness the good people I met here I did before the DMs disappear. <3

XOX wrote: "I have made a lot of good friends here. I would say I am a better person because of it. Having the privacy to message a friend is essential for this process."

A better person? Now I'm curious!

The good thing about DMs is that they also allowed for venting and letting off some steam. Sometimes, you've had a bad hair day, the cat destroyed your favourite socks, your boss was a bitch, traffic was a nightmare, etc., and you feel like yelling at the first unfortunate soul that crosses your path. But if you have a gal pal that will listen to your rants... a blessing!

I wonder how many people will become more aggressive than usual in public now that they can't keep that to their private circle?

Thibault wrote: ".Books are what brings us together, though it’s our connections with other people that keep us coming back for more."

Yeah, that's what I've always said. I don't care so much about reviews per se, I have plenty of friends that read & review books that don't grab me but that I love hearing their thoughts of (you've probably noticed I'm more of a reader/'liker' than a commenter). It's the people, those who value the books aspect more have many other choices.

I’m very selective when it comes to DMs here. Friends I’ve made here I’ve connected through WhatsApp or email outside of GR.

It’s disappointing that they’re removing the feature but I haven’t been here as long as many of you.

I've made a few friends via DMS. It's handy to communicate that way when it works. Sometimes, my screenreader's stubborn, but I do like that feature. It's ashame things are always changing.

Meredith wrote: "I've made a few friends via DMS. It's handy to communicate that way when it works. Sometimes, my screenreader's stubborn, but I do like that feature. It's ashame things are always changing."

I had wondered if you ever used DMs, because at least once I wanted to message you but wasn't sure if your screenreader could read them here. Now I know!

Anne wrote: "It’s disappointing that they’re removing the feature but I haven’t been here as long as many of you."

Some have made friends quite quickly regardless of how long they've been here, others took their time. I came knowing only one person on this site, who is no longer here. :(

I haven't been on as long as some of you (since late 2021) and haven't used DM a lot. I have only connected with a few people via DM. But there are times when you need to have a private conversation or even just give someone your e-mail address (which I don't want to hand to the world).

Fred wrote: "But there are times when you need to have a private conversationor even just give someone your e-mail address (which I don't want to hand to the world)."

Me neither.

Is there even a big, successful social platform that doesn't allow DMs or private chat? I can't think of any, all of the big platforms allow some form of private conversation between users.

Well, drat...

Apparently, some of those folks who misuse the DM feature decided to go out with a last hurrah, and sent a flirty message. :D

In these circumstances, it's darkly comical. I almost can see GR's point to do away with the DMs. A-l-m-o-s-t.

I've got close friends here. I usually chat with them through DMs. I don't really use anything else except Substack, and maybe Discord if it comes up. I'd really hate for DMs to get deleted.

Nice question, Marquise. Some friendships I made here, via groups and in comment sections, were strengthened through DMing, and several of my GR friends do have my email address. I don't think I DM'd with most of my friends, though, (haven't actually counted!) and I can't think of any I wanted to DM with but didn't. I don't know why this is, but I have to have a specific reason to DM--meaning not simply to chat, although I respond to chatting--and usually I don't have a specific reason.

I made a few close friends but they are emailing me at my regular email address. This is super sad. I remember years ago when they shut down the neverending quiz. I was stricken with grief. I tried to like your review about Elon Musk but goodreads would NOT let me.

It has helped me in regard to one friend, but otherwise I don't use it much, but I still want to have the option to use it!

You can also keep sending your emailed voices to keep private DMs, here.

Keep sharing the petition link. Keep emailing them. They have shut down all incoming messages to their emails on file. So you may still use the help desk link, shared here, to send your voices.

You can also send your voices to the GR account that sent out the email stating that DMs would be removed. Just simply reply to the message that was sent to you from that account. If you try to go to the account to send the message it will state they are not accepting messages. But if you go to reply to their message, your message will go through.

Thank you.

I’ve made a few (including you, Marquise!) that I’ll definitely keep in touch with in other ways, otherwise it doesn’t affect me too much. I do like them though and am annoyed GR is getting rid of it.

Michael wrote: "I'd really hate for DMs to get deleted."

I suppose you'll have to back up/screenshot some of them for the memories. :)

Caroline wrote: "I don't know why this is, but I have to have a specific reason to DM--meaning not simply to chat, although I respond to chatting--and usually I don't have a specific reason."

I get that. Like everything on this site, the feature depends on each user's personality and level of sociability. I'm sure there are some who use it every day/several times a day, and others who have used it a couple of times or even never.

~☆~Autumn wrote: "I made a few close friends but they are emailing me at my regular email address. This is super sad. I remember years ago when they shut down the neverending quiz. I was stricken with grief."

Oh, I had forgotten about the neverending quiz! I wasn't into it, but some friends were. :)

The site is buggy at present, refresh and retry. Thank you, Autumn!

^Kalinka^ (On Semi-Hiatus) wrote: "You can also keep sending your emailed voices to keep private DMs, here."

Doubt they'll listen, but if anyone thinks it's worth trying...

Sarah wrote: "I’ve made a few (including you, Marquise!) that I’ll definitely keep in touch with in other ways, otherwise it doesn’t affect me too much. I do like them though and am annoyed GR is getting rid of it."

Hehehe, thank you, sweet Sarah. <3

I'm going to be a brat (autocorrect said "beast" first, nice) and say I can't tell you how many of us might have made close friends by DM. But I'm among us them.

Beth wrote: "I'm going to be a brat (autocorrect said "beast" first, nice) and say I can't tell you how many of us might have made close friends by DM. But I'm among us them."

Good! It means you've hanged 'round me for long enough that my vocab is rubbing off on your autocorrect. 🤣

Because I used to travel a whole lot for work, I've actually managed to meet quite a few of my GR pals face-to-face all across the country; nine, if I'm not forgetting anybody. (Two of these weren't planned, but just people I bumped into at a book fair and recognized.)

But I'm sending my email address to people who I think might want to stay in touch with me, but it won't really be the same. I won't have a single location I can go to to find people's notes. Enshittification squared.

Left Coast Justin wrote: "Because I used to travel a whole lot for work, I've actually managed to meet quite a few of my GR pals face-to-face all across the country; nine, if I'm not forgetting anybody."

You ever saw the Ns in the same room? 🤣

I have made great friends here. I have already exchanged emails with some of them. If GR goes down the drain, I hope some of us will meet on another book site.

This book site was just too good to be true — or, more to the point, too good to last. Thanks to many people on Goodreads, I have broadened my literary horizons, something I would not have been able to do otherwise, since the bookshops in town now find it more profitable to sell Gen Z tat and all manner of Nulliterature.

Some reviews I read here are so inspiring, so profound, and backed by an outstanding command of culture. I wish I could write mine the same way… Too often, the people I try to connect with either do not accept messages as a rule, or are simply not interested. That’s when I put my hopes under a bushel, fully aware that we live in a world where people are wrapped up in themselves and the coziness of their digital bubble.
Trying to pop that bubble is to be met with indifference at best, suspicion at worst.

Marquise wrote: "^Kalinka^ (On Semi-Hiatus) wrote: "You can also keep sending your emailed voices to keep private DMs, here."

Doubt they'll listen, but if anyone thinks it's worth trying..."

Even if it's to be able to say "Well, at least I did all I could to help try to change it".. That's better than just complaining about it all but still not lifting a finger to help try to make it better.. To me, that's what makes it worth it.. Even if we succeed in just getting on their phucking nerves, that's worth it to me. (giggles)

I’m sad we are losing the DM function, as that is how I connected with the most important person in my life about seven years ago. To cut off what brought this person in my life is immeasurably sad to me, as now others won’t have what I have been lucky enough to have.

Jen wrote: "I’m sad we are losing the DM function, as that is how I connected with the most important person in my life about seven years ago. To cut off what brought this person in my life is immeasurably sad..."

(HUGS)