“Practice Good Listening

The most important element of good listening is simple: You have to want to
understand the other person’s point of view. Listening is not about agreeing, or
defending. It’s not about how often you nod your head in the conversation, how
many times you recap what the person said, or how many affirmations you give to
the other person. Those are techniques to help you become a better listener, but
they are not listening in themselves.

The fundamental purpose of listening is to gather information about the other
person, to understand where he’s coming from, how she views a situation, or what
he values. If you sit quietly and let others do the talking, you can have an excellent
opportunity to learn, to gather information. And that can be very powerful—in
several ways.”