“The never angry person can then identify with the intimate partner's expression of the suppressed rage without ever having to take personal responsibility for it —even in terms of being conscious of the fact that he was the angry person in the first place! And, frequently, the feelings of anger which were so firmly repudiated within the self are just as sternly criticized in the mate. The never angry individual, in a projective identification situation, is often horrified by his spouse's hot-tempered, impulsive, uncontrolled expressions and behavior!”