“If I spoke to my mum about a friend sending their daughter to boarding school, her response would be, ‘Poor cow, how old is she?’ I would reply, ‘She’s seven,’ then my mum would respond with, ‘Wicked bastards, sending their kids away. If you don’t wanna look after ’em, don’t have ’em.’ Then my dad would hear from another room and shout, ‘I ain’t having him come round this house, ’orrible bastard!”