“theres a heavy silence between us
it settles in the creases on your jacket
and seeps into the fur on my hood.
i know your middle name and
i know your birthday and
i know you look more like your dad
but you wish you looked like your mom.

i watch your back and
for the first time in my life
im genuinely terrified.

"whats my birthday?" i ask
and you dont look at me
because you never do
you never look me in the eye
you never say my name
and god its hitting me.

its hitting me that maybe
maybe it was all for nothing
i know you inside and out
i know you better than i know myself
and maybe thats all for nothing.

"it’s in december, right?" you ask
but its not a question and
if i were anyone else
if i werent love-sick
if i wasnt absolutely
fucking blinded by you

i would punch you in the fucking mouth.
my birthday is may fifth.”