J. Swift > J.'s Quotes

“As real as,' said Eddie.
'As real as what?' said Jack.
'Wish I knew,' said Eddie. 'But I can't do corroborative nouns. None of us are perfect, are we? I can get started. As big as, as obscene as, as foul as. But I can't get any further. But that's life for you again. As unfair as...”
― Robert Rankin, The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse

“Have you ever head this theory about drinking yourself sober?' Eddie asked. 'It's a very popular theory. Amongst drunks, anyway.”
― Robert Rankin, The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse

“Jack, get a grip of yourself.'
I have a grip of myself.' Jack took a grip of himself. It was a most intimate grip; not the kind of grip that you usually take of yourself in public.”
― Robert Rankin, The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse

“If there are no spots on a sugar cube then I’ve just put a dice in my tea.”
― Robert Rankin, The Antipope