Ruby Walker > Ruby's Quotes

“You are a very special person. There is only one like you in the whole world. There's never been anyone exactly like you before, and there will never be again. Only you. And people can like you exactly as you are.”
― Fred Rogers, Life's Journeys According to Mister Rogers: Things to Remember Along the Way

“Follow your inner moonlight; don't hide the madness.”
― Allen Ginsberg

“I've always rejected being understood. To be understood is to prostitute oneself. I prefer to be taken seriously for what I'm not, remaining humanly unknown, with naturalness and all due respect”
― Fernando Pessoa, The Book of Disquiet

“I think perfection is ugly. Somewhere in the things humans make, I want to see scars, failure, disorder, distortion.”
― Yohji Yamamoto

“Oh God, are there so many of them in our land! Students who can’t be happy until they’ve graduated, servicemen who can’t be happy until they are discharged, single folks who can’t be happy until they’ve found a mate, workers who can’t be happy until they’ve retired, adolescents who aren’t happy until they’re grown, ill people who aren’t happy until they’re well, failures who aren’t happy until they succeed, restless who can’t wait until they get out of town, and in most cases, vice versa, people waiting, waiting for the world to begin.”
― Tom Robbins

“Tell me, he said, "What is this thing about time? Why is it better to be late than early? People are always saying, we must wait, we must wait. what are they waiting for?"

"Well […] I guess people wait in order to make sure of what they feel."

"And when you have waited—-has it made you sure?”
― James Baldwin, Giovanni’s Room

“I wished I didn't need an ocean of space to feel comfortable. I still wanted to be loved. Yet again I felt like two people: one who desperately needed a hug, and one who would break apart at the slightest touch. How could I get people to keep their distance without leaving completely? How long would it take for them to get tired of the way I flinched and evaded?”
― Ruby Walker, Advice I Ignored: Stories and Wisdom from a Formerly Depressed Teenager

“At night I’d stand in front of the mirror, eyes closed, imagining the face of a beloved friend. Upturned nose, wavy hair, dark eyes, wide smile, belly laughing, lifting eyebrows, skipping stones. I’d feel the champagne glow of love and respect radiating from behind my sternum. When my eyes broke open on my own hateful face, I squeezed the embers tight to keep them from fizzling out. I kept forcing myself to imagine feeling self-love.  Then one night when I opened my eyes, I didn’t see a ghoul or a failure or a mask. I saw a tired, imperfect girl who wanted the world to be kind. And the love was already there.”
― Ruby Walker, Advice I Ignored: Stories and Wisdom from a Formerly Depressed Teenager

“And I know I’d rather be happy and bland than tortured and interesting. Yet, sometimes it still makes me angry, that I don’t have the option to destroy myself anymore.”
― Ruby Walker, Advice I Ignored: Stories and Wisdom from a Formerly Depressed Teenager

“Sometimes life’s a shit boat, and it feels like nothing’s ever gone right. And sometimes the only comfort you have is the fact that other people are also in your awful situation. And maybe, just maybe, you’ll make them feel a little less alone.”
― Ruby Walker, Advice I Ignored: Stories and Wisdom from a Formerly Depressed Teenager

“I wanted to fall apart in public so it could finally be someone else's responsibility to pick me back up. I wanted someone to know me. I wanted someone to make me stop. I wanted all that—but I couldn't stand the idea of letting someone else see how weak I was. That's how I sank so low, so quietly. I was trapped in dichotomy—certain of two things at once that couldn't possibly agree.

Believing what happened wasn't bad enough to be so shaken over, but still coming undone. Blaming myself entirely, but still feeling powerless. Standing on the razor’s edge, knowing that I was doing myself wrong, but falling back in every single time.”
― Ruby Walker, Advice I Ignored: Stories and Wisdom from a Formerly Depressed Teenager

“Looking at the night sky and feeling small is only a cliche if you can say that getting burned by fire is cliche. It’s a timeless human truth.”
― Ruby Walker, Advice I Ignored: Stories and Wisdom from a Formerly Depressed Teenager

“No matter how good I was, no matter how much I pleaded for it or worked for it, I could never make everyone understand me. If my self-esteem was dependent on other people’s feelings, it would never be under control. I’d be on a ship rocking back and forth between emptiness and salvation, never able to really find my feet. ”
― Ruby Walker, Advice I Ignored: Stories and Wisdom from a Formerly Depressed Teenager

“People who have never dealt with mental illness will never understand know how legitimately triumphant it feels to decide to take a shower and then actually do it.”
― Ruby Walker, Advice I Ignored: Stories and Wisdom from a Formerly Depressed Teenager

“I was trapped in dichotomy—certain of two things at once that couldn't possibly agree. Believing what happened wasn't bad enough to be so shaken over, but still coming undone. Blaming myself entirely, but still feeling powerless. Standing on the razor’s edge, knowing that I was doing myself wrong, but falling back in every single time.”
― Ruby Walker, Advice I Ignored: Stories and Wisdom from a Formerly Depressed Teenager

“I hated the things that grew out of my body, my breasts, my hair—even as I imagined they could someday make me sexy. That's what I wanted to be: sexy, not comfortable; pretty, not able; wanted, not admired.”
― Ruby Walker, Advice I Ignored: Stories and Wisdom from a Formerly Depressed Teenager