Totally Original discussion

This is a game I have been known to play. You are a genie. You are also very, very angry, for reasons that aren't important. You are just thinking about how angry you are, when someones rubs your lamp. The aim of the game is to seriously annoy the person (kill them, if you want).

For example; if they wish for a million dollars, make a million dollars in coins appear directly above their head, crushing them dead. Obviously, the game has two parts; thwart the wish above you, and then make your own wish. There is already a thread for arguements, use if you want, just don't argue here. That applies to everyone, so call anyone doing this out. I'll start;

"I wish I had the ability to stop time!"

Granted, but the cat is a lion and you are about to be eaten.

I wish for nothing bad to happen to the world's population. The entire population includes me and animals.
((I am going to move this to the Games folder, if you do not mind.))

Earth is transported to another galaxy. Suckers.

I wish The Doctor would visit me

Granted, but the time lines are mixed up, and, for unknown reasons, he hates you.

I wish the Doctor would visit Charlie.

He visits Laszlo instead.

I wish for a perfect wish.

The wish is transported to another galaxy.

I wish for a horrible wish.

You get a wet, crumpled, possibly used piece of toilet paper.

I wish for snow on Christmas.

It appears, but moving at break neck speed, and inside your brain. Small or not, it does some serious shredding.

I wish that bees obey my commands!

Laszlo wrote: "Granted, but the cat is a lion and you are about to be eaten.

I wish for nothing bad to happen to the world's population. The entire population includes me and animals.
((I am going to move this t..."

((Sure, go ahead.))

I stop you existing, and destroy any proof that you ever existed, including memories.

I wish that earthquakes were an impossibility.

A complete set of dictionaries/theasurusi and encyclopeidia (guess which of those is spelt correctly) materailises above your head. It falls, and collapses your skull.

Oh, and I wish the number of trees worldwide suddenly doubled.

Well, trees create oxygen. If the trees that double double themselves, then
TO²×c=∞
So, with the excess of oxygenation, people can die at any second.

I wish for oxygen.

I make it so that all 'air' that enters your lungs is transformed to pure oxygen. This causes oxygen toxicity, which, according to wikipedia;

Central nervous system toxicity is caused by short exposure to high concentrations of oxygen at greater than atmospheric pressure. Pulmonary and ocular toxicity result from longer exposure to elevated oxygen levels at normal pressure. Symptoms may include disorientation, breathing problems, and vision changes such as myopia. Prolonged or very high oxygen concentrations can cause oxidative damage to cell membranes, the collapse of the alveoli in the lungs, retinal detachment, and seizures.

Kggelen, I give you one penny, but it is moving at the speed of sound, at your face. From a distance of three centimetres.

I wish that I couldn't feel sad about things.

I give you malaria, then. You die a slow, painful death.

I wish I had telekinesis.

I give you windscreen wipers, but I materialise them in your eyes.

Oh, and I wish I could remember to put a wish in the original post.

You die. Good luck taking tests now.

I wish that I was watching Macgyver right now...

That's not a wish. I give you NO COOKIES!

I give you cookies, made of anti-matter. Massive energy release! Haha!

I wish that, without any change to myself, I was the lonliest, saddest, most spiteful, most unconsiderate, least friendly person on Earth.

That is two wishes!

I materialise a chocolate chip cookie, in your spinal column. This is going to keep happening, you know.

I wish for good luck.

Laszlo wrote: "That is two wishes!"

One wish. A very large wish, but one never the less.

I give you a regular cookie in your mouth. It was poisoned. It was a regular standard kind of poisoned cookie.

I wish I didn't have to log off Goodreads now.

Granted, but you must stay on forever.

I wish Badgerlord didn't have to log off.

It explodes in your mouth. It is still regular, it was just a little molecular degradation.

I wish John and Allison would come back.

Granted. You eat a cookie, it explodes in your mouth, and you must get stitches.

I wish people remembered my nickname.

Granted. You eat a cookie, it explodes in your mouth, and you must get stitches. Harm is an opinion.

I wish I have read every book in the world.

No, because harm is an opinion.

I would, under normal circumstances, agree with Kggelen in that stitches are included under the general catagory of harm for most people, and therefore should be upheld. However, in the concept of the situation, a genie, being cosmically powerful could be resonably assumed to consider stitches a minor incovience.

Laszlo wrote: "Granted. You eat a cookie, it explodes in your mouth, and you must get stitches. Harm is an opinion.

I wish I have read every book in the world."

All books except The Two Towersare permanately erased from history, and creating new books becomes psycologically impossible. You read it, and therefore have read every book in the world.

I wish my name was scorched onto the visible surface of the moon.

You can't properly control your magic powers, and then end up being such a threat to everyone but you that you are forced to constantly put those you hold dear at risk, or turn your back on society and live a lonely life, shunning compainonship for their sake. Your choice.

I wish that the day was an hour longer.

You known that thing I do where I materialise whatever you wanted travelling at breakneck speed at your face? I do that. You die.

I wish the universe always conspired to give me amazingly dramatic entrances.

The moose is in an alternate dimension, and when traveling through dimensional planes to get your moose, you suffer from molecular degradation. You try to cure yourself using magic, but magic does not work in this dimension. Distressed, you attempt to run back to your home dimension to cure yourself, but you explode one second before yo get there. Meanwhile, your moose lives a sad and lonely life, shunned by society. It meets alternate Charlie, who teaches it about alternate universes and different dimensions, and successfully creates a machine which allows it to hop between dimensions, then attempts to find you. When it gets to this dimension, it quickly finds out about your death, and the dimensional hopper which allowed it to get here has broken down. It attempts to ask for help, but finds out that in this universe moose are not treated the same way as in his home universe, and that no one can understand moose speak. Alternate Charlie attempts to save the moose, but suffers from molecular degradation and explodes.

I wish I could meet a talking cow.

Moose. Crazy speeds. Face.

I wish that people always started with the assumption that I'm intelligent.

What?

You heard me.

No I didn't.

Err, sorry. I didn't know you had commented by Kggelen and my comments. My bad.

You do meet a talking cow, but the events of your meeting are rather swift; you were in a car crash with the cow, and you both died.

I wish that people always started with the assumption that I'm intelligent.

You'd be locked up in a cell for lunatics (too harsh?)

I wish I met...someone.

That someone is the Grim Reaper.

I wish that everything I put in my mouth tasted good.

The book does come out of the car. In fact, it comes flying out and slams you in the face.
I wish my money will come back.

Granted. It comes back in the form of golden rain, killing everyone in its path.

I wish that, not to be rude, I just it would be interesting, Kggelen stopped caring about grammar for one day.

Your new coat is woven from really itchy fibers and you laugh so much you suffocate. I wish for a light sprinkling of snow.

I wish for Christmas

Rinasa1234 wrote: "Your new coat is woven from really itchy fibers and you laugh so much you suffocate. I wish for a light sprinkling of snow."

A light sprinkling of snow starts, and never stops. Regardless of the lightness, you eventually get snowed into your house, and starve.

ℂᖺαᖇᒪἷ℮-ωα ⊰♡1017 & ♡ Tardis!⊱ wrote: "I wish for Christmas"

I send who into a story where it is Christmas. Unfortunately, that story happens to be The Little Match Girl, by Hans Christian Andersen. If you haven't read that story; you should. It's short but good.

I wish that the genie will ignore anything I say.

...

Is this a paradox?

It is a paradox, and the time and space is broken. You have created a wormhole.

I wish to close the wormhole.