Dear Diary... discussion

This is Emma's diary called I am Darkness

Heyo! Thanks Avalon!

Ok....... a diary is for thoughts and feelings so............. As some of you know I was in a car crash a few days ago with my Bff. She died. I didn't. I feel so bad because I made her drive. If I would have driven she would still be alive. I miss her so much. So Her funeral was 2 days ago. I just got out of the hospital. I have a broken arm............and........... my legs are paralized, I can never walk again. :'(

I was getting pushed around by my mom today when a little girl who was standing close to me, pointed at me and asked her mom why I was in a weelchair her mom hushed her and hurried away. We left and as my mom helped me into the car I started crying. :'(

Really?!

Yep. :(

I 'm Sorry :[

Emma ~I am Darkness~ wrote: "Yep. :("

*hugs*

That is really sad T_T.
Sorry to everyone involved

Emma.
I also lost a friend sooo close to my friend. That i consider her as my sister.

She has a disease with no cure at all. Its called hypokalemic periodic paralysis.


So yeah. Its very hard.

Yeah. Thanks.

Yeah, everytime I look in the mirror i am reminded that I can never run or walk again

It's not ure fault

Yeaterday I was home alone. I feel out of my wheelchair. I dragged my self around with my arms. I couldn't get baxk in though. My mom found me laying on the ground and freaked out.

Yeah.

I think the saddest people try the hardest to make people happy.
Because they know what it's like to feel absolutely worthless.
And they don't want anyone else to feel like that.

Here is the test to find whether your mission on Earth is finished: if you’re alive, it isn’t

Some slash their wrists
Ingest a bottle of pills
Jump off a high rise building
Hang themselves or
Blow their brains off
And in that moment
Where they are bleeding to death
Closing their eyes for the last time
Hanging loose in the air
About to let their weight drop
And let that
Bullet pierce through their skull
Are moments they feel most alive
Mabye suicide
Is ment for that
So very special moment
To feel alive
Just once before
You cease to exist

Look at your cuts.
Or your burns.
Or those bruises you gave youreslf.
Each one is a battle with youself.
That you lost

It's hard to awnser "what's wrong?" when nothing is right

I'm often silent when I'm screaming inside

I hate getting flashbacks from things I don't want to remember.

My parents think I'm fine.
My friends think I'm fine.
My doctor thinks I'm fine.
Some days even I think I'm fine.
But I'm not.
I'm not fine at all.
And I don't know how much longer I can pretend.

I think I'm afraid to be happy
Because whenever I do get too happy
something bad always happens

Sometimes it's better to be alone because then....... nobody can hurt you.

People cry, not because they're weak.
It's because they have been strong fpr too long.

Depression is like a war
You either win
Or die trying

It takes the sadness in life to appreachiate the beauty of death.

Behind my smile is a hurting heart.
Behind my laugh, I'm falling apart.
Look closely at me and you will see.
The girl I am.......isn't me

Suicide isn't cowardly.
Want to know what is?
Treating someone so badly the want to end their life.

SUICIDE
Is the one mistake
You won't live to regret

I'm told to stay strong.....to keep fighting;
But they don't understand...... I've already lost.

I like storms
They let me know that.....
Even the sky
Screams sometimes.

Every day I feel like I'm homesick......for a place that doesn't exist.

I wish I could go back
To a time where I could smile
And it didn'take everything in me to do it.

I put on a fake smile
So I don't have to explain
Why I'm not happy
When someone asks
"Why are you crying?"

Depression: A feeling of drowning while everyone else around you is breathing

Do you ever feel,
So sad that,
Your chest aches,
And your heart beats,
But you just feel so,
Empty,
Like your nothing,
And your Life is nothing,
And you feel like everything would be better,
If you could just sleep,
For a while?

Do you ever feel like that?
That's how I always feel

Hiding the hurt, hiding the pain
Hiding the tears that fall like rain.
Saying I'm fine, when I'm anything but,
This ache in my soul rips at my gut.
My skin is on fire, I burn from within.
The calm on my face is an ongoing sin.
The world must stay out, I've built up a wall.
My fragile lie will collapse should it ever fall.
Loneliness consumes me, it eats away the years
Until my life is swallowed by unending fears.
Waiting for someone to see I wear a mask
And care enough to remove it, is that too much to ask

Sticks and Stones may break my bones.
But words can rip my skin apart.

It's hard to keep a secret.......when It's written all over your body.

Tired
Tired of trying
Tired of hoping
Tired of coping
Tired of existing
Tired of breathing
Tired of living
I'm done.

What would you do if I told you I want to die?

You cannot possibly Imagine.....how much I hate myself.

In my opinion, words hurt greater then actions do.
I have scars to prove it

Silence is the loudest shout for help.

The worst kind of pain is when you're smiling, just to stop the tears from falling.

Pretend during the day.
Break inside at night.

Whats more painful?
When a person you trust hurts you
Or
The person who you hurt still trust you...


I see beauty in everything!.......but me