it's personal discussion
} N O V A { wrote: "I just rode out in the rain to find my brother and his friend who were biking in the neighborhood. I got totally soaked only to find that they had been in the house the whole time. seriously."oof, wow I feel terrible for you, since it's sunny and 81 over here where I live.
S A T U R N :(
saturn broke his foot yesterday, and it’s killing me!
he like twisted his ankle in weird way in gym and he got ice and sat out for the rest of class, and when he went home he went to the doctor’s, and it turns out it was broken the whole time!
and I asked him if it hurts and he said ya
and it’s so sadddd
edit: i guess i gave up on code names or smth. saturn = will.
so people say the point of life is reproduction. but what’s the point of reproduction if we’re all terminal? im just confused
oh wow
I’m scared
I was taking a shower and then I got out and put my towel down and was putting my hair up when this gigantic spider crawled across my towel and it freaked me out
oh and I got glassssessssss
i’m going to carowinds with l and I’m super excited
she’s like my bestie
and there’s a whole water park area!!! it’s gonna be so awesome
half smile
:(
EDIT: sure i feel safe with my grade … but like, they also make me feel ssooooo unsafe. like i feel really judged all the time and i always watch what i say and i ALWAYS compare myself with the people i’m closest to. so, like … it’s a poisonous chocolate or whatever, idk
so today there was a hula show that started at 6, and it was riveting. the dances were so beautiful and … original. it was amazing. and i had some sort of a sense of longing to be a part of something, something bigger than just myself, like a tribe, but more familial. more close, intimate. ik this sounds awful. but that’s the only way to describe my feelings. it might be my shitty brain lmao, but I was watching the setting sun dance, and I got really sad. I wanted to cry right there, because they belonged to hawaii, and I belonged to nothing. nothing there, at least.
[EDIT] I also think it’s a part of finding out that we don’t really have a culture. i’m from a small town in north carolina, and nothing ever happens here. the only signs of culture we have are going to church and people’s country accents. and I really want to belong to a culture, to have certain words and actions and ways of doing things that no one else does. idk.
lei lines
I wanted to bring the raven boys cuz I never finished it but thennn mom was like no more books iris so I didn’t bring it and now I regret it awfully :/
aloha, I’m tired and I feel sad
I miss my babies :(
I saw a tdm movie poster today at the kona theater!!!
it looked awesome <3 <3<3 <3 <3
ansel just stepped on a stick and it flipped up and hit his eye and I don’t know if he’s ok
edit: he’s fine
mehh
62%
S P I N N E R D O L P H I N S
so the dolphins have three layers of different grays, and it’s so pretty. they swim up to the surface and then breathe and spin and sometimes leap (while SPINNING) out of the water, and then one of them starts to head back down and they all follow that dolphin down to the depths, and you can just barely see the dolphins against the dark blue and you just follow them for a while. then they finally come back up and do it all again.
edit: wowow o wow i miss the ocean :(
tonight im going to see the darkest minds movie!!!!!!!!!!! aaaaaaaaaeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
ill write all about it tomorrow, and ill also write about my school orientation (‘twas yesterday).
REMINDER TO NOVA: WRITE
okie dokey.
S C H O O L O R I E N T A T I O N
so, the orientation was horrible. i have to wear shorts that are MID THIGH (like who even has those?!) and bra straps can’t even be, like, seen. its ridiculous. the whole orientation was geared towards the new grade, so not any of the students from any of the other grades, and my schedule makes no sense! heeeeelp
T H E D A R K E S T M I N D S
just perfect. 100%.
oml I'm so socially awkward like I can’t even make a friend
and seriously, who are you to pretend that you’re fine on your own
idek why, but I've stayed up until basically 2 in the morning tonight. I need to sleep more. sleep is crucial!
edit: i mean o k
wait … did I ever introduce myself? edit: yes you did
anyways, I'm iris. I'm very lonely and sad most of the time, but I'm weird too, so that makes up for it, I guess. I really like rain, christmas, cats, spoons, clouds, tea, snow, iced chai tea, fudge, baking, art, listening to music, and hot chocolate when it’s room temperature. that’s a random assortment but i mean
the truth untold is my favorite song (it’s so sad though). epiphany is a close second, tied with spring day … and then dimple. save me is in there somewhere too.
i also love paradise, 21st century girls, and whalien 52 (autumn leaves omg)
PIED PIPER wowow
jamais vuuuuu
(RAIN)
... lights
feel special
last night i had a dream …
i was at my new school and the teacher was like “lets welcome our new student, grant troyer!” and i was like *GAAAASP*
and then i walked outside, for some reason, and genevieve and sam were walking by. so i cornered g and hugged her a lot and then was like “why is everyone here?” and she said “we’re here for you.”
and it was so sweet, i woke up crying
*conclusion: I must really miss grant lol
’tis
save me is my new obsession
it makes me sad, but I don’t know why
well imma go take a shower
lonely ol’ iris is sad todays
I’m really sad right now but I also have to take a shower but I’m so tired and lazy and I JUST DONT WANT TO.
but I have to. let’s go.
I wish someone else was on. pleeease talk to me. I’m so lonely.
that dream I had last night was utterly terrifying
I never want it to happen ever ever EVER again. but I kinda feel like it was a twin dream, like one of those you’ve had before (but all the details weren’t the same)
anyways. so dad and mom were going to leave (like for a month) and ansel wanted to go out and watch a horror movie before they left (it was just going to be me and ansel for like two months). so we went to ansel’s room and turned on the television, and then it was like we were there. it was an outdoor airport, but partially a cafe, so there was an airplane hangar and a bunch of umbrellas. there was a crowd of people waiting to board the plane, so we got in the crowd. we stayed for a while, and then some people started screaming. everyone was like, “speed up! load more people!” and the pilots started like jamming people into the plane. everything was fine, for the first five minutes. the plane started moving, and I realized we werent watching a movie anymore. I think dad was driving the plane down a highway or something like that. anyways, the guy sitting behind mom was like, “can I just put this down -“ and he pushed the armrest towards her stomach. I kicked out and deflected it, because I knew he was the disembowler from before when all those people were screaming. but then he dug his hand into her stomach and I passed out. and when I came to, i was chained in a dungeon with a white tiger (also chained). like wtf
edit! the white tiger is from idol, like DUH
that whole thing was wtf
oml idol is fng amazing
the music video is questionable but the song is chaotically on point
edit: the music video is a built in meme i LOVE it :)))
I have to use the bathroom but I rlly don’t want to get up …
I’m also hungry but I think mom & dad are upstairs watching the news … I’m so hungryyyue
spaghetti sound rlllly good rn and I know for a fact that I have some in the fridge
wrong. I just want my spaghetti
tbh I totally keyed hurricane lane up in my mind to be this disastrous, power-leaking hurricane, but honestly it was just a lot of rain and one night of kinda-bad wind
like lolololol
sometimes I wake up, and I’m like,
okay, so this isn’t such a bad day.
I look okay — my hair’s flat and nice, my face is relatively clear, I have a nice outfit. (i hate my body though. like tbh)
edit: i hate my face even more
and other times I don’t even want to look in the mirror.
edit: what i really hate is how i have literally no purpose or talents in life
and the people i want are always too good for me
okay ileesh enough sad boi hours
is anyone out there
I’m seriously super bored rn
someone? … anyone …
idek why the mission impossible theme is playing in my head rn
help me
I hate those movies
bored iris is not a good sight :(
I have speech problems
I literally am incapable of talking loudly in front of people
I try really hard but it’s never loud enough :(
