WRITERS' CORNER discussion

1.(view spoiler)[Prologue
This is us (RT MX ZA KF)

This is the story about our lives. We were all born in the exact same day, hour, minute, and second, in two completely different settings. Four of us were born in a bright, beautiful house with buzzing, rejoicing air all around, but the other four were born in a dark, sad house with sour, sluggish air around. After we were all born they gave us names and we were there, in our happy and sad settings, until about our first birthday, then they threw us into a blinding light. We appeared here, in America on July 5th, and were sent into foster care or adoption. Most of us were split up and that’s as much as any of us remember, except one of us. She is haunted by what she, unfortunately, remembers.

Chapter 1
Introduced to smoke and storm (RT)

I’m Tyrren and I am now 13 and I have dirty blond hair, like a forest canary, I’ve been told that my eyes shimmer like I have a secret that nobody else knows. My eyes are a strange shade of storm blue.

“Tyrren, get down here!” Emily yelled up the stairs. Emily Gray is a 15 year old girl that lives in the small mansion I’m staying in. The Grays study animals and are the foster family I’m staying with but they don’t seem to like me at all, except Emily, she likes me…to do all her chores, which consists mostly of, cleaning out cages and taking care of animals. Animals don’t really bug me, so that’s not a big deal; what bugs me is that these chores are hers. And back to Emily’s yelling.

“Tyrren, I said come here!” Emily yelled again. I am in my room looking out the window, not at anything in particular until I see the girl from the other day. I’m starting to think she’s stalking me or something. I stride away from the window and walk down the stairs.

“You need to clean out the snake cages,” she tells me when I reach her sight.

“Oh, surprise, surprise, and let me guess, I need to do it and the rest of your chores before your parents get back from work, right?”

“No, I’m not that awful…most of the time!”

“Fine,” I mumble as I walk toward the snake room. The snake room is a big room with exactly 35 snake cages in it, but only 13 cages actually hold snakes at this point in time. As I go and start to clean, Emily dashes up stairs and probably starts talking on the phone or something along those lines.

Anyways I start to clean out the snake cages, and think about that strange girl. Yesterday, I saw her taking pictures of anything and everything, but she looked up from her camera and saw me. She looked surprised and after a second of shock, she started taking pictures of me. I think she’s stalking me or something and it’s kind of freaking me out. Suddenly, I hear a scraping sound, distracting me from my disturbing thoughts. I look to where it’s coming from and see a glimmer. I can’t see it very well because there’s a snake on top of it, but I know it’s probably the shiniest thing I’ve ever seen in my life. (hide spoiler)]

2.(view spoiler)[I go and pick it up as the snake gets off of it. I’m still not sure what it is, but it looks very expensive. It’s a burnt orange, brown, topaz shaped like a dragon claw with colored talons, but I’m not sure what they’re made of. Each talon is a different color, one was surprisingly the color of my eyes, one was a smoky purple and the last was a grass green color. It is so detailed that it almost looked real. Then I notice the marble in its clutches, the marble it’s a deep bruise purple and is very beautiful. It has to be the weirdest and prettiest thing I have ever seen; it almost seems to draw your eyes to it. I see the simple chain twisted around the snake and pick it up. It has a tag or something attached to it. On the tag is a picture of the pendant. The pendant picture is labeled. The one the color of my eyes is labeled as Tyrren, my name, the smoky purple one is labeled ‘R’, the green talon is labeled ‘X’, and the purple marble is labeled ‘Mallory’. ‘Who’s Mallory? Where did this come from? Why is my name on this?’ I can’t answer any of the questions. I here shuffling from upstairs and remember that if Emily finds out she’ll probably take it away.

I quickly shove it in my pocket and I finish the chores I was told to do. After I finish, I go to the two room attic space, which is the equivalence of my room, and lock the doors. I plop down on the bed and slowly take out the dragon claw topaz. As I sit there contemplating what I should do with it, I hear loud thumping and banging sounds from down stairs. I stuff the topaz back into my pocket, get up, and unlock my door. I stand there waiting for another sound and sure enough, a minute later, I hear the thumps and bangs again.

This time I run towards the sound and it stops, I wait for it and when I hear it, I start running again. I do this about five times when I find it. The source of the thumping and banging is being pushed outside by Emily. The sounds are coming from a girl about my age, though very short, with hair like raven feathers, being pushed out of the house. It’s the girl! I start trying to get Emily away from the girl, for some reason I can’t decipher, and somehow, despite our height and age disadvantages, the girl and I win the battle and she sits on the floor.

“Who are you?” Emily demands from the girl, who is sitting on the floor looking like she did this stuff every day, and for all I know, she might.

She replies very calmly, “I’m Ra…Aurenn, and I need to talk to…Tyrren? Right?”

“Yyeeess…b-but why would you need to talk to me?” I ask. I think about the topaz in my pocket and start to get worried, even though there’s something about her demeanor that makes me want to trust her.

Aurenn opens her mouth to answer my question, but Emily interrupts saying, “Aurenn, you can stay, but my parents will be here soon and they don’t like unexpected visitors, so we’ll have to make up a story”

I sit there in amazement; nobody can get something like that to come from Emily’s awful mouth, not even her parents. I decided Emily must trust her as much as I do. It was then that I got my first glimpse of Raylla’s eyes. They were the exact color as the smoke purple talon! But Aurenn doesn’t start with an R, does it?

“Your eyes, they’re purple!” I shout with mine wide open.

“So, why does that matter?” she replies. She almost sounds disappointed I mentioned them.

“Because they’re the exact color of…” I let my voice die out, realizing I just about blurted out my special secret.

“They’re the exact color of what?” she asks. Although she tried to hide it, I could hear a slight twinge of excitement in her voice.

And to her dismay and slightly mine, I simply said, “Nothing,” and that was that. (hide spoiler)]

I really need to know if this is okay writing so if you have some extra spare time to read it I would be very grateful. :)