The Aspiring Authors Society discussion

Enjoy

Oshawott wrote: "Ruqayyah wrote: "Enjoy"

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Thank you so much
I needed this :)"

Anytime- enjoy!

Wow- that's really good! A great message behind it! Poems and songs normally intertwine- so it can really can be both

Just keep working on it and don't give up! You've got a good set up so far!

X

It's fine but sure!

X

Wow- I really like how I can feel the emotions in that!

Oh I see- the endings are important too, as they are like an aftertaste of your work and you want it to be good.
That's a good choice to make!
It works- or you could also end with-
I did, didn't I? Or maybe...
Cool!

It looks great!
Anytime x

that is amazing! you could totally turn it into a rap (which is how I read it for some reason). But it has a much needed lesson.

Wow! That is really good!
I loved -
But I will not bite my tongue
...
Your voice can never be silenced When speaking the truth
Your looks will never come down to what others think
Know those in control are afraid that we each have our own paths to choose
Knowing that difference is all it takes to make the world a better place
The only actions that matter is the ones that we take


Wow- such a great piece!

It's amazing! Loving your poems so far!

It's going great so far- let us know if you need help!

Ah I'm so sorry you had to go through that but know that these experiences make you stronger and you are that and so much more because it takes a lot to go through all that and you did. You've come this far and you are going to keep going further and don't let anyone stop you. No one. Let me know if you need anything and don't feel like you have to put anymore.
This quote really helps me, hope it does you
'Surely with hardship comes ease.' Quran 94:5

okay
I’ve only read the first sentence
but
wittle tip
don’tttttttt paraphrase the question aghdksnwkwbskwk
“what makes you stand out?” essay: “what makes me stand out is”
it’s just.. very mechanical and doesn’t really hook readers in, yk?
okay sorry I’ll read the rest of it now lmao

:( I’m so sorry you went through all of that, no one deserves that
but I’m so glad you’ve gotten stronger and have started helping others<3
okay.. I’m trying to look at it from the perspective of some old admissions dude, and there’s definitely some grammar and punctuation issues, and those can easily be fixed
but hmm.. it doesn’t really pack a punch
it doesn’t really leave a mark
show don’t tell, that’s what my english teacher tells us lol
you’re just telling the story, but you gotta show it
don’t just tell us what happened, describe your emotions
don’t just tell us how it affected you, show it
you know?

Osh ||On Semi Hiatus|| wrote: "i mainly just have this as an example
it could be edited some
but im not going to do much with it
since im not applying
8 years later this may change if i want to go and get like a masters at a U..."

That's fine, take your time x

Osh ||On Semi Hiatus|| wrote: "i mainly just have this as an example
it could be edited some
but im not going to do much with it
since im not applying
8 years later this may change if i want to go and get like a masters at a U..."

take all the time you need <3

You worded that so well!
Add it to the application
Yep, we are here for you and it can be hard but it will heal with time

Osh ||On Semi Hiatus|| wrote: "i like that quote, it is true
ive been through a ton of stuff
its still hard and all but
its the positively small/big things
that's happened that has a bigger impact on my life and the way i see ..."

:)
one of my best gr friends shared a quote with me
“you’re not wrong for all the ways you express your sadness” orrrr something similar to that, but yeah, I dunno it helped me a lot

That's really nice!

hi! im readin it rn :))

Osh ||On Semi Hiatus|| wrote: "mary (betty’s version) wrote: ":( I’m so sorry you went through all of that, no one deserves that
but I’m so glad you’ve gotten stronger and have started helping others<3
okay.. I’m trying to look..."

hmmmm… 350 words of 350 characters?
also is it okay if I mess around with your essay a bit to try and help? sorry lol

Osh ||On Semi Hiatus|| wrote: "mary (betty’s version) wrote: ":( I’m so sorry you went through all of that, no one deserves that
but I’m so glad you’ve gotten stronger and have started helping others<3
okay.. I’m trying to look..."
Ah I see, they can be
Try mix the two elements together because it's *science*

damn thats crazy
im so sorry you had to go through that
hmm i think the "thesis" not rlly thesis but like opening sentence could be a little reworded - hang on lemme try something

Osh ||On Semi Hiatus|| wrote: "mary (betty’s version) wrote: "Osh ||On Semi Hiatus|| wrote: "i like that quote, it is true
ive been through a ton of stuff
its still hard and all but
its the positively small/big things
that's h..."

:))) quotes and song lyrics >>>>>>>>

Osh ||On Semi Hiatus|| wrote: "UC Insight question # 8
btw this will be deleted soon

8. Beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do you believe makes you stand out as a strong candidate for admissions to ..."

here i toyed with it a little :) sorry if i kinda reworded it ugheruhgr

What makes me stand out as a strong candidate for admissions to the University of California is my innate ability to connect with others passionately as I have experienced what it's like to live in a place where there is no opportunity or chance for improvement. *talk about your experience* *talk about how it made YOU passionate for helping others* - not bland storytelling, but reallyyyy focus on your emotions - and how are you going to use this to make an impact at UC?
also i think calstate fullerton is a good option for you. you fit the vibe well

also i rlly want to go to UCLA so this was helpful ;)

Osh ||On Semi Hiatus|| wrote: "b͓̽e͓̽l͓̽l͓̽a͓̽d͓̽o͓̽n͓̽n͓̽a͓̽ wrote: "Osh ||On Semi Hiatus|| wrote: "UC Insight question # 8 "

i applied to CSUF"

ooh slay
that's like right next to santa ana too lmao

Osh ||On Semi Hiatus|| wrote: "b͓̽e͓̽l͓̽l͓̽a͓̽d͓̽o͓̽n͓̽n͓̽a͓̽ wrote: "Osh ||On Semi Hiatus|| wrote: "UC Insight question # 8
..."

UCLA is a great choice!!!"

all my friends who applied got rejected
but i hang out w dumb ppl so- (just kidding)

b͓̽e͓̽l͓̽l͓̽a͓̽d͓̽o͓̽n͓̽n͓̽a͓̽ wrote: "Osh ||On Semi Hiatus|| wrote: "UC Insight question # 8
btw this will be deleted soon

8. Beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do you believe makes you stand out as a stro..."

yeseths I agree, talk more about your own emotions
*cue my lovely and amazing English teacher* (not sarcasm I fcking love her) show don’t tell!!!

mary (betty’s version) wrote: "b͓̽e͓̽l͓̽l͓̽a͓̽d͓̽o͓̽n͓̽n͓̽a͓̽ wrote: "Osh ||On Semi Hiatus|| wrote: "UC Insight question # 8
btw this will be deleted soon

8. Beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do yo..."

yesssss show not tell>>>
someone needs to tell coho that. we were spoonfed every character's emotions like honey your readers are not dumb

Osh ||On Semi Hiatus|| wrote: "my 7th 8th 9th
grade English teacher (perks of going to a tiny af school is you get the same teacher for a while
she was my favorite
she was unapologetic (in a good way )and hella smart
and someo..."

HEY TINY SCHOOL TWINS!! I’ve had the same English teacher since 10th grade :)

b͓̽e͓̽l͓̽l͓̽a͓̽d͓̽o͓̽n͓̽n͓̽a͓̽ wrote: "mary (betty’s version) wrote: "b͓̽e͓̽l͓̽l͓̽a͓̽d͓̽o͓̽n͓̽n͓̽a͓̽ wrote: "Osh ||On Semi Hiatus|| wrote: "UC Insight question # 8
btw this will be deleted soon

8. Beyond what has already been shared ..."

😭😭😭

Osh ||On Semi Hiatus|| wrote: "my 7th 8th 9th
grade English teacher (perks of going to a tiny af school is you get the same teacher for a while
she was my favorite
she was unapologetic (in a good way )and hella smart
and someo..."

TINY SCHOOL TWINS LMAO

Osh ||On Semi Hiatus|| wrote: "mary (betty’s version) wrote: " wrote: "
"

b͓̽e͓̽l͓̽l͓̽a͓̽d͓̽o͓̽n͓̽n͓̽a͓̽ wrote: "
.."

ikkk
lol
i like tiny school twins

fun fact i have a twin"

hehehe

:000 slay

Osh ||On Semi Hiatus|| wrote: "mary (betty’s version) wrote: " wrote: "
"

b͓̽e͓̽l͓̽l͓̽a͓̽d͓̽o͓̽n͓̽n͓̽a͓̽ wrote: "
.."

ikkk
lol
i like tiny school twins

fun fact i have a twin"

but my new school is HUGE
im going to public for the first time, my grade has 600 ppl and my school is 6 floors

Osh ||On Semi Hiatus|| wrote: "my school has 544 students and 2 floors"

mine is 3 floors but it’s like 200 ish kids pre-k through 12th in one building lol

Osh ||On Semi Hiatus|| wrote: "mine is pre-k -12 too
pk-6 are underground
and then 7-12th are on the roof"

wait that’s so cool

wowwww
my elementary private school was like 10 people per grade (not HW) so it was tres small

Osh ||On Semi Hiatus|| wrote: "noo sorry!
i meant that in a sarcastic way
(irl i have that issue too, im a very mono tone peep so its a bit confusing to tell when i may or may not be joking, ive got to learn how to use emojis))
..."

LMAOOO

there’s 16 of us graduating lmao :D

Osh ||On Semi Hiatus|| wrote: "mary (betty’s version) wrote: "there’s 16 of us graduating lmao :D"

wow"

yeseths, I love it though

Osh ||On Semi Hiatus|| wrote: "my senior class is only 28 kids"

:000

Osh ||On Semi Hiatus|| wrote: "uhhh
i think i spent like 4 hours on here
i got to do some work now
wow
time goes by
ill be back in prob 5min-2hrs or more
depending on how much my ADHD wants to fight me
i usually am up late,
I'..."

:) bye babes, good luck

oooh
its been a hot minute since i read cyrano tho

Happy birthday!
I really like that, don't let the pressures get to you, okay? I liked how natural it was. And get well too

I hope all goes well!
Mm maybe start with a feeling or emotion.
The weather or the last word you heard?
But today works

Which one can you write about with passion?

AHH
YOU GOT THIS OSHHHH!! WHOOOOO

You can rant for a bit- go for a walk- anything to get all the tension out then sit down and do it. Don't doubt yourself! Just keep going