Readers & Writers discussion

Some folks accept getting older as a blessing that they have lived as long as they have. Living long enough to see your children grow up and even your grandchildren. Other folks fight it tooth and nail and even fear the aging process. There's nothing one can do about getting older accept trying to stay healthy and mentally alert.

As my mother died at 31 and my grandmother at 32, I feel incredibly lucky to still be here. I eat a healthy-ish diet, don't drink, and go to the gym regularly, hoping to stay strong into my 90s. My dad died just shy of 93, but he lived on chocolate and never exercised on purpose a day in his life. I want to go out in better physical shape than he did! He was sharp as a 30-year-old mentally, which I'd also love to be.

Sorry to hear about your mother and grandmother. I would think that is rough.
I'm going to have to say gracefully but that (to me) does not negate some kicking and screaming.

I would do more kicking and screaming if my sciatica would allow it. My mom is still doing well at 93, and my grandmother finished at 107. I'm hoping I inherited those genes. I have no intention of going gracefully ;-)

I think it's all about the genes.

I'll probably go out of this world like i came in. Bald headed, no teeth and probably wearing a diaper!

I must admit I fear the aging process after watching my father suffer Lewy Body dementia for the last years of his life and my mother becoming incapable of doing anything for herself due to severe osteoporosis. She got to where she couldn't walk, stand up, or use her hands. She had to be fed and transferred in and out of a wheelchair twice a day. I don't want to become dependent on my kids or grandkids like my parents were on me. So, kicking and screaming it is!

Other than a few aches and pains, my health is pretty darn good. I've never smoked, so that's a big plus. I still can't believe that I turned 60. Last year, I joined Beachbody and lost 25lbs. I obviously needed to lose weight, but the workouts help me add some muscle too, which has helped me a lot at work.

I have smoked for 65 years, drink about six beers a day, do not exercise, only eat processed foods, only fruit i eat is in a cocktail. I don’t drink water, only coffee and beer. The only health problem is a heart spasm from exposure to agent orange so the VA says. Guess its the genes, who knows!

I feel pretty vibrant despite my condition. I had a micropacemaker implanted recently to keep me from keeling over. I’m about to embark on another procedure that will implant an even better pacemaker that will keep me alive and kicking. Here’s to the surgeons and cardiologists that have deemed this necessary; may their judgment be right.

I would say gracefully…in my youth life was very tough a lot of the time, being a single mother. And trying to just survive…now my life is good and stable.. thanks to my husband I have everything I could ask for

Robert wrote: "I have smoked for 65 years, drink about six beers a day, do not exercise, only eat processed foods, only fruit i eat is in a cocktail. I don’t drink water, only coffee and beer. The only health pro..."

You started smoking when you were 5???
Seriously, some people are outside of the box....

I have put a priority on not being obese, because I see what a lifetime of it does to joints. Common sense in lifestyle habits will help most of us to have a better quality of life no matter how long it is.

No I started smoking when i was 10. I'm 75 years old as of last week. Sometimes common sense doesn't come along until it's too late in life.

Robert wrote: "I have smoked for 65 years, drink about six beers a day, do not exercise, only eat processed foods, only fruit i eat is in a cocktail. I don’t drink water, only coffee and beer. The only health pro..."

That's how my dad was. He did quit smoking in his 60s or 70s, but he never exercised or ate healthy food on purpose in his life. He lived on coffee and sweets. He lived to be almost 93, though he could have benefitted from some strength training in later life. He was mentally sharper than I am, but physically he got more and more fragile as he aged. So....you might want to make at least a couple of changes before it's too late. You don't want to struggle to stand up from a chair.

Jennifer wrote: "Other than a few aches and pains, my health is pretty darn good. I've never smoked, so that's a big plus. I still can't believe that I turned 60. Last year, I joined Beachbody and lost 25lbs. I obv..."

Research has shown that health is tied much more to behaviors than weight. Some extra weight has a protective effect as we age, probably because if you get ill or lose your appetite as you get older, you won't waste away. Exercising and eating well, getting good sleep, making sure your stress level is low, genetics, and socio-economic status all have a much bigger effect on your overall health and wellbeing than your weight.

My grandmother was "obese" her entire life, but she always ate healthy food and got lots of exercise. She lived to be close to 100 and was quite healthy when she died.

My brother who passed away last year at 85 was physically fit as a 40 year old, but Alzheimer’s got him like my dad at 88.

Ugh, that's heartbreaking. My dad was always scared he'd get dementia like his dad did, but thankfully he was still smart as a whip at 92. That is 100% genetics at work. We'd go out to breakfast and he'd order the five meat omelet and a doughnut. :-D

Anheuser's disease will probably get me, from too many Bud-Lights!

Susan wrote: "Jennifer wrote: "Other than a few aches and pains, my health is pretty darn good. I've never smoked, so that's a big plus. I still can't believe that I turned 60. Last year, I joined Beachbody and ..."

Another exception to the rule! Of course it sounds like your grandmother lived a healthy lifestyle over all. Genetics do play a part, no doubt there.
But I've noticed friends and family who are extremely overweight almost always need knee replacements, etc., in time.
They are also at much higher risk for diabetes at an earlier age.

Now they're finding that diabetes perhaps causes weight gain, not the other way around.

I'd like to say gracefully, but I do work hard to fight the hallmarks of aging. I walk 3-6 miles a day, and I try to eat a mostly healthy diet. I don't smoke and have cut way down on my wine consumption. I have arthritis in several joints, had a knee replacement nearly two years ago and I am trying to put off having the other one done as long as I can. I feel like I'm in my 40's, most days!

I'm absolutely terrified of dying and if I think about it too much I start having anxiety attacks. I'm already on disability at 58 but there are a few good days mixed in with the bad. Very few lately. But yes I am trying to fight getting older but being sick and in pain a lot doesn't really help.

That’s interesting. I had a big fear of dying when I was a little girl, but now that I’m an old lady, I don’t have that fear anymore. I think that my loved ones who went before me will be there to greet me

Shari wrote: "I'm absolutely terrified of dying and if I think about it too much I start having anxiety attacks. I'm already on disability at 58 but there are a few good days mixed in with the bad. Very few late..."

anxiety attacks are the worst...I have been there. You definitely have my sympathy. Panic attacks have been behind me for quite some time now, thank God.
I didnt always believe in an afterlife, but came to believe after some experiences in my life.

My dad passed away at the age of 46. My mom is still around but she has the onset of dementia. Her aunt had it and lived til she was 101.

Oh lord, where to start. My husband’s mom died at 94 last September (2023). The last parent to die, but everyone else was in their 80s. And later 80s, too.

My parents were the smokers. My dad rolled his own at age 11. He taught my mom to smoke in college. I only knew them as smokers my whole life. Neither got cancer, but my mom died with a diagnosis of COPD and it damaged my dad’s heart to some extent.

Still, they were both pretty remarkable, considering.

I have never smoked, thankfully.

I get aggravated when people make blanket statements about health practices because we’re all individuals. My parents are exhibit A and B on this one.

And I know people who live very clean lives health-wise only to get a deadly cancer and be gone by age 50. So yeah, probably mostly genes, and some common sense stuff like “moderation” in most things. Unless you have a propensity or knowledge about something like diabetes runs in the family, or you’re of a specific ethnic group that tends towards it.

It was hilarious that every doctor would harangue my mom to quit smoking and I would just cut them off at the pass. I bought her cigarettes and had people chewing me out for that one, too. But my mom kept saying that it was her last pleasure, and even though she was clear headed enough to understand she was also an addict, she was basically correct. So many things had gone away by then. And frankly, I knew the stress of quitting at her age would be worse than just continuing.

As to me, I could stand to lose some weight, but I’m healthy overall and my mind is clear. Having had an aunt who did of Alzheimer’s, I’m mostly concerned about keeping sharp.

I agree, my aunt tried to quit smoking later on in her life and she had a terrible time of it! Plus, there’s no guarantee with cancer, it can be anything at anytime from what I understand. Let’s face it, Aging sucks, loss of memory, anxiety, pain, all you can do is enjoy what you have when you have it!!

LauraBee wrote: "Oh lord, where to start. My husband’s mom died at 94 last September (2023). The last parent to die, but everyone else was in their 80s. And later 80s, too.

My parents were the smokers. My dad rol..."

Here we live by the motto, "Every day is a gift."
And we consider that a gift from the Most High. Although the trip may be scary when the time comes, we know we have a future in eternity to look forward to.

LauraBee wrote: "Oh lord, where to start. My husband’s mom died at 94 last September (2023). The last parent to die, but everyone else was in their 80s. And later 80s, too.

My parents were the smokers. My dad rol..."

I really like what you wrote about all of us being individuals and there is much room for that in lifestyles - with some exceptions, of course.
My husband was a smoker most of his life and most of our married life. We worked around it. There are worse things.
He tried to be very considerate.
These days I see how many people are grossly overweight and suspect many of them have substituted food for tobacco.

Living into old age is probably mostly due to genetic luck, you're right. My dad smoked for decades. He did finally quit, and when he died at 93 he'd had no cancer anywhere except basal cell on his face at 92. My mom died of breast cancer at 31.

Weight and health are not necessarily related. The amount you exercise and what you eat play a far larger part in your health than what you weigh. A large person can be healthier than someone in a culturally acceptable body.

LauraBee wrote: "Oh lord, where to start. My husband’s mom died at 94 last September (2023). The last parent to die, but everyone else was in their 80s. And later 80s, too.

My parents were the smokers. My dad rol..."

Have any of you considered the new weight loss drugs? I'm probably 20 lbs. over what the charts say I should weigh, but I'm pretty comfortable with it. I've seen people who have taken these drugs and lost a lot of weight and to look at their faces, they look haggard. I've read that you have to stay on the drugs to maintain the weight loss, and I'm not willing to do that. What do you think?

Scout wrote: "Have any of you considered the new weight loss drugs? I'm probably 20 lbs. over what the charts say I should weigh, but I'm pretty comfortable with it. I've seen people who have taken these drugs a..."

I think 20 pounds overweight does not warrant taking ANY kind of drug! That stuff is full of pitfalls and if used at all should be as a last ditch effort for the morbidly obese.
A little less carbs or sugar and a little more exercise would probably take care of a few of those extra pounds you would like to lose.

My theory about being over weight is simple. If you eat anything for breakfast other than coffee you will be hungry all day and constantly snack. Just my theory, but what do I know.

I agree. Coffee or hot tea for breakfast, and then nothing else before 3 p.m. And nothing after 9 p.m. Why eat breakfast when you're not hungry? And I never am. Those are just extra calories added to your day.

I'm 70, and some days I feel like I can do anything; other days I wake up tired and achy. I get up anyway and do what I have to do, but it was much easier when I was younger. Just wondering - how often do you guys feel joy? Not that often for me, but driving on the back road coming home from a dentist appointment today, looking at the trees and the sky, I felt something close to joy. When was the last time for you?

I’m glad you found a moment of joy, Scout.
Myself, I waver between paralysis, boredom, periods of open normality, and feeling ok enough to just pass the time .

Scout wrote: "I'm 70, and some days I feel like I can do anything; other days I wake up tired and achy. I get up anyway and do what I have to do, but it was much easier when I was younger. Just wondering - how o..."

I am 56 caring for my husband who had a stoke two years ago at the age of 53. My days run from up then down. I am one of the lucky ones he is independent to a point. Found my lifeline through Yoga and my daughter. I love life! I try to find a positive in life every day.

I get it, Geraldine. That day, no one had asked anything of me, so I had some breathing space. That doesn't happen often.

Rhonda, you're so strong, and you've figured out how to let go of things you can't change and live in the moment. I keep trying to teach myself how to do that, and then my son diverts my attention to his problems in a way I can't ignore. I'm glad you have your daughter as a support.

I’ll be rooting for the Chiefs and the Commanders.

Commanders were great….. at fumbling the ball!

We were hoping for Washington and my husband has rooted for KC for over50 years.

I was reading thru the posts.. seems as if we are all seniors- we have almost all dealt with extreme loss, pain, anxiety etc.

Robert, your story sounds like my older brother! I lost him during covid. However he had tried to sorta write his life story as a warning?,,? To try to help others especially small kids with depression. He asked me to type it as it was on notes and pieces of papers. He really wanted to help kids. I did type it, I added my "notes" at various points as I was 10 yrs younger. He was a teen in the 50s era.
But Im struggling with trying to wrangle it into a book form... I feel bad as I have my own struggles healthwise and YET I really want to do what I promised for him. 🤔
Would anyone be interested to read through it and give me ideas or direction? * warning- its not a "fun"read.. but Ive tried to insert dome humor.
If so, please msg me and I can forward it to you. Ive been thinking about it awhile now and realize I need help or it wont get done.

Thanks!
Liz 🌷📚❣️

Kathleen wrote: "I would do more kicking and screaming if my sciatica would allow it. My mom is still doing well at 93, and my grandmother finished at 107. I'm hoping I inherited those genes. I have no intention of..."

Sciatica!! haha!! Aint it the truth?

Liz wrote: "I was reading thru the posts.. seems as if we are all seniors- we have almost all dealt with extreme loss, pain, anxiety etc.

Robert, your story sounds like my older brother! I lost him during cov..."

Liz I'm not sure what story from me you are referring too that reminds you of your brother. I have lots of stories in this group. Message me with more info and maybe I can help.

Robert wrote: "No I started smoking when i was 10. I'm 75 years old as of last week. Sometimes common sense doesn't come along until it's too late in life."

This is the msg that reminded me of my brother. He started in 5th grade and passed at 75.

Liz I’m quite familiar with the Colorado Springs area, you must live around the Manitou Springs. I was last there when I researched and wrote my novel Souls of the Desert a Rocky Mountain Mystery. I even looked into moving to Woodland Park, but discovered I couldn’t afford it.

Liz (In Colorado) I would be interested in helping you. I don't know how to message you personally. But message me & we can talk. Ok?

Robert wrote: "Liz I’m quite familiar with the Colorado Springs area, you must live around the Manitou Springs. I was last there when I researched and wrote my novel Souls of the Desert a Rocky Mountain Mystery. ..."

That's right up the road robert!🤭 I've been here since '76- and wow can't tell you how many new ppl do move here with the idea of moving to wp or divide or even now cripple creek has boomed due to legalized gambling. Its turned into a horrible commute in any direction, the one hwy through there is wind-y and packed. And of course yeah buying anything around here has become out of reach. I worked at the USOC 10 yrs and saw at least a dozen ppl move back down to colo sprgs after a yr or so in wp. LOLOL I'll have to find a copy if your book!
Liz🌷

Similar version of a modern day War of the Worlds.

I loved that one.. now I am going to HAVE to buy a kindle!🤣🤣