TWILIGHT HATERS discussion

Hey everyone!

I have decided to put my own wikipedia topic here in The Candy Corner! :D

Ask me absolutely any question, and I will answer it. :)

Yes, if you read my post about the history of dildos, then you'd be inspired to ask me more questions >_< hahahaha

So please, ask away :) and I will answer ASAP! :D

Hahahah do you want me to 'tell' you the full history?

Well... believe it or not, it started during the caveman years. :)

I'll shorten it since it's not gonna be that interesting since there wasn't basically any civilisation.

During this time, the population of women were decreasing. While the males were out hunting for food, the women were left defenseless against predators.

You youngsters would be surprised (gosh, I'm not an old lady why the hell am I saying youngsters?) that the craving for carnal pleasure was present since the day Adam and Eve (if they're real) were created by God.

When the men, who were favoured by the remaining women, didn't want to share their females... the men were left to fend their craving elsewhere.

And so... gayness started.

But one day, Fred Flintstone saw the beauty of one of his fellow bearded men. (yup... it's true XD) The man was short in stature, and almost had a womanly sex appeal. His name was Barney.

Soon, they fell madly in love.

Then one day when Merlin (I just love him :D) was travelling through time, trying to find one of his missing golfballs (he made a magical game that when he strikes the golf ball, he would open a portal close to the pot hole) saw the two cavemen kissing.

He yelled out: Ye are gay!!! and he zapped lightning on the ground, which caused fire. He wanted to punish the cavemen for their disgusting acts and thinking that the fire would kill them (but because he's too old his aim was off) he left the time and went back to his present.

But because the brains of the cavemen didn't have the same mental capacity as Merlin, they worshipped the wizard and the very first words that came out of him: Ye are gay.

They then shortenned it to Yay. Whenever Fred makes fire for the whole group in the cave, they would celebrate yelling out with pride the word YAY in honour of their mistaken god Merlin, who brought fire to their puny gay lives. :)

The end. :D

amazing love it!!!! XD

:D Thank you :)

I hope it was funny... >_< but I did love my dildo story as well! XD

Next question? :D

>_< hahahah I get the feeling that people will ask me random things and I have to exhaust my mind into making up histories of these things... >_< hahahaha!! Oh well! It helps me get my brain juices flowing :D

WARNING: To all those who are too religious, don't bother reading this because you will get offended...

others, please read.





The History of Frappucinos.

Before there was light... there was coffee...

How the heck did God create the world in 7 days without rest, right?

One day, Adam and Eve were naming the animals... The cow was having such a fit that Eve decided to check Connie the cow out.

"Hello Connie" mooed Eve.

Connie only mooed back with her cow accented English. (Hello Eve, my udders feel a little restless. They're sagging...)

Eve couldn't understand what Connie said, and so she said, "Wha-? I can't understand you... Speak English please."

Connie mooed in irritation, (Woman! I need my udders to be milked!)

Eve still couldn't understand the irritated cow, and so she left.

Connie was getting annoyed with Eve since it was the 5th time Eve haven't milked her out. Adam ought to teach his wife how to milk a cow.

God pitied Connie and gave Adam a bucket.

"Adam." He called.

Adam, however, was too busy learning how to dog-paddle in the piranha pond since the elephants were too busy bathing with the hippos. The piranhas were forbidden to eat humans according to law... or they would be kicked out of 'school'.

God decided to go and talk to Connie instead and placed the bucket next to her with some coffee beans. God decided to just talk to Adam the moment he's done learning the dog paddle.

Connie was once again furious at Eve, thinking how stupid humans can be as to not understand plain and simple English.

Then she saw the bucket of coffee beans God left for Adam. However God was on a potty-break when coincidentally Connie decided to eat the coffee beans. She spit it out the moment she chewed.

It was too bitter.

The smell of the coffee attracted a hive of bees. They came to Connie and asked her, "What is this peculiar object?"

The Queen Bee took one sample of the coffee beans with Connie's permision.

In the end they both decided to share. The Queen would give Connie some honey in exchange for a few coffee beans.

Connie was delighted and she ate her share.

When Adam finished dog-paddling/drowning, he walked up to Connie, his favourite cow.

"Howdy Connie!"

Connie smiled back to Adam, however her udders still felt like they were sagging and it irritated her how Eve's udders didn't look too huge and why she only had two.

Connie mooed in complain to Adam at how Eve didn't milk her for 5 days as he asked her to.

Adam clicked his tongue and approached Eve. The two ended up in a heated argument. A few seconds later, they decided to make up... which quickly turned to make out.

Connie was shaking in fury, her nose were practically blowing off steam. Then she decided to just forget about it and have a bath.

The water was cold and she felt her head cool off as well.

When Adam and Eve finished their 'business', the man turned around and decided to find Connie.

When he started milking her, he realised how cold the dairy was...

and it looked brown.

So Adam tried the other set of udders, but this time, cream started pouring out.

God came back from his potty break and saw Adam milking Connie.

"Hey, what have you got there?"

He asked.

"Daddy? I think Connie is sick..."

"Awww... don't worry she's fine. But I'm more interested with what you're holding there."

Connie rolled her eyes. God was more interested in her brown and creamy milk instead of her health.

God, being a great father, decided to try it out Himself first before letting His child try it... it might give him constipation and God had to wait outside the bathroom door for ages. It was a hassle to potty train Adam and Eve... He had to take them to the heavenly toilet room because he didn't have enough time to decide how to design a diaper.

Or...

He knew what Connie made (a frappucino) and didn't want Adam knowing that an irresistable cold beverage could ever exist and he might become selfish and never share it with God again, and God wanted many frappucinos.

"Son... this is terrible!"

Adam bowed his head in sadness... it was a good thing he didn't drink it.

"I'm sorry father..."

God was busy gulping down the last drop from the bucket before he answered. "It's ok son. It tasted terrible I had to get rid of it because daddy doesn't want you getting constipated."

Soon Eve joined in, "What did I miss?"

"Nothing," the boys answered.

"Well if you guys are busy, I'd go and milk Connie"

Adam wanted to tell her that it's already been done, but he decided to just let his wife be, because of an arranged marriage but Adam was actually in love with Jane but she was taken by Tarzan somewhere near the Gorilla pads.

"What was it that came out of Connie, father?"

"Frappucino." God answered without thinking, realising too late that the name sounded delicious.

"Mmmm... sounds tasty." Adam said as he rubbed his tummy.

"No no no no son! You don't understand. It's short for rats wrap your nose."

It was silent...

"I don't get it."

"You don't have to. It is fact because I say so..."

"So... Frappucinos stand for rats wrap your nose?"

"Yes... just look at all the boogers you have! MY GOD!! BOY!! CLEAN YOURSELF UP!! Ask the anteaters to help you clean the hard to reach places."

Adam however hated baths... so he went to the serpent in the forbidden tree and asked him to teach him how a snake gets such beautiful skin without bathing. The snake's dirt seems to disappear with it too.

The serpent said that he sheds his skin. Adam knew that humans couldn't shed skin like serpents according to his Human Biology 101 textbook. Adam wanted to fetch Eve since she was 'smarter' so she could be clean too but the serpent stopped him.

Adam asked why.

"Ladies first."

Adam didn't know what it meant so he shrugged it off and ate the apple.

Soon, they were kicked out of The Garden of Eden.

Adam was sad...

Eve was sad...

Connie decided to open her own business of Starbucks in the Garden of Eden.

Soon, her Frappucinos were a hit until it spread through out the land one tree at a time.

Adam and Eve could only look at Connie's products from afar...

:( Adam and Eve never got to taste rats wrap your nose.

Decades later when Connie's business closed down since The Garden of Eden wasn't in the maps and the GPS, Adam decided to make the same business...

but because he was so old and was lazy to say 'if rats wrap your nose', he changed it to frappucino like what God said.


and so, the coffee business boomed and improved in time.

Jesus Christ was able to stay awake in the garden praying for so long because his dad gave him some frappucino from the nearest joint.


And that my friends, is the true history of Frappuccinos. :D

I think I spelled the name of the coffee wrong in the previous paragraphs... oh well...

I need a frappuccino now too... *yawns*

Hahaha! I'm glad you liked it! :D You're very welcome. My infinite knowledge of history about everything is something I would love to share to the world :D

And remember in the history of Yay? Where I said carnal pleasure was present since Adam and Eve were made?

Well... this story just proves it... >_< hahaha

Wow. That's just... wow.



...



HAHAHAHAHAHA!! That was hilarious!! How do you think of this stuff, Rain?! XD

Hahahah they just come up in my head the moment I start typing and the moment I read someone's request. :D

I'm glad you loved it Nightshade :D hahahahah I'm glad to make people laugh!

POTTY! POTTY! *almost pees self* THAT, my friend, was pure genius.

What about the history of... prostitutes? *Shall be interesting*

Hahahahaha!!! I had a feeling this would come up! >_< Well... not THAT specifically... I was talking about sexual stuff... >_< hahahaha


Well I'm glad you loved my wikipedia guys!

:D

Hmmmm...

I'm getting the feeling that I really should make a website about MY version of Wiki. :D

What do you guys think.

I'm gonna type the history later, Keara... >_< I'm a little busy with the bf at the moment.

...

...


NOOOOO!! Not that kind of busy!!! >_< Perverts! >_<

There is actually a REAL history about this... and I don't know if I should really make my own history about this since the history of prostitution is already quite detailed...

But lemme think of something ok? :D I'll try to make it as funny as the others.

I wasn't thinking that type of busy until YOU said it!!!

Riiiiiiiight... :D ;) hahahah lol! I'm still thinking though. Maybe I would have typed something by later tonight... well Perth time. >_<

~ READ AT YOUR OWN RISQUE... er... RISK~

This has rude and explicit content that may offend anyone with a weak heart and attitude of acceptance and openness.





They said that prostitution actually started back in the early civilisations; Mesopotamian.

Fukoyu and Fukomi were beautiful twins. They looked different than all the other girls in their little village.

They had small slanty eyes, pale white skin, and a small stature. Their voice were considered very adorable too.

One day, Fukoyu and Fukomi went to the forest to gather some fruits and fishes to eat. Fukoyu decided to hunt for the fishes while Fukomi decided to pick some berries and bananas.

A young TIME traveler came down Fukoyu's way and saw the girl with wet clothes. He was astounded by her beautiful features and dared to look down upon her magnificent body. He accidentally stepped on a twig, which alerted the young lady of someone watching her.

"COME OUT, YOU COWARD!"

Fukoyu yelled out.

The traveller put his hands up in the air, acting like he just don't care since he's got better weapons than a sharp stick that Fukoyu was pointing at him.


"Easy... easy, there lady! I'm not a threat"

"Who are you?"

"I'm uh... I'm a worker for the Prostate Instution."

"The what?"

"Prostate Institution. Well... you're too dumb to know what they mean."

"You're the dumb one assh*le. I asked for your name not your job."

"It's Pedro... Pedro Philia."

"Pedo?"

"No... Pedro Philia. That's my full name. What is yours, beautiful lady?"

"FUKOYU!!!"

"Excuse me!?"

"I said, FUKOYU!!!"

"Hey! I kindly asked for your name and you tell me this?"

"Don't you understand Latin!?"

Pedro looked at her indifferently.

"We were talking English, just awhile ago..."

Fukoyu was furious... this man was wasting her time and it was almost sundown. It was dangerous for people to stay in the forest when darkness comes nigh. Fukoyu yelled out for her twin.

"Fukomi!!!!"

Pedro's ears perked up. "What did you say?"

The girl rolled her eyes and yelled out instead. "FUKOMI!!!!!!"

Pedro grinned. "Ok. If you say so."



A few minutes ago before Pedro came.


Fukomi was picking boysen berries and placed them in her basket. She picked all the fruits she could get but she was craving for some banana.

She decided to go to her sister to tell her that she was going to go home and ask people if they have some banana they were willing to share.

Then, a man bumped into her which caused her to drop her berries. The man's denim pants (yes... denim... he's from the future) were completely stained.

"Damnit! Sorry Miss... I wasn't looking at where I was going..."

"Watch where you're going!" Fukomi asked.

The man dusted himself off and said sarcastically.

"Yeah miss, I feel fine. I have no cactus needles on my ass... I'm so totally fine. I just seem to have a stain on my pants."

Fukomi looked, and felt a little guilty.

"Lemme help you with that."

Fukomi took a wet cloth from her sack and wiped the man's pants gently. Out of her awareness, the man was blushing furiously as his arousal seem to grow.

"What's your name?" she asked.

"Lester... Lester de Molester Cockinshtuff...", Lester thought that the movie Zack and Miri ought to be sued for using his name like that... and so they gave him enough money to get his time machine.

She was silent.

Lester wanted to ask the girl what her name was.... but he was too busy enjoying the sensation that he didn't bother.

Fukomi thought that it was rude of her not to give her name when Lester gave his.

"Fukomi..."

she replied a little too late.

"W-what?" Lester asked.

"I said... Fukomi."

Fukomi was the exact opposite of her twin. She was rough, tough, and quieter than Fukoyu. Fukomi wanted to do the fishing but Fukoyu was never happy when she came to realise that her twin stabbed the fishes too much that she ruined the food to pieces with her short temper. So she decided to switch.

"A-are you sure?" panted Lester.

"Let's go home and fix that." Fukomi said as she pointed at the stained pants of Lester.

"Hell yeah!"

and so they went.



Pedro and Lester stayed with Fukoyu and Fukomi, introducing them to the ideas of Prostate Institution.
That was where the idea of 'anal' started.

Fukomi did end up getting her banana... although she wondered why she couldn't bite it. Lester said she had to savour it.

Lester and Pedro introduced the Prostate Institution and hired the twins as their assistants. Together... they saved thousands of men from getting Prostate cancer... and having large unattended boners.

As the years passed, the Prostate Institution evolved, checking for Cervical and Ovarian cancer in women. Their name eventually shortened to Prostitution.

That my friends...

is the SHORTENED version of how Prostitution came to be in the Mesopotamian era....


Thanks to the people with the time machine, prostitution was available in the ancient times and saved many lives... and boners. :D





100% FACT GUARANTEED :D
I AM THE ULTIMATE TRUTH!!

~ Rain

Rain = Truth indeed!!!

That was hilarious! "FUKOMI!"

I am Rain... I AM TRUTH!! >:D

Rose: which one are you? Rain or Ruth?

I said Truth!

Rose: oh...

Hahahah I'm glad you liked it Keara... >_< I was having my doubts about it. I thought it wasn't as funny as the dildo and the other epic ones. This one is just stupid... like prostate institutions! :D

Nice Rain.... very wonderful.

Ha, when I was in Tombstone, Arizona, there was so much stuff on prostitutes we had to leave early, there was an entire HOUSE with prostitute stuff all over it. And the little children reading the signs... HA.

whoa! lol i went to tombstone but i didn't see that! ...glad about that.

Rose wrote: "Nice Rain.... very wonderful.

Ha, when I was in Tombstone, Arizona, there was so much stuff on prostitutes we had to leave early, there was an entire HOUSE with prostitute stuff all over it. An..."

Yeah... I told you it's a very X rated question...

Next question please... *tries to move away from the prostitution history*

NICE, Rain. XD

Rose wrote: "Nice Rain.... very wonderful.

Ha, when I was in Tombstone, Arizona, there was so much stuff on prostitutes we had to leave early, there was an entire HOUSE with prostitute stuff all over it. An..."

That's... just...

O_O

Yes, tell mesa about it.

Question... question... um.... OO!!

Where do fangirls come from and what was the very first thing that was fan-girled over?

HAHAHAHHAHA!!! THIS SHOULD BE FUN!! >_< HAHAHA

Alas... it's 407 am here in Perth... so I'm kinda too lazy to type the plot that entered my head. >_< I'll type it up tomorrow after I finish my chores. >_< Sorry Rose2 >_<

MMMKay kay.

yes.

I don't think we need to answer tha question, hon. >_<

Yeah... sorta answers itself!

Will you answer the fangirl question NOW?

I'd love to but... the problem is... I have an exam tomorrow... I have time to answer small questions but not type up a whole story...

Don't worry... After I finish my exam tomorrow, after I've done my fitness training, and after teaching my sister how to play guitar, I'll type. :)

*sigh*

How about toothpicks. Where did they come from?

Oooh, that will be interesting.

Toothpicks???? Hmm..................

TREES!!

XD!! I'm so smart!

Rose wrote: "Yes, tell mesa about it.

Question... question... um.... OO!!

Where do fangirls come from and what was the very first thing that was fan-girled over?"

Ok... FINALLY!! I have enough time to answer this.



In a galaxy far far... FAR way from Earth's own galaxy, there was a planet.

One day, their population was too much and they needed to find another Habitable planet.

A few centuries later after God created Earth, He went on a nappy time. Jesus was busy playing video games since his appointment on Earth was finished.

St. Peter looked at Jesus' big flat screen and was amazed at how the graphics looked so real.

Angel Michael sweatdropped and gently lead St. Peter back to his Tetris video game in the old Saints care centre in the next cloud.

Back on EARTH,

Leonardo Da Vinci was a handsome genius. The girls would worship the land he set foot on and would ask him to paint them.

He couldn't find anyone who could inspire him. Then one day, a beautiful woman caught his eye.

Her name was Lisa del Giocondo.

She was unfortunately married, and Leonardo couldn't help but fall in love with her.

Leonardo was known to be a lady's man when he was in Florence when he met her.

He told her, "Signora, let I, the great Leo Da Vinci, make a wonderful and sexy painting of you!"

Lisa looked at him, and he was shocked to see she had no eyebrows, and so he didn't realise she was mad when she said, "No."

Leo paused for a while, and decided to laugh it off. "Sorry, Moi can't hear you from all this ideas flowing in my beautiful head."

Lisa gripped his collar and pulled him close. Leo was infatuated with her even more at their close proximity. "I said... no."

She ran away, and when Leo chased after her, he tripped and lost all his fast drawn drafts.

Then suddenly, a space ship landed and a big pokemon emerged.

"Xatu..." it said.

People screamed their lungs out and ran away from the tall pokemon.

Leonardo raised one of his eyebrows in confusion. "Mi Excusi, Signore Xatu. But... what is that red and white ball behind you?"

"My name, is Xenu. Not Xatu. And to answer your pathetic question you pathetic human, it is one of my balls, and also my space ship."

"Your... balls? It can fly?"

"If you are curious about this machine, then you must convert to Scientology."

"Your... balls are machines? Uh... what's that? Scientology I mean."

"Do not ask questions ugly human."

Leonardo gasped, how dare this bird brain (and face), call him ugly. He humphed and marched away.

A day later after Xatu's arrival, Leo couldn't help but think about the woman he saw. He decided to go to the markets and there he saw her again.

She was buying some apples.

"Signorina, buy an apple and get a Twilight and Scientologist book for free! Complements of Lord Xenu."

Lisa cringed and decided to move along.

Leo followed her quietly, stalking like a tiger, and quiet as a cat in the alley. Lisa went to her apartment and took the elevator since she was carrying too much stuff.

Then she saw her nephew Tom, jumping on the couch.

"I love Xenu! I love Xenu!"

Lisa punished him by sending him to his room and with no bouncing. Leo was by the window, watching Lisa's everymove. He was entranced by her lack of facial expression, especially because she doesn't have eyebrows.

He realised, he grew obsessed with her.

He ignored all the other girls in Italy, and only had eyes for Lisa. He screamed like a school girl whenever she was nearby. He get chills up and down his spine whenever he gets the chance to touch her beautiful hair.

Soon, Lisa started to wonder where Leo went. She knew that the guy obsessed with her the moment they met, but after that day, she never saw him again.

So she decided to go and find him.

Leo was ecstatic that Lisa gave him a chance to show her what he was really like. They frollicked in the alley as he painted along the way.

He took her to his inventing shed where he was making his own plane that could outmatch Xatu's pokeballs.

Lisa kept correcting him that the name of the Scientologist freak was Xenu. He didn't listen.

Soon, Xenu's army raided the earth when Leo was about to propose to Lisa and before he could place some eyebrows in the portrait he was painting for her.

Lisa wanted to know how she would look like if she had eyebrows.

Explosion was everywhere. Lisa and Leo fled to their apartment and went to the Inventing shed.

"Please don't go, LEO!"

"I have to, cara mia. This... is the only way to save your hometown. And to save you."

Lisa was crying, she wanted to go with Leo but he wasn't able to finish the other seat.

Soon, Xenu was defeated when Leo dropped him in a volcano.

He used giant fans for his invention to be able to fly, and the moment he landed, groups of people were welcoming their hero, him.

Girls surrounded him, telling him that his big fan was able to defeat the pokemon and his other minions from his planet.

But Leo's eyes were set only at Lisa. Right then and there, he proposed.

Soon, because of Leo's heroism, groups of girls danced with fans in celebration.

They were dancing for Leonardo's wedding, to praise his artworks, and to praise him in general.

And thus, the term fan girl was created.

Where did fangirls come from?

Xenu's planet. Look at how devoted the Scientologists are.

The first fan girl?

Well... it was actually a boy named:

Leonardo Da Vinci.

First thing that was fangirlled?

The Mona Lisa.

Although this story is confusing and very random, and sometimes CAN'T be funny, this is the truth, and NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH.


The Rain has spoken. :D

Yup... you vill never know what goes on in our minds...


GREAT, RAIN!!

:D Thanks so much peoples! :D

I know there are some spelling and grammar errors there but seriously... I have no energy whatsoever to change them. >_<

Thank you for the compliments! :D

I'm glad you peoples like it! hahaha my bf did say I'm very random...

Once, we were talking about something serious and we became quiet... it was a time to dwell on our conversation. Then I suddenly blurted out, "I wonder how blue cheese taste like."

He just laughed so hard! :D


@ Shaakira,

you should read my other wikipedia facts! :D

THEY'RE TRUE I TELL YOU!!! THEY'RE TRUE!!!!!

and I will probably take a little time to write the history of coke koz im not in a writing mood. >_<

Oh I forgot about the history of Toothpicks.

I'll post it up soon! I have an idea for that! :D

BTW, it'd be disgusting...

What about toothpicks. :/ It can't JUST be trees... I mean... *gah*

I don't care!

Hey look :D - we posted at the same time. XD

<:D~

PARTY WITH THE GOATIE DUDE!

Hahahaha!! Wahoo!!! Goatie!!!

Oooh! Goat!!

Goat: Meh!!

Goat: *eats can* Me-e-e-e-eh!

hey wats d history of skool?! i want 2 kno d basterd dat putin us tru dis!!!!!!!!!!

wat's d history of bastards cus my ex seems to b one

Woah woah woah peoples!

>_< You guys are getting angry!

I don't know if you guys want me to make a funny history of it or you want me to REALLY give you the REAL history...

Rain's list of stuff to write the history about:

1) Toothpick
2) Coke (drink)
3) School
4) Bastards
5) Chatspeak (Ohhhh yes... I want to kill them too! >_<)


~ PLEASE PLEASE don't ask anymore... 'cause I haven't even done these yet... ~ My brain isn't a super powered computer... it's just super powered brain, ok? :D

Hahahah what do you mean, the same?

Shaakira wrote: "yea rain, take ur time...nobody's rushin!"

Thanks Shaakira. >_< But I just thought I should tell everybody to stop asking until I answered the questions above...

>_<

phew... keeping a wikipedia is hard!! >_<

whts da prob wit cht speek?


Haha just kidding.